Golf
Sadly, I still own Golf in its cartridge form. To state it simply: This game blows. I have nothing against the sport of golf, even though it really isn't my thing. However, by creating this game, the programmers apparently hate golf and decided to give the sport the proverbial finger by making a game mocking all that is the sport. When you first start Animal Crossing you get a letter from Nintendo in which they give you 2 NES games to start you off. I was all excited at first, then I saw that I got Golf as one of those games. Freaking Nintendo jipped me. While my friends got sweet games like Balloon Fight and Excitebike, I got Golf. I would prefer if they had just sent me a letter that said "EAT IT LOSER" to Golf. Man, Golf. Just look at the screenshot. You get to play as a fat mario in either white or red golf attire, and you press the button 3 times, just like in all golf games, to determine a perfect swing. Half the screen is filled up with meaningless stuff I don't even understand nor does it matter. I never understand what "OUT 1" meant and the yards really don't matter as you just point your arrow on the map on the right at the hole and hope it gets there. 1 MPH wind apparently is enough to make your ball go over 3 courses and get out of bounds. And just look at the beautiful view where the golfer is standing. Even though the entire course is surrounded by woods he is apparently standing on top of a plateau in the middle of the golf course that rises above all this. And this game is pretty impossible too. I mean when my best score is 180 AFTER PLAYING THE GAME 20 TIMES, that's pretty sad. You can't even get anyone else to play with you. Honestly, I've had 3 friends say "hey lets go shoot ourselves in the face I'm tired of this game." Dear God Nintendo, why?!?
Clu Clu Land
After receiving Golf from Nintendo, I was like, ok well at least my other game should be good. But no, I end up with freaking Clu Clu Land. To be honest, I had never heard of this game until Animal Crossing in the first place, so why Nintendo would include this is beyond me. It took about 5 times playing it to figure out even what you're supposed to do in it. To start you have this little red guy with a propeller on his rear that goes around a level going in between all the little pegs to make a picture appear. You turn by holding out his arms and making him spin around the pegs. You're chased constantly by cold pricklies, or at least I assume that's what they are, and you have to shoot them with your sonic waves to turn them to statues and then ram them against the wall to kill them. The question is, What crack were the developers smoking when designing this? The pictures aren't even always decipherable. The first level is usually a heart, which is easily seen. But others aren't so easily depicted, as shown in the picture to the right. I assume thats an alien face smoking a turd, but I could be wrong. In all actuality, it ends up being a pretty fun, although difficult, game. At least its not Golf.
Donkey Kong
Ah, Donkey Kong. A game with name recognition only surpassed by Pacman. It depicts a classic struggle really. A man separated from his love by overwhelming circumstances, such as barrels, sparks, and yes even giant gorillas. Fun fact: While Donkey Kong himself may be a ruthless barrel-throwing gorilla, he at least is very environmentally aware as he makes sure that his barrels are all disposed of in a flaming oil can after he throws them! I loved this game especially when it came out on ATARI...thanks for providing an NES classic Nintendo. All in all, this game was great, until they started bastardizing it and made 5 billion sequels. In Animal Crossing, alone there are at least 4 or 5 Donkey Kong "classics." Ah well, thats what Nintendo's always been good at, milking the proverbial cow drive, even if in this case it was a monkey. Oh well, at least this game was fun, for the full 5 minutes it takes to beat it.
Tennis
I couldn't really find any good screenshots for tennis, but I'll let you use your imagination. Think of this: A land in all green or brown (determining court setting), where 2 little blobs fight it out to be the best tennis champion of all times. Now imagine the graphics just a little crappier than what you have in your mind and you have Tennis. Another Fun Fact: When the box art totally blows away the game inside thats when you know you have a Nintendo Classic on your hands. In fact on the box art of this game, the bottom right tennis player must be a ninja seeing as how he has a samurai blade coming out of his left knee cap. That's pretty sweet if you ask me. Actually, I know of quite a few people that play this game religiously when they play Animal Crossing. I just don't get it. I would rather spend an hour watching someone else go fishing in game on the beach than play this for 5 minutes. Yet another example of Nintendo bastardizing a sport.
Excitebike
Ok, to be honest, this game really rules. This is like one of the few real Nintendo Classics in the game that deserves to be there. When this game came out I'd say it was revolutionary in a lot of ways. It had an innovative ability to design your own tracks, it had jumps and heat actually mattered to your engine, and it was the first game I know of that had cameramen in the background filming your magnificent motorcycling feats! While this game was pretty cool, I still don't like the fact that when you crashed your guy would end up always off the side of the track life 50 feet while your bike would be just laying down on the road. Come on my guy just rolled up and over a crazy hill and he ended up off the road while the bike just sits there fine? I'd still say this is a great game, yet I know people that have bought Animal Crossing just for this game, and that's just plain ludicrous. I don't care how good it was in 1985, its definitely not a reason to buy a game nowadays. 2d motorcycling is just weak and while it may seem fun to jump ramps like 300 feet in there and have your engine's heat reset by going over arrows on the ground, it gets old really fast. Come on guys, Animal Crossing is 50 bucks. To get an old Nintendo and this game would be approximately 36 cents just about anywhere. AND THATS EVEN OVERPRICED.
