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PS2 Atari - 2004 I’ve said it before and I will say it many more times. I might even ululate it: Liking something doesn’t necessarily have to do with whether it’s good or not. Case in point: Twizzlers. You shouldn’t eat another twizzler. But yer gonna. You’ll take it out of the bag, look at it, hate it, then eat it. You’ll turn to your friend and make him or her swear to spear you with a thousand toothpicks if you ever eat a twizzler again, as you eat another one. It is so with Budokai 3. It does its level best to be just like the TV show. The moves are the same, the feel is the same, the characters even look exactly like their anime counterparts. It even retains the same excruciatingly slow pace. The game comes in several different modes. There’s a tournament mode, a practice mode and a story mode. The story mode is called “Dragon Universe.” Basically, you can view the story of Dragonball Z through the perspectives of most of the characers involved in it. That sounds kind of cool, but it’s really not. Did you have fun taking 2 hours out of your life to find out what happened to Goku through the entirety of DBZ? Hmm? Would you like to do it another 2 or 3 times? Now do it for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE GORRAM SHOW SHOOT ME NOW. Feh. Also, I would like to note that Dragonball Z, being such an incredibly looooooong show, frequently switches main characters, meaning that you only ever get to see snippets of the whole plot at a time. Feh again. Also, the voice acting inspires hatred within me. I want to kill babies. Grrrr. Cursed secondary cast. I cordially invite them, today, the Twenty-Fifth of February of the year 2005, to eat a cock. And of course, at this point, we’ve said absolutely nothing about the actual gameplay. So please allow me a moment to slander it: Usually, in a fighting game, you have several avenues of attack open to you. You can choose to attack from a distance, or perhaps try to sidle up close and go hand-to-hand. Or perhaps, in this modern age of 3-D graphics, you can circle your opponent until an opportunity to strike arises. At a time where most fighting games are becoming more and more complex, Budokai 3 felt like a step backwards. While sidestepping is an option, it’s complicated to accomplish and its benefits are dubios. When you get right down to it, there’s only one way to win, and it’s not a very interesting way: punch the crap out of hapless opponent. Power up. Go into hyper mode. Go into Dragon rush. Hyper Mode, Dragon Rush, Ultimate move, End. Add this to the fact that to finish the game you must literally spend about 30 of hours of your life to truly see everything and you have a recipie for pure frustration. Ah, yes. Dragon Rush. A pre-determined movie-like sequence in which you and your opponent look cool while hitting each other for a minute or two. At the beginning of the dragon rush, the agressor presses one of the four Main buttons: square, circle, X or triangle. The Defender chooses one as well: If the attacker and the defender choose the same button, the dragon rush stops. It normally has three stages. It basically amounts to a fancy schmancy game of rock-paper-scissors. That you barely ever win and the computer will almost always beat you at. A lot of the gameplay just plain boils down to chance, and that is not fun, my friend. Not fun at all. Did I mention that it’s also the strongest move for ANY character and that it almost always ends in tears and occaisionally prostitution? Budokai 3 bears comparison with Enter the Matrix. Both are based on popular franchises that invovle exciting concepts simply oozing with mass appeal. Atari was also involved in the production of both games. But in the end, Neither Budokai 3 nor Enter the Matrix managed to provide a truly satisfying gaming experience. While Atari managed to evoke the mood of both the Matrix Movies and the DBZ show well enough, the gameplay lacked complexity and was genreally uninterested in fun. It’s amusing to revel in the DBZ world for a while, but in the end, it’s just not worth playing all the way through. The real tradgedy is that the Dragonball Z franchise has been capable all along of providing the idea for a truly fascinating fighting game. Unfortunately, Dragonball is so immensely popular that companies like Atari know that people will buy it even if it sucks. Therefore I must regretably label Budokai 3 as one of the many deliberate grabs at your wallet. Oh, and it sucks. What liked: Loyalty to the show, Cell-shaded characters. What disliked: Bland, monotonous game that relies too much on chance. What to expect: A genuine effort to recreate the TV show including an almost comprehensive list of fighting characters. Also cursing the day you were born. What not to expect: The completion of a dragon-rush. What's so different from this and other games of it's genre: simplified controls, counter-counter system, dragon rush. Ratings on: Control: 6 (Rather hard to understand. The criteria for pulling off some of the moves is ill-defined and hard to practice.) Graphics: 9 (Stunning. Atari took its time making the game look exactly like the show, and I have to say that, thanks to cell-shading, they pretty much pulled it off.) Sound: 6 (above average. Voice clips are done, unfortunately, by the second cast of DBZ that took over in the middle of the freiza saga.) Style: 4 (For a game that’s a rip-off of a TV show, it did surprisingly well – the dragon rush and ultimate moves are a nice touch, and they help bring the fun element of the TV show to the game.) Difficulty: 8 (The most challenging thing about it is luck. Fighting Frieza for 15 minutes and losing because you can complete a fucocking dragon rush is a real let-down.) 1st day: 8 (Hey, this game is awesome! It’s just like the show – I can’t wait to play as all the characters and unlock all the moves they have!! What’s a dragon rush?!! What’s Hyper mode?!!! I wanna go super saiyin!!!!!) 2nd day: 4 (Wait a second . . . this isn’t fun at all. This is boring and repetitive – why am I still playing this?) 3rd day: 3 (I friggin’ hate this game.) 4th day: 2 (I really wish I could stop playing. Pass the twizzlers.) #1 reason why I hate this game: HA! We’ve been fighting for Half an Hour already, but I’m only at 50 PERCENT POWER!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! by Freeohio, The Ant Loin Duke. |
