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A Very Dreamy Christmas (A Luna/Lurker Steve Production)


[Pan over the Dreaming. It is snowing. Various and sundry recognizable DREAMS are making ready for the holidays. Zoom in on Castle Gate and GATEKEEPERS.]

Wyvern: "I love this time of year."

Hippogriff: "The air gets that special feeling..."

Gryphon: "And the whole world seems bright..."

All Gatekeepers: "It's CHRISTMAS TIME!"

[Castle door opens and MORPHEUS walks out of the castle, looking particularly angst-ridden. He looks out into the distance.]

Wyvern: "My lord?"

Hippogriff: "My liege?"

Gryphon: "How fare thee on this Christmas Eve?"

Morpheus: [sighs] "I care not for Christmas, gatekeepers."

[MORPHEUS walks away into the snow. GATEKEEPERS gasp]

All Gatekeepers: "How can this be?"

[MATTHEW flies out of the castle and perches near the gate. LUCIEN follows him out and stands in the doorway.]

Matthew: "What's shakin', guys?"

Wyvern: "Our lord seems troubled."

Matthew: "So what else is new?"

Hippogriff: "You do not understand, Matthew..."

Gryphon: "He has said... that he does not care about Christmas!"

Matthew: "That's the boss for you. He can never enjoy himself."

Lucien: "I'm afraid that's just his way. He never celebrates holidays, especially not when he's in a dark mood."

Gryphon: "But that's so sad..."

Hippogriff: "The Dreaming is a part of him. When he is sad, none of us can be truly happy..."

Wyvern: "There must be SOME way to cheer him up for Christmas..."

[Cut to MORPHEUS, walking in the snow. The Houses should be visible in the background. CAIN and ABEL pass by. CAIN is carrying a wrapped box.]

Abel: "B-b-but it's not Christmas Day yet."

Cain: "Just open the present, gully-guts."

Abel: "Th-this time I KNOW it's going to explode..."

Cain: "Of course it isn't, you numb-skulled, pin-feathered..."

Abel: [pauses]"W-why does Lord Morpheus look so s-sad? I-is something wrong?"

Cain: [pauses] "How can you tell? Isn't he ALWAYS depressed?"

[Zoom in on MORPHEUS as music starts]


"No Christmas Joy For Me/Let's Cheer Up The Boss"

"Every night in dreams I hear
The songs of humankind
But when I try to sing myself
I feel left behind
While everyone is celebrating
Here I am alone
While children's hearts are full of love
Mine is made of stone
The mortals are rejoicing, but it is plain to see
There will be no Christmas joy for me...."

"S-s-something's surely wrong,
I w-w-wonder why
Our lord's C-Christmas spirits do not lift..."

"He doesn't want to celebrate,
And he won't even try.
Now, blubber-bottom, open up your gift!"

[Cut to Gate, where GATEKEEPERS, MATTHEW, and LUCIEN are standing]

"I hate to see our lord so down
On such a special night
There must be something we can do
To make his spirits bright!"

"We can't let him mope 'round the place
On the best day of the year
Let's make a plan to give the boss
Some magic Christmas cheer!"

[Cut to MORPHEUS in the snow]

"The holidays are meaningless,
When you're older than the Earth
No matter what the mortals think,
I don't see what it's worth
They'll decorate their houses, and decorate their trees
But there will be no Christmas joy for me...."

[Cut to Gate]

"Let's cheer up the boss tonight!"
Wyvern: "But how can it be done?"
Hippogriff: "He doesn't like the holiday!"
Gryphon: "He won't have any fun!"

"What better way to lift his mood
Than with a Christmas tree?"

"And I know where to set one up -
In my Library!"

All: [shouted] "YEAH!"

"Let's cheer up the boss tonight,
Oh, won't he be surprised
We'll keep it secret till it's done
And ready for his eyes!
We'll cheer up the boss tonight,
If we work as a team...
It'll be a better Christmas
Than his wildest dreams!"

[Music out. Fade to black.]

[Fade in on Library of Dreams. LUCIEN, MATTHEW, CAIN, and ABEL are gathered together, making plans to surprise MORPHEUS]

Matthew: "We’ll put lots of lights on it, and a star on top - and someone should keep an eye on the boss and make sure he doesn't find out..."

Lucien: "I'll go, but it won't be easy to keep this a secret for long."

[LUCIEN exits.]

Matthew: [continuing] "And we gotta put presents underneath the tree..."

Cain: "That reminds me, bubble-brains, you haven’t opened your present yet!"

Abel: "B-but Cain, w-we don't have much t-time to get this t-tree done!"

Cain: "Now see here, you namby-pamby ninny-"

[MERVYN enters, dragging a very large undecorated Christmas tree, followed by ABUDAH, who is hauling a wagon stacked with boxes of various Christmas decorations]

Mervyn: "Here's the tree." [He drops the tree on the floor] "You got the lights an' stuff, Abudah?"

Abudah: "Ayuh."

Matthew: "I gotta give you credit, Merv. That's a pretty nice tree."

Mervyn: "'Course it is. Now I'm outta here - gonna have a nice sandwich, maybe have a drink or two, and get some sleep finally. Good luck with your tree."

Matthew: "Merv, you can't leave - we'll need your help with the decorations!"

Mervyn: "You gotta be kidding me. Next you'll be asking me to make a goddamn goose for your Christmas dinner!"

Matthew: "Come on, you gotta help out or the whole plan will be ruined."

Mervyn: [groans] "That's all I ever hear. How come I gotta spend my whole Christmas holiday up here just because His Angstiness is in a bad mood again?"

[Music starts]


"(Why Do I Have To Set Up This Tree) If It Isn't For Me"

"They say Christmas is a time for sharing
A time for love and joy and cheer
I don't know why I should bother caring
When I'm the one who does the work 'round here!
Mervyn, do this - Mervyn, do that -
Take your Christmas and stick it in your hat!
Mervyn, go here - Mervyn, go there -
You all act like I'm supposed to care!
And it's not fair, and it's not right
So can you tell me why
Why do I have to set up this tree
If it isn't for me?

Matthew: [spoken] "Mervyn, Christmas is about something important-"

Mervyn: [spoken]"Yeah, SLEEP!" sings:
"They say Christmas is for everyone
But not a Pumpkinhead like me
While all you guys are face-down in the eggnog
I'll be setting up this stupid tree!
Mervyn, go there - Mervyn, come here -
Take your Christmas and stick it in your ear!
Mervyn, fix that - Mervyn, fix this -
I get stuck cleaning up your mess!

Matthew: [spoken] "Come on, Merv... Even you gotta have some kind of Christmas spirit. It's supposed to be a day of caring, and love, and charity."

Mervyn: [spoken] "Love and charity my ass! It's just another day where I get to do all the work." [sings]

"And it's not fair, and it's not right
So can you tell me why
Why do you do this to me?
Why do I have to set up this tree
If it isn't for me?!"

[Music out.]

Cain: "Isn't Lord Morpheus going to hear all this blasted singing?"

Matthew: "Look, Mervyn, we're trying to do something nice. To give the boss a good holiday for once. Are you going to help out, or are you just going to be a pain in the ass?"

Mervyn: "You think you got lumbar pain? You didn't have to haul that tree all the way up here!" [MATTHEW squawks sharply at MERVYN, who sighs.] "I guess I don't got a choice, huh?."

Matthew: "No, you don't. Come on, let's get started."

Mervyn: "What's this 'we' stuff, bird? I'm the only one doing heavy lifting. Pass me the box with the lights, Abudah."

Abudah: "Ayuh."

[LUCIEN is standing outside the Library doors, looking around nervously to see if MORPHEUS is approaching. As he looks down the hall, Morpheus appears behind him.]

Morpheus: "You seem nervous, Lucien."

[LUCIEN jumps]

Lucien: "Nervous, my lord? How is that?"

Morpheus: "Are you looking for someone, Lucien?"

Lucien: "No, my lord - I mean - that is, yes. Yes, that's right, I'm looking for someone!"

Morpheus: "I see. Then I will leave you to your meeting."

[MORPHEUS goes to open the Library door. LUCIEN steps in front of him.]

Lucien: "Wait! My lord, I was looking for you!"

Morpheus: "What do you need of me, Lucien?"

Lucien: "I - well, I wanted to ask you - er... the Library... it needs... I was wondering whether you thought..."

Morpheus: "You are trying my patience. Make your request."

Lucien: "I - er - my lord, please don't go into the Library right now."

Morpheus: [annoyed] "You would deny me entrance to a section of my own castle?"

Lucien: "Of course not, my lord, but [sudden inspiration] - well, we're out of space, and there are new volumes coming in at a greater rate every day, and it's a bit messy right now. I'm still trying to put it in order, and -"

Morpheus: "It is not like you, Lucien, to leave the Library in disarray. I would like to see the problem for myself."

[MORPHEUS pushes past LUCIEN and into the Library. Across the room stands the Christmas tree, fully decorated and magnificent. MATTHEW is flying up to the top of the tree to put the finishing touch, the star, on the top. MERVYN, CAIN, and ABEL are standing nearby watching and admiring the tree.]

Mervyn: [As Matthew places the star] "That's right, bird, take the glory work."

Abel: "L-L-L-L-L..."

Cain: "Spit it out, flabby-face."

Abel: "Lord Morpheus!"

[They turn. MATTHEW flies down and lands on ABEL's shoulder. MORPHEUS walks towards them, followed by LUCIEN.]

Morpheus: "What is the meaning of this?"

Mervyn: [sarcastically] "Well, it's about caring, and love, and charity..."

Matthew: "Shut up, Mervyn." [flies over to Morpheus’ shoulder] "Well, we knew you weren't in such a great mood, and we thought maybe, since it was Christmas and all, we'd do something to cheer you up. I guess it didn't work out."

Morpheus: "You... wanted to cheer me up?"

Matthew: "Well... yeah. You're not upset, are you?"

Morpheus: "I am... accustomed to being left to deal with my own moods. But no, Matthew, I am not upset."

Mervyn: "I told them it was a stupid idea to start with."

Morpheus: "No... No, I am pleased that you did this thing." [He looks up at the tree, his eyes sparkling. Music starts]

"Christmas Dreams Come True (Finale)"

:[same tune as first song]
"Christmas always seemed to me
A worthless holiday
But when I see what you have done,
I don't know what to say -
I never thought I'd care about
The Yuletide festival
Yet when I see this Christmas tree,
It matters after all...
I feel as if my heart is full, and it is plain to see
You have brought this Christmas joy to me..."

"The Christmas season's come to the Dreaming,
It must be heaven-sent."

"I think my brother should be the first
To open up a present..."

: [spoken] "W-well... if you p-promise it won't b-blow up...."

Cain: [shouting] "Just open it, you fatheaded booby!"

[ABEL opens the box. It explodes, and he keels over dead. Everyone laughs.]

All: [singing]
"The Christmas season's come to the Dreaming,
It's magical and new
Gathered by this Christmas tree
All our Christmas dreams have come true..."

"I'll send visions of sugarplums
To dance in children's heads...
On this wonderful Christmas Eve
Everyone shall sleep pleasantly in their beds..."

"The Christmas season's come to the Dreaming,
It's a special event."

"Even I can't deny it -
I'm feeling a touch of sentiment."

"Every year, this special time comes - [ABEL stands and rejoins the group]
It's the season of brotherly love
This time, something's better than ever -
We'll all share Christmas cheer together!
The Christmas season's come to the Dreaming,
It's magical and new,
Gathered by this Christmas tree,
All our Christmas dreams have come true
On this wonderful Christmas Eve,
All our Christmas dreams have come true!"

[music out.]

[The Christmas tree may be visible in a picture window above the gate. The ground is covered in snow, the sky is clear and starry, and the GATEKEEPERS smile at each other.]

Wyvern: "Our plan succeeded!"

Hippogriff: "We helped bring the Christmas spirit to our master!"

Gryphon: "Now the Dreaming is filled with Christmas cheer!"

[The Castle door opens. MORPHEUS, accompanied by MATTHEW and LUCIEN] walks out.]

Morpheus: "I thank you all. You have helped me recall something that I had forgotten - how valuable it is to celebrate and rejoice in caring for others."

Matthew: "Hey, it was nothing."

Mervyn: [voice from inside castle] "Yeah, 'cause I did all the work!" [Everyone laughs.]

Lucien: "I'm so glad that this has been -


Lucien: " - Exactly."

[MORPHEUS steps forward, smiling fully for the first time.]

Morpheus: "And..."

[MORPHEUS lifts his arms towards the sky. A few clouds appear, and it starts to snow again. MORPHEUS' eyes twinkle brighter than the stars.]

Morpheus: "..And to all, a good night." [BLACKOUT. END.]

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