Alfred E. Neuman David Letterman
Coincidence?
9. Laughing at his own Jokes.
This is just plain annoying
8. The Audience's Reaction
The audience pisses me off almost as much as Dave does. If you listen closely to them you will hear it too. THEY DO NOT LAUGH AT ANY OF HIS JOKES! All they do is sit there and clap. He doesn't even get pity laughs. He gets pity claps. Like the kid coming in last place in a race. "Well he tried." He reminds me of the kid on the playground who tried his hardest to be funny, but came off as annoying.. The only difference is that Dave grew up and tried to make a living out of it.
7. His Monologue
His opening speech is the worst part of the routine. The biggest problem is that HE DOESN'T TALK TO THE CROWD. Now, if he was in theatre or acting, he would be doing a wonderful job. But he is a TALK SHOW HOST. He is suppose to talk to the camera or the crowd. Don't talk to Paul.
6. His Guests
He has been doing the show for over ten years now, so you would think that he would be able to get some funny and famous people on the show. Or at least interesting ones. Look at this one weeks guest list. It includes Simon Baker, Bob Sarlette, Marv Albert, and Kathleen Edwards. Now I don't claim to be an expert on celebrities, but apart from Marv, I have not heard of any of these people. And Marv Albert is a pervert. So he is resorting to perverts and people no one has ever heard of. But, to be fair, I think to myself, "Self, maybe I do know these people, I just don't know their names. Maybe if I see their faces, I will recognize them." WRONG!! I still have no clue who they are. Dave, get some better guests.
5. His Repetition, Repetition, Repetition.
From the opening monologue (covered later), till the closing, he uses the same jokes over and over. If in the beginning of the show, he says something even remotely funny, he will beat the joke to death later in the show! He will not shut up making some annoying noise, or some bad impression until the even the audience members want to come down to his desk and repeatedly beat him on the head with his chair.
4. Paul
He is a musician, isn't he? When did he think he could do comedy? Listen to him next time you see the show. All he does is repeat what Dave says! Dave will be like, "Well, its a Tuesday night," and Paul will come back with the incredibly witty comment, "Yup, its Tuesday, yup yup!" Dave isn't funny, so he won't be funny either!! And when did think he become Liberace? Has anyone at CBS noticed how he dresses? If he's gonna come out, he just needs to do it.
Yea, you too buddy.
3. CBS
CBS, the network that brings you nothing! There is not one good show on the station. And no for all you freaks out there, survivor is not a good show. Dave's show is just the pinnacle of their entire line up of crappy shows.
2. $$$
He makes so much money for such a crappy show. This makes me most distraught. It has been said that given enough time, 100 monkeys with typewriters could write the entire works of William Shakespeare. Well, with Dave, five monkeys; ten minuets. And the monkeys would be paid.
1. Top 10 List
Now this is actually a great idea. Now, if he would just throw in some humor into the list! Every night he reads the list like he is a bored North Korean prisoner of war. Monotone and mundane. And to top it all off, he has "famous" celebrities reading the list too! A few nights ago, he had the crew of the Space Station read it. Their voices were all choppy and the video was horrible. And they were worse at telling them than he was.
