July
Welcome to Arizona!
Once a teacher at church told me that, as Christians, the time we spend on this earth is our "hell". He said this is the worst it gets. After 57 days in Arizona, I can vouch for that. Arizona has been my hell. At first, it was just the environment. 108 degrees is normal, any day below 100 is unusual. The wind could be compared to that eye-brow singing blast that you get when you open an oven to check on a cooking turkey. You have to be careful or you get sunburn, and you must carry liquids everywhere you go. You have to shower constantly to keep from smelling like a filthy animal. You don't want to go out in the heat of the day, but you can't go out at night when it's cooler because of the crime. As I walk down the street the sun scorches my head and every once in a while I'll catch a whiff of something dead on the wind.
I looked for a good job at first - digging through newspapers, applying at grand hotels that needed bellhops. The more I looked the more dead ends I ran into. I found a job but it robbed me of my money and I did not have the spirit to be a manipulative saleswoman who knocks on people's doors. The reality that time is money soon became very apparent. I came to Phoenix early so that I could get ahead. Instead it has eaten me alive and sucked every penny from my pocket.
Finally I found a job...a security guard. A dream job for me. After much calculation, I found that I could pay next month's bills! Hurrah! Is this so much to ask? They said, "You must prove yourself." I thought, "I'll be tough. I'll be brave. I'll prove that I can live up to their standards as well as any hulking man." I worked so hard...my feet hurt, my back hurt, but I was on top of things. It was a good job and I was going to pay my bills.
Then it happened.
I thought I had a copy of the schedule, but then I found I did not. So I called. "You were scheduled to work this morning. Turn in your uniform next time you come in." His words hit me like a eighteen wheeler. I sat down, stunned. Yes, it was my fault. I had assumed too much. Surely, I had thought that they would not schedule me for the one day I said I could not work. One day out of the entire week. How could I lose my job for going to church?
I sat.
I sit.
I draw.
But what good is that?
I will grab a fast food job - maybe even start tomorrow, but that still leaves me short. Mom can lend me a few bucks, but then how will I ever pay her back?
Ironically, one of the bible verses we read today was on fire. It compared the method of purifying gold in the heat of a fire to God purifying us with trials and tribulation. Spiritual FIRE.
Well, friends, I've just been fired. I'm a toasted kitty through and through and I'm at the end of my rope. Man, I had it easy in Montana. I took a lot for granted. Why is it so hard to live?
Perhaps this week something bad will happen at my security job while I'm serving tacos next door and then I will know why God has chosen this direction for me to stumble. Maybe I'll never know why until I die.
One thing has been made evident: I am entirely at God's mercy. Never again will I think that anything I have is mine because of me...
Sorry if I don't get my comic started up again for a while. I'm running out of humorous situations...
Ring! Ring, I say!
Okay, things are looking a little better now despite the lack of work. Mom is encouraging me and so are my new friends here. They think I can stick things out and do alright, and I guess I've just gotta have faith that I'll be okay. And I should be calm and accepting of what comes instead of screaming and running around in circles like a trapped wild animal. Monday my pastor and his wife drove me around picking up applications and applying for jobs. We must have hit at least a dozen different places. So now I'm just sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring. I can't go out and apply for any more since it's after five and everything's pretty much closed. And I don't want to be stuck out in the dark again. Once is definitely enough. I have a real problem with sleezy perverts thinking I'm a prostitute just because I'm waiting for the bus on Van Buren (shiver). Good thing I had my stun gun with me.
Anyway, my neighbor took me out to eat today and I spent seven dollars on food. She thought this was cheap! Ack! Well at least I have leftovers so that it will last for more than one meal, and it was nice to eat out again. It's been a while. I probably shouldn't have, but I'm still full and that's a good thing. Plus my neighbor took me to drop off more applications, so that was good too.
(sigh)
I drew the kicking guy today when I watched a video of kickboxing. I paused it over and over to capture a moment-by-moment motion. I need to draw more I guess. I just don't feel like it. I feel like sleeping and staring at the ceiling. Maybe if I act crazy they'll place me in an institute and then that's all I'll do! Well...I suppose that's no solution. How would I update Highlight of the Day then?
Bearing the Heat
Today I cleaned stuff. I wanted to make pancakes, but then remembered that there's no room to eat, let alone mix up a bowl of ingredients on my kitchen table, so I decided to fix that. Having a place to work with food is just as important as having a place to put my computer and scanner. I took my table from beneath the window and replaced it with a box with a quilt thrown over it (classy!). It's smaller and uglier, but it holds up the lamp and chessboard okay. I moved my entire computer to the aforementioned table and then sat down to go through mounds of papers. Now I have a clean, open table, and somewhat of a sense of organization.
My neighbor, Jeanie dropped by to borrow my computer to look up important information (she's going to Mexico). I let her in even though I was in my pajamas and we talked and I made pancakes and then, when I found I didn't have all the ingredients for syrup she went downstairs and got some from her place. The pancakes were pretty good and I was happy to have a bit of company. Jeanie thinks that cramming a roommate in this tiny place is a bad idea. She thinks that sort of thing could ruin a friendship. I think, though, that Ky and I could get along okay. We're both pretty good at being nice and compromising I think. As long as she doesn't punch holes in the walls or crash my computer things should be just fine (...though I do wonder where she would put her clothes). Maybe she will bring a dresser and then we can share it and I can finally put my suitcase away, heh.
The hippo is sort of an assignment I made for myself. I told one of my online artist friends that if she inked and watercolored something like Cara Jane Mitten then I would too. So here it is. Not exactly as detailed as a Cara Jane Mitten piece, but it's a fair try I think.
I went out on my bike this afternoon job hunting again. It was so hot...I must have been a sight walking into those fancy offices in shorts and a sweaty shirt with my hair going every which way. Another bad thing about riding my bike around is the handle bars are sort of disintegrating and melting so my hands are always filthy with black rubber after riding. Thus, I had to avoid shaking any hands (which was probably not good for business). I got a LOT of excercise and found that there's an awful lot of open desert space and apartment complexes around my area. Roads and open fields of dirt and cactuses. I had a nice meeting with a lady at Cousin's Subs. She said that in Phoenix one must obtain a "food permit" to work at any restaraunts. You have to pay $15 for someone to tell you to wash your hands and don't sneeze into the food.
No guarantees, no promises of being hired, and most of the apartment places wanted a resume, which is hard for me since I don't have a printer. Oh well. I got home and needed to get some clean water from the water machine. I have two empty jugs that I reuse all the time. The water is a quarter a gallon, and I had only two quarters. One quarter had a problem though. I figured it was pryed off the sidewalk by a frustrated person because it was crusted with superglue. No way a machine would take that. So I dug around and found my superglue remover and worked on picking it off for the next twenty minutes or so. It finally was good enough to use, and I took the two jugs and two quarters to the machine. I put in the superglue quarter and it took it (yay!). I filled one jug. Then I put the normal quarter in, and the darned thing spit it out! I tried again. Ka-ching - it was rejected again. I studied the quarter and found the reason - the silver edge had been shaven off. Durn it. I tried shoving it in. It came back out. I tried dropping it carefully. It came back out. Finally I jammed it in as hard as I could...and it accepted it. Yay, a minor triumph in the life of Jo. Now if I can just get that job...
Hallelujah!
Ah, you see? I am living proof that God provides. Yay! I have a job! And not just some junk job either. It's at a sub shop so I get cheap food for working there plus it pays better than my security job! Imagine that! The people there are really nice and the business is run by a family. It was kind of funny. Paul comes and sits down to explain to me how the shop is run. "Now here, there aren't really managers. Only the family. The family runs this place, so whatever they say goes..." *images from The Godfather flash through my mind*
The store is about 15 minutes away from my apartment by bike, so I don't have to rely on the bus or leave two hours early (like before). And it closes at 7 pm so I shouldn't ever be stuck out in the night. It's exactly what I need! God is cool.
Anyway, the creature you see above you is straight from my imagination. It uses that blue-tipped protrusion on the top of its head to catch rainwater, and the sack at the back of its head to store it. The "back legs" are for defense, but also protect it if it falls backwards or wants to sit. Instead of blinking, it retracts its eye back into the socket where it is re-wetted. It took me forever to color in Adobe PhotoDeluxe, but I'm pretty happy with how it came out. Next time, though - I think I'll use a pen and colored pencils (ugh...my wrist...).
What a wonderfully fantastic day today has been!
Technically it's tomorrow
7-26-02
Well today went well. I had a nice lumpy bowl of malt-o-meal (when they say "gradually add" they mean it) while watching Arthur. Then I did some computer stuff (mostly going through other people's art at YNA) and then I started to draw. Jeanie knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to go swim in the pool. I didn't feel hot, but I knew I would be if I went outside. And it sounded like fun. The water was sorta luke-warm, but it felt good. We swam around and talked about swimming and dancing. Then I went to work! I learned a lot about being a cashier and how to do many other things, but I still have a lot to learn. There are a lot of sandwiches there! I nearly gave back the wrong amount of change at one point, but since I was counting it back (22...23...24...25, then 75 makes ten and ten makes twenty...) I caught myself. It was good that that was the only time it happend and that I caught my mistake, but it was bad that I did it right in front of a boss. Oh well. He seemed nice as time wore on. He asked about Montana and my family and stuff, so then I felt more relaxed about things. It's nicer than a lot of jobs I've had because they don't mind if you talk when things aren't moving too fast. So I finished up after seven and rode home, trying to avoid the thorny tree branches and unobservant drivers. I played with Tari online and introduced her to the comic, "Red Meat" (This may not be a good thing - if you read too much of it you get a little sick). Then I got off the computer and finished this picture. It's kind of an experiment to see if I can draw like the other YNA people if I really want to. I think I like it, but I think I will try to keep my own style (whatever that may be). I think I may get a few Hightlight of the Day comics out of work, but I don't work again 'til Monday. I stayed up until 4:30 finishing this picture. I'm just stubborn when it comes to that sort of thing...I feel like I have to do it all in one sitting (not sure why). So anyway, I'd better get some sleep before I have to wake up. Goodnight.
Whew!
7-28-02
Well, I slept in very late Saturday and got about 5 hours in before I couldn't sleep anymore. Ky came over and we talked about maybe being roommates and ate the dutch chocolate cake I made. She brought chocolate icing so that made it even better. After she left, I got online and found that one of my favorite artists - Boxcutter, commented on my last pciture! Glee! He suggested that I try using the entire 14x17 sheet of paper instead of cutting it into fourths. So I spent the rest of the day drawing this picture. I called my mom to wish her a happy birthday and then called my sis in Kansas City. She advised me on how to talk to the local newspaper about being a free-lance artist for them.
Then today I went to church and Ky suggested that she stay the night tonight so we can see how well we get along and because it'd be fun. I agreed and then Jess - the girl who drove me to church, drove us both to Applebees where most of the college group went for lunch. I had no money whatsoever so I ordered water when my turn came around. Isaac said he wouldn't let me not eat anything so he bought me an oriental salad that was quite delicious. Nice guy, eh? Then I went home and finished my picture and now I have to get my newsletter out and clean up before Ky comes. Work is tomorrow and I finally got my check from my short-lived Target job. Life is good.
The "Bright Side" of the Valley of the Sun
7-30-02
As I was biking home from work, I caught a whiff of something honey-sweet inbetween the exhaust, cigarette smoke and decay. I found that the smell was eminating from the flowers that grew between the thorn bushes that grab at me every time I ride through. I took a sample of both the good and the bad, thinking there had to be some sort of metaphor here about how there are some good aspects to Arizona amidst its hideous qualities. I scanned the thorns and the flower so that people can see for themselves what I see nearly every day.
I had a fun day at work. I was on the register almost the whole time whereas yesterday I pretty much just handed out sandwiches and smiled pretty. I asked Eric and Vicky what kind of dog/cat they would be (so I can draw them properly in my comic) yesterday. Today Vicky asked me if I would draw her dead brother for her. I said I would, but I'm sort of afraid that I might do him injustice. She is bringing a better picture of him for me tomorrow and the radio station is also coming over tomorrow to the Sub shop so it might be crowded and overwhelming. We'll see. Music Dave came and visited me at work and wanted to eat a sandwich, but couldn't because he'd just come from the dentist where they drilled his tooth. Ouch. His mouth was all numb and he had a hard time saying his "K"s and "C"s. He invited me to come play hockey with him and some others tonight (minus the ice, skates, and padding). I said okay and so I should probably go get ready.
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