August Part II
Jo is a Klutz
8-16-02
This is the sort of nonsense you get when you draw at 2 A.M. in the morning. Kids, don't try this at home.
My one single first ever library book became overdue today because neither of my other two calls would go through yesterday and the day before. Now I owe 30 cents. Boo. And I haven't even read it yet. I did read more Crime and Punishment though, and am still enjoying it, though I did put it down to swim in the twilight and call my Grandma and Uncle.
Vicky has offered me $30 to do a picture of her daughter, and I agreed. The coffee shop boss lady is rumored to be interested in an art exhibit, but has not scheduled any specific time. I stopped by the coffee shop after work today and Alex (aka the coffee guy) told me that the boss was interested, but not committed. Then he touched my shoulder like there was something on it and when I looked he poked my nose. I saw that there was something wrong with my sleeve and fixed it (the edge was folded up), and I guess it looked like I was dusting away the place he touched. His coworker remarked that I gave him a "don't touch me" look. I didn't argue and said I could always throw my lemonade at him if it came down to it. Then I left a little disgruntled because of the gallery news.
Earlier today I took an order for one of the dirtiest men I've ever met. His hands were absolutely black with filth. How he could stand to have such dirty hands is beyond me...let alone greasy long hair and bad teeth. I also took another guy's order and Paul wondered if he was drunk because of how "loopy" he was acting. Then I tried to think of all the different ways to say someone's drunk and asked around and we all came up with 12:
drunk
bombed
smashed
faded
wasted
sodden
boozed
three sheets to the wind
blitzed
loaded
sloshed
liquored-up
After the lunch rush I saw that we needed cucumber sauce and pepperchinis so I went to the back and grabbed a tray. Then I dumped three off the edge by accident and one cracked open and splattered all over. I said, "Whoooooops!" and put the tray down then ran out to grab some paper towels and slipped on all the meal on the floor. After picking myself up, I laughed at how clumsy I was. It's the first time I've actually fallen to the floor on the meal. It's slick stuff!
When I got home, I tried to call the loan people, but the answer was automatic. It said, "Sally Mae" and asked for my social security number. I punched it in and it said it couldn't help me because open hours were over or something (even though it was 6:30 here) and hung up. Then I worried that it had been a trick to get my social security number, but then I thought, "how would they know that I was applying for the Sally Mae loan then?" and decided it hadn't been a trick. But now I have to wait for Monday do find out. I will worry then, but not over the weekend. I will enjoy my time off and make cookies and maybe get shoes and socks and a bike pump (and maybe picture frames) since I got paid today.
Jo is an Addict
8-17-02
I feel rotten because instead of drawing, reading, baking cookies, or reading Galations I was on the internet writing. I could have turned it off...told everyone that I had to go. It wouldn't have mattered, but I didn't! I need to go to internet junkies anonymous or something.
I did get to talk to Jake, however...and the Annoyed Cockroach. Jake is leaving for the big city to visit our eldest sister, Meesh, tomorrow at 11 am. He is riding the bus. I hope he stays safe.
Work was relaxed and pretty slow and that was nice. There was this one guy who had a shrew of a girlfriend. I felt sorry for him. He seemed like a nice guy - when he got a drink from the cooler two juices popped out at him after he took out his one and instead of leaving them like most people do, he put them back and laughed when I said, "Watch out - it's booby-trapped!" Maybe his girlfriend was just having a bad day.
So I can't really think of anything more to say except that Craig wants to be a police man and has the experience and everything, but has been thwarted by the system too many times and is disillusioned.
"Craig? Who are these people???" You might ask. I will provide a more detailed character list in the future, but it's 1:30 am now and I need to sleep. So later it will have to be.
OH yeah - four more drunk words:
pissed and debauche (from Arkady)
tanked (from The Shadow)
and plastered (from me!)
Yummy!
8-18-02
I made cookies! Yay! The day was rather long and uneventful until late afternoon when a man called me on the phone. He had a thick Spanish accent and I could hardly understand him. It's happened before. I think some Mexican person had my number before me or something. So I tell this guy he has the wrong number and sorry and that it's happened before and he keeps talking to me...asks me my name and I told him because I thought it couldn't hurt since he had no idea who I was anyway and was probably just trying to be polite, but then he KEPT talking to me. He told me (from what I could decipher) that he was staying at a hotel, had family here, and his parents were from California and India. He's in Phoenix on business and "wants to take me to a restaraunt." I say, "What?? Why? You don't even know who I am!" and he says, "I like the sound of your voice!" And then he starts asking me whether he can call me back and I keep asking why and he says "I don' know...pleeeeease?" And I say, "NO." and he says "pleeeeeeeeeeease!" and I try to reason with him by saying, "I dont' go places with strangers. It is not wise." but he just ignores that and keeps begging me to let him call again pleeeeeeeeeeease! Pleeeeeeease! Augh! After saying "I have to go." About a dozen times he finally says, "I'll call you at four tomorrow. Goodbye baby..."
*Shriek!!!!*
Help me I've got a phone stalker and I'm too polite to tell him off!
Uncognizant Voo-dooism
8-19-02
Okay that's weird. Suddenly, right after I start thinking of words for "drunk" I find myself involved with drunk people...
My day at work began on a sour note. A very snappishly mean man was impatient with me and let me know it, then he ate in and left a big mess. I went to clean tables and found that he'd left all his garbage and basket and cup and everything out and crumbs and pieces of lettuce and such were scattered all over the place like confetti. It was as though a three-year-old had sat there instead of a middle-aged jerk. I worked all the rest of the day until 2 then went home and straightened out my loan thing (they only needed to know what school I was attending! Yay!). I went back at 4 and gave The Shadow and Paul cookies. I talked about playing hockey again tomorrow night and asked The Shadow if he wanted to come and he said, after thinking a little,
"No."
I wasn't sure why, but oh well. So then it was already getting dark (it seems to be getting dark earlier than before) when work was over and he gave me a ride home and we talked about sunsets and mountains and beautiful places to live.
Here's where the drunk guy comes in. See - a few months ago when I was new to Phoenix, I met a fellow at the bus stop and discovered that he lived in the same apartment complex as me. He was nice and we talked about maybe finding someone who could give me a ride to school (like another student). He'd asked for my number to call me and I was a sucker and gave it to him out of politeness. He's called me maybe three times since then, but I was always in the middle of talking to someone long distance on my cell or something and couldn't chat. Tonight, however, I was online trying to kill a mouse, and he called. He wanted to come over and watch a video. I said, "No...I don't feel comfortable with that." So then he wanted to go for a walk and admitted that he'd had a few drinks and was "mellow". I said no again because I didn't want to walk around with a partially drunk guy I'd only met once before. He kept wanting to meet and talk though. He talked about his life and his music and then I said fine, I could meet him down at the benches in twenty minutes and that I would carry my stun gun with me. So I hung up and tried to kill the mouse again (unsuccessfully I might add) and then after twenty minutes of this I heard a knock at my door. It was Jason and *whew!* did he ever smell like sweet alcohol! He was even carrying some with him. He said that someone had told him which apartment was mine, and I told him I was in the middle of something and asked if he would wait longer. He said he'd sit outside my door, but I convinced him to go back down to the benches. After shoving the mouse down a well with spikes on the bottom, throwing a boulder on his head, pouring boiling oil on him and sealing the well closed, I decided he had to be dead and went out to meet the drunken Jason musician (Don't worry - it's all just an online game. I'm not really sadistic and evil to mice). So I sat and listened to him talk about how he's been an alcoholic since he was 18 and how once he broke into a mall when he was drunk and got thrown in jail for it. I found out that he only calls me when he's drunk (don't that make me feel special!) Then I listened to him talk about how he was asked by a record company for the rights to his music and he refused, how he grew up in Minnesota, and how if he weren't partially drunk he'd play me music on his guitar and sing. I asked him if he brought the CD of his music he'd mentioned on the phone and I guess he forgot, because then he wanted me to come back to his apartment so he could get the CD. After I put it off a bit, I finally caved because he said I didn't have to come in and that he'd give me space and that I could zap him with my stun gun if I had to. When we went there he wanted me to come in, insisting that he was s nice guy and wouldn't hurt me, but I refused and stayed at the bottom of the stairs. He said he'd leave the door open and he did, then wandered around inside for a bit. He stuck his head out a moment later and said, "I won't hurt you I promise! You can come up!" I said, "Just grab that CD!" and then he said "Oh YEAH!" like he'd forgotten why he was there. He found some CDs and some "ice tea", then he walked me back to my apartment and I stopped at the stairs and said I would listen to them and he could go home. But he wanted to see my reaction to his music. He said he'd stand in the door and not come in. I went over this several times and he said that he wouldn't move beyond the door if I didn't want him to and so I said "okay" because I can understand wanting to see your audience's reaction to your art, being an artist myself. So I let him stand in the doorway, and then he shut the door and sat in front of my door and sang with the music while I sat in my chair, gripping my stun gun. He saw my clay dragon and asked if he could go over and look at it and I said "No, I'll bring it to you" and so I did and then finally I let him move to look at the X-men posters on my cupboards. Then I made him leave. I invited him to hockey because I thought it would be a safe thing to do with him and he left the video "Jerry Maguire" with me so I could watch it sometime. I think he's a nice guy, but I think he's looking for more than a friend and I am not.
Then to top the night off, I found that the mouse didn't die (slaps forehead).
New drunk words:
Loaded (from Becky)
Hammered (from Me!)
How to say Rootbeer in German: Wurzelbier
Minor Details Congeal
8-21-02
Well I was happy all morning (despite the return of the chronic sour-puss) because I had such a blast last night playing with the Roach online. I know it sounds pathetic, but I've not had such a delightful time role playing in a long long time. To see the plot unfold and surprises pop up unexpectedly right before my eyes and then to have it all work out was just so...satisfying. I suppose movie directors might be able to sympathize. They have to deal with character development and laying out the scene visually. Make the audience like the characters and then pull the story into an edge-of-the-seat climax. To get it just the way you want it done and done well, is very nice. Okay enough I-am-a-role-playing-nerd spew.
As I was on my way to work, I discovred that one of the hiking boots I wear all the time is literally falling apart. I knew it had a crack from before (I believe I mentioned water seeping into it back when I was in Montana talking about how I hate wet socks), but I didn't know how bad it had become. The sole of my boot is in pieces, kept together by the material on top. It's mighty uncomfortable, but I plan on getting new ones very very soon with the help of Jeanie.
I had fun at work today as compared to yesterday when I felt only queasy and ready to pass out (I came home early and watched Shrek then rested up instead of going to hockey). I had many a good laugh - especially when this lady came up to my register and ordered a "half-inch" sandwich. I said, "A...half inch?" and she said "Yes, the half-inch." and I said, "You mean the seven-and-a-half-inch?" and she finally realized what she'd said and laughed. I laughed too, then held up my fingers, pretending there was a dinky half-inch sandwich in them and pointed angrilly at it saying, "You forgot the tomato on this!" And we both laughed hysterically. It was great. Then later there was a wreck right outside at the intersection. Some cars got pretty crumpled. The Shadow said it happens all the time at that intersection. Crazy Phoenix drivers. I believe it.
Jeanie called me during my two hour break when I was at home and was very excited about volunteering at an animal shelter. I was excited for her because it did sound fun. At work, later, she came in and was very upset - almost in tears. She couldn't find the stinkin' place and had driven for over an hour looking. She was so bummed...I wanted to console her more, but customers kept coming and I had to take their orders. She ended up ordering a chicken sandwich because she was hungry and had given up on finding the shelter in time. I think that cheered her up some, because she said it was really good.
Then later in the evening, this guy ordered two sandwiches. A club and a special. The club comes with ham, turkey, and cheese, and the special comes with three different Italian meats and cheese. Then he asks for them to be doubled (this is a lot of meat and cheese, people) and added LOTS of mayo, and BACON on both. "Good Lord!" Carol said, "This man is going to die of a heart attack!" and I agreed. When I held the sandwiches they were like bars of lead. I could hardly imagine that in my stomach. Man - it'd be like biting into a block of lard! Straight to the cardiac vessels...
When the man came, we were closing and he went to the bathroom before he left. I half expected him to keel over and die in there (he seemed short of breath). He didn't, but he did leave quite a mess. It didn't make Carol happy since she's the one who cleans the bathrooms.
So then we were all cleaning things and The Shadow was sweeping and Carol was wiping things down as was I. Carol smelled something bad - "something spoiled" and started searching for the origin. The Shadow muttered, "Change the vodka, it's Bob." and vanished. I thought about it a few minutes while Carol reached under the counter and dumped a mysterious pan of liquid down the sink (so that's what they keep down there!), then decided that that couldn't have been what he said. I asked Carol but she wasn't sure. Later I asked The Shadow and he said that he'd actually said, "I'll change the mop head tomorrow." How on earth I got what I did out of that I will never know. I laughed my head off over it though.
The picture is kind of an inside joke today, originating from the Roach. He says I need to grow a backbone and stop being such a plush toy when it comes to drunks and phone stalkers. He says I should be assertive. I agree. Next time I'm pursued by a drunken stalker I'll tell him to go stick his pollex in his oxter.
How to Frustrate Jo at Work
8-23-02
Sorry for not posting yesterday. I had no excuse, really except that I put it off until it was too late (until I was nodding off at my keyboard). I was very happy yesterday because I got new shoes finally. They're light and white and...very very...er...practical. Yes, they are practical shoes.
I felt like a total incompetent Wednesday because Becky asked me to remove one of the soup labels from the sign on the wall and I couldn't get it out. Finally she said she'd get Paul to do it for me, so I went to walk back behind the counter, missed turning the handle, and ran smack into the door.
Then yesterday Jeanie took me to Walmart so I could get a bike pump and a surge protector, shoes, and other things I needed, and this guy said, "Nice pants!" As I walked by in Walmart. I immediately assumed my fly was open or I had some embarrassing hole in them somewhere, but I didn't. I can't for the life of me figure out why he'd say that except that maybe he thought they were too small for me since they're capries. They're not so spectacular as to deserve a real complement.
The chronic sour puss returned yesterday and left another big mess again. It really annoyed me. Next time he comes, I'm going to try to get someone else to take his order because he's always seething with malice.
We have french fries in our menu pictures and I don't know why. We don't have french fries - only chips. It's strange.
Yesterday I found that MOBY is coming to the valley. I was really excited until I found out that it was that very day...at seven. If I were to ever go to any concert in my life - I'd like to see Moby I think. I've never been to one, and I like his stuff a lot. Too bad I missed it...now he's in Japan or something. The sunset on the way home was beyond description. Waves of whipped pink and orange clouds...it was so shockingly colorful and brilliant. I like Arizona sunsets, but that's about it so far...oh - and the lizards are cool. They run really really fast - like little speed demons. And they usually run before you can get close enough to even see them. The birds around here are nervous too. In Montana you could tromp right past a magpie and it'd only look at you. The grackles and doves here scatter at the slightest suggestion that you might be moving anywhere near them. Maybe the homeless people here try to eat them.
Fred was really mad this morning because the newspaper had a story on how a baby was sent home with its junky mother even after it had traces of cocaine in its system, and died (of course). Arizona has no laws to protect babies. Crack babies are sent home every day with their addict mothers. I agree, something should be done to prevent that. I would also like to do something about abortion, but I'm not certain that standing in front of a clinic would be effective. Maybe I can affect people through my art...
I served two deaf guys again today and they wrote what they wanted on napkins. Before they could go, I wrote and asked one how I can learn sign language (because I really want to). He gave me some names of colleges and a web address, but it's in Chinese. I don't know what to think of it (he wasn't Chinese either). I don't think I can learn sign language while I'm attending my university, but at least now I know where to look (at least - the colleges).
A Do-Nothing Day
8-24-02
I made little bitty french toasts...and ate them. Then I went to work. At one point I dropped a stack of wrapped napkins on the floor and asked Paul if it was okay to use them still. He said, "Just give them a quick rinse-off under the faucet and they'll be fine." I laughed. Paul has a good sense of humor. I got out a little early because we ran out of bread and the kids were running all over the place. Paul and Craig just wanted to get out of there, so they said I didn't have to finish cleaning everything. It felt weird leaving things dirty. I called Mom when I got home and talked for a while as I washed a week's worth of piled-up dishes. Mertle is going out into the world to live on his own tomorrow with something like $150 in his pocket. Good luck, buddy...you're gonna need it.
I had a nice conversation with the Annoyed Cockroach. He tried to describe himself so I could try to draw him. I changed it three times before he ran out of specific details that would make it more realistic. He's not how I imagined him, but then again, no one I've met online is like I imagine them. Once I dreamt that I met Arkady and she was a floating dialogue box...
This is How I Felt Today...
8-25-02
Missed church because I couldn't find a ride on time. Then I wasted away in front of my computer screen. I drew a nice dinosaur, this crazy nag, and a coyote. So I was productive in one way. Sort of.
I heated up leftover macaroni and cheese and then went to college group where I snacked voraciously on chips and grapes (perhaps I should have eaten something for supper). I feel kinda bummed because so many people are starting school tomorrow, even though I'm not. The depression is contagious I guess. Time is running out...August is drawing to a close. It's hard to believe how fast this month has gone.
I keep wondering whether something is going to happen on September 11th. I guess I have plenty of time to think about it 'til then.
Yes I am a Girl
8-28-02
Why is it that guys think that girls would like an absolute stranger to touch them? Am I just some sort of weird-o freak girl who's out of the loop or what? Just because I invite a guy over to watch a movie with me and my neighbor doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend or something, dangling his arm over my shoulders or...touching my toe even. It's like there's this implication or something like I have some SIGN on my forehead that reads, "Touch me I'm a Girl!" Grrrrr...You know, I was probably sending out all these 'signals' that I have no clue about like when I said "You can sit on the futon if you like." Perhaps in another foreign dating language this means, "Come sit near me and put your arm around me I'm a lonely chick!" Whereas in my language it means, "Sit where it's more comfortable. The floor is hard." Good grief can't I just have a guy here who's a friend? Someone I can sit and watch X-men with without having to be so paranoid as to huddle up in a ball, gripping the remote like some sort of weapon?
[Continuing rant]
Or maybe the sign reads, "DESPERATE!!!". This guy is probably used to some highschool dating system that I've avoided like a leprous anthropophagus. I hate that people have this idea branded into their brains that "boyfriend" is different than "friend". I mean - this guy is ready to hold my hand and hug me and he doesn't know a thing about me! Just that "I'm a girl". He doesn't know that I'm a role playing fanatic. He doesn't know that I have a dark morbid side. He doesn't know that I have four siblings and grew up in the south. He doesn't know that I hate hominy and canned peas. He doesn't know that I am NOT a touchy-feely person. He doesn't know that I almost passed out in the snow while tracking mountain lions and hares. He doesn't know that I used to be a complete nerd, danced to the Beach Boys as a kid, or had a cat die in my arms. This guy knows nothing about me, yet he's assuming that I want to get close to him simply because "he's a nice guy". I am not a casual dater! I don't even date! I don't want to date! If I'm going to see a movie - it's because I want to see the freakin' movie!
Okay...I'm done.
[END RANT]
Hear Me Roar
8-29-02
Right, well...nothing really new today. There's one thorn branch that keeps whipping me and scraping me as I ride through it on my way to work. I will have to bring scissors again I suppose (sigh). I don't know whether it grew really really fast or what, but it's unavoidable and I'd rather not be bled by a wild thorn branch. Yeah, that's pretty boring. I forgot to eat again. I remembered that I forgot once I returned to work, but by then it was too late. I talked to Paul about how city people are mean and he said that some people just have different ways of expressing stress (or something like that). Three interesting men came in today - one with a heavy Welch accent, one with a beard and a hat with a feather sticking up off it, and one who was so tired, he forgot to pay. They were all together and the woman who was in line after them was kinda rude, I thought. I asked if it was "for here or to go?" and she said, "I'm not going to eat here with these crazy people." and then before she left she said, "Hope that they leave soon...". They weren't crazy though (I don't think...). Just a little strange. The one with the beard and feather asked for "vampire bread" when he was making his order and it took a moment for me to realize he meant garlic bread. I thought that was funny.
So yesterday at work I showed Carol my pictures and she said my stuff is good, but I seem to have a strange fascination with monsters. "Where are all the teddy bears?" She asked. I flipped the page to my plush one-eyed Vizon and she said, "Yes, he is cute. But why did you put that black vest on him? It makes him look like a thug!" I laughed all the way home.
Jake is home safe from the big city and Mertle is moved out. As far as I know, both are doing okay, but it sounded like Mertle was a little perturbed about being all alone for the first time in his life. Homesick already? Bah. I did alright...after only a month of traumatization. Things are lookin' up! Woo!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
8-30-02
4:45 A.M.
Curse my inflexible compulsion to finish what I start! I'm going to crash and burn tomorrow...
This is for the Annoyed Cockroach who, incidently, had all his CDs stolen and his player gutted from his car today...er yesterday (GAH!). I wanted to get it done so he could see it first thing in the morning, but darn it, I stayed up so late that he is in school now. Ironic. Anyway, I'm still happy with it even though I am on the verge of a coma! Yay! I drew Spiderman! *Thud*
8:30 A.M.
My alarm plays a radio station instead of an insistant (and ignorable) buzz or beep. I found myself wondering, "When the heck is this song going to end???" because it just kept going and going and so finally it annoyed me enough to wake up. I discovered that it's non-stop 80's weekend. No wonder. They all sound basically the same. I ate left-over Ramen noodles re-heated (yum!), added a bit more shading to the comic, then staggered out the door to work.
6:00 P.M.
I need a nap! But not until I go grocery shopping with Jeanie. I think we will look for a Venom action figure and return my Roald Dahl library book too. At work Carol told me that she thinks that I "think too deeply". If that's true, there's not much I can do about it, heh heh. I can't help noticing the details around me and wondering about tnem.
I'm so happy - Carol let me take COOKIES home! Now I ate too many! But at least that will keep me from over-spending at the grocery store. I think...
9:41 P.M.
Well I still ended up spending more than $30 on food stuff when I only wanted to get butter, shampoo, brown sugar, juice and cheese. Phooey. I am in a zombie-like sate and may vocabuilary is bgoing foast. Spelling errors galoer. but I don't really care at this point because I just want to sleep. Roach was happy with my Spiderman plaigerism - er..."fan art" so that made me glad. And now this day is over. Goodnight. Oh drat...I was supposed to draw a card for Jeanie...must do that. Then sleep...Why do I always forget things? Stupid brain.
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