Doom's Supreme Acts

    Our Supreme Act this month comes from the pages of Fantastic Four. The Fantastic Four are in a crisis (I know, they are always in a crisis of some form or another, but this crisis far out shadows that of bank-robbing Skrulls). The life of the Invisible Girl Woman is at stake. No, she didn't catch crabs from Namor (I'm sorry, I couldn't pass that up). The Invisible woman may die giving birth. Now, I know your saying, "Hey, wait. Reed just went to the Negative Zone, got the Cosmic Control Rod, saved her life, and Franklin was born without a hitch. What does this have to do with Doom?" Well, if you would stop interrupting me, I could tell you that we are not talking about Fantastic Four Annual #6, we are talking about Fantastic Four vol.3 #54. God, sometimes you people are so impatient. 

    The story goes like this, Sue is about to pop out another Richards thanks to her son, Franklin (that sounds super gross, but it's true), but due to her lack of being able to produce children without killing herself with cosmic build-up, she might die. Reed, just as he did in FF annual #6, freaks out and runs away (typical). Johnny is left with Sue because, without his flame (he lost it), he basically is worthless. Well, Reed is nowhere to be found (he got himself and Ben locked up by Senso and the Hidden Ones), and Sue is about to pop. So Johnny calls on the only person he knows that can save his big sis. You guessed it... House, M.D. Actually, he called Doctor Doom, but I couldn't resist throwing in a little TV. reference that will be outdated in a few months.

     Doom, the world's greatest ruler slash midwife, comes to Johnny's aid. He uses science, a little black magic, some homemade herbal remedies, and before you know it, *pop* we have ourselves a baby (let's just hope that this one doesn't bring us another Heroes Reborn storyline).

    The best part about this storyline is that Doom succeeds where Reed fails. Doom also gets to rub it in Reed's face. Not only does Doom save Reed's baby when Reed couldn't, Doom also names her (Valeria; After his soon to be skinless childhood love interest) and restores Johnny's flame (which Reed also couldn't do). Doom pulled a freakin' pimpslap hat trick (Pimpslap Hat Trick? That would be a good name for a band). Now, every time Reed looks at his daughter, he will have to remember that Doom succeeded where he failed. With Reed's ego, I'm surprised he didn't just throw the baby out a window. Which actually might have been a good idea. Considering that Doom uses Valeria as a porthole to spy on the Fantastic Four (which ultimately leads to the scarring of Reed's face and visit to Hell for Franklin). God, I love Doom.

*Isn't it great how Doom can make his mask smile when he wants to.

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