"YOU'RE SUCH A WHORE!!"
"YOU'RE A BASTARD!!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH!! GET OVER IT!!" He walked up to my mother and slapped her hard across her face. "DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A BASTARD AGAIN DO YOU HEAR ME??" She nodded but let the tears spill. I walked past all of this and slipped quietly out the door hoping not to be noticed by Jerry. I ran as fast as I could but slowed down as soon as I saw the beach coming into view. The beach was my sanctuary. My quiet place. Where I seeked refuge from the tribulations of everyday life. I leant down and kicked off my shoes and then carried them while walking through the sand. Letting it squish between my feet. I found a peaceful looking spot and sat down. Cuddled my knees against my chest and just stared out into the ocean.
I've loved the ocean my whole life. Ever since I was six, I'd always run to the beach and just sit there and cry. Knowing that life would never get better. When I was three, my father died of cancer and my mother remarried to a guy named Jerry. When I was about five, Jerry started drinking. Him and my mother always got in fights. They'd hit eachother, call eachother names, etc. I always managed to slip away and come to the beach. Some nights, I'd sit out here and stare at the water or gaze at the stars all night and wouldn't go home until after I woke up the next day on the beach surrounded by all the kids with their parents playing on the beach.
Ever since Mom married Jerry, I've learned how to survive life on my own. I've been grown up practically my whole life even though I am just now considered to be 'legal'. When I was seven all the kids on my block were playing barbies or playing baseball, I was teaching myself to read and write and how to cook. When I was fifteen and everyone was worrying about shopping or what dress to wear to their school dance, I was worrying about my job, that I had full time since I had dropped out of school. I've never had any friends, I've never had any boyfriends. My whole life I have been alone in this world.
While I was thinking, I never noticed someone sit down next to me until he muttered a hello. Shocked out of my train of thought, I looked over to see who was there. "Hi." I answered back. This guy had blond hair and even though we were sitting down, I could tell he was tall. After looking at his face, I noticed that he was having problems in his life as well.
"I'm Nick and you are?" He questioned. He was trying to be polite and start a conversation but truthfully, I didn't want to talk to anyone.
I sighed and answered in almost a whisper "I'm Alex." He looked at me a smiled. We sat there in silence, both just sitting and staring out into the ocean lost in our own thoughts. Until he spoke up again.
"So, what brings you here?"
"I needed to think."
He nodded in agreement. "What about?" I looked at him and he quickly added "If you don't mind me asking."
I shook my head "Nah, not at all. I just needed to think about nothing in particular I guess. I come here practically every night just to think so I don't think that there's anything left to think about."
"Ah, but there is always something to think about."
"Yeah I guess. I also needed to get away from the screaming in my house." He cocked his head to the side and looked at me questioningly. "My mom and her husband. They fight a lot. Have all my life." I answered simply and sighed.
"Oh. Is that what you're thinking about?" I shook my head
"Nah, I've pretty much thought that over five years ago and haven't really thought of it since. It just gives me a headache when I hear them cuss eachother out. And those slaps he gives her are loud enough to make your head spin." I could tell by his face he was shocked.
"Why don't you do anything?"
"No reason to. My mother hasn't ever been there for me so I see no need to be there for her. She can handle herself. Ever since I was six it's been like I have been living on my own. I've supported myself. I've never had a real lifestyle that most people do."
"I can relate to that."
"How?"
"Well, ever heard of the Backstreet Boys?" I shook my head. "Well, I'm one of them. Not to sound cocky (AN: I know the spelling is "cauky" but I like spelling it "cocky" better...lol) but we're one of the most popular "boy bands" out there. Everyone know who I am, what I do, who I do it with, every little aspect of what I'd like to call my personal life although it's not exactly personal anymore. My mom has even played a role in it by writing a book about me and telling interviewers anything she can about me. I can't do anything without having it make the news or magazines or whatever the next day. I never even went to highschool. I've been in this band since I was thirteen, seven years, and I feel I've missed out on a real life."
I laughed bitterly "Well, there's not that much to miss. Well, in my case anyway. I've had to make my money on my own or whatever. I dropped out of highschool because it sucked. Although if you went, you probably would have had the time of your life. You look you'd be the popular basketball playing type guy. Having all the girls swoon over you and them all trying to jump your bones or take you to prom. You would have made it through highschool, but me on the other hand, I'm a different story."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I've never had it easy. Like I said, I've had to support myself since I was six. I've never even had any friends in my life. It's just me, myself, and I."
"Are you sure you've never had any friends? You look like you'd be a pretty popular girl. Pretty, unique, you wouldn't go with what everyone else was doing, and you seem to have a great personality."
I smirked at him "Yeah and you know this all from the whole ten minutes we've been sitting here??"
He shrugged his shoulders but smiled "Hey, I'm good at reading people."
"Yeah, well, I'm not so tell me what's on your mind."
He sighed "Everything."
"Care to elaborate?"
"Well, being a Backstreet Boys is so stressful. We're always touring, making an album, music video, or on tv. We never get any breaks. And plus, like I said, we're under constant observation. This guy named Lou Pearlman who got us started didn't give us all of our money so we had to sue him. And then our old management company were being pricks so we had to sue them and get new managers. Then I started dating this girl named Mandy who was great. I thought that I loved her but it turns out she was using me to get fame and she started abusing me, my friends, making fun of my fans, and she stole my tv (AN: Do you guys think that I'm EVER going to get over that?? Haha...I dont think i will..the stupid bitch stole his damn tv!) so I had to dump her. And to top it all off, my mom has been a stage mom. When I was younger she helped me acheive my dream because she said that she wanted me to be happy but in reality, she just wanted the money and now she's doing the same thing to my siblings. My life is just a mess."
"Wow, that's definantly a mouthful! But at least I know not to get on your bad side, you might sue me!" We laughed.
"Sometimes, I just feel like I should quit being a Backstreet Boy, it's just making me miserable."
"What? And disapoint all your 13 year old fans who think that they're gonna marry you someday??" We laughed again. "No seriously Nick, when was the last time that you were really truly happy?"
He thought about it for a minute and then smiled "Last week when we had our concert. When I'm on stage, it just makes me soo happy."
"Well, then there's your answer. Being in a band might be stressful, you may not get that many breaks, and you may always be working but think about this, when you're 25, you'll have enough money to retire and still survive the rest of your life. Plus, when you're on stage, you're at your happiest moments. You go out on that stage and you sing you heart out and you make all those girls happy. If it's what you love doing, then don't quit. If you don't get enough breaks then request some threatening to quit if you don't have a break. Or just break your leg so you have to have some time off." We laughed again.
"You're right ya know. I shouldn't quit something I love just cause my mom pisses me off or because my girlfriend used me, or because it's stressful. All of my life is going to be stressful isnt it?" I nodded. "But what about you?"
"What about me? I'll go home. Whether it's tonight or tomorrow morning and then I'll come back once again tomorrow night, trying to escape Jerry and my mother once again. I'll eventually move out. But at least I'll know that I helped prevent the depression of the whole female teen population in the world." He chuckled a bit.
"You know, sitting here talking to you has helped me more than anything has helped me in the past three months. I don't know what it is about you but you make me feel better." I smiled at Nick
"Well, glad to know I helped."
"But the thing is is that I'm going to go back to my glamorous lifestyle of mine and you'll be going back to your mom and Jerry and I just feel so horrible knowing what you're going back to." I smiled at him softly.
"Well, Nick, that's the way that life works. You can't help it. I can't help it. The only person who can help it is God and I don't think that that's going to happen anytime soon. But it's getting late, you should probably go home, well, to your hotel anyway, and call your management company and demand some time off."
"But will I ever see you again Alex?"
"Maybe, maybe not. We won't know until it happens again. Maybe someday I'll get brave enough to move out and face the world on my own and follow my dream. I'll become a famous photographer and then maybe our paths will cross again. Or maybe I'll just move to Florida, assumming you've moved back of course, cause I've heard that Florida has better beaches than Texas." He nodded but then looked at me
"How'd you know that I live in Florida??" I shrugged my shoulders and smiled sheepishly.
"OK, so maybe I've heard about the Backstreet Boys a couple times."
He chuckled and shook his head. "Here, let me give you my number and address." I shook my head
"No Nick, if we ever meet or speak again, lets let it be fate. Not planned alright? It just better that way." He slowly nodded, not exactly understanding my reasonings. We stood up and brushed the sand off of our pants.
"Well, it was nice to meet you Nick."
"You too Alex. And I know that someday our paths will cross again because fate brought us here together tonight to help eachother so fate will bring us together again."
He leant down to give me a hug. He pulled away and look at my face, and then slowly, he brought his face closer to mine and gave me a kiss. Not a long passionate one, but not a quick meaningless one. The kiss didn't last that long but there were emotions there that I knew were hard to ignore.
I pulled away slowly and opened my eyes to look at him. "Goodbye Nick. Don't forget me."
"I couldn't forget you Alex. Thanks." I nodded and he walked away. I sighed and then walked away heading towards my humble home.
Maybe what I said to Nick was true. Some day, I'll go out and I'll become a famous photographer and Nick and I will meet up again. It's a miracle how we met up tonight. Two lost souls searching for something but when they find eachother, they are found once again. I may never see Nick again, or I may see him numerous more times. Who really knows? All I know is that fate works in mysterious ways.
