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Armed Dragon Fantasy Villgust NES Plex/Angel – 1993 Translated by J2E - 1998 ADFV is at heart an easy dime-a-dozen NES RPG with two unique features and a plot that not only relies on you having seen the anime (I’ve never even heard of it) but is irreperably garbled in translation. Yeah – I’m still confused. The concept for this game came from an anime called “Villgust” (Consequently, all information I’ve found about the game comes from http://rivendell.fortunecity.com/hero/93/villgust.html) Of course, no one really cared because the plot was boring and the characters were ultimately forgettable. Just like the McRib . . . mmmmmmmmmmmm . . . meat. ADFV was eventually translated into English because aliens said so. From what I can discern (the dialogue seems to have been cut up, pooped on by epileptic monkeys and shipped to Ghana where it was translated into !chpitli and THEN into English), the plot is your basic “oh, bad things are happening! . . . world saving ensues” kind of thing. Or that’s what it used to mean, but now it sounds something like this: “World save! Bad things . . . Savey Savey!” For an NES rpg, I suppose the graphics weren’t so bad. The opening sequence had a couple of nice character pictures and sometimes when you equip new armor you can see a picture of it in the menu. Obviously, this is supposed to make up for The deranged rabbit that seems to be stalking you omnipotently. However, whatever enjoyment was garnered from seeing such delightful extras is ruined by the fact that all of the houses looked exactly the same, like some sort of las vegas suburb. (layout and everything – same armoir, same two pots . . . This is obviously the easy version of the graphics, dumbed down for American audiences) All of the towns were some variation of rectangle and most of the townspeople looked similar, indicating the presence of pod people. Of course, it could be due to the lack of space on an NES cartridge, but that is just what the pod people want you to think. Trite as it was, there were a couple of good points to the game. First, the battle system was unlike any I’ve ever seen. You can either choose “auto battle” which is your usual 3rd person “Jack attacks the slime for 23 damage” layout, or you can choose the default sidescrolling battle. This unique system adds a little flair to a bland game, but it is somewhat ruined by the fact that there are precious few enemies, fewer fighting environments (some of which were really strange. Apparently, in Villgust, all caves are ice caves) and almost no difficulty. To make matters just a little worse, you get lost so much (you’ll have no identifiable clue as to what you’re supposed to be doing) that you’ll soon be so strong that all enemies (even bosses) die in one hit, making the game even easier and you a fickle demigod of one-hit smiting. Second, the translation is so bad it’s good. It makes NO sense. I’ve included a list of quotes directly from the translated game below. Read with caution: they have been known to cause brain hernias. Whatever those are. Anyway – the conversations were just as bad. They’re mostly too long to quote, but they all went something like this: Murobo: I’m the Goddess Hero! Young Man: e have to help the Lemmy: Gaaa! Young Man: Oh! Bostoph: Lemmy is right. We must go to the magician’s palace. Lucia: I like fish. Add dungeon, repeat. It hurts. What liked:unique battle system, unintentionally hilarious dialogue. What disliked:general repetitiveness, retarded (and unintelidgable) story, Lita, repetitive monsters, boring dungeons, general repetitiveness. What to expect:nothing special . . . some really funny moments, a bunch of dal slime, suddenly metamorphasizing goddesses. Why this game should be buried under an iceburg in Alaska: see above. Ratings on: Control: 5 (battle controls were fine, but out of battle controls were sluggish and confusing) Graphics: 4 (is this the house I was just in . . .? Yes! No?!) Sound: N/A (didn’t turn off winamp the whole time) Style: 3 (battle stuff was cool, some graphics were innovative) 10 minutes: 8 (ok, that opening was a little funky, but I’m doing great now . . . WOA! THIS BATTLE SYSTEM RAWKS!) 20 minutes: 7 (all of the houses are the same) 30 minutes: 6 (all of the towns are the same) 1st hour: 3 (I am stuck) 3rd hour: 2 (I am stuck) 5th hour: 4 (y’know, these dialogues are kinda funny) 6th hour: 1 (I am stuck) #1 reason why I hate this game: I might still be searching for the stone flower if I hadn’t dug up the only existing FAQ on the ‘net. Plus: If you guys translated this from japanese you KNOW that “sakana” means “fish.” WHY IS IT CALLED “SAKANAFISH?!!” Freeohio is on sale for $.99 a pound. The Quotable ADFV: This rabbit is very delightful, but it inhibits us. -Murobo More comin'! Fuck 'em! -Young Man This is the Desert town of Fork. -Villager SUCK IT!! -Demon's Messenger Axe I'm afraid of my husband's parents. They're so mysterious . . . -Villager Enough talk! DIEE!!!! -Flower I live my life for the Demon! (Dies) -Flower The Magician is Dead, but I can get his cat to obey you. Give in to your feelings! (Got Wood!) -Ghost Demon book: What do you want? Murobo: Free Hash!! Demon book: OK!!
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