If Only in a Lullably
by Veste Notus
Duo rolled over for the seventeenth time. He was sick and tired of not being able to get to sleep. It was just too godamn hot out. Even though Christmas was approaching, the climate control of the colony was set to be on ‘early summer’ mode, a fact that strongly irritated the Deathscythe pilot.
He’d been living on his own for some time now, separating himself from the group as a means of better understanding himself. Duo was never very ‘deep’, or so he thought.
Duo recounted many of the dreams he’d been having. He knew the hot weather was half the reason he couldn’t sleep, but his dreams… Like a splinter in his mind, they drove him mad.
Duo would wake up in a cold sweat, panting and gasping for air like a fish out of water. How long had it been since he got a *real* night’s sleep?
After tossing in bed for what seemed like hours, Duo finally got up. Looking out the window, he was unable to see the stars or moon through the musky, humid fog. He let out a sigh and rested his hot hand against the cooled window pane.
“Shinigami is restless.” he said to no one. Duo unlocked the window and opened it half way. With a swish of his braid, Duo disappeared into night, leaving everything he had behind.
Far off in the distance, an ethereal soft red glow sent shivers into the humid skies. The wind blew goodbye kisses through Duo’s abandoned window, sending papers awhirl and extinguishing the single dim candle on his night table.
Duo perched himself on the roof of his apartment, eyes hopelessly focused on that eerie glow. He was drawn to it like a fly to a light, and with unseen wings, Duo took flight from the top floor.
Duo saw the ground approach him. Duo saw his life flash before his eyes. Duo saw his world go white, and then Duo saw him.
What he was doing there, Duo would never be able to tell. If he was really there was as much a mystery to Duo as the creation of the universe. The glow Duo sought was gone, replaced by metal and a sharp cold contrast to his surroundings.
Wing held Duo’s lifeless body an instant more before its master took him in. Heero willingly took in his braided partner, seeking an answer to a newly formed question burning on his mind.
The two flew off into the bleak night. Heero found a dense forest and landed Wing. Once safe and secure, having seated Duo in Wing’s chair, Heero began his interrogation.
“Why did you do that, Duo?” Duo averted his eyes from Heero’s. Heero only took this as a further insult and thus shook the boy rather violently. “Duo! Why the hell did you do that?!”
The hurt tone didn’t quite reach Duo’s ears. Only anger. The only way Duo could see Heero was through his anger. Duo was deaf to the emotions, however subtle or conspicuous they might have been.
“Heero, I want to fly.” Heero was about to smack the smart-ass silly when he caught the seriousness in Duo’s eyes. “I want to fly far from here, where war cannot reach me.”
“You didn’t have to jump.”
“Due north, ten miles. There’s a wildfire. You responsible?” Heero gave a nod.
“Wufei too.” There was an awkward silence between the two boys.
“If I’d succeeded, would it matter?”
“What?” Heero’s eyes went wide and some indescribable emotions rushed past him. Clenching his fists until they were white knuckled, Heero gave a stoic nod. “You’re important to us, Duo.”
“For the mission?” Duo almost sang mockingly. He spun around and advanced on the Wing pilot. “If the war was over and I jumped, would it matter?”
Heero was in shock. He wanted to say ‘of course it would!’, but he knew what Duo was really asking. Did they have a purpose outside of war? If they survived, would the world accept them, or shun them? Heero turned away from Duo, unable to see the face of innocence and death much longer.
“That’s a question I wonder about myself.” he threw over his shoulder.
“We’re a lot alike.” Heero turned around in time for Duo to continue. “We act like complete opposites most of the time, but deep down,” Duo trailed a finger down Heero’s shoulder “deep down we’re the same, you and I.”
Heero had seldom seen Duo this serious, and wondered if his fall was the cause. He put a hand against Duo’s forehead to make sure he wasn’t coming down with a hallucinogenic fever.
Heero pulled his hand back the instant it touched Duo’s forehead. “You’re burning up!” Heero said startled.
“It’s hot.” came the reply.
“Baka…” Heero scurried to find his ice-water bottle that he’d been drinking from earlier. Finding it, he placed the cool bottle to Duo’s overheated forehead, swearing he could see smoke rising from it.
Duo allowed himself to be taken care of. The ice-water helped cool him, a gesture for which he was very grateful.
Soon Duo was teetering between consciousness and sleep. Heero had pulled back his chair so it was in a recline position, allowing Duo to lie down.
Heero gently stroked Duo’s hair. He hadn’t known what had come over him, but the conversation they’d just had must have awakened an overprotective aspect of his subconscious. He *had* to protect Duo, no matter what the cost.
He cared about Duo. Duo was his friend. Duo was the first and only person who made Heero feel like he too was cared about; like he too was needed. It was true. They were the same, deep down. Unfortunately, Heero was only just realizing that now.
Gently, in his softest voice, Heero hummed a song to Duo. It started meek, but grew in volume, never above a whisper. Duo’s eyes slid instantly closed and his breathing became deeper, indicating sleep.
Before drifting off completely into sleep’s abyss, Duo’s mind dimly grasped what had transpired. Heero’s sweet voice sang to him, reassuring him. Duo was not alone. The things Duo saw, the things that haunted his restless sleep… he would not have to fear them anymore. Heero was with him, and Heero would protect him. They were the same, after all.
And before blacking out into a state of relaxed unconsciousness, Duo stole one last thought – that Heero did in fact care for him, if only in a lullaby.
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