The Music of the Heart
Part 12 - Con Intensita

Jarod stopped at the doorway and looked in. Maleah was sitting on the edge of their bed, her head in her hands.

"I should have shot him," he heard her say, "when I had the chance."

Glancing around, he saw that Sydney stood in the corner of the room, staring out into the sky, in which the moon could be seen more clearly now. It seemed to Jarod that he had aged within that space of a few hours and that the same look of grief he had seen in his father's eyes was also now present in those of the psychiatrist. Still without having alerted them to his presence, Jarod turned and left the room, unable and unwilling to say a word.

He walked into the room of the baby that was a part of him. In his mind, he could again hear the conversation he had had with Steven about the baby.

I guess I need some time to think about it...

His own words came back to haunt him now and he slid slowly down the wall on the other side of the room and let the emotions that were in his heart have full control over him.

Time.

He looked down at his hands and watched as the tears from his eyes dropped down onto them. The light from the moon, moving slowly through the clear sky, now dotted with stars, shone clearly on him and made the shining trails on his cheeks stand out clearly to the figure that now stood in the doorway. Still encased in shadow, she made her way over to him and sat down beside him. Although he had made no sign of his awareness that she was there, now he moved slightly to the side and then lay down so that his head rested on her legs. She could feel the tears that continued to run down his face as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Jarod."

He never responded to the spoken word, wrapped up in his own thoughts.

"Jarod, can you hear me?"

When he still didn't respond, she leaned forward and looked down into his eyes, shuddering to see them so blank. As she shifted, however, she noticed that he moved in response. Slowly, cautiously, she helped him to stand upright and then, with an arm around his waist, urged him along the hallway to their bedroom. It was with a sense of satisfaction that she noticed it was empty. He sat on the edge of the bed when she placed him there and remained unmoving while she leaned down and eased off his shoes. Only when, after several long moments, they were lying, facing each other, on the bed, did he react.

"Oh, Parker." His voice was a whisper, so full of pain that her eyes filled and she drew him closer to her.

"We still have tonight," she said to him in similarly soft tones. "Let's not forget that we still have these few hours."

He nodded and, his eyes finally beginning to show some signs of life, wrapped his arms around her body. His face nestled into her neck and she lowered her chin so that it rested on the top of his head.

"Parker..."

"No, Jarod," she pleaded. "No words. It's too hard."

He nodded mutely, allowing the tears that slipped onto her warm skin to say what he could not and she would not.

*~*

When he looked at her, she was finally asleep. The sun, delayed in rising due to the lateness of the season, was just showing itself on the horizon when he slipped out of her arms. For several moments he stood beside the bed and looked down at her. Turning, he pulled a jacket on over his t-shirt and slipped his feet into his shoes. Going down into the kitchen, he found it empty and concluded that he was the first one up. He grabbed his jacket from the hook near the door and pulled it on as he descended the stairs, walking towards the trees.

"Good morning, genius."

The voice was cool and measured and, as Jarod turned towards it, he could feel nothing but sadness. It's too soon, his heart tried to say, but somehow Jarod had always known it would be like this.

"Hello, Lyle."

"Up with the birdies this morning, aren't we? If they're lucky, they'll be able to see you buried before they go back to their nests tonight."

There was a pause, during which time Jarod glanced around at the brightening sky and the silent house, away to his left.

"Aren't you going to ask what I'm doing here? I would have thought it would’ve been pretty high on your list of priorities."

"I suppose," Jarod answered with a calmness that was sweeping over him, taking over from the sorrow, "you're here to escape from the people who are currently finding out all the Centre's dirty little secrets."

"So you did know about that." Lyle took several steps closer. "I thought you must have been behind it. I guess you thought you were pretty clever. Raines probably did too, if he had the chance to realize it before they killed him." He rocked back on his heels and sent a glance of annoyance to the house. "I had a look inside this morning. Pretty little set-up you've got going there. It's a pity that none of them will be in time to save you." He laughed, a sound that sent a chill up Jarod's spine. "Do you know how easy it all was? All I had to do was feed that technician a bit of information. That was enough for my father - I should say, my late father, may God rest his soul - to order him killed. I knew, of course, that that would have my precious sister running off to find you."

My God, Jarod thought as he watched the man facing him. He still doesn't know that they aren't related.

"And then, of course, there was the most useful part. I finally got rid of the doctor, once and for all. Much too dangerous, that one," Lyle smirked. "He knew far too much about the Centre for his own good, let alone everybody else's. I'm looking forward to seeing his face before I pull the trigger. He's played dumb long enough. Let's see what he can tell me before he dies."

Oh, Parker. Jarod's face almost revealed the whole of his mental pain. Why didn't we work out that I wouldn't be the only one he would kill? And now I'm not going to be able to do anything to save you...

"We have to make sure that we do this right." The change of Lyle's tones told Jarod that he had finished dreaming and was now back to reality. "Let's see, how was it again, in that cabin when you were trying save the life of that shrink's precious son? Oh, yes." He stepped in so that the barrel of the gun was shoved up against the Pretender's chest. "Get down on your knees."

It was almost a relief to Jarod that he could drop down. The whirlpool of emotions that were spinning in his head made it difficult for him to remain upright. He hardly noticed that Lyle had moved around behind him, the gun pressed into the back of his neck.

"What, no begging? No pleading for your life, or hers? You could at least give me that satisfaction."

"I wouldn't beg from you. And nothing I could say would save her life."

Oh Parker, he thought again. I'm so sorry. I love you so much.

"Ready."

Jarod closed his eyes and let the faces of those gathered in the house mass in the front of his mind. I love you all, he thought to himself, and I never got the chance to tell you how much.

"Aim."

I hope I was a credit to you all. I hope that you won't think too badly of me.

"Fire."

*~*

All seven people in the kitchen could clearly hear the sound of the gunshot. For a long moment they paused, all refusing to meet the eyes of the others. Slowly, one by one, they got to their feet and closed their eyes. They all refused to look in the direction that the sound had come from.

They didn't want to see...

They didn't want to know...

*~*

He opened his eyes and turned to see the body lying on the ground behind him, blood pouring from the hole in the head. A tremor went through him and he looked up to see the technician looking down at the dead man.

"May God rest his soul. If he ever had one."

"B...Broots?'

"That sounds familiar." His face was pale, but Broots still managed to grin as he walked over and extended one hand. "Are you going to get up, or do you want to stay there?"

Jarod grabbed the hand and slowly got to his feet. Then he faced the man who had saved his life.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted the chance to repay you for what you did. I found the truth last night." Broots gently kicked the body that lay on the ground on front of him. "He was the one driving the car when it hit us. If Debbie had died," his voice trembled, but he controlled it and continued, "if she’d died, he would have been the one responsible for killing her. And you were the one who saved her. And me."

Jarod thought about this for several seconds. "How did you know?"

Broots glanced up with a smile. "I got up early to go for a walk. On the way out, I met Ethan. Without saying anything, he handed me the gun that had been hanging on a holster under your jacket. Something inside told me to take it." He stared off into the distance for a moment. "I was behind a tree when I heard his voice. I wanted to shoot him straight away, but I was scared that I might have hit you. When he made you kneel down, he gave me the chance I needed. I took it."

*~*

They all heard the two sets of footsteps climbing the stairs and approaching the door. Miss Parker stepped in front of the boy as he was about to walk towards the door.

"No, Steven." Her voice was a whisper. "Don't."

She looked over to first the figure of her father and then his. Both pairs of eyes were full of tears and, as she blinked, she found that they were in her own also. As the door opened, every person in the room turned towards it...

His eyes met hers first of all. He watched as the color slid from her face and she swayed on her feet. He was beside her as she began to fall and he caught her in his arms as she lost consciousness. Gently he lifted her and carried her to the sofa, laying her body gently down on it before he felt the hand on his shoulder. He looked up to meet his father’s tear-filled eyes.

"Jarod..."

"I know, Dad." The son smiled. "I know." He stood and threw both arms around him, the two embracing with more fervor than ever before. Over the shoulder of his father, Jarod saw the expression of confusion in the eyes of his sister and he watched as she took a step towards the window.

"No, Emily."

She stopped as she heard his voice. In three steps he was beside her.

"Don't look. Please."

As she threw both arms around him, he held her close. "I love you, Em."

"I love you, too, Jarod."

Satisfied, he was about to look around again when he heard a sound from the sofa. Glancing over, he watched Sydney sitting beside his daughter and that his own father's face held a warning expression. For a moment, then, Jarod paused.

"Maleah?" Sydney gently patted his daughter's cheek. "Come on, wake up now."

"Dad?"

Jarod saw the gentle smile that lit his former teacher's face at the term.

"Yes, Maleah, it's me."

"Are we all… dead?"

"No, Miss Parker." Broots stepped over to the sofa and knelt beside it, taking one of her hands in his. "We're all very much alive."

She looked up at him for a moment before her eyes filled with tears.

"What is it?" Sydney brushed the first of them away with a gentle finger but found that it was ineffective and was required to use his handkerchief to stem the flow.

"I thought I saw him… here. I thought I saw Jarod come in."

"You did, Parker."

"No," she shook her head. "I heard the shot."

"You heard a shot," Broots corrected. "You heard the shot that killed Mr Lyle."

"Then...?"

At this point Jarod felt the hand that was pressing the middle of his back and he looked up to meet his father's eye.

"Go on, Jarod." Only the Pretender heard the whispered words. "Go on, son."

He nodded and stepped towards the sofa. The angle at which he approached meant that she didn't see him until, kneeling at its head, he gently brushed her hair from her face with a loving hand.

*~*

Late that night she nestled in his arms and looked up at him as though she could never see him often enough. He ran the backs of his fingers down the side of her face and she closed her eyes and clasped his hand, drawing it to her chest.

"I love you, Parker."

He felt the tremor go through her and understood. He wasn't the first to say those words and he knew as well as she what had happened to the last man who had said them.

"Nobody will take me away from you."

"Nobody?" She clung to him for a moment.

"There's nobody left who could do it. The only two remaining people who had any power at the Centre will never hurt anybody ever again. Including us."

He lowered his mouth to hers and sealed the pact with a gentle kiss that began to restore some of the courage she felt had been lost that day.

"And what now?"

"Do you mean right now, or for the future?"

"Both."

He considered for a moment. "I'll leave right now alone - for now."

She giggled softly and then realized he hadn't meant it for humor.

"As for the future, there are still things we have to finish. Unfortunately the list is quite long."

"Does that matter?" She traced a pattern on his bare chest with one finger. "We really do have all the time in the world now."

*~*

Sydney stepped into the hallway and saw Major Charles hovering outside the closed bedroom door.

"What are you doing up?" His voice was muted but still audible and he watched as the other man blushed slightly.

"I was… I wanted to check that he was..."

In amusement, the psychiatrist walked over. "Don't you think that, if he wasn't, we would have heard something?"

Major Charles nodded sheepishly and then glanced at his watch. "Come to think of it, what are you...?"

Jarod's father watched, amused in his turn, as Sydney also blushed. "I guess great minds really do think alike." He smiled. "Do you know what I'm thinking right now?"

"Hmm," Major Charles thought for a moment. "That coffee would be nice?"

"Right."

In silent companionship, the two fathers descended the staircase.

*~*

Ethan rolled over onto his side and watched as the other occupant of the room stared out of the window.

"Steven? Are you alright?"

The body sniffed and tried to curl himself up under the covers. Ethan got up out of bed and walked over, sitting down on the edge of the boy's mattress. With a firm hand, he pulled back the blankets to reveal the swollen and tear-stained eyes of the boy.

"Steve, you don't have to be ashamed of feeling like that. We've all had a nasty shock today. It's natural you should feel upset."

"Do you?"

The words were half-muffled by a sniff but Ethan heard them and nodded. "But I was luckier than you. I had a small amount of preparation for it all, in a dream that I had last night. That told me that, although somebody would die today, if I took the right action, it wouldn't be my...our brother."

"C… Catherine?"

Ethan nodded. "I hoped, at the time, that my sister would have heard it too, but, maybe because it depended solely on me, she didn't."

"And...?"

Ethan slipped an arm around the boy's shoulders and squeezed gently. "We're safe, now. They can never hurt any of us again."

*~*

"Good morning."

Major Charles looked up to find his oldest son sitting at the kitchen table, his hands wrapped around a steaming mug.

"What are you doing up so...?"

"Early?" Jarod laughed. "Dad, it's already seven thirty. And I wanted the chance to watch the dawn again."

The father walked over and wrapped both arms around his son, hugging him firmly. "Where's Parker?"

"Showering. I volunteered to make breakfast and she said she'd help me, but I have to wait until she's ready." He looked sternly up at his father. "What time did you and Sydney finally go to bed?"

"How did you know?"

"I heard you."

"Something revoltingly early," Major Charles yawned. "We were talking for a while. I think it was something around three."

"Four." Sydney entered the room at this juncture. "It was almost four."

"And did you sleep?" Jarod looked up at them sternly. "Or did you both lie awake and think?"

"You know me too well," Sydney grinned.

"And me." Jarod's father interjected as he put the kettle on.

"He knows everybody too well," Miss Parker laughed as she entered the room, a towel wrapped around her wet hair, and sat on Jarod's knee.

"I also know that you're still damp," Jarod pushed her away. "And you're making me wet too."

"Aw, poor baby!" She grinned as she headed for the door again. "Isn't life awful?"

*~*

"How are you doing, Broots? Any ill effects from saving my life?" Jarod asked as he walked into the room where the technician sat and grinned at him.

"Any ill effects from having your life saved?"

Both men laughed and then Jarod turned to the figure that lay on the bed and was watching them with bright eyes.

"How would you like to get up and come downstairs, Debbie? Then maybe Miss Parker can read the rest of your book to you."

"Really?" She looked over at her father. "I can get up?"

"You heard what the doctor said, Debbie. If he thinks you can, I guess he's right."

"Do I get dressed first?"

"Hmm," Jarod looked thoughtful. "I think it might be better if we just get you out of bed today. That will be enough." Coming over to the side of the bed, he picked up his own jacket that he had brought upstairs for the purpose and then helped the little girl to sit on the edge of the bed.

"It's too big," she giggled as she looked down at the sleeves that extended far beyond the ends of her arms.

"It'll keep you warm." Dimples appeared on Jarod's cheeks. "And that's the most important thing." He helped her to stand up beside the bed and watched to make sure that she wasn't going to fall.

"Can I do anything, Jarod?"

"Grab the blankets from the bed." The Pretender glanced out of the window into the clear blue sky. "It might be warmer, but we won't take chances with anything like pneumonia at this stage." Out of the corner of his eye, he watched a bird fly across the sky outside and sighed happily.

"Ready, Debbie?"

The little girl nodded and set her jaw in a way that threatened to make both her father and Jarod laugh, being so like Miss Parker.

"Okay, let's go."

*~*

"Debbie!"

Maleah appeared in the doorway clad in tight-fitting black pants and a blue shirt, her hair swept to one side.

"Hi, Miss Parker." The girl scooped the last of the cereal from the bowl into her mouth and smiled up from the nest that the two men had made in a chair for her in the living room.

"It's good to see you up!" Maleah walked over and hugged Debbie.

"Will you read to me?"

Miss Parker took the book from the outstretched hand and sat down on a chair next to the girl, wrapping one arm around her shoulder.

"Sure."

Neither saw the smile that appeared on Broots’ face as he sat in the kitchen and silently watched them.

*~*

"I always thought I valued life before..."

Jarod spoke softly, but the man standing behind heard the words clearly and a thoughtful expression appeared on his face.

"I suppose it takes the threat of death - really facing it - to show how valuable life really is."

"And yet I wasn't scared, Sydney!"  Jarod's eyes were wide in amazement as he turned and looked up at the man. "I was sad and regretful, but not scared."

"Sometimes." Sydney sat down on the ground beside his former protégée, "a person is feeling too much emotion at the moment when it looks like they will die to actually feel the fear."

"When did you feel that way?"

"Often." Sydney sighed. "In the camp, working at the Centre..."

Jarod nodded silently and then a point he had been thinking about during the previous night occurred to him again.

"Sydney, do you know, or can you remember, why I'm… why I was so important to the Centre?"

The psychiatrist looked up into the face that he knew so well. "I'm sorry, Jarod. I can't remember it at all… if I ever knew."

For a long moment there was silence. Finally Jarod looked up again. "You helped me once to get at a memory that I couldn't remember."

"Hypnosis, yes."

"Do you want to try it?"

Sydney's face bore a slight smile. "You can do it?"

"I've been a psychiatrist. It's highly overrated." Jarod grinned and then became serious again. "It's not that difficult. And we can only try..."

Part 13

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