Jason Michael Francis de Sales Fellenbaum

 It's 11:42 on a cold, snowy and freezing rain winter storm kina night. So what are you doing with your life? Hello, I'm Jason. You can call me Fellenbaum if you'd prefrer..all those imbetween names were ones I accuired from being a good Catholic kid. Most of you know me, and some of you are little Indian Girls that just got a Gateway computer from the Non-Racial-Discrimination-Poor-Kids-of-American Foundation; and that's wonderful too. But either way, I think if you wanna really get to know me, you can either A) Waste lots of time having pointles conversatiions with me... B)Have some sort of sexual contact with me.. or C)Read a life summary that I make up. ALTHOUGH letter B is the choice that I'd prefer that you take, I understand many or you will pick choice C since you're already here. Wonderful, let's get started.

  Okay so as you can see I was always kind of an odd ball.Okay let's all get it out of our systems...AWWWWW HE'S SO CUTE... Life began on ..well depends..if you think life starts when conseption happens..than life began on top of a bunch of coats during the New Year's Eve Party 1983. If you think like me that life happens sometime imbetween, well then who knows. And if you think life occurs when the baby spits out of thier moms vagaina, well that day would be September 21st 1983. Life was good, early on I showed great promise as a model with stunning poses like these. But living in Willow Valley Apartment Area thing, aparently was a negitive influence on me,   because soon after the cute picture to the right, I started entering the porno buisness with poses to the right.--------->

 After a realitivly unevenfull first 3 years, besides that of my 'wonderful' brother being born, life picked up. Around the wonderful age of 4, I showed my penis to a hot blond named Karen. Actully I had the chicken pox, and that was the most noticable and annoying spot to have a red itchy dot, so I showed her. I think it was that day, when I got the habit of constantly being 'intouch' with myself.

So around the age of 5 I entered the the public school system at Laffyette Elementry school. It was a tuff crowd. One day, a kid hit me with a wooden block, and I said something to him so he started wrestling me. I lost a whole 5 minutes of recess. I was devistated. So finally when my punishment was up, the guys had already started playing football and I wasn't allowed to join.

 After 2 wondeful years with all the city punks I headed off to preppy school, Lancaster Country Day School. My life took a nice nose dive from here. I was in a new school, which I was terribly out of place in. I was a realativly poor kid, surrounded by a bunch of rich snobs like Alexis Sheaffer, Randy Debord, ect. School sucked, and my parents finally announced they were going to get divorced. It was only gonna get uglier.

We'll start with my social life first.... Making friends at school was tough. I didn't play spors with anybody there, I didn't live near any of them, and I couldn't identify with alot of what they new. I never really listened to music so that didn't help much. And being fat didn't help either. I finally got mad at Randy Debord, and called him a "Big Fat Bacon Pig"...I know don't ask me why..well he responded by punching me in the face. I had just learned LESSON #1 in my life. NEVER SAY STUPID STUFF TO BIGGER KIDS. Well, eating lunch sucked too. I was determinded to fit in and hang with the 'cool' kids. So I sat down with all the cool kids even with thier protests. Eventully after years of loserville, I gained semi-respectability. I was called "Not bad." First it was Ricky Supple and then most importantly Brandon Conrad. 6th grade started off bad, with me being, I don't wanna say suicidal, but the thought had crossed my mind 4 or 8 times. But with becoming friends with Brandon, and playing soccer for the school team, things started to look up. I even slept over at Brandon's house, which I hadn't done in ages. Life socially was headed on the way up. Brandon's friendship was odd though. He was extremely rich. And I was well...me. And even though we had very little in common, we got along with each other, and somehow our friendship worked. I'm just sorry we kinda lost contact after a while...but Brandon..thanks.

Okay well imbetween all the sad stuff in life, let's bring in the good news. At sometime, I can't remember exactly when, maybe 1993 or 1992, I won the Great AMerican Stacking Contest sponsered by Turkey Hill. For being able to stack more ice cream on a cone in a minute better than any other doplic Lancaster pre-teen, I won 26 gallons of free Ice Cream. I got to make guest apperances on TV, Political get togethers, and more free Turkey Hill stuff. Life was good, and with all that Ice Cream, I put on some weight. Besides that, I was flying in school, academicly anyway. I was advanced in math, and doing well in everything else. I also got my First Holy Communion, I was such a good church boy, I even became an alter boy. I also was a rebel of sorts. Me and Blake Vazales, one day during recess, stayed inside and tried to do a Thomas Edison like experiment. Instead we just put Comet Clenser in our teachers coffee cup. She drank out of it and well we lost a week of recess.

As for the family life....Good love them all now, as annoying as they all are, my family was a pain in the but back when, especially my father. My parents fought the silent way. There were constant questions being asked through me, and and My father called rarely, and saw us at most 6 times a year, although he lived less than 30 minutes away. I was thrown into therapy, and that didn't help none. So I learned life's LESSON#2....SHRINKS DON'T HELP. My dad hated my mom and yelled at me for it, and my mom hated my dad and yelled at me for it. I don't remember a whole lot about it, cause it hurt, but hey, I'm alive and fine now.

I went on a couple neat vactaions to flodia during my Elementry years too. My aunt worked at Disney World and always got us in for cheap and we got to go to cool places cause of her.

Okay before we push on anyfurther lets see whatother B.S. I can think of in my life, In 1995, I joined 4H. We moved to the Penn Manor School District in 1994.(?) My brother than started terroizing all the students at Central Manor and Hambright. My aunt got married, and I got to go to Flordia for that, and drunk a great deal at the reseption. I was quite drunk, but realized with my Fellenbaum liver and stomach, that I can take anything. I continued to play basketball with the Lancaster Rec...that was hard fought Basketball. The kids from the city know how to play...and I don't care what anybody says..god, I'm starting to lose it ain't I? OH!!!!!!!!!How could I forget! I should be shot. Remember that good old scanky Phillies hat? I got it in in 1995 some time. I don't even remember. But that hat was my life treasure, until Josh McClung and the team took it away from me at Camp, and then went on to lose it!!!!Damn you guys...I'm over it though...I got a cool COMETS hat from Mitch, but I lost that now too, So once again, I'm out hat shopping again.

Well, now onto the parts most of you know. I left LCDS after my 6th grade year, due to lack of funds (suprise, suprise). And I headed to Manor Middle School. I was in G75, the best class alive. There I met many of you that I know, along with soccer and than wrestling after eddie talked me into it. Middle school was a blast. You got to do whatever you wanted and we had cool teachers like Mr. Williams, Mr. Witmer, and Ms. Vogt..haha! Can't forget Mrs. Brown, and all the fun times we had as Peer Helpers...I'm still mistafyed how me and Matt Brown because Peer Helpers..got any ideas Matt?? Peer Helpers Has lots of fun...Danyell remember that snake? =) So all that wondeful Penn Manor stuff happened....(I'll have to make a serperate to put all those cool things on) ...On to other cool stuff I got to do, I went on the EARTHSHUTTLE trip to Flordia in 1998 . Me and Pete hung out down there with Hector..remember that crazy old bat pete?!!Haha. I also got to meet my cousin Davy for the first time down there. That was a fun trip.

So now it's Saturday Febuary 19th, 2000, 1:12AM in the morning. I've got my license, am in the middle of cutting weight for my JV tornyment on Monday. And I'm extremely tired of typing, my brain is exashted. Sorry, to those who have suffered throught reading this page. I appreciate it, maybe we can go up to my room sometime. Someday I'll stop and try and make this page a bit more funny, until that day, Drink a beer, spit on the couch, and laydown till cancer kills ya. Thanks all for stopin by and don't forget to sign the guestbook. -Jason-