Session Start: Fri Jul 10 00:02:30 1998 DCC Chat session - Client: xwing (207.150.72.42) - Acknowledging chat request... DCC Chat connection established - wassup? [0:02] i just need one thing [0:02] is no doubt fan [0:02] in utv? i dunno [0:02] ok my netscape is fucked [0:02] oh and i aint your spy [0:03] ok ok [0:03] but she sent me 3 pms today [0:03] of stuff i sent her months ago that she had saved on her computer dont come to me askin for help and stuff...expecting me to do it [0:03] ok [0:03] i just have to avoid her [0:03] i'm sorry your netscape is messed up no biggie [0:04] tahts better [0:04] i dont know why i had that name [0:04] i dont know why i had that name<---it wont change on my end of the dcc [0:04] oh [0:05] ok well i'm fixxxer1 now - DCC session closed Session Close: Fri Jul 10 00:05:23 1998 Session Start: Fri Jul 10 00:05:12 1998 DCC Chat session - Client: fixxxer1 (207.150.72.42) - Acknowledging chat request... DCC Chat connection established - lol [0:05] now [0:05] whats so funny just that you re-dcced for no reason [0:06] i've been thinking about? [0:06] i'm still xwing? nooo but the name didn't matter [0:06] oh ok [0:06] i dont matter at all do i noone said that [0:07] look renee [0:07] remember my mom if you didn't matter, no one woulda wasted the time tryin to straighten you out yeah i remember how is she? [0:08] this things slow [0:08] i guess i'm slow...in several other chats at the mo [0:09] ok [0:09] you remember?! [0:09] look she's still going through treatment.....we dont know much else about the cancer? yes [0:09] she's still working and stuff she just goes to chemotherepy [0:10] once a month [0:10] it sucks [0:10] she could die yuck...hope it's helping :( [0:10] and i really have a hard time ummm [0:10] showing her nick... you gotta drop the wall you put up let her KNOW you love her [0:11] i can't [0:11] i ummmmm she really needs that now ya know? [0:11] i try in other ways [0:11] i know its lame [0:11] and stuff [0:11] i just wish i could go away you can't run from reality [0:12] it sucks she should not have cancer she didn't smoke or anything life isn't always fair nick [0:12] breast cancer not caused from smoking though i guess it can be, but not usually [0:12] oh well i'll go if u want me to i didn't say that [0:13] well why don't u say what you wanna say then [0:14] i've been doing things around the house... i do say what i wanna say you've been helping out and stuff? [0:15] sorta [0:15] i wish i was alone [0:15] in my own place [0:15] where no one could bother me hmmm sounds to me like you just don't wanna deal with the real world [0:16] it sucks [0:16] bigtime [0:17] i dont know if this thing wiht my mom is an excuse for me to treat you so bad........ [0:17] its not well... we all go thru bad times, and i know this has to be way difficult but you're right, it's no excuse to treat anyone badly [0:18] i dont know anymore... [0:19] i'm just so pissed all the time yeah... you need a positive way to vent that counceling [0:20] renee i can't do that [0:20] i dont have money for that check at the school brb [0:21] school... [0:21] renee i'm [0:21] sorry are you? brb [0:22] yeah [0:23] Can you understand at all [0:23] my parents raised me to be against all this stuff.... back but your an adult now and hopefully capable of making your own decisions i think it's great you don't smoke/drink/do drugs where you've crossed the line is infringing on others' rights to make their own decisions [0:25] i am making my own choices... [0:25] ohhhh know what i mean? just like it's wrong for people who do drink to push it on you it's also wrong for you to treat others that way you understand what i mean? [0:26] yes [0:27] i can't stand this anymore.... [0:27] i mean [0:27] i went like a week and a half without talking to you or anyone else.. [0:27] i missed you so bad [0:27] i came on to utv everday and i had 0 pms.. are you sorry you lost your friends or sorry you treated them so badly? [0:28] i'd come on here and stuff but i was afraid to dcc u [0:28] i dont know [0:29] i missed you so bad. ahhh well i missed the nick i used to know the one who was NICE [0:29] u did yeah, but i dunno if he was real or not anymore [0:30] you used to tell me i was cute or good looking but like the other day you said i was ugly i've seen a side of you that truly sickens me nick i was being nasty [0:31] so what do you really think you also said i deserve to die, do you mean that? [0:31] NO [0:32] just that [0:32] i dont knwo [0:32] what i fail college next month you're a decent looking guy...but a lot of what makes up how i look at someone is what i think of them as a person [0:33] oh what i fail college next month<--huh? [0:35] what if i fail college you wont you didn't fail HS did you? [0:36] hell no [0:36] i didnt' [0:36] but this is gonna be hard well why would you fail college? [0:36] i'm taking hard classes just study [0:36] 14 hours a week and pay attention in class wow, good for you :) [0:37] 14 hours is good?!?!? [0:37] i'm so scared you'll be fine nick [0:37] i go 3 days a week [0:37] so tuesday and thursdays i dont have to go [0:38] did you say you start college soon? [0:38] where? right now it's just an emt refresher course through the hospital getting my certification back [0:40] oh [0:40] so [0:40] you used to be a nurse? an EMT emergency medical tech [0:41] you used to ride in ambulances?! never got a job with it only ambulance time was my clinical time. [0:42] oh ok [0:43] so waht do u want to do i could have though [0:43] those jobs look like nightmares i'm looking at jobs at the hopital hospital it's my kinda work...i enjoy it [0:43] yeah you and rhonda [0:43] she things deliverying babies is great?! [0:43] ewwwwwwwwwwwww [0:44] i would pass out and puke a girl had a kid in PH bathroom in alaska twas kick ass [0:44] PH?!?! [0:45] public health? noo pizza hut [0:45] ohh [0:45] ok [0:45] well [0:45] i guess there's only 1 thing left to ask u what's that? [0:46] * fixxxer1 cries [0:47] i want you to be my friend again [0:47] please [0:47] please [0:47] where is becky nick, i can't be friends with bigots and racists...it disgusts me too much i dunno where becky is if you treated people withthe same respect they treated you, then i'd have no prob [0:48] no renee [0:48] so [0:48] what are we i dunno nick [0:49] i dont know either [0:49] i was harsh i eggagerated alot basically cuz i dunno WHO you are [0:49] but [0:50] you'll still talk to me so your my friend ummm maybe i talk to a lot of people acquaintances, etc [0:51] what do you want me to do i dunno nick what you do is not up to me nor is how you act and who you are [0:53] well why can't u accept the fact that some people have diffrent views on race and other things because i can't accept hate that's my own prejudice i can't deal with hateful people [0:55] well [0:55] i'm screwed [0:56] i have to be at work in 8 hours... [0:56] sucks when i have to work till midnight then be back at 10:00 in the morning the next day yuck [0:57] so your not afraid of college or whatever your going to nah why be afraid? [0:57] i am scared it's not gonna help you to worry, only hinder [0:57] my best friend kris enrolled today [0:58] we have no classes together [0:58] i told him to get the same classes as me but nooooo [0:58] he didnd't listen to me [0:58] he didn't wanna take college algebra and chemistry [0:58] i'm kinda pissed [0:58] i wont know anyone! you'll meet people it's not too hard :) [0:59] yeah just like in highschool! nah college has less cliques and more dif kinds of people [1:00] whatever [1:00] i'm diffrent all right [1:00] plus my mom works there *yikes* it'll be ok you prolly wont see her at all becky is here now [1:01] oh [1:01] i need to sleep but i wont b able to if...i dont do something [1:02] i've gone on 3 or 4 hours of sleep before i can do it again me too [1:03] look [1:03] i'm trying to be nice again [1:04] you didn't tell her? i told her but you owe her a LOT you were way cold and mean :( [1:05] yeah but nick, she aint gonna forget that too easily nor will anyone else [1:05] ok ok you owe a lot of people apologies [1:06] well listen ones you MEAN, not just words [1:06] maybe when i'm gone for a while it will be good no nick that changes nothing [1:07] maybe [1:07] i shouldn't have told you i was going on that trip [1:07] maybe then you'd wonder what happened to me cuz i'll be gone for 2 weeks [1:07] suicide! i thought you went already actually [1:08] no [1:08] july 16-29 ahhh [1:08] that week and a half when i didn't chat with you i was HERE nick, you can't make me feel guilty...i hope you realize that [1:08] i was so sad yeah i saw you enter utv [1:09] i was at my grandma's for 4rth of july but the thing is, i dont think you're sorry you HURT people [1:09] i came back i hadn't checked pms for 3 or 4 days [1:09] i came back i had 0 [1:10] it makes me think [1:10] but [1:11] well hell [1:11] what would my mom think if she knew i was chatting with u.. [1:11] someone who gets drinks and shit [1:11] and then becky and jesse well.. none of us has EVER pushed it on you have we? [1:12] i feel left out and so what should i do why left out? [1:12] i feel left out so i just try and go away my life doesn't revolve around drinking i drink on occasion, and i couldn't care less if others do or don't as long as if they do, the drink safely [1:14] course my parents hardly have any friends at all if they're like that it's no wonder [1:15] lol i wouldn't be friends with my parents either they are no fun! lol nobody likes teir rents their [1:16] am i at least making progress i'm trying good :) that's the best news i've heard all day [1:17] really? yes [1:18] i told ya bout stephanie right [1:18] she is my friend at work yep [1:18] she told me she got hooked up with that guy she likes coool [1:18] at least i thik thats what she said we were waaaay busy at work today i didnt' have time to chat hehe [1:19] trevor is way older then her but oh well [1:20] she said she hasn't been able to reach traci(the girl i like) [1:20] THEY ARE FRIENDS THOUGH! Session Close: Fri Jul 10 01:24:30 1998 Session Start: Fri Jul 10 01:23:25 1998 DCC Chat session - Client: fixxxer2 (207.150.74.131) - Acknowledging chat request... DCC Chat connection established - [1:23] sorry get booted? [1:23] lost connection [1:23] yeah [1:23] did u see my last post...about ummmm [1:23] why was stephanie so obsessed with finding out who i liked [1:23] i mean begging me [1:19] trevor is way older then her but oh well [1:20] she said she hasn't been able to reach traci(the girl i like) [1:20] THEY ARE FRIENDS THOUGH! that's what i got [1:24] oh ok [1:24] so why did stephanie harrass me so bad to find out who i liked [1:25] she likes trevor [1:26] so whats the deal i dunno chicks are like that nosey [1:27] i tried to assume she liked me but i knew she doesnt she likes trevor [1:27] she was not gonna let me do ANYTHING until i told her...good thing the manager didn't see her [1:28] she siad traci doesnt have a boyfriend [1:28] she is gonna find out if traci likes me i hope cool [1:31] i've got money 4 stuff.....to bad i go to greece in a week [1:31] i'm running outta time [1:31] she'll forget about me for sure [1:32] she'll forget about me if she even thinks about me in the first place which i doubt nah you're just goin 2 weeks [1:33] i just better tell her and everyone else so they dont think i'm dead [1:33] or that i quit/got fired hehe, good idea [1:34] dang it [1:34] maybe ummmmmm [1:34] well if things go ok maybe i could get traci to give me her address [1:35] i could send her a postcard from greece.. [1:35] i doubt i'll b brave enouhg to do that that'd be cool [1:36] i wish u lived here [1:36] i'd bring u something back [1:36] i'll probably buy at least postcards or somethign for people i dnot know [1:36] stuffs cheap over there at least i think so cool [1:38] what should i do i mean u think its ok if stephanie tells traci i like her? sure, why not? [1:39] just making sure [1:40] i wonder what traci will think....she probably doesnt know who i am [1:40] even though i say hi to her and try to flirt with her all the time i'm sure she knows who you are [1:41] i fucking hope so [1:44] i can always just avoid her to i'm good at it nah, dont do that [1:46] why not why should ya? [1:47] if she doesnt like me then i'm gonna have to avoid her like the plague so she will think i dont like her either [1:50] dang it renee what? [1:51] u get what i'm saying [1:52] if i find out traci doesnt' like me then i'm gonna have to avoid her like the plague so she will think i dont like her either [1:52] does that make any sense or not! nope so what if she don't like you? [1:53] so if you know some guys likes you and you dont like him you'd still associate with him?! yes [1:55] why [1:58] RENEE [1:58] u said [1:58] "SO WHAT IF SHE DOESNT LIKE ME"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [1:58] WTF [1:58] renee thats pretty fucking cold huh?