From Derrin Dallman, father to baby Louie, born March 3rd, 2000.
When my wife first introduced the idea of us hiring a doula, I
couldn't imagine why we would need one, since I was going to be with her
during labor and delivery. What more could she need than her husband by
her side? It turned out that she would need much more than me by her
side, and so during labor and delivery I became exceedingly grateful
that she hired Stephanie, despite my earlier misgivings and skepticism.
My wife wanted the labor and birth to progress as naturally as
possible, with as few medical interventions as possible. In order for
this to happen, she needed to get educated and confident prior to labor,
and Stephanie was a clearinghouse of information and a warehouse of
comfort aids. Also necessary for a happy and natural birth was a feeling
of safety for Helen. She knew that if I should not know what to do at
any point during the labor and delivery, Stephanie would be there to
help me or to do it. And that is how it played out.
All the pressure was off of me during the labor and delivery, and I
was free to comfort Helen and obey her every command ;-) such as "rub my
back!" "no, not there!" "softer!" "no, not that soft!" and so on.
Stephanie stepped in when Helen wanted her to. She talked to Helen and
gave her encouragement in ways that she had prepped me with, but that I
forgot.
I have recommended to friends that they get a doula. I never could
have known in the beginning what a help she would be. It's a good thing
Helen won that argument in the beginning by saying that when I was going
to give birth, then I could decide whether I wanted to have a doula, but
since she was the one this time, she would decide. Definitely one
argument I'm glad she won.
Comments from fathers.
What did you like most about having a doula?
Having a doula helped me stay calm, and helped me understand what was going on.
She was also very informative.
~ Ernie.
I had no idea how to help my wife. She was in so much pain, I didn't want to disturb her to ask questions. Stephanie knew exactly what to ask. The doula can give you ways in which you can support your partner. Without her, I felt hopeless in helping my wife.
~ Michael.
If the doula had not been there I would have felt completely lost, and panicked from seeing my wife in pain. Having a doula made myself and my wife more relaxed.
~ Christian.
