TRUMP NOT AN AMERICAN
The RIND Corporation is reportedly shocked at the latest news developments regarding Trump’s nationality.
“When we heard how he was undercutting support of the American dream – a stable, middle-class life – that was like a red flag to us. It made us stop and think – have we perhaps gotten an alien elected?” asked Jim Faschner, a chief analyst at RIND.
“We likely have a man who has come in with terrorist intentions,” he continued.
“In the last three days we’ve been investigating various sources, past contacts, residences, businesses. There are gaps in information. We are trying to determine what he’s hiding, what his nationality truly is, and why his fake birth certificate has not been exposed.”
Bill Pilisos, political desk liaison, was more explicit:
“Why is there still information missing that we haven’t yet obtained? Why has their camp been allowed to withhold data regarding his true nationality? Why haven’t we learned of his secret meetings with US Nazi party leaders? What is the true sum of payments he’s made to his army of protestors?”
When asked about the latter, Pilosos only pointed to a bank statement for October on which several payments were made to AJAXE.
“At first we thought these were some cleaning fees for his hotels or other. It turns out this is an organization, ‘Americans Just Aren’t Xenophobic Enough.’ They showed up at Trump rallies to shout support and to Clinton rallies to cause trouble. They’re all unemployed except for AJAXE, but make $9.47/hr. through a series of shell organizations all owned by You-Know-Who.”
Phone calls to Trump headquarters were not returned.
Source material for this article is on http://angelfire.com/cop/frf/trump
-------------> SATIRE -----------------
