Things to do when you are bored.

1. Walk into a fast food restaurant. When the assistant says "Can I take your order?" ask to speak to the manager. When the manager arrives, explain that you did not like the way the assistant said "Can I take your order?".

2. Walk into a fast food restaurant and order some fries. When asked if you want tomato sauce, stare the assistant in the eyes and laugh psychotically.

3. Drive throught the drive-thru backwards and let your passenger order.

4. Phone McDonalds and ask if they have the address of the nearest Burger King.

5. Phone KFC and ask to speak the Colonel, then threaten to have the person defrocked when they try to explain that he isn't in at the moment.

6. Walk into a fast food restaurant and order a cup of water and two napkins. And that's all.

7. Pay the assistant in 1ps.

8. Walk into a fast food restaurant. When the assistant says "Can I take your order?" tell them "No! Why can't I take yours?".

9. Calmly walk past the queue, and start giving your order (make it a big one) to the assistant, regardless of whether he/she is ready for it. Keep giving them your order until they shout at you.

10. Walk in to a fast food restaurant looking totally wasted and severely drunk. Leer suggestively at the assistant, and continously ask if Elmo is in at the moment. Keep asking regardless of the answer you get. Repeat until you are forcibly removed.

1. Walk in naked

2. Throw an open bottle of Tippex across the room.

3. (If you are a guy) When everyone is quietly working, stand up and in a loud voice shout "MAN! I feel like a woman!" (I know someone who did this!!! It was for a bet, and he won about £60 from it...)

3. (If you are a girl) See how many items of clothing you can remove before someone tells you to stop.

4. Flirt with the teacher.

5. Mutter "sausage" every time anybody says the word "and". (I know someone who actually did this!)

6. Secretly try to develop a walk that would impress the Ministry Of Funny Walks.

7. Dance on the desks.

8. Blow up a balloon while everyone is working, then let it go and watch it fly around the room.

9. Sing The Lumberjack Song as loudly as possible. Encourage any teachers who may be present to join in.

10. Snigger continuously. When asked what is funny, claim that you have figured out how to take over the world.

1. Hide in the freezer units.

2. Try to engage the customers in fencing matches using baguettes as swords.

3. Conceal yourself behind the breakfast cereal. Whenever someone walks past, shout "They're GREAT!"

4. Try to form a human wall between customers and dog food, claiming it to be "immoral and ethicly outrageous".

5. Sneak into the bakery and eat pies.

6. Try to sit on the conveyor belt at the checkouts. Insist that the assistant scans your forehead for a barcode. Refuse to leave until the bar code scanner recognises what your forehead is. When it does, attempt to pay for your own forehead.

7. Enter the supermarket very early in the morning. Put 2 pillows in your trolley, then find somewhere nice and quiet. Go to sleep in the trolley. When it is nearly closing time, get out of the trolley (just leave it where it is) and purchase a single toothbrush.

8. Get an assistant to help you look for: KY jelly, cucumbers, custard, whipped cream, chains, etc.

9. Steal things from other people's trolleys. Better yet, hijack someones trolley and see if you can put everything back on the shelves in their proper places before you are caught.

10. During the busiest time of day, put the HamsterDance CD into a stereo system and turn the volume right up. Dance madly. Try to dance with others, especially people who look like they don't get out much.

1. Make some ammonium triiodide. Place it on your teacher or administrators seat.

2. Glue all the doors shut.

3. Find some snake bite antidote (make sure it isn't harmful to you). Drink it, and walk into the headmaster/rector/boss's office. The snake bite antidote will cause you to vomit. Do so all over the person in question, their desk, any filing cabinets in the room, and any guests that happen to be present. Once you have finished vomiting, apologise profusely.

4. Always carry a screwdriver with you. Slowly dismantle the building.

5. Pretend that you have dropped your contact lenses in a corridor. Tell everyone very loudly not to walk along the corrider "or you might step on it!".

6. Have extended sneezing/coughing fits.

7. Start wailing in the halls.

8. If the building has lockers, locate a locker and use some decent superglue to seal a rotting fish inside. Put a sign on the door saying "This locker will self-destruct if opened for inspection".

9. Sit around and make lists like this.

10. Important papers, memos, registrations slips and assessments are often left unguarded. Help yourself at every opportunity.

1. Set an alarm clock for 3:30 am and leave it in the refrigerator.

2. Glue items of furniture to the ceiling during the night.

3. Sneak into your friend's house and make a call to the talking clock in Tokyo. Leave the phone off the hook.

4. Place bags of sawdust beneath strategic locations of the living room carpet, thus creating lump effects.

5. Just as the most faint-hearted member of the household is waking up, scream in their ear.

6. A really hilarious April Fools joke is to go to the main page on my site and click on the banner in the top-left. :) hehe...

7. Phone the nearest sex shop, then quickly pass the phone to someone else and say "it's for you".

8. Write to your mother pretending to be a strip club owner. Offer her a job.

9. Leave boxes of chocolates scattered around the house, having previously emptied (and optionally, eaten) the contents.

10. Dye the cat luminescent green.

(anyone who does all of the above, and sends me the pictures, gets a chair which Mr Love will pay for)