i held her on my shoulder
her life rolled gently down her cheek
and dispersed slowly
through the fabric of my shirt
i didn't know what was wrong
and though i asked
she could only shake her head
 she couldn't say
  she couldn't talk
for the pain she felt was beyond words
and her heart was frozen stiff
she couldn't let me know
what it was she felt
couldn't expose the weakness
  the soft spot
in her armor
she'd raised her defenses high
and forgotten how
to drop the shields
her pain was filthy
but it was hers
 she could not share it
she would only let it out
one drop at a time
on her own time
in her own world
she'd watch her pain flow away
one scarlet drop
  before the next
she'd slowly measure her healing
   in scars
self-inflicted wounds
that marked a trauma
  each held a story
that couldn't be told
   (only felt)
but i didn't understand
i thought she knew how to deal
i thought she knew how to heal
i thought i could help
but i was only a stepping stone
for her to move on
to learn
that pain comes not in drops of red
   but in the salt
     of her eyes