WHAT'S MY LINE PART ONE:

AUTHOR's NOTE: Takes place within What's My Line Part 1. It picks up from the scene where Giles is telling Xander to go check on Buffy.

This is part three of three. The last interlude. Yay.

The title was taken from the Cranberries album "Everyone Else Is Doing It So Why Can't We?" and the quote is taken from "Tequile Sunrise" by the Eagles off of the "Hell Freezes Over" album.

DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations seen on the show belong to Joss Whedon. The others to me.

"Xander? No, no, I..I haven't heard from Buffy yet. Look..look I think you should go to her house and check on her."

"Sure, G-Man..when do you want me to go?" Xander Harris asked, talking through a yawn. One look over at his digital clock showed it to be just before six in the morning. Light was just starting to stream out over the fading darkness of the night.

"Well uh..well, right away." Giles replied over the phone, sounding more than just a tad bit distracted.

"How do I get there, Giles? My parents aren't even awake yet for me to ask to borrow the car." Xander protested lightly. Not to mention it was far too cold outside to walk the mile to his friends' house.

"I..I don't know," Giles stammered, "Get Cordelia to drive you." And with that he hung up the phone, not willing to listen to any argument the boy might have.

As Xander settled the phone back into it's cradle, he snorted derisively. Easy for Giles to say. Cordelia. Man, this was so not the way he wanted to start his morning out.

Shaking his head, he stood up from his bed and crossed over to his dresser. He pulled the top drawer open and removed a white sheet of paper. Scrawled on it in black ink was his personal phone book. Scowling, he glanced to the bottom and saw in his own print: Bride of Satan, Queen Cordelia. He traced his finger over it and then went back over to his bed and picked up the phone.

Normally she wouldn't have been on the paper. Ever since Kindegarten she'd been the bane of his existance..needling, pushing, insulting. He'd snapped once and tried to take her on but his timing had been all wrong.

But things were different now. Cordelia was different. Oh sure, she tried not to admit it but he'd seen the truth..well something like such..Cordelia wasn't quite the psycho self-absorbed bitch she wanted everyone to think she was. Ever since she'd become something of a fringe Slayerette, things had been different.

That didn't mean he wanted to deal with her at six in the morning.

"The things I do for you, Buff." Xander muttered. He dialed her number quickly and then waited.

It rung. Once. Twice. Three times. Hell, even the sound of her phone ringing was pretentious. Or maybe that was just his imagination.

"This had better be important," a very tired and grumpy sounding Cordelia muttered over the phone.

"Hey, Cor..top of the morning to you," Xander chirped, deciding to annoy her while he had the advantage.

"You have three seconds, make that two to explain why I shouldn't hang up on you and then tell everyone at school that you're stalking me." Cordelia growled. Okay, so she wasn't a morning person. Noted and filed away.

"I need your help," Xander replied simply as he stood up and trailed the phone across the room toward the stack of freshly washed clothing his mom had piled next to door.

"Use the professional strength zit-cream. You've got a severe case," she replied, sounding irritated.

"Like you can talk," he muttered. Then he reminded himself..this was about Buffy. "No, seriously..I need a ride."

"Where? The loony bin? We better hurry..they fill up on occupants fast this time of year although I'm sure in your case, they could make an exception."

"Ooh, Cor..you've been reading those motivational speaker pamphlets on making everyone around you think you're smart..I'm so proud."

"Stuff it, Harris..why do you need a ride and where and most importantly, what do I get out of it?"

"See that's what I was waiting for..I mean, we went an entire what six or seven sentences without bringing it back to you..must be a record."

"I don't need this. Not at six in the morning. I'm going back to.."

"Wait," Xander said sharply. Even separated by a phone line, Cordelia could still hear him take a deep breath before he proceded, "I'm sorry. I need your help though. Buffy's in some trouble and I need to check on her."

"Buffy's in trouble? What else in new?" Cordelia grumbled.

"Forget it..nevermind..I'll walk.."

"No..I'll be there in ten minutes," she said quickly. "Ten minutes. Be waiting." She hung up without waiting for an answer and then stared at the phone..why the hell did she keep allowing herself to get into these messes with them? What kept dragging her back even though continued association with the loser squad threatened her very way of life..not to mention her acutual life?

Xander shut the door to his house softly behind him. The last thing he wanted to do was answer questions on why he was leaving so early. He strode across the front walk to the sidewalk where Cordelia was parked. On the sidewalk. Literally. He opened the door to her red luxury car and slid in.

"You know, my parents aren't too big on having tire marks on the lawn," he said dryly. She shot him a venomous look.

"Let's go."

"You know where Buffy's house is?" Xander asked, somewhat suprised.

"Yeah," she muttered by way of reponse. After a moment she looked at him. "You so owe me for this. So why don't we start with what's going on."

"Um, abridged version..bad men with bad teeth stole a decoder cross from a tomb and we don't know exactly what's it for but we know it ain't good. Meanwhile, someone has siced a bunch of assasins on Buffy and no one has seen her since Giles told her yesterday."

"Oh, well I guess that makes some sense." Cordelia murmured thoughtfully.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh..Harmony saw Buffy attack Oz yesterday. Said she was nuts..doing the whole Cruella DeVil routine."

"One you personally know quite well I imagine," Xander muttered. She shot him a look.

Cordelia sighed loudly,"How do you people keep getting yourselves..and me into these messes. I mean..do you know how much you guys have cost me in dry-cleaning bills alone?"

Xander laughed and shook his head. "Ah, good ol' Cordelia." He looked out the window as the car pulled up in front of Buffy's house. Ignoring the sudden sense of dread that overcame him he said, "Good to know some things never change."

They both got out of the car and walked a few steps before they matched pace and stride and were walking side-by-side up the walk to the front door.

"I can't even believe you," Cordelia said suddenly, "You drag me out of bed for a ride. What am I? Mass transportation?" She left so much unsaid in her statement but it was just easier to slide back into her bitch mode rather than face the reality of Xanders' low opinion of her.

He never missed a beat. Xander rarely did when it came to sarcastic come-backs. "That's what a lot of the guys say but it's just locker-room talk..I wouldn't pay it any mind," he said, glancing at her briefly as if to see how she reacted to his words.

She decided not to allow him the pleasure of seeing how hurt she was by his words. If he wanted to trade barbs, so be it. "Oh great," she replied dryly, "So now I'm your taxi and your punching bag."

"I like to think of you more as my witless foil but have it your way," Xander murmured, glancing up to the door. She could read his thoughts from his face..the door was intact..as were the windows..that was good, right?

He moved up to the door and knocked. "Buffy?" When there was no immediate reply..duh, she thought testily, he placed his hands over the edges of his eyes and peered through the glass. A moment later he decided that she wasn't going to answer and moved over to the windows. "Come on, Cordelia..you wanna be a member of the Scooby gang, you gotta be willing to be inconveinced every now and then." He said his words with a hint of detached humor. But there was something else..the smallest bit in his tone that indicated some willingness to accept her into the so-called Scooby gang.

A bit of panic overtook her mind as she replied in her best sarcastic tone."Oh right because I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends." Anything besides denial of being a part of this insanity that surrounded Buffy could only lead to the discovery of things she wasn't ready to deal with. As it was, Buffy and Co. had already somewhat seen past her popular fascade. That was scary enough because what that in essense meant was that Buffy knew her better than her own friends. But she still couldn't let go of what was safe to her.

No..no..it was definately better to not be a part of the whole Slayer mess. As a full-time player anyways. Watching impatiently as Xander pushed a window open and crawled through, she elaborated on her disassociation sentence,"And that my first husband will be a balding, demented,homeless man."

Xander spared her a look that seemed to say that play-time was over. "Buffy could be in trouble." His words were crisp but she could see the worry in his eyes. Perhaps things were more serious than she has originally thought.

"And what if she is exactly?" Cordelia asked, moving away from where she was leaning and unfolding her arms. She moved towards the front door, keeping her voice loud enough for Xander to hear."What are you going to do about it? In case you haven't noticed you're the lameness and she's the super-chick or whatever." She found herself somewhat suprised at her ability to keep her apprehension from coming through in her words.

Xander threw her a weary look and replied,"At least I'm the lameness who cares which is more than I can say about you." He looked away before he could see the hurt that washed through her eyes. She looked away and rubbed a hand past her nose to clear her head. If he thought she didn't care..let him. Easier said then done.

"Buffy?" Xander called into the house. He looked at her briefly,"I'm gonna check up-stairs." And with that he moved away from her and quickly climbed the stairs towards Buffy's room. "Buffy?"

Cordelia entered the house and shut the door behind her. Moving through the entrance hall, she took in the house's decor. It was so not Buffy. She moved into the living room and made a small circle, her mind whirling. Why did she have the weirdest feeling that something she wasn't gonna like wa about to happen? As she turned, she heard a noise. It sounded like knocking. From the door.

Eager to do something..anything, she walked quickly across the floor and opened the door.

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