The Wheres, Whats and Whens...

THURSDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 2009

10.35 AM – Left house with a very heavy suitcase, which is approximately 10% of my bodyweight. It was thanks to a set of weighing scales at the hotel that I will be staying at that allowed me to achieve this conclusion. The aforementioned suitcase weighed about a stone and a half. Walked for about a mile between home and the Broad March Coach Station, dragging the full suitcase of belongings along local pavements and roads, making an almost earth-shattering noise as I did so.

11.05 AM – Got to the Broad Marsh Coach Station. Managed to get a ploughman’s sandwich from the newsagents in the station – this will probably be the last thing that I will eat before getting to London, so I should better pray that I don’t feel hungry again in the next three hours. Mind you, these days I am used to not eating for a number of hours during the day.

11.35 AM – The National Express coach to London arrives in the station from Mansfield. Some people have queued up for almost an hour waiting for it to arrive, along with their suitcases and rucksacks, some with labels and tags on them. Cue a load of people hugging their loved ones and saying goodbye. (I wish that I was one of them – both being hugged and also saying goodbye - what does it feel like?) I give the coach assistant my suitcase to put in the compartment underneath, and then went to the driver to have the “outward journey” portion of my coach ticket torn off before getting on the coach, where there are no window seats available. I always like a window seat as much as I can. First come, first served basis, methinks…

11.45 AM – The coach finally takes off, about five minutes later than planned. It’s a tight squeeze between the man next to me, who is talking on his mobile phone, and the middle alley of the coach. Nevertheless, I just manage to put the tight seatbelt on, which was a struggle. Headphones on, I switch on my transistor radio and search down the FM waveband for radio stations. BBC Radio Nottingham had their gardening phone-in, with nearly all the callers coming from Gedling Borough Council areas (Netherfield, Gedling, Calverton etc). Smooth Radio’s Mark Goodier was interviewing former Play School presenter Floella Benjamin in relation to her entrance in the Great North Run in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne on Sunday morning.

12.05 PM – We’re out of Nottingham and joining the M1 at Junction 24. On the radio, BBC Radio 2’s Jeremy Vine is debating on the changes in the catchment areas for General Practitioners’ surgeries and whether patients will benefit from the change. Later on, he also talked about the anti-social woman who went into a striptease on an aeroplane with her daughter.

1.30 PM – The coach stops at Milton Keynes, the only main stop between Nottingham and London. Some passengers get off and others get on. Tried to use the coach’s toilet, but because the driver had switched the engine off, the damn thing wouldn’t flush after use, and I couldn’t even wash my hands properly! After another delve down the FM band, BBC Three Counties Radio’s presenter Jonathan Vernon-Smith (or JVS as he likes to be called for short), was asking his listeners whether they liked tap water or bottled water, (which was slightly ironic considering the lack of water I had to wash my hands with). This was triggered off the fact that BBC staff was only allowed to have tap water instead to save costs. The presenter was in favour of tap water, while his female assistant preferred bottled mineral water – I agreed with the presenter’s preference, and if the sink in the hotel room has anything to go by, tap water certainly quenched my thirst for the next 48 hours…

2.20 PM – We’ve just entered the outskirts of London and left the motorway, NW8 and all that. The area outside looks built up, which will be the shape of things to come for the next two days. We’ll get to Victoria Coach Station in about half an hour.

2.50 PM – The coach has finally entered Victoria Coach Station. Time to get off the coach and collect the battered blue suitcase of mine (which is how I can tell it apart from the others). Out of the station and onto Eccleston Place where half a dozen Hackney cabs are queuing up to take luggage-laden passengers to hotels around the different areas of the capital.

2.55 PM – Didn’t have to wait long; after about five minutes waiting outside the coach station, a cab driver pulled up and invited me in the back, even giving a bit of help to load the suitcase in as well, after requesting “a helping hand” - the only time that they did this. Asked for The Caring Hotel in W2 and we were off. The first of many minicab journeys in London.

3.20 PM – Arrived at the Caring Hotel. I actually stayed here before during the evening of Wednesday 17th January 2007 when I was staying in London one night on a similar expedition. Checked in at reception, filled in the form etc, and while there was a slight kerfuffle at the desk; the woman trying to get the key for the appropriate room number, I took a leaflet and card that was on the desk. Then she made me climb two flights of stairs with the heavy suitcase and showed me to my room. I suppose that it was a minor thing, considering that the room was facing the road at the front with a very good view.

3.45 PM – Left suitcase in hotel room as I needed to go out for newspapers and magazines from WH Smith and also for some food to bring back. Walked nearly two miles towards the West End via Praed Street and Edgware Road to The Plaza on Oxford Street to the WH Smith for the newspapers and magazines. I could hardly move for the thousands of shoppers going both ways, and almost grinding to a halt around Oxford Circus way. It took an hour to get to WH Smith. Managed to ignore the people who were giving free newspapers to people on the street, even though for one of them, the Friday issue would have been the very last issue that would ever be published. Funny that I passed about five branches of McDonald’s on the way, yet, the Plaza branch of WH Smith seemed to be the first branch that I actually saw, even though their website suggests that there were eight more nearer to the hotel I was staying at, mostly in underground and railway stations. I did also go to that same branch of WH Smith as well for newspapers and magazines when I stayed in January 2007; just prior to going back home on the National Express coach. A welcome change to Nottingham’s Victoria Centre branch methinks…

5.30 PM – Coming back from Oxford Street to the hotel, popped into the Edgware Road McDonald’s for a couple of Big Macs and other burgers to put in my bag and have them when I got back to the hotel room as they only did breakfast. I assumed that this was the nearest branch to where the hotel was, so that I didn’t have to go too far before they went cold on me.

6.10 PM – Arrived back in the hotel again, where I shall stay for the remainder of the night. Ate the McDonald’s meal, washed down with a bottle of Fanta from a nearby newsagent. The television set in the room had BBC 1 and BBC 2 on the opposing buttons to each other, and a poor and ghosty Channel Five reception when I pressed button number five, presumably because its Croydon transmitter signal was just out of range where the Crystal Palace transmitter served the area better.

8.00 PM - Watched Anne Robinson’s return to the consumer series Watchdog later at 8.00 pm. It may not be too good entertainment, but it’s a damn sight better than the soap opera marathon that ITV are offering their viewers this evening.

10.00 PM - After a long day travelling 125 miles, I was absolutely knackered and was ready to sleep for the next eight hours at least, especially and as I had an even busier day tomorrow. Couldn’t even be bothered to stay up for News at Ten…

FRIDAY 18TH SEPTEMBER 2009

5.30 AM – Got up, probably a bit too excited to sleep, even if I was very tired. It was still dark outside and not a sound was heard from anyone apart the odd car starting up outside. The hotel room was not en-suite unfortunately; the nearest toilet was in the room opposite with one’s neighbours having to share it, which I would not have preferred. I did search the FM radio band and as well as all the pop music stations, I got a bit of Alex Lester on BBC Radio 2, and Paul Ross announcing what was coming up on the BBC London 94.9 breakfast show. And also a French radio station on the Medium Wave band.

6.00 AM – Took my radio cassette recorder with me as I usually do, carrying it in ye olde suitcase, and have it plugged into the socket in the room that the kettle would be plugged into. Listened to Sarah “SWs to you” Kennedy on BBC Radio 2, where she played Victoria Wood’s “Let’s Do It”, or whatever it is called, (as performed on Wood’s “Audience With” show back in 1988), as the Showtime tune. Incidentally, Wood was on The One Show later on, promoting her return to television this Christmas, doing a new show with Julie Walters. Kennedy also mentioned the “schoolboy who became a girl after returning to school” story that The Sun newspaper had, in the newspaper review. Daylight commenced about 6.40 am, being so close to the autumn equinox. Got dressed and opened the curtains. (It would be dangerous if one did that the other way round).

7.30 AM – Downstairs for breakfast. Frosties (two packets of them, available in the “slightly bigger than Variety Pack” size, toast, tea, orange juice, bowl of fruit punch, (or so it looked like). Didn’t know about the hard-boiled eggs, otherwise I would had those as well, as I did tomorrow. An hour later, a full-up yours truly was almost close into vomiting mode having eaten so much. However as the hours of the morning went ahead, it helped me to stay hunger free for a lot of the duration.

8.30 AM – Left the hotel, leaving the suitcase behind – I was going to go back for it in a few hours time for the photo shoot as it the outfit I was to wear was inside. Had about four hours or so to find a hairdresser and to get rid of my “two year old haircut” I favour for a new “short back and sides” style. The question is, will I be able to do it in time? I didn’t manage to get a haircut in time for the makeover I had in January 2007. Hope that I am not going to throw up the breakfast I have just had in light of all the excitement – I should be alright. Just enough time to go south, how about going down Park Lane?

9.15 AM – Reached Hyde Park Corner. Walked down a couple of subways to get to Constitution Hill on the other side and walk downwards again, heading towards the Westminster area. After returning the radio from Smooth Radio, I get to BBC London 94.9 and Vanessa Feltz, where she has London Mayor Boris Johnson on her programme for the first hour. Interesting how some callers referred to him on the air as “Mr Mayor”, while others addressed him as plain old “Boris”. The Mayor also mentions about the cycle race that is happening in the capital on Sunday morning, so had I stayed around in time for Sunday morning, I would have found a damn good use for the black lycra cycle shorts in the suitcase, then?

9.45 AM – Buckingham Palace is in full view and I walk onwards along The Mall, and turned right along Whitehall. The flags were at full mast, so it seems to be a good day for Her Majesty and the Royal Family. It almost makes you hanker so much for 3.00 pm on Christmas Day and singing the United Kingdom national anthem out loud along with everyone else…

9.55 AM - The big black gates of Downing Street with armed police officers occupying the entrance across the road while walking down Whitehall, along with two vans waiting to enter the street and people peering through the railings. A police officer even crossed the road, not too far from where I was, fully armed with a shotgun. I suppose that after what happened on Thursday 7th July 2005, I am not at all surprised that the police are taking these precautions. Better to be safe than sorry.

10.05 AM – Reached Bridge Street, approaching Westminster Bridge. Took a photograph of Big Ben showing the aforementioned time (10.05 am of course), so I know that I am definitely precise with the time here. Big Ben is also celebrating 150 years in 2009, so that is also a double celebration here, methinks. (I always take a picture of Big Ben when I have a camera and I am in London, even though the only thing about the clock that changes is the time of course!) Indeed, the irony in taking a photograph of any clock is the fact that one can see what time the picture was taken! Walked back again to where I had come from towards Trafalgar Square and then turned left towards The Strand, WC2, and onto that area.

10.20 AM – Tuned the radio to BBC Radio 2, and Ken “One Year Out” Bruce’s mid-morning programme. Popmaster is going to be on in a couple of minutes after the love song and dedications, and Lynn Bowles with the travel news, (providing an unofficial daily double act with the Scottish presenter), and this morning, one of the contestants works in an adhesive tape factory! His component is a woman who is lost out to him. Just managed a toilet break in a McDonald’s before continuing, and no I did not have any more Big Macs! I just happened to find a gentleman’s barber shop, but as I wanted to listen to Popmaster, (like I do each weekday morning), I wanted to continue to listen to it and walked round, but by the time it finished about half an hour later, I completely lost track of where the barber’s shop was, and spent an hour trying to find it again!

10.50 AM – Walking along Long Acre after Popmaster has finished. No sign of seeing that barber’s shop again, although I did manage to find out without expecting it, where the National Union of Teachers headquarters were based in the capital. I never got to find 22 Long Acre, the address of Channel Five either, or any other national address based on that street either.

11.00 AM – While I look round for a barber’s shop, I go into a newsagent and purchase a “London 2010 calendar” postcard. I address it to myself, “Mr Bean”-style, put a first-class stamp on it and posted it in a nearby post box, something that I have done a few times over the past few years when I go on holiday to another place in the United Kingdom. I received the postcard back in the post three days later, someone bent it in two, along with a “Mount Pleasant - 1.30 pm on Friday 18th September 2009” postmark, which someone had bizarrely covered up the post code with white sticker. How odd indeed…

11.30 AM – Tuned the radio back to Vanessa Feltz’s programme on BBC London 94.9, where she was debating on mothers who were unable to conceive children, unless they did it under IVF, fostering or adoption, attracting mostly female callers only with their problems. Looking around, there was still No sign of any more barber’s shops; I have only seen “women only” ones so far. Walked round the WC1 and WC2 areas, where the theatres are, (Drury Lane etc), and there are so many salon restaurants cafes and food places, but not too many gentlemen’s hairdressers! Finally ran out of photographs to take on my camera, of which I had started the previous day, leaving Broad Marsh Coach Station, just before I boarded the coach 24 hours earlier. Perhaps my main strength in life is to actually be in front of the camera rather than just being behind it?

12.05 PM – At last! A barber shop and they do men’s hair as well! And with less than three hours to go! Better step inside, and wait for my haircut. That other barbers shop offered haircuts for about £15, so perhaps I should have gone to that one, because as I eventually found out, this one was approximately £10 more expensive. I decided to stick with this one, now that I found it. Will my hair look like a male model’s or like Worzel Gummidge’s? All would be revealed in about an hour’s time.

12.10 PM – Sat down on one of the chairs inside and the male hairdressers who was cutting two people’s hair (one was elderly and didn’t have too much hair anyway – the hair that he did have had gone white, while the other was a much younger person), kept going on about Arsenal, Chelsea and other London football clubs, like real stereotypical London men. Managed to even chip in once, (as a person who comes from Nottingham), to deliberately correct one of them after they had mistakenly said that Trent Bridge was in Birmingham, when the subject briefly changed to cricket. ITV1 and This Morning were on the large plasma screen television just inside the door with a Sky Digital box tucked away at the top, when the programme almost finished. Loose Women followed it like a bad smell, but nobody in the shop was watching it anyway.

12.35 PM – Both customers had left the shop by now after waiting for 30 minutes, so therefore it was time for my “short, back and sides” haircut, and also to get rid of two years worth of worry on top of my head. Got into the chair, had the sheet tied around my neck and the “starter” to the photo shoot commenced. The hairdresser did have to ask what the reason why I wanted the haircut didn’t he – and that almost spawned a separate conversation in itself as well. After 35 minutes of the electric shaver, scissors and a rinse, and £24.50 later, it was time to leave and get back to the hotel before 2.00 pm.

1.10 PM – Left the barber’s shop after paying the man, and then walked up to join the crowd of shoppers on Oxford Street, walking in the direction of Edgware Road. After walking along for about 20 minutes, managed to save a few more minutes by running to catch a London bus that went along and turned right up Edgware Road. Got on and sat upstairs as the downstairs was full up and not too many people went upstairs. Used my disability bus pass to get on, which gives me free travel on almost bus services in England. However I had to get off early as it turned left into Sussex Gardens and not into Praed Street and walked the difference to get onto there from Edgware Road, walking rather quickly, not wasting any time at all.

1.40 PM – Walked along Praed Street, going towards Craven Road and then Craven Hill Gardens. Retuned the radio from Jeremy Vine on BBC Radio 2 to Feedback with Roger Bolton on BBC Radio 4, another programme that I listen to each week. It was a new series, returning after the summer break, and what with being away from home, I almost forgot that it was on, and so therefore I missed the first ten or so minutes of it. I suppose that it was repeated on Sunday evening anyway…

1.55 PM - Got back to the hotel for a quick toilet break (the first for over three hours), and after Feedback ended, collected the heavy suitcase with my “props” inside it. After getting it down the hotel stairs and outside the hotel once again, dragging it along the pavement, on Craven Road, saw a couple of stationery minicabs just round the corner. One of them looked as if he had been asleep for a couple of hours or reading, and didn’t even notice me at first through his front window. When he did, he became alert after I shown him a piece of paper with The Casting Suite’s address on it, and invited me to hop in the back, which I did. The traffic was heavy as usual, but despite taking half an hour, (and even the driver had to look in his A to Z to make sure where exactly it was), I can almost understand a taxi driver living in London all of their lives and still getting stranded looking for an address. I arrived at The Casting Suite half an hour early, which is better than being half an hour late.

2.30 PM – Went inside The Casting Suite and introduced myself to the woman at the reception, who invited me to sit down and wait with magazines and the like to pass the time away until I am called. Prior to arriving, I noticed that a man there, along with a “tokenised” woman, (who seemed look as if she was the infuriatingly average stereotype model in terms of clothes and body language that makeover companies and model agencies always seem to have). Presumably they both had their photo shoot about an hour before mine. A couple of men also came in as well as a couple of women. I waited, and in the meantime, the receptionist made a few telephone calls, as well as received a few in that time, and I noticed the buzz of telephone operators with computers behind the glass where I waited, which could get quite noisy, along with the slight sound of music from somewhere in the building. Looked at my watch and a few more minutes had passed. The minutes and seconds ticked away.

3.00 PM – A member of staff had come to see me at long last and asked me to follow her to the next floor. As I had a suitcase of course, I had to use the lift, to save from dragging up yet another flight of stairs yet again, but the woman said that she would climb the stairs and “she would see me when I get up there”. Mr Suitcase and myself got into the lift. The lift was a modern talking one, announcing the floor that you were on, and it sound exactly the same as the lift that is used at Nottingham Central Library when I sometimes go to the local studies department on the fourth floor. I did get the déjà vu feeling (as I often do with lots of things these days), when I heard it, thinking that I was back in Nottingham again!

3.05 PM – Suitcase and myself arrive upstairs in the lift. While I wait, two more “stereotypical” women in jeans, who were either best friends, sisters, or just lookalikes of each other, had already had their photo shoot done, presumably about an hour or so prior to mine, and were quite obviously sticking around to wait for see what the final result of their images look like. They were talking to each other, and the conversation came down to what date it was today. “What date is it today – the 17th?” asked one of them. “It’s the 18th today – a Friday”, I chipped in, overhearing what they were saying. I heard them say thanks and went back to talking to each other. I just waited around the corner from them, at times just looking at the colour of the wall and sometimes the ceiling. No, I wasn’t nervous about this at all, after all, I have done similar to this before.

3.10 PM - After a further wait it is time for the make-up to be applied on the face, and for a person who doesn’t really like to have their face and skin to be “interfered” with, I did quite well with this. I entered the fully air-conditioned room, with extractor fans on ceilings and the like, leaving the bags outside while the woman applied the make-up, encouraging conversation with me as she did so. I said that this photo shoot would make up (no pun intended) for the problems that I had in the past, almost like a much-deserved late birthday “present” to myself. I did mention briefly in conversation that I was very excited about the event, in the same way anyone else would be in that situation. The make-up (along with my new haircut) will hopefully make lots of impact when it comes to the photography of myself in the studio very shortly.

3.15 PM – With the make-up finally done, the make-up assistant went off to make me a cup of tea (after previously offering me just a glass of water – whether it happened to be Thames Water-style tap water or Perrier-style bottled mineral water, we’ll never know), and gave me a tattered copy of that day’s free Metro newspaper to read while I waited. The newspaper looked as if it was a few years old: it had half a page torn out towards the middle of the issue, and it must have passed through thousands of people that day, or so it seemed. The assistant came back again a few minutes later and placed the steaming white mug of tea on the empty seat next to me on my left, and she went back to the nearby desk to have a word with her colleague, who had just come from a door at the other end of the room and went through a door on my near right that seemed to be a storeroom with “staff only” written on the door. She came out again and came back the other way, as if she was too busy to care (well, not quite anyway!) This happened a couple of times in about ten minutes. I drank my cup of tea and focused on the clothes that were in the suitcase; the ones that I would be wearing soon. They look after you well…

3.25 PM – Finally, the time came for me to go into the studio where the pictures were taken. Paul, the photographer (who had set up his own photography business himself), had originally assumed that I would do the photo shoot in the clothes that I was already wearing, but as I said that I have the outfit in the suitcase, he gave me a few minutes to change into it. He went out of the room for a couple of minutes, where he seemed to be talking to his colleague in the process, and I closed the door so that I could change after I did this. Once I was in my outfit, I opened the door again to signal to him that I was finally ready.

3.30 PM – Got changed into the outfit. Yes, this is the life! – Jeans, denim jacket, black shirt (although it had a hole in the left sleeve, but the jacket covered that up), and yellow tie, to complement the dark colour of the shirt. (There was a button missing on the shirt, which the tie had nicely hidden). I suppose that the outfit was strongly inspired and heavily based on some late 1970s or early 1980s pop or rock star, a kind of John Travolta, Adam Ant, Shakin’ Stevens or Paul Young feel about it, which is presumably where I get the inspiration into what clothes to wear on these makeover shoots. If only I was twenty years older! The objective being the fact that I would be the star of the show; the number one person – the person that people (usually women in a man’s case) would look up to and admire, and perhaps even get jealous over, who knows? That is I want to be. The photographer began snapping away, getting about 50 or so pictures of Yours Truly in various poses. This is where I felt very special. I wish I could do this all the time for a living. Even a female staff member who was passing by as the door was opened, couldn’t help glancing into the room at me in the outfit as I was waiting to be photographed.

3.45 PM - One change of clothes: black cycle shorts and a pink t-shirt. Just happened to pack them in the suitcase in case I needed them. Not too popular a choice by Paul the photographer, but I did get a few shots while wearing them. I originally purchased the cycle shorts from a local shop that sold bicycle accessories near to where I live, especially for the Skylite Studios photography makeover, just before Christmas in 2006, and that I have seldom worn them in public ever since...

3.55 PM – Back to the ever-popular jeans and denim jacket that I was wearing before as the photographer preferred these to the t-shirt and cycle shorts. A few more shots of them, probably totalling to over 100. Photographer suggested a yellow filter to go over the light to contrast with the colour of the tie I was wearing. (I did wish that I had a female photographer as I did in January 2007, so that the pictures would have been taken from an “opposite sex” perspective). After that, it was over, and I stayed in the outfit afterwards.

4.30 PM – After suitcase and myself finally went back down the lift to where the entrance was, I followed another staff member, Caroline (who was the one who wore a denim skirt on that day), to the back of the front room near to where the entrance was. Here there was a big projector screen on the wall, which magnified a computer screen, and on it, she had shown me a selection of the 100 plus images of myself. I was so impressed at how I looked like in them, and after the haircut at lunchtime, I almost didn’t even recognise myself – that man in the images looked like a totally different person to myself. She said that for just over £200 I could have a selection of about 16 of the best images on CD. After saying that “it was a bargain at the price”, I thought about it for a bit, and agreed to have them. I gave her my Debit Card details, and after the payment was processed, she gave me a receipt and said that the CD would come in the post to my address in about three weeks’ time. In conversation, I talked about the photography makeover session that I did in January 2007 and that women have said that I looked good in the images, which boosted my confidence.

4.40 PM – After saying thank you to the people who I spoke to in the entrance area, and shook hands with most of them, it was time to leave. I mentioned to them about a hundred times over that I really enjoyed myself and had a wonderful day. On the whole it was a thousand times better than my birthday, and it was one of the few chances to express myself. I must have been there for the best part of a couple of hours, if you count the fact that I also arrived there about half an hour early.

4.45 PM – Once I left the Casting Suite Building, I waited around the corner and flagged down a minicab and got into it. The first one I saw went round the other corner, but I managed to flag the second one down, it stopped for me and I got into it.

4.55 PM – Arrived back to the Caring Hotel in the minicab with suitcase in tow (and this morning’s clothes inside it), looking rather different to this time yesterday. Put the suitcase back in the room upstairs and then came down again. Had a little trouble with the man on duty in reception (in fact, he was the same man who was also on duty on the evening when I booked into the same hotel in January 2007 and he even remembered me from back then. I can remember that he was actually watching the football that evening when I checked in, with a television set inside the office, as I seem to remember). However he mentioned that it was only a very minor thing regarding the hotel room key and was nothing too much to worry about...

5.05 PM – Went out for about an hour (remembering what the man at the desk said about the hotel room key), and went out to see if I could get something to eat when I got back. After going round the area, and around Edgware Road, almost across the road where the station was, and then crossed the road back again, towards Praed Street and walked on back again.

5.50 PM - Went up Praed Street, and entered a fish and chip shop, Ordered a fish burger and chips with a small bottle of orange Tango, waiting about seven to ten minutes for the food to be handed over, while others waited for their food as well.

6.05 PM – Walked further up towards Craven Road to a newsagent for that day’s edition of the London Evening Standard, Take a Break magazine, and a copy of The Sun newspaper, which I don’t read on a regular basis, but I was rather curious at the “exclusive” on page one about the unnamed schoolboy who had changed gender during the school holidays and had came back to school as a schoolgirl. I couldn’t believe it myself, so I obviously had to read it to find out what it was all about.

6.15 PM – Came back to the hotel and went up the stairs to my room, where I will be staying until tomorrow morning. Read the newspapers, and ate the meal. Flicked between The Six O’Clock News on BBC 1 and London Tonight on ITV. On the latter programme, there was a news report about a free London newspaper (that I had mentioned previously) was publishing its very last edition that day, and ironically I tried to avoid anyone trying to hand me a copy of it when I was out and about!

7.00 PM – An interesting evening on television: The One Show on BBC 1 had Victoria Wood as a guest, where they repeated the clip of her singing “Let’s Do It” that Sarah Kennedy played on her breakfast programme earlier on in the day. Watched Mastermind on BBC 2 at 7.30 pm, which was followed at 8.00 pm by the first in a new series Strictly Come Dancing on BBC 1, which has moved to Friday Night. Watched it only because Bruce Forsyth still presents it of course. I don’t do soap operas.

10.00 PM – Stayed up for News at Ten, which had a report on children’s farms being affected by the E Coli outbreak, including one farm, the White Post Farm that is about ten miles from where I live, and I actually visited in April 2008. When that finished, the late film came on at 10.35 pm, and that meant it was time for me to get some sleep after such a long day.

SATURDAY 19TH SEPTEMBER 2009

7.00 AM – Felt really tired from doing everything at once yesterday, and could almost feel like sleeping right up until Monday morning, but of course, I was due to go back home today, so I obviously couldn’t do that. It had only just got light outside.

7.30 AM – Still in bed flicking through the GMTV children’s television programmes and the weekend version of Breakfast on BBC 1, and as well as looking through the pages of the old analogue Teletext and Ceefax services, which will become history when analogue signals are turned off in about 2012 – a very sad day when that will happen. Thank goodness that breakfast is served at 8.00 am on Saturdays and not 7.30 am like on weekday mornings – a more relaxing start to the weekend.

8.00 AM – Out of bed and got dressed. Looks like another fine day today as did yesterday. Managed to pack everything away in the suitcase, which I will leave in the room until after breakfast as I can’t take it into the breakfast room with me. Today was the day that I was going back home to Nottingham on the National Express coach – a 3½ hour journey.

8.30 AM – Arrive downstairs for breakfast. Same cereals as yesterday – Mr Kellogg has a lot to answer for! Had to ask for a pot of tea as the waitress forgot to put one on my table. Got a couple of hard-boiled eggs – just ate them whole without soldiers. No eggcups were available to I had to ask the staff before I could start to eat them. Toast and orange juice again.

9.30 AM – Time to leave the hotel for the last time. Got the suitcase down the stairs one more time. Didn’t need to pay the person at reception as I managed to do that yesterday during the discussion about the room key after I returned from The Casting Suite – while I was there, I thought that it would have been a good time to pay anyway, and even if I forgot, I would have sent them a cheque through the post when I got back home again. I am sure they know that I am of the honest sort.

9.35 AM – Left the hotel and walking round the streets with suitcase in hand. Walked down a side street from Craven Road along to Bayswater Road to try and flag down a minicab. Managed to get one to stop for me after a couple of them had gone past because they already had passengers in them. Asked the driver to be taken to Victoria Coach Station and got inside.

9.55 AM – Paid the cab driver (who thought that my radio was a mobile phone) and got out of the cab at Victoria Coach Station. Went into the station to wait for the coach. Most cab fares have cost around £13 when I have used them.

10.15 AM – The National Express coach service number 450 with the destination board reading “Mansfield” on the front is already there. I wait along with the others with their luggage and heavy bags, and people hugging each other yet again.

10.25 AM – Boarded the coach. Luggage loaded into the space underneath the coach, “Return Journey” portion of the ticket torn off by the driver, and then passengers get onto the coach. Fortunately managed to get a seat near to the window this time as we were one of the first onto the coach. Although someone else sat next to me, but he wasn’t going all of the way.

10.30 AM – We’re off! The coach starts up and starts moving, leaving Victoria Coach Station and London. It travels along Oxford Street and then along Park Road northwards. Tuning into my radio, Vanessa Feltz again is on BBC London 94.9, talking about young girl’s comics and also the comments about the performances on last night’s Strictly Come Dancing. Feltz’s programme has a more “relaxed feel” on Saturdays compared to its Monday to Friday counterparts. We eventually leave Westminster City Council’s patch behind and join Camden Council’s while we are travelling along Finchley Road.

11.00 AM – The coach stops to pick up passengers at Golder’s Green. (I personally prefer Victoria Coach Station to Golder’s Green to board and alight from a coach). Listened to the 11.00 am news bulletin on BBC London 94.9 to hear that the main news item was about a shop worker, 24 year old Colin Thomas was fighting for his life in Croydon after being shot by several masked men, who were stealing jewellery from glass cabinets the previous day at a Costco supermarket where he worked.

11.30 AM – We join the M1 Motorway. The BBC London 94.9 signal (and by implication Vanessa Feltz) fades away after about an hour on the coach, not too along after I have seen the “Welcome to Bedfordshire” road sign outside, so I retuned to BBC Three Counties Radio where they have got a gardening phone in programme on. Not as good as Ms Feltz, methinks!

12.00 PM – Coach arrives at Milton Keynes and stops at the main station for about fifteen minutes. Used the coach toilet, which I better luck with, than on Thursday, presumably because the driver kept the engine of the coach running. The man who was sitting next to me got off here, which meant that I had both seats to myself, not that I needed both of them!

12.30 PM – Managed to pick up BBC Radio Northampton. The presenters were talking about birds or something on here, and ironically they had mentioned the Nottingham area while doing this – the West Bridgford area to be more specific. It won’t be long before I will pick the East Midlands radio stations up again: BBC Radio Leicester, Smooth Radio and so on.

1.00 PM – After listening to several local radio stations, retuned to BBC Radio 2 for Pick of the Pops as I listen to each every Saturday afternoon at this time. This week the presenter Dale Winton was playing songs from the charts from this week in 1967 and 1980, and I managed to listen to the first hour while I was on the coach. I always associate the 1967 chart with BBC Radio1 first going on the air, even though 1967 was 11 years before I was born! Sir Cliff Richard had hits in both charts.

1.30 PM – The coach is now in Leicestershire, going towards the Loughborough area, considering the 01509 prefix on local businesses outside. We soon leave the M1 Motorway at Junction 24 and then join the A453 north-eastwards towards the Nottinghamshire area, going onto the A606 along Edwalton and West Bridgford just before reaching Nottingham. As we approach Trent Bridge, football supporters in red shirts indicate the fact that Nottingham Forest are playing at home today.

1.55 PM – Arrive back at Broad Marsh Coach Station in Nottingham. Suitcase unloaded from coach, and walk from the station, cutting through Broad Marsh Shopping Centre and then onto Cliff Road towards the direction of London Road. Actually saw the coach on its way towards Mansfield along the road that I was trying to cross – it passed before I could cross.

2.10 PM – Still listening to Pick of the Pops on my radio. Walked along near a local street that incidentally was the scene of a burglary where a man posing as a water official conned £30,000 out of an elderly woman earlier on that morning, as the Nottingham Evening Post had reported the following week. It just proves how bad that area is for crime these days.

2.25 PM – Arrive back home again – through the front gate. Just one letter on the doormat. Even the postcard that I sent to myself hadn’t arrived yet – that would eventually arrive on Monday. I arrive back to find out that nothing has changed at all…

Finally, I would like to thank all the people and organisations that have the slightest connection with my couple of days away from home. As a starting point, I would obviously like to thank The Casting Suite for the makeover shoot; to National Express coaches for getting me from Nottingham to London and back again two days later. I would also like to thank The Caring Hotel of 24 Craven Hill Gardens, London W2 3EA for having a spare room for me for two nights; at least four of the great drivers of London’s minicabs for being brilliant with their local London knowledge and getting me to the hotel from London Victoria Coach Station, and of course to everyone from The Casting Suite. Thanks also go to the gentleman’s barber’s shop based in the west end of London, (which I cannot remember the name of, but I am sure you know who you are) for the excellent “short back and sides” haircut, in the nick of time – (you saved my life from a hair perspective!)

However, I would like to mention here that the only sour note is to those people at the Royal Mail, because thanks to them I had received the images CD over a month too late. They had lost the first CD that was sent out and damaged the second one, and sent the package back to The Casting Suite. (And this happened at the same time as their pointless strike as well!) Thankfully a third one arrived in mid-November, although I had to collect it from my local Sorting Office as I was out shopping at my local Morrison's when the postman came! Needless to say, I went there with my "Sorry You Were Out" card and collected it first thing the following morning!

MAIN LINKS THAT HAVE RELEVENCE TO THIS EVENT:

THE CASTING SUITE

THE CARING HOTEL

NATIONAL EXPRESS