* Bink! You two got seperated from everyone else, on the way to Orientation! Or in it. But you're both in a dark room, now. There's two paths splitting off from each other, and the sound of cheering in the background. * Omake.... Start! ...where do you suppose this is? * A stagehand pops up out of somewhere. "Come on, hurry up, you two! You're holding up the show!" * Elonith looks at Tzezhin. "Well isn't this great. Sounds like a game-show or something..." A game...show? * He motions for the two of you to go down the two tunnels. * Elonith raises the roof. "Who's da man?!" Oh, right. Okay! ^_^ ...what? * Elonith walks happily down one of the tunnels. * Tzezhin "...."s and proceeds down the other one cautiously. * Elonith is still in one of his human forms right now... Brown hair, brown eyes, average looking 11 year old, yada yada. * The tunnels lead to stools! The stools are behind big red desks, and they have a big red pink buzzer button! And you can see the crowd, but the curtaining seperates you from seeing anything else. O_O * "Welcome to the date show that's skyrocketing through the air faster than the flying city, Icarus! Number one show in the Realm, "Scattered Hearts Reunited" starts now!" * "First, our host, Minx!" * Elonith eyes the Narrator. "Okay, I think I'll be going the other way now." (Or wherever the voice seems to be comming from. ) * Overhead speakers. o/~ * Tzezhin starts at the disembodied voice and whips around, trying to pinpoint its source. * Yep, you guessed it. A winged bishounen catguy runs onto the stage, waving wildly at the crowd, mike in hand. * Tzezhin backs away down the tunnel again, ready to draw if needed. * Elonith doesn't wait. He starts walkin' back to the tunnel. Oh, no! It seems like our contestants are having second thoughts! I guess they didn't hear about our GRAND PRIZE! * Tzezhin backs away FASTER. Hey, guys? I can't really, um, ya know... date someone. I'm just a little young and there are certain... biological issues to be dealt with. So I'm just gonna walk this way now, 'kay? Two tickets to anywhere in the Multiverse! To be used on the Big Date with our mystery Bachelorette! * Tzezhin doesn't understand a word of what this guy is saying, and so just keeps on backing away. "A trap!" * Minx blinks, and lowers the mike, and chases after. "Hey! You're making me look bad!" * Tzezhin RUNS LIKE THE WIND * Minx is chasing after Tze! * Elonith shrugs and... Oh, curiosity got the better of him. He peeks behind the curtain. * Minx is chasing Tze! And gaining. * Minx pumps up the speed a little, and tries to grab Tze in a headlock! * Elonith eyes Minx. "Hey! Let him go!" ( Unarmed def roll/grappling! ) * Dicesuke throws the bones for Tzezhin (2d6-1) and gets 2. Come back! You're under a contractual obligation to stick this out! This is not in my contract! Well.... Uh.... It's not? * Minx drops to the ground, suddenly glaring at Tze. * Elonith rolls his eyes. "Look mister, I don't know what's going on, but we're not on any contract." Then what did you do with who was supposed to be here!? No! I wrote the agreement for Ysrdahl's elimination myself! I should know! I haven't done a thing to anyone since I've been here. * Tzezhin eyes Minx. "But perhaps...you'd like to be the first." * Tzezhin 's hand twitches, and he glances meaningfully at the hilt of the sword across his back. Hey, Tze. Keep your hand away from the sword. Don't wanna hurt him unless we have to. * Minx turns to Elo. "And you? If you're not the contestant who should have shown up, then who is?" * Elonith smirks evilly. Well, if the contestants aren't showing up.... I need someone to take their place. ...why should I be held responsible for others' irresponsibility? * Elonith walks up to Minx and looks WAAAY up at him. "I don't care what you say. I'm not going to be dating anyone because of *two* reasons. First, my biology is too screwed up to ever really do that. For all I know I could be toxic to whoever you set me up with. Second... I'd like to pick who'd I date anyways." * Minx looks up ... err, down at Tze. "Come on. What's the harm? Answer a few questions, go on a date with a cute girl, and get free stuff?" I don't know what kind of plot you're trying to hatch, but it is not going to work. * Minx pouts innocently. "Plot? I have no plot or insidious intentions. I'm just looking for someone to cover for the ones who were supposed to be here." * Elonith is being ignored. He pouts just like you'd expect. * Minx turns to Elo, now. "You sure? It could be fun. And who knows? You just might meet your soulmate!" Look elsewhere. I have no idea what you are talking about. Look, if I met my soulmate, it wouldn't be here. Hard sell, huh? Yeah. You take a nice trip around the multi-verse and see how you feel. * Minx shrugs. "That's okay. I've stalled you long enough for security to get here and block your escape." * As if on cue, there's a big 'thump' from the entrance you two were running for. I knew it! * Elonith looks at the 'security.' How big are they and how many? * It's a big solid golem looking thing. You're not quite sure how it managed to fit thrugh the door, or even in the hallways past it. But it's there, and there's no way in hell you're getting past it physically. * It's skin seems to be made of an oily black, and theres maybe three inches between it's legs. * Elonith gulps. "Um... Shit." Really, guys. This won't be so bad. Just sit down, answer a few questions, and have fun! * Tzezhin half-smirks. "So, would you say this is a situation in which we would "have to" resort to other measures, Elonith?" * Elonith turns to Minx. "Look bishi-winged-catguy. We're getting out, okay?" He grins as he pulls out his energy pistol. "I think this counts, don't you?" * Minx grins. "It won't hurt you to do this thing. And if you really want to try and fight it out, go ahead." * Tzezhin just laughs evilly. But that might hurt some. ( This guy is the most vicious game show host I've ever SEEN ) ( He makes the Weakest Link people look like Mother Teresa ) The name's Minx, by the way! ^_^ Minx? Okay, I'll be sure to tell that to the undertaker. Just joking. ^_^ Look Tzez, don't hurt them too bad... just make their legs bend the *wrong* way. * Tzezhin grins. Oh, you're going to fight then? Now, I didn't say that, did I? Oh? Then you'll participate? I certainly haven't seen anything to convince me to do anything other than...leave. And whatever that may entail. You'll have to convince Mr Stiff there that you want to leave before the shows over, then. That'd be a task. * Elonith walks up to Mr. Stiff and tries to lift him with Telekinesis (Not throw, just lift.) * No effect. You think..... it's too heavy. Ohhhkay. I think we're gonna be taking the test. Unless you can lift a 1000 kilo weight out of the way. Glad to hear it! ...1000 kilos? How is that possible? * Tzezhin now looks curious rather than peeved. I wonder if...hmm.... Hey, Minx? What's this guy made out of? Mr Stiff there is one of the Monolith Golems. He's made of almost the same stuff the monoliths are, as far as anyone can tell. He's pretty tough. * Elonith pulls out his laptop, sits down where he is, and starts taptaptyping away. Hmmm... really? * Tzezhin edges over to Elo. "May I see as well?" This? Sure. * Tzezhin looks over Elo's shoulder too, then. * Minx sweatdrops a little. "Uh......" * Elonith keeps typing away. It goes thru several indexes of materials, ranging from the mythical Mythril and Adimantium, to the futuristic Zortium and Xentronium, and tons of stuff inbetween. "New entry: Unnamed 27... Properties: Obsidian in appearance... *very* dense, the monoliths..." He finishes typing. * Minx frowns, and holds a hand over his ear. "Give me a minute. I've almost got them convinced to come back. Go to a commercial or something." * Elonith packs it away. "I wonder..." He taps the monolith-dude. * Tzezhin takes out one of his daggers and prods the golem a tiny bit. * Not even a scratch. * Tzezhin studies the dagger tip. "Amazing!" Uh.... Are you done yet? I have a show to host, here. I wonder how they were formed, then? * Elonith feels a little longer trying to get the nature of the substance down... Ooookay. ..... No, consider: These forms are entirely too derivative to have been natural. You guys don't even fight to where we could broadcast something interesting. I have not seen these "monoliths," but it seems to me that their existence in whatever form they are would be just as odd. Yeah. And if they're made out of the same material as the monoliths... I need to run some tests. *he turns to Minx* Let's get this over with now... All right! Now you're talking! * Elonith stashes his energy pistol away, and his eyes flicker golden yellow for a split-second. Actually, we were referring to your life. XD * Tzezhin grins eeeeeeeeevilly. * Elonith smiles. "I hold, you punch?" * Tzezhin doesn't draw anything, though. * Minx blinks, and one of his hands hovers near his back. But he dosen't draw anything, either. Heh...heh heh heh.... * Tzezhin then just laughs. "You should see the look on your face....Minx." ....? Eh. *his serious look fades* Glad you're just joking, then. Would've hated to fight someone for real. ...I'm sure. * Elonith laughs as he walks over to one of the stools. "I don't see who'd be interested in an eleven-year old boy, but hey, I've seen some *pretty* strange stuff before." * Tzezhin eyes the whole setup suspiciously. "So just what is involved in this...thing, anyway?" * Minx shrugs. "You sit in the stools, I work the crowd, and out bacholerette asks you a bunch of questions." But to what purpose? And what is a...bachelorette? Or don't you know what a date show is? * Tzezhin eyes Minx this time. "No. I do not. I have a notebook in which days and appointments are kept." Hey, give the man a break. You know how strange some people can be. It is called an "a-gen-da". * Minx grins. "Hey, someone who dosen't know what a date show is. This could be interesting." Yeah yeah. People don't mind if I type while I talk, do they? Nah. Go ahead and take your places, now! * Tzezhin eyes the stool, and stands behind it. * Elonith takes a seat, and smiles as he pulls out his laptop, typing away. "Sure thing chief." * Minx vanishes underneath one of the curtains. * The main curtain is down, at the moment. Presently, you hear Minx apologizing to the crowd, explaining, 'They contestants had a little brawl, but I've managed to convince them to let the bachalorette settle this peacefully.' * Elonith cracks up when he hears him say that. "Yeah! Work the crowd why don't ya?" ...what a terrible liar. * Tzezhin makes no effort to lower his voice when saying that, either. And without further ado, I present our contestents! * Elonith typetypes away. * The curtain raises! There's the crowd, and Minx! * Tzezhin ....blinks. Slowly and threateningly. * Minx turns to Elo. "Contestant number one. Why don't you tell the audience a bit about you?" * Elonith glances up at Tzezhin, then at the audience. "I'm one? Well, there's a first time for everything." ^_^ "Anyways, Um... I'm a humanoid who got stranded here after going thru a dimensional rift around the year..." *typetypetype* "2400. And, well, I was formerly in the military and I like computer games, and... Is that enough?" He smiles like a little kid. Oh, and I like to draw too. ( I draw horsies and flowers and starfish and rainbows and DEATH and lobsters! *SMILE* ) He's an artist! What'dya think, you think our bachalorette will dig an artist? *This is said to the crowd. Various hoots and responses follow.* * Elonith smiles innocently and waves to the crowd, then goes back to typing. But.... *mock gasp* Maybe she'll like this other guy more! Contestant number two! Tell us about yourself! * Tzezhin glares. Hello. My name is Tzezhin M'haron. ( "You killed my father. Prepare to DIE." ) * Elonith smiles as an 'explosion' sound comes from his laptop. "Eat deathray sucka! Tell the big man that Elonith sent you!" * Elonith looks up. "Oh, sorry." He turns the volume down. ( Tze is done, by the way. ^^ ) Sounds like the fight isn't over yet, folks! ...what fight? * Minx blinks expecentantly at Tze a few minutes. "The strong silent type. Diggable, yeah?" * Elonith hits a button and turns the laptop to the audience. Yeah, canned laughter comes out. Are you feeling well? There aren't any sort of fever epidemics around here, are there? * Elonith turns the laptop back to him and types away again. * Minx joins in the laughs. "Well, now that we've introduced our contestants, it's time to bring in our MYSTERY BACHALORETTE!" * Minx waves a hand offstage, and nifty circuler spinning stuff rotates a Big Chair, frilly and voilet and heart shaped, at such an angle to where the audience can see whos inside, but you two can't. Man, and now I wish I was telepathic... Welcome to the show, Miss! Are you ready to question the contestants? * The voice that replies is overly energetic, and definitely feminine. "Hai!" * Elonith replies to that. "Hi!" Then let's begin! *He takes a seat at a desk behind a mike stand, sitting there and looking cool. * Elonith types away again, apparently continuing his game. Okay! First question! How many armies would you take on to earn my hand? Contestant one! * Elonith hmmms... "I wouldn't take a single army on. Instead I'd find the commander, sneak in, and 'convince' him to stop whatever he was doing that was, um... bad. Oh, and I'd also get some jelly doughnuts from him." * Voice giggles. "Taking on the leader directly in a duel of honor! How romantic. And effective. Contestant number two?" I don't even know you. * Elonith grins at Tzez. "Pretend you do, then." :P The only reason I would lift a finger to another in your behalf would be if you had entered into contract with me. * The crowd boos at poor 'ole Tze. In which case, the obstacles are insignificant. I always fulfill my objective. Oh, bad move buddy. * Elonith smirks. "Oh, that could be interesting." He typetypes away. Uh.... Okay? *sounds less than satisfied.* Contestant number one! What if someone attacked us on our first date? What would you do? * This is said with a touch of excitement in her voice. Umm... What are the conditions? That's too vague of a question for me to evaluate a response to. Conditions? Why should it matter who's attacking! Agh. Contestant number two! * Elonith rolls his eyes. "I'm not gonna be stupid and take on someone I know I can't win against..." He continues typing. I don't appreciate interlopers. The one who interfered would not do so...for long. * Tzezhin is beginning to cotton on. ...... Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! Agh. * The crowd makes a general confused sound. The CORRECT answer is to make sure I'm okay, and then get out of my way! * Tzezhin pfs. *flatly* Next question. Contestant number one. If you were a flower, what kind would you be and why? * Elonith smirks. * Elonith raises an eyebrow. "Flowers? Um... botany's not my thing, but..." * Elonith grins sheepishly. "I really don't know." That's okay. I thoguht it was a stupid question anyways. Contestant two? * Elonith laughs. If you know it is a stupid question, why do you bother to ask it? Because it's on this silly card. I'm supposed to read them in order. Would it not be more advantageous for you to simply ask what you desire to ask? Well, you read it, right? Get on with the show! I think reading the cards is in her 'contract' or something. How would reading cards fulfill a contract? I'm looking for a good question in here now. Answer the question, give me time. ... Nope. Cheezy.. lame.... Hey, Minx? What does an archeolgist have to do with this? At all? And what is an archeologist? Nevermind! Don't answer that! Wow, she really is clueless. * Minx raises one eyebrow, vulcan like. But dosen't actually get up from sitting there and looking cool. Contestant number two? I thought you did not want that answered? Oh, okay. Next question! In your best sexy voice, explain what an archeologist is. * Elonith cracks up. * Minx lifts the other eyebrow, and grins. * And the crowd hoots. (You know, it's difficult to stand when you're on acid.) (And now back to the show.) * Tzezhin shifts. "Hn..." * The crowd falls silent, eager to hear Tze's performance. * Tzezhin clears his throat and speaks smoothly. "An archaeologist is one who studies the past of human life and culture through material artifacts that are left behind." * There's a short silence. Then Voice speaks up again. ".... Contestant number one?" * Elonith chuckles and says in a voice that suits his stature. "Sultry sounding, I can't do... but if you want it termed that way..." He types a little and thinks... Archaeologists 'study' the past of other sentient beings by looking at artifacts to get a better understanding of their past. Now, don't you want get a better understanding of ourselves by 'studying' the, ehrm, 'artifact's' that we have? * Congratulations. You managed to kill every sound making thing in the room. * Elonith cracks up. "It couldn't have been that bad." * As in, noone is responding at all. But hey! People in the audience are starting to point and laugh at Elo. * Tzezhin makes no sound, and thus isn't dea--darn. So much for that riff. :P * Elonith smiles innocently at the audience and waves back. His other hand is typing on his laptop. ..... I'll go with contestant number two on that one. That's what I was hoping. *he types with both hands and is looking at the monitor now.*] Next question! Contestant number two. If I was in a coma, and needed my samurai in shining armor to name me to wake me up, what would you name me? * Tzezhin just sits there and blinks for several seconds as the sheer stupidity of the question sinks in. ...Sehrezal. * Tzezhin gives Minx a "WTF?!" look. "Do you write these questions yourself?" * Minx shrugs nonchalantly. I write some of them. * Elonith keeps typing away. Who writes the others? Concussed sand eels? .... that's a name, I guess. Contestant number one? Never bothered to ask. Hmmm... Asami? Don't ask why, just think it'd fit you. * Voice 'Hmms' thoughfully. Do you need a family name with that? * Elonith smiles. I'll ... get back to you on that. * Minx gets up, and strides to the front of the stage. "Can you feel the love in the air? Just two more questions to go, and our bachalorette gets to make her decision!" Oh God... or gods, if that's your schtick. To give the lovely lady a chance to rest and think, lets have our contestants give us their impressions of her. To keep their opinions secret from the bachalorette, she will now put on a pair of sound muffling earmuffs, as she is doing now! *He gestures in that direction.* * Minx walks over to Elo. "So, contestant number one? What do you think of her so far?" Rememeber, you can say anything you want about her and she won't hear a drop of it. ( Yeah, right. You know it's just soundproof so that *you* can't hear that *she's* cussing you out as she hears w hat you think of her. ;P ) Hmmm... She sounds eager and cheerful. Maybe a little on the brash side, and while it would be good thing if I was here of my own provication and actually wanted to win... But I really don't have a place I'd want to go to in the multi-verse. *typetypetype* I do wonder what she really is like, though... Nobody's the same person in real life as they are onscreen. *his eyes shimmer to solid red for a brief second, then return to normal* Straight from the heart, man, straight from the heart. *nods solemnly* * Minx turns to Tze. "And what about you, contestant number two?" Hmm. (Notice that Elo's voice has been childlike the entire session... It's pretty obvious he's underage for this sort of thing by human standards.) ( Date shows don't have to make sense. =p ) (Exactly. :P) Somewhat brash and rather unreasonable, but not altogether unlikeable. She also sounds capable of handling herself in a fight, although she has some odd notions about things. *shrugs* Are you having more fun that you thought you would? Fun? Being one of the contestants. You're stalling again. It's amusing... but I'd like to get back to working on how to get out of The Realm and figuring out why the hell those monoliths are there. A commendable goal. *He turns back to the crowd* Just as soon as our Missus removes her mufflers, the show will get back on the road! Two more questions, and then the FINAL! DECISION! * Minx walks back over the the big frilly heart shaped chair, and talks to her some. * He turns to the crowd again. "And the show is back on the road." *he takes his spot behind the mike stand/desk thingie again.* Hmm... Contestant number one. It's late, and we were at a party all night long. Once we leave, I head to go home. What do you do? * Elonith hmmms... "Since I know you can take care of yourself, I'd see you off and probably head home myself... Possibly calling you later that night on your opinions of the party guests and to see for sure if you made it home safely. Of course, I could me mistaken on a few points." He smirks. Contestant number two? I would return home as well. * Elonith chuckles. "Sounds like you're not the chivalrous type either." Last question. Contestant one. What do you think of swords? *this is said with a touch of genuine interest in the voice* * Elonith laughs at that question too. "Man, some of the questions you ask..." Really? You like the question too? Nah, just brings back memories... Anyways, answer the question Tzezhin. We don't have all day, you know. ....... * Elonith blinks. "Oh, you were asking me, weren't you? Um... Personally, I think they're excellent tools, if a little outdated when not used properly." * Elonith smiles sheepishly as he puts his laptop away. ... and contestant number two? Personally, I think that's the first sensible question that's been asked this entire time. A sword is an excellent weapon in the hands of a trained user. It is my personal favorite for close-ranged armed combat. ... an instrument of art with which to carve your enemies. A true declaration of skill and prowess. With the latter, I agree. * Elonith shrugs. "Many call the styles an artform, which I agree with. It's also really damn good at carving stuff up when in the hands of a trained user... of which I am not." * Ding ding ding! * Minx gets up. In a cool, bishounen catguy fashion. (With wings.) You know what that sounds mean. It's time for the lady to make.... The Decision. ( So like Tobias, only twenty years older and more cheesy. ;P ) (Yup. :P) Have you come to a desicion? Contestant number one sounds nice. Kinda of young, though. Contestant two sounds.... like he likes swords, too. And that he'd let me fight, and not try to hold me back. * The chair thingie rotates around! * She's got short hair, thats between blond and brown, and is a bit skinny, about 5'3. She's wearing some old looking armor, and has two swords. One that's a bit taller than her, strapped to her back,. And she's carrying another in her hand, a katana that seems to waver and looks Really Damned Sharp. * Her black eyes are big and wide, and twinkling with something akin to insanity. * Elonith looks up at her as he gets off his stool, picking up his backpack. "I suppose it's a good thing that I didn't win, ne?" He smiles. Are we finished? Meet Naoki. Naoki, why don't you tell us who you picked? * Naoki points at Tze with her Really Sharp Looking sword. "Him." * Elonith looks at Tzezhin and smirks. "Looks like ya got an admirer now." Congratulations! This new couple gets to go to wherever they may desire! * Tzezhin eyes the girl. "What?" Why? * Naoki grins ferally. "For one, you're of a more acceptable age. And you like swords, too." No, why all of this? * Naoki shrugs. "I don't know. Minx here said it'd be fun." This is senseless. * Naoki grins, that spark in her eye glinting brightly. "Isn't it, though?" No. Not really. * Elonith glances at Minx. "Oh, we're done here now. Mind sending us back to where we were before?" Hey. You don't mind if I get to Orientation before our date, do you? * Minx shrugs. "Mr Stiff should let you pass now. The shows over, thanks for helping me out!" Before what? Some people said I had to go there. And should be happening about now. I thought that was orientation. Yeah, that! Come on! I gotta go there! * Elonith walks over to Mr. Stiff, tapping him on the knee. Fine, you may go. * Mr Stiff slowly looks down at Elo, then steps back. Through the wall, mind you. It seems to disintegrate it as it touches it, and reforms a few seconds after its passed. * Naoki runs by, dragging Tze along! * Tzezhin pulls loose and SHAKES HER OFF. * Elonith blinks. "Interesting..." He walks calmly thru... "Don't fight it Tzezhin. Her type never let go." * Naoki shrugs. "Okay. Meet you there then!" *She bidahs Tze, and runs along.* * Tzezhin brushes himself off. "Why are all the women in this....place insane?" * End!