[The camera cuts to the interior of Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana. As the camera pans around it picks up tens of thousands of screaming EWI fans waving their signs and sounding off with several chants for their favorite stars while Bionic Jive's "Ricochet" plays throughout the arena. The camera then cuts to Brett Sanders and Garrett MacFarland who are in the announcer's booth getting ready for tonight's action.]
BS: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME! Welcome to Shockwave in Indy and tonight promises to be one Hell of a show! As always I'm Brett Sanders and the man to my right is Garrett MacFarland. How's it going Gary?
GM: The EWI is under SSN rule and life couldn't be better. Nobody getting out of line cause if they do ... it's the SLAMMER!!
[Crazy Town's "Darkside" booms out of the speakers throughout the arena. The crowd begins to boo as the SSN logo appears the Extreme Screen and SSN representative, Marcus Gottfried, walks out from the back and heads to the ring.]
GM (voice over): Whoo hoo! Now THIS is how you a start a show!
BS (voice over): Marcus Gottfried obviously has something to say. What it is I have no idea.
[Gottfried climbs into the ring and is promptly handed a microphone by a ringside attendant.]
MG: Tonight is a VERY big night for the Super Sports Network. Cole Steele will attempt to regain the title he should have never lost, and Eddy Love will at last bring the Extreme World championship into the SSN fold! You see, Indianapolis is MY hometown, and so I wanted to make this night as special as possible. Mister Love has assured me that he will make my homecoming one to remember. Many people have said I should have saved this match for Genesis, but I'm not a patient man, and besides that...I'm in charge! And since I'm in charge, I've decided that tonight's match will have a special guest referee, and that man will be none other than...187!!!
[The crowd boos vehemently. Suddenly, Black Label Society's "No More Tears 2000" begins to play and Chad Dupree appears on the entry ramp. Dupree heads to the ring and climbs in to face Gottfried.]
CD: I didn't know that...about Indianapolis being your hometown. That's actually very touch. A little bit ironic too considering all that's going down tonight. And that brings to me why I'm out here. Knowing the kind of man that you are, I'm sure you'd like tonight's main event to be fairly contested.
MG: Of...of course.
CD: Of course. And that's why I can't let just anyone referee that match. So I was sitting backstage before the show, wondering just what I could do to make this a night to remember for you, and then...it hit me. What that match needs is a special ringside enforcer
[Crowd pops.]
MG: Do you...have someone in mind?
CD: As a matter of fact, I do. I happen to have a little time free, and like you said, you want this match to go down fairly, so what I'm going to do is stand at ringside for that main event! Not only will I make sure that 187 calls it right down the middle, I'll be there to discourage anyone from interfering in the match. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that if anyone NOT involved in the match shows up at ringside, I'll suspend them right there and then!
GM: That...that sounds good.
CD: It sounds fair. So, Marcus....happy homecoming.
[Dupree smiles as "No More Tears 2000" plays once more and then walks back to the production area. Gottfried, appearing a bit flustered, walks backstage a few moments later.]
BS: 187 the ref on the inside and Dupree the ref on the outside! What an announcement!
GM: Damn Dupree is always trying to start trouble. He needs to pay attention to his own federation the NthWA before he thinks up things to do here. Isn't he just a Commish?
BS: That he is, but he's a powerful one. Folks, first up on the show we've got newcomer Jammy Jimmy James and he's set to face Chris Rafter. How about it Gary?
GM: Chris is still looking for his first win and he might just have the chance against JJJ. I feel he's too wrapped up in his music to be a threat at all.
BS: Folks let's go to the ring for our first match tonight at SHOCKWAVE!
The match starts and the two men lock up. James immediately goes downstairs with a knee to the midsection. He then takes Rafter up and over with a vertical suplex. Rafter gets back to his feet but James is there to meet him and takes him down again with an exploder suplex. Rafter rolls out of the ring and starts to leave, but James catches him from behind and gives him a release dragon suplex on the arena floor. James then drags Rafter back to the ring and puts him away with his patented JamPlex.
BS: Jimmy James wasted no time in taking out Chris Rafter with the JamPlex thus making him your winner.
GM: Oh no he's your winner not mine.
BS: Floks we've got plenty more coming up on Shockwave in Indy so don't you DARE go away!
(The lights dim and a confused silence spreads through the capacity crowd in attendance. The opening synthesizer of "Sperate Ways" by Journey kicks in and Sky Suicide, SSN's current Cruiserweight champion emerges, clad in his shiny black robe. The crowd begins to jeer heavily as Sky walks to the ring. Over his shoulder, his brand new SSN Cruiserweight title. As Sky nears the ring, he grabs a microphone and uses the ringside steps.)
SUICIDE: What kind of reaction is that for your CW champ, huh?
(Steps between the ropes to enter the ring.)
SUICIDE: You people know nothing about pure talent. You stand out there, holding your low-budget Hell Fighter signs, cheering for jokers like Cameron Cruise and Evan Aho, but when someone with REAL talent walks the aisle, you throw your garbage at us and put your thumbs down. What's up with that?
Anyhow, how do ya like the new belt?
(Sky holds up his new title and sports a grin from ear to ear.)
SUICIDE: I'll tell you one thing that I'm sure you all can agree with, it's a heck of a lot nicer than that meaningless piece of scrap metal that the EWI called a title.
(Jeering.)
SUICIDE: Say, you folks ever wonder where the belts go when we're finished with 'em? Well, Erik tried to get me to donate it to charity, but I had a better idea. Something to benefit me!
(Sky reaches into his robe and removes a three fingered pair of knuckles. Solid gold, with the letters S-K-Y on the appropriate finger.)
SUICIDE: That's right, take a good long look at what WAS the EWI Cruiserweight title and what WILL be the splitting headache of many wrestlers to come. One punch with these and it's lights out, thats for sure. Heck, each punch comes with a free autograph as well, you won't find a better deal ANYWHERE!!
(The crowd doesn't seem to be as enthused as Sky, who is beaming with happiness as he slips on his new toy.)
SUICIDE: Now, before I head back to the dressing room area to prepare for my match tonight, I should comment on what is about to go down just a little while from now. For some reason, that moron, Ash, decided to be a funny guy and accept my OC for a hair versus hair extravaganza. What a fool. He shows up stroking his shiny bald head and laughs at the fact that he has nothing to lose. Son, you're wrong. You have a lot to lose. You might not have any hair atop your head, but I WILL find something to cut off, hair or not... Just don't make any big plans for my beautiful locks, they are leaving the arena with me tonight.
(Sky slides out of the ring and walks the aisle.)
BS: I can't believe him! How could he do that to the EWI Cruiserweight Belt?
GM: Hey he got a new SSN belt which is the ONLY belt considered the elite in wrestling cruiser status. And ... didn't he have a nice ringset?
BS: Keep laughing it up cause I don't find it amusing.
GM: (Laughing) Okay!
BS: Coming up next we've got two new debut tag teams about to square off against eachother. How about it Gary?
GM: On one side you have Jimmy James friends The Party Animals and on the other you have The Heavy Metal Express. As much as I like Parties I ALWAYS enjoy some Heavy Metal so I'm going with Sinister and McSara.
BS: That's how you view this match?
GM: Yep. That's me.
BS: (rubbing his head) Folks let's just go to the ring for our next match of the night.
Rocking Ray Rodgers and Jimi Sinister start off for their teams. Rocking Ray Rodgers shoots in and gets Jimi Sinister on the ground with a single leg takedown. Rocking Ray Rodgers drops a knee on the left knee of Jimi Sinister. Rocking Ray Rodgers pulls Jimi Sinsiter to his corner and tags in the Rock and Role Kid. The Rock and Role Kid climbs up to and comes off the top rope with asplash on the knee of Jimi Sinsiter. Rocking Ray Rodgers leaves the ring and The Rock and Role Kid pulls Jimi Sinister up to his feet, but Jimi Sinister rakes his eyes. Jimi Sinister pushes The Rock and Role Kid into his corner and Jimi Sinister spits in the direction of Rocking Ray Rodgers. Ray Rodgers tries to get in the ring, but the referee cuts him off, allowing The Heavy Metal Express to double team The Rock and Role Kid. Jimi Sinsiter and Ozzy McSarah hit a double DDT. The referee turns around and Jimi Sinishter leave the ring. Ozzy McSarah hits a backbreaker on the Rock and Role Kid. Ozzy McSarah pulls The Rock and Role Kid up to his feet and goes for a short arm clothesline, but The Rock and Role Kid ducks and catches Ozzy McSarah with a snap suplex. The Rock and Role kid starts to crawl to his corner, but Jimi Sinister rushes in the ring and catches Rocking Ray Rodgers with a forearm. This brings all four members into the ring. Rocking Ray Rodgers catches Jimi Sinister with a Belly to Belly Suplex. The Rock and Role Kid sends Ozzy McSarah over the top rope with a drop kick.
BS: Both teams are giving it their all.
GM: You'd expect any different from talent the SSN brings in?
BS: The SSN? I heard that Erik Zieba had these guys signed.
Rocking Ray Rodgers applies a Camel Clutch and the Rock and Role Kid drop kicks him right in the face. The Referee makes The Rock and Role Kid get out of the ring and restores some order. Rocking Ray Rodgers applies a side headlock, but Jimi Sinister shoots him off into the ropes and Ozzy Mcsarah gets his knee up in the back of Rocking Ray Rodgers. Rocking Ray Rodgers stumbles out and Jimi Sinister hits a DDT. Ozzy McSarah reaches out his hand and Jimi Sinister tags him in. Double Powerbomb by the Heavy Metal Express. Ozzy McSarah goes for the cover. One..Two..Kickout by Rocking Ray Rodgers. Ozzy McSarah pulls Rocking Ray Rogers up to his feet and Ray Rodgers hits a swining neckbreaker and crawls to his corner and tags in The Rock and Role Kid. The Rock and Role Kid climbs up top and comes off with a flying body press. One..Two..Kick out by Ozzy McSarah. The Rock and Role Kid runs to the far ropes and Jimi Sinister pulls down the top rope sending The Rock and Role Kid to the floor. Rocking Ray Rodgers comes in and tackles Ozzy McSarah. The referee is escorting Rockig Ray back to his corner and doesn't see Nicki Rox smash a chair over The Rock and Role Kid's head. Jimi Sinister rolls The Rock and Role Kid in the ring and follows him in. Jimi Sinister brings The Rock and Role Kid up in a suplex and Ozzy McSarah hits a dropkick to The Rock and Role Kid, sending him to the mat. Ozzy McSarah gets the cover. One..Two..Three.
BS: A great show of talent from both sides tonight as The Heavy Metal Express takes the win!
GM: Wait it isn't over yet!
Nicki Rox slides the steel chair into the ring and Jimi Sinister lays out Rocking Ray Rodgers. Jimi Sinister continues to pound on the ribs of Rocking Ray Rodgers, while Ozzy McSarah kicks at The Rock and Role Kid's head. Suddenly Jamming Jimmy James comes to the ring and the Heavy Metal Express leave the ring in a rush. Jimmy James checks on his friends. As The Heavy Metal Express leave the ringside area.
BS: That wasn't necessary at all!
GM: Well it proves that one of these teams was signed by Zieba, but I'll let you guess who it was.
BS: Always the little helper aren't you? Folks we've got to break away, but when we return it'll be Evan Aho defending his title in his first of two matches tonight against Chris Lehew ... NEXT!
[The lights go out and the crowd stirs as "TEAM PHENOM" flashes across the screen causing loud cheers as simultaneously "Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins starts up and Dan Ryan appears at the top of the ramp wearing a t-shirt with "EWI" in the forefront and a shadowy "Extreme" in the background. Ryan makes his way down to the ring, climbs in and heads for a turnbuckle which he climbs and looks out into the crowd as the music dies down.]
DR: "Let's come right to the point. The first round of King of the Cage was completely ridiculous. I can understand the concept of a warm up match but quite honestly last week I didn't even come close to breaking a sweat. This week things will be quite differently however. You see, Ash and I go way way back. We know each other like the back of our hands. Quite frankly, you couldn't come up with a more difficult matchup for me simply because of the familiarity factor. So what we're looking at Ash, is who's gonna make that fatal mistake? But let's not get bogged down in threats and rhetoric when we both know what's really at stake here. And it's a win-win situation here isn't it? See, I imagine Marcus Gottfried breathing a sigh of relief with the two of us meeting each other in the third round because it reduces his chances of see one of us win the big title and hand things back over to Zieba where they belong...."
[crowd pops at mention of Zieba]
DR: "But you and I both know that it doesn't really matter which of us does it as long as it's done. So make no mistake about it. I will come right at you Ash, and it will be a war and more than likely the highlight of the show when the most agile and dangerous big man in the business comes face to face with the one and only Ash. But when it's all over there's one focus and one focus only, and that's on you Gottfried. And Gottfried, you've got this whole idea of how things are around here. You deal in paperwork and legal maneuverings to make and break deals. I feel kinda out of my element here. Thing is, I'm used to dealing in ass kickings. So I guess as an introduction to Dan Ryan 101, I think maybe I'll just break my foot off in your ass. And I think I'll do that....ohhhhh....now."
[Abruptly Ryan climbs out of the ring and heads up the ramp to the backstage area as the crowd goes nuts.]
GM: I don't like him. I don't like what he stands for and .... DAMN I don't like him!
BS: These are people who want to advance into the future of wrestling and not sit in the past like the SSN and Gottfried want to do.
GM: Screw it they can learn something you know.
BS: I hope Gottfried can learn how to run cause Ego Buster is hot on his tracks!
GM: Somebody call security!
BS: It's time for Evan Aho's Television Title defense against Colorado's own, Chris Lehew. Do you have a pick for this match, Gary?
GM: You know, as much as I hate to do it, I'm gonna have to go with Aho on this one. That guy's just on a roll.
BS: No sarcastic comments from you on this one, Gary?
GM: Nah. I'm feeling rather uncreative today.
BS: Well, this should be interesting then. Okay! Our contestants are in the ring and the ref calls for the bell, officially starting this match!
The two combatants circle each other in the ring. Lehew teases a couple of lunges at Aho, but Aho appears unfazed. They eventually lock up and Aho quickly gains the upperhand and takes Lehew down with a dragon screw legwhip. Lehew quickly recovers and charges Aho, who sends Lehew out of the ring with a monkey flip. Aho follows to the outside, but Lehew is to his feet and ready for the oncoming Aho. Lehew takes Aho down with a dropkick, which sends Aho crashing into the ring steps.
BS: Aho is out of his element here. What he needs to do is get back into the ring and do what he does best!
GM: Pork Vicki?
BS: Wha? NO! WRESTLE, you goon! I thought you were uncreative today!
GM: Oh, that didn't take any creativity. That just came natural.
BS: Anyway, back to the match. Lehew slams Aho's face into the steel barricade!
Lehew continues his punishment by whiping Aho into the announce table. He then slams his head onto the table. As Aho wobbles on his feet, stunned, Lehew climbs back onto the ring apron and up the turnbuckle. 450 splash by Lehew! Both men are down. Lehew, of course, is the first to get to his feet. Aho begins to get up on his own, but Lehew decides to help him out by pulling him up by the hair. Lehew rolls Aho into the ring.
BS: That may have been a bad move by Lehew. He's in Aho's house now.
GM: I dunno. Remember that Aho DID beat Ash at his own game to win that title. But... he doesn't seem to be faring too well here.
Lehew picks Aho up and whips him into the ropes. Head scissor takedown by Lehew. Lehew covers.
BS: This could be it! One! Two! Th--NO! Aho kicks out!
Lehew argues with the ref over the count, allowing a weakened Aho to get to his feet. Aho taps Lehew on the shoulder and as Lehew turns around, Aho kicks him in the gut and plants Lehew's skull on the canvas with an implant DDT. Lehew, gets up by his own power and attempts a clothesline on Aho, who ducks it. Aho locks a sleeper hold on Lehew. Lehew eventually reaches the ropes and Aho willingly releases the hold. Aho whips Lehew into the ropes, but Lehew reverses it and attempts to his Aho with a side kick as Aho bounds back, but Aho catches his foot. Lehew counters with a round house kick with his free foot, but Aho ducks it and grabs that foot too, leaving Lehew hanging face down by his lower calves. Aho then lifts the entirty of Lehews weight by his legs and slams Lehew's face into the mat. Aho covers, but Lehew kicks out after two. Lehew gets to his feet and the two men are once again at a stand-off.
BS: Folks, this match could go either way.
The two men lock up but Aho quickly takes Lehew down with a headlock takedown. Lehew bounds to his feet only to be met with a swinging neckbreaker. Aho rolls Lehew up into a schoolboy, but Lehew reverses the move! One! Two!
BS: Aho reverses! One! Two! Th-- Lehew reverses AGAIN! One! Two! Aho kicks out! Both men are up and Lehew nails Aho with a devastating clothesline!
GM: Whoo! Look at Aho bounce around like a Mexican jumping bean on crack! That man went to the Duane Johnson School of Selling!
Lehew stands ready as Aho gets to his feet. Lehew quickly nails Aho with a kick to the gut followed by a DDT. Lehew covers, but Aho quicly kicks out. Lehew whips Aho into the ropes and nails him with a Norther Lights suplex into a bridge for the pin. One! Two! Aho miraculously escapes! Lehew calls for his finisher, Pay Dirt (Sambo Suplex ) and whips Aho into the ropes as a prelude to it. Aho bounds back... and slides under the legs of Lehew, escaping the finisher. He quicly jumps to his feet and takes Lehew down with a belly to back suplex!
BS: Looks like Aho's got his second wind!
Aho pulls Lehew up and whips him into the ropes. Lehew reverses and bounds into the opposing ropes, to attempt a clothesline on Aho, but Aho turns it into a modified Liger bomb! Aho pulls Lehew up and hits an Inverted DDT!
BS: There's the Agony!
GM: And there's the Ecstacy! (Tiger Driver '91) Aho covers but Lehew has his foot on the ropes! Aho pulls Lehew up and Lehew fights back with a series of punches. He whips Aho into the ropes and takes him down with a bulldog!
Lehew goes up top and hits a senton splash on Aho. Lehew covers! One! Two! Aho kicks out! Lehew pulls Aho up and Aho attempts to fight back.
BS: Lehew with a kick to the stomach, it's caught by Evan Aho. Aho with a hard dragon screw leg-whip. He hangs on, lifts Lehew up again and throws a second dragon screw. Chris Lehew hits the mat clutching his right knee.
GM: I suppose this is the technical BS Evan was referring to.
BS: I don't doubt that for a second. Aho wasting no time locks on a Texas Cloverleaf.
GM: Chris' knee is hurt but it looks like Evan can't roll him over--
BS: (interrupting)--Wait! Aho started to turn Lehew but now he flipped over into a bridge! One...two...three! Aho wins, Lehew couldn't kick out!
Aho relinquishes the hold immediately as the bell rings and pops to his feet. His eyes don't leave Lehew who is still down on the mat nursing his knee. Evan brushes past the official, grabs the Television Title Belt and then turns to head back to the locker room.
GM: Lehew gave Aho a helluva fight, but he just couldn't overcome the BEST DAMN technical wrestler in the world today! Prove me wrong!
BS: Are you TRYING to get us sued?
GM: Uh, no. Why do you ask?
BS: (sigh) Nevermind. Folks we've got to break away, but when we come back it'll be Yeh Shen Li versus 'Risqué' Roseanne Fairhurst .... NEXT!!!
[The camera shot moves to backstage outside of Gottfried's office. 187 is standing guard keeping an eye out in both directions when Dan Ryan comes walking up. Ryan looks over and sees a locking device on the door that requires fingerprint verification.]
DR: "How ya doin? Dan Ryan, and yourself?"
187: "You know damn well who I am. And I suggest you take a hike."
DR: "Actually I had something else in mind. I assume that this locking mechanism works whether you're conscious or not...."
[In mid-sentence Dan Ryan drills 187 with a right hand to the jaw, stunning him long enough to give Ryan a chance to sling him into the opposite wall and stomp away at him a few times on the floor, leaving 187 motionless. Ryan drags his limp arm up toward the lock and presses his finger to the fingerprinting apparatus. An audible click can be heard as Ryan turns the knob.]
Gottfried: [slowly looking up] "Good. We need to go over....HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU...."
[Before he can finish the sentence, Ryan reaches over the desk and pulls him up before tossing him into a nearby wall.]
Gottfriend: "WAIT!! Maybe we can cut a deal!!!!"
DR: "Sorry. I never mix business with pleasure..."
[Ryan pulls him to his feet and tosses him back over the desk and follows in with several stomps to his head and midsection. Ryan looks around for a few moments...]
DR: "This oughta do nicely..."
[..picks up a chair and brings it down hard on the back of Gottfried's head]
DR: "Nighty night"
[Ryan walks out the door, chair still in hand, and passes the lifeless 187 and starts to walk away but then thinks twice as 187 starts to stir, he turns around and crashes it down over 187's head]
DR: "Well...that was fun."
[Ryan turns and walks away as he starts whistling..]
BS: Welcome back everyone ...
GM: Someone ... ANYONE ... Arrest Dan Ryan for what he did! That was uncalled for!
BS: I think your cry is falling on deaf years cause Dan Ryan isn't in the building anymore.
GM: Ran like a coward did he? He needed to cause now he' REALLY has some enemies against him!
(The ring area is empty. The crowd is abuzz waiting for the next match. Suddenly, Ruiner jets from behind the curtain down to ringside. He's wearing a black robe, covering his entire body, excluding his head. Ruiner whispers something to the ring announcer. Once finished, Ruiner runs back behind the curtains. The ring announcer then enters the ring.)
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! It is my great privilege to introduce to you the self-proclaimed EWI Tag Team champions, Angelus and Ruiner, the Mechanical Animals!
("Twist" by Korn begins to play over the P.A. system. Lights of all the common colors begin flashing throughout the arena as Angelus and Ruiner make their way out. Angelus is wearing his usual wrestling attire, black leather pants, and a tight long sleeve black shirt, but Ruiner is sporting something unusual. Instead of his usual all black getup, Ruiner has on white ADIDAS shoes, white socks, khaki shorts, an "I Love Britney Spears" t-shirt, and a red New York Yankees cap on backwards. The crowd is laughing hysterically. Following the two are Junon soldiers and policemen. Angelus and Ruiner enter the ring and their entourage surround the ring. Angelus grabs a mic from the ring announcer.)
Angelus: Yo, wazzup Indianapolis!?
(Crowd loudly cheers)
A: And as you all can plainly see, we are now the EWI Tag Team champs!
(The crowd cheers again. Angelus then begins to weep in an obviously fake manner.)
A: *still "weeping"* I'd just like to say it's an honor to represent the pro-EWI faction as their tag champs!
(The crowd cheers once more)
A: *regains himself* First and foremost, as you can see, we have some of Indianapolis' finest with us. Why? Well, to protect our titles of course! You know as well as I do that these are the crowns of the tag division! Besides, seeing as how these titles belong to us now any SSN attempt to abduct them would be "Illegal". And we all know Gottfried and TI would both give their right arms for them! Though they say otherwise!
(Crowd erupts into cheers of agreement)
A: TI may have those white trash SSN belts, but we have the true titles! We represent EZ, TDC, and all those other EWIites out there!
(Angelus cocks a sly smile.)
A: Whether they like it or not! ....partner?
(Ruiner takes the mic from Angelus and before he speaks, the crowd loudly laughs and hoots.)
Ruiner: What y'all laughin' at?!
(The crowd bust their guts as they laugh hard from the change in Ruiner's dialect.)
R: Anyway! Y'all know I gots gold 'round my neck, on my fingers, and on my wrists! Now, thanks to Gottfried, he's given me what I shoulda gotten a while ago, EWI tag gold 'round my waist!
(The crowd pops into cheers and slight laughs)
R: Hey yo! Now, y'all know MA be representing EWI and I know Indianapolis, Indiana EWI country, so let me hear it!
(The crowd erupts into eardrum-bursting cheers)
R: Now, I also know y'all be eyein' my new kicks and threads, ponderin' my new look. Well, I just got to say I did it all for da nookie!
(Crowd pops)
R: Rollin', rollin', rollin'!
(The crowd laughs)
R: I WANNA BREAK STUFF!!
(The crowd bursts into cheers)
(Ruiner tosses the mic back to Angelus.)
A: Thanks Fred for entertaining us all, but you've had your fifteen minutes and you must go!
(Angelus pushes "Fred" back and he falls over the top rope to the floor. A Junon soldier picks "Fred" up and takes him to the backstage area.)
A: Finally! Don't you just hate that Fred guy?! He's more annoying than that crap MTV calls entertainment!
(The crowd erupts in cheers)
A: Now, I'd like you all to welcome the absolute best looking woman in pro-wrestling! The future Mrs. Jessica Dumont!
BS: Did he just say future Mrs. Dumont!? Does that mean what I think it does!?
GM: Who cares Bret!? Did you see that promo these two did where they "edited" Meltdown!?
BS: Yes. So?
GM: Nevermind!
(The lights dim as NIN's "We're In This Together" cues up. Blue and Red lights begin flashing as Jessica emerges from the curtain. She's wearing black leather pants and a tanned colored Metallica shirt. She makes her way down to a sea of cheers, most of the male fans can be heard hooting and whistling. Jessica walks up the steps and Angelus holds the bottom rope as she enters the ring.)
A: Now, first off we have an announcement.
(The fans cheer at an almost deafening level.)
A: So, you know what I'm going to say?
(The fans continue there loud chorus of cheers.)
A: (smiling) Ok, ok. Now, I'm sure you're all expecting to see an in-ring proposal, am I right?
(The crowd erupts.)
A: Well.....you're wrong. In a sense at least. You see, I already proposed a couple of days ago. Of cours,e she accepted. So, this is our "official" announcement. Jessica and I are engaged.
(The crowd once again erupts.)
A: I'm sure you're assuming we're going to have a televised or in-ring wedding, but again I must say that you're wrong.
(The crowd boos.)
A: Now, now. I'm sure you're all wondering why I even brought this up. Well, seeing as how this was MA's big "title celebration" I figured it would make our celebration that much sweeter!
(The crowd cheers again and Jessica takes the mic. The crowd becomes even louder.)
J: Thank you! I would just like to thank all of MA's fans for your support! Thank you all!
(The crowd erupts and Jessica hands the mic back to Angelus.)
A: Now, back to buisness, MA's issuing a challenge! This will be our first title defense! Any team that wants a shot at the EWI titles come down to the ring now!
(With that The Metalheads, Will Stag and Sam Magnum run down to ringside. Angelus puts his hand out out in as a signal to stop and The Metalheads stop.)
A: So, you two want a shot?
(Stagg grabs a mic.)
Will: Damn right!
A: Well, you're hardly worthy but, as you wish.
(Angelus kisses Jessica and hands her his belt as she exits the ring. Will and Sam enter as the bell rings. Ruiner has yet to return.)
BS: Well, looks like we have ourselves a match here!
GM: Yeah, I'm rooting for The Metalheads.
The bell rings as Will enters the ring to start things off. Ruiner is still conspicuous by his absence. Shortly after the bell rings, Will charges Angelus and preforms a spear, catching Angelus off guard. Will then stands up and raises his arms in the air while playing to the crowd. Angelus then smiles and gets back to his feet. Will still has his back facing Angelus as Angelus approaches Will. Sam then begins to attempt to get the attention of his partner, he finally does and as soon as Will spins around he's planted with a DDT. Angelus pulls himself to his feet. Angelus is obviously in no hurry. As Will begins to stand Angelus turns to Sam Magnum and punches him knocking him off the apron. Will then trys to approach a distracted Angelus from behind, he runs and Angelus side steps him as Will falls through the ropes.
BS: Angelus seems to be losing little energy in this match.
GM: Boring.
Will then pulls himself back into the ring. Angelus grabs him by the hair, pulls him to his feet, and tosses him into the ropes. Will comes off the opposite side as Angelus charges Will and hits him with a high knee to the face. Angelus then grabs a fallen Will's hand and drags him to the corner. Angelus ascends the turn buckle, plays to the crowd, and finally preforms an "Omnisplash" (450 Splash.) Angelus goes for the cover and gets a two count as Sam breaks the pin. Soon after, Ruiner runs back to the ring, but wearing his usual wrestling attire.
BS: Ruiner has now joined the fray!
GM: Where's Fred? I'd rather see him right now than these four guys.
Ruiner begins hitting Sam with stiff rights and lefts, knocking him back towards the ropes. Ruiner takes a step back and then jumpkicks Sam in the chest, which sends him sailing over the top rope to the floor. Ruiner yells at Angelus to do "The Speed of Pain". Angelus complies as he lifts Will up and hits him with the "Angel's Touch" (Evenflow) and Ruiner quickly follows with a Swanton Bomb. Angelus covers Will as the ref makes a slow three count.
BS: And the Mechanical Animals quickly dispose of The Metalheads! Kinda like they did with TI.
GM: Dispose of TI? MA didn't defeat Tribal Instinct. Tribal Instinct are our SSN Tag Team champions, mind you!
BS: True, but from what I've heard, the Mechanical Animals are the EWI Tag Team champions.
GM: Those belts are defunct! They say EWI on them, which means they're worthless!
BS: All the other titles have EWI on them, so they're worthless too?
GM: Don't ask me! I don't do anything but call matches with a dork like you! Ask Gottfried, he knows all! Besides this match was a farce and you know it!
BS: Either way the match still counts and MA are the winners ...
GM: ... But not the TRUE Tag Team Champions!
BS: Folks coming up next we've got a battle of the ladies as Yeh Shen Li takes on Roseanne Fairhurst. How about it Gary?
GM: When Fairhurst stuck her big nose in Twin Phoenix business it was wrong because EVERYONE knows she's jealous. I hope Li lights her ass up!
BS: And on that kind note let's go to the ring for our next match!
Yeh Shen makes her entrance first, receiving a nice face pop from the crowd. Out next is Fairhurst who stops at the top of the entrance ramp and gestures to the back. Miso walks out and joins her and the two ladies then walk down to the ring. Miso remains on the outside as Fairhurst climbs in. The referee calls for the bell and the match begins. Shen and Fairhurst tie up. Shen gains the advantage and hiptosses Fairhurst. Fairhurst pops back up, only to be armdragged back down. Shen applies an armbar but Fairhurst goes to the eyes to break the hold.
BS: Ow. Roseanne Fairhurst is one mean little vixen.
GM: I like 'em feisty. Get 'er girl!
Fairhurst slams Shen down hard and then drops an elbow. She covers but gets only a one-count. Fairhurst whips Shen to the ropes but commits herself to a backdrop too soon and ends up taking a thrust kick to the face. Fairhurst staggers into the ropes and Shen unleashes a series of kicks to her midsection.
BS: Those kicks from Yeh Shen could easily break a rib!
GM: She'll have to break more than that if she wants to keep Fairhurst down.
Shen goes for an Irish whip but Fairhurst reverses it and attempts a clothesline. Shen ducks under the clothesline and sets herself for another thrust kick but Fairhurst side-steps this one and boots Shen in the midsection. She drops Shen with a DDT and covers her, but gets only two. Fairhurst follows up with a vertical suplex and then signals to Miso.
BS: What's up with this?
GM: Hey, Miso and Rose are two devious ladies and they're not above bending the rules. They hang around with Apocalypse and Kevin Powers for God's sake!
Fairhurst chokes away on Shen, breaking the choke only when the referee's count reaches four. Fairhurst begins arguing with the referee and this distraction provides Miso with an opportunity to climb up on the apron and execute a springboard senton bomb onto Shen.
BS: WOW! I can't believe Miso pulled that off!
GM: That was a beautiful move!
As she slides out of the ring, Fairhurst goes for the cover. The referee goes to the make the count, but suddenly Trynyty runs down and climbs up on the apron, distracting him once more. Tynyty tells the referee about Miso's involvement but he says he saw nothing. Fairhurst gets in Trynyty's face and argues with her as Yeh Shen gets to her feet.
GM: Rose! Watch your back, girl!
BS: Roseanne Fairhurst needs to learn to concentrate on the match!
Yeh Shen charges Fairhurst from behind but Fairhurst suddenly steps aside and the two members of Twin Phoenix collide. Trynyty is knocked to the floor. Fairhurst spins Shen around and delivers a spinebuster.
BS: Spinebuster! That's gotta be all!
On the outside, Miso and Trynyty have begun to battle it out. Miso attempts to send Trynyty into the steel post head-first, but Trynyty reverses and it's Miso who meets the steel. The referee rolls out of the ring to check on her and once again Fairhurst and Trynyty argue.
BS: This is as wild as a match involving men!
GM: Worse! These women could have the power of PMS on their side possibly!
BS: Ugh. I'm not touching that one.
Fairhurst tries to slap Trynyty but it's blocked and Trynyty nails a face crusher. Trynyty rolls out of the ring as Shen picks Fairhurst up and delivers her Fire Bomb finisher. The referee rolls into the ring and counts the three.
BS: Yeh Shen did it! She beat Roseanne Fairhurst!
GM: This...this is a travesty!
BS: We've got to go to a break, but when we return it's gonna be Ricky Payne taking on Waz Up ... NEXT!!!
BS: Welcome back everyone. Before our next match Victoria McCave had a chance to get a few words with Cancer earlier in the day and ....
GM: That tramp found Cancer? Oh what a story if you're not paying attention! (laughing) Somebody call Evan and get him checked out!
BS: Sick. Totally sick. Let's go to the interview.
(Victoria McCave approaches Cancer as he enters the backstage area of the arena He's in his street clothes and sunglasses. He is obviously showing the effects of his most recent cage match.)
VMcC: Cancer, wre heard you suffered serious head trauma after you King Of The Cage tournament match.
C: That's true Vickie. I had a severe concussion. Most of the time up until now has been a blur. I've just been cleared to compete.
VMcC: Well lately you haven't been to successful here in EWI what are your plans for the future.
C: Well right now I......
(Cancer approaches his locker and opens it. A familiar stuffed green frog sits on the top shelf. Taped to it is a note that says "Frogs cure Cancer. I'm coming for you.")
C: What the hell is this? Did you have something to do with this McCave?
VMcC: I....uh...no......
C: This interview is over!!!!!!
(Cancer grabs his bags and storms out of the arena)
GM: What was that a-boot?
BS: Making fun of Canadians again?
GM: Hey you said it not me.
BS: Next up folks we've got Ricky Payne taking on Waz Up. How about it Gary?
GM: There has been some heated words between these two and I'm actually, don't ask me why, looking foward to this match.
BS: Then let's go to the ring cause this match is ready to go!
Ricky Payne gets the advantage with a knee to the midsection and follows it up with a knee lift. Waz Up staggers backwards and Ricky Payne rushes in but is caught with a clothesline that sends Ricky Payne to the mat. Waz Up follows the clothesline up with a elbow to the chest of Ricky Payne. Waz up goes for the cover. One..Kick Out by Ricky Payne. Waz Up gets up to his feet and pulls Ricky Payne up to his feet and irish whips Ricky Payne into the far ropes, Ricky Payne ducks a clothesline and comes off the far ropes with a flying clothesline of his own. Waz Up rolls to the floor and Ricky Payne comes flying over the top rope with a somersault plancha that send both men to the floor. Waz Up seems to be holding his right ankle. Ricky Payne slowly gets to his feet and drop kicks Waz Up in the right knee and Waz Up falls back to the floor. Ricky Payne throws Waz Up back in the ring and climbs up to the top rope and comes flying off with a flying elbow drop, but Waz Up rolls out of the way and Ricky Payne hits nothing but the the mat. Waz Up limps around as Ricky Payne shakes his left arm, trying to get the pain out of it. Waz Up kicks at the down Ricky Payne. Waz Up off the ropes and drops a knee across the sternum of Ricky Payne. Waz up with the cover. One..Two...Kick Out by Ricky Payne. Waz Up climbs up to the ropes, but Ricky Payne is up to his feet and pushes Waz Up's legs out from under him, causing Waz Up to crotch the top rope. Ricky Payne climbs up on the rope and throws Waz Up off the top rope with a Top Rope Hurricanranna. Ricky Payne goes for the cover. One...Two...Thr.foot on the bottom rope. Ricky Payne raises his hand thinking he won the mat, the referee tells him that Waz Up's feet were on the bottom rope and Ricky Payne comes down with full force on Waz Up's knee. Waz Up screams out in pain as Ricky Payne climbs up to the top rope and comes off the top rope with a moonsault. Ricky Payne hooks the leg. One..Two..Three.
BS: Ricky Payne is your winner, but Waz Up put up a battle did .... oh what's going on now!
{Suddenly, from behind the curtain, Tommy Payne, Justin Sane, and Jonathon Davis come running out and they attack Waz Up as soon as they hit the ring.}
BS: This is uncalled for!
GM: The SLC is, once again, making a name for themselves and in CLASSIC fashion!
BS: Tommy has Waz Up on his knee with Ricky leaping off the top rope .... SIX FEET UNDER!! He damn near snapped his neck off!
GM: Here comes the SSN Security. They'll restore order.
BS: But the damage has been done as The St. Louis Calab-O are celebrating all the way back up the ramp. Folks we've got to break away, but when we return it's gonna be Darkness versus .... Darkness?
GM: Yes you read it right.
BS: Don't go away!