Leah Taylor The Causes and Affects of Anger on Personal and Professional Relationships How one deals with their anger determines the essence of their personality. Anger does more harm than any other emotion, it upsets at least two people, the person who is angry and the person who being aggressed against. Anger is a normal response to any situation that is a real threat. Anger can be redirected to become a positive driving force behind our actions. For quite some time, I have been asking myself why do some individuals have a high level of anger while others have a healthy level of anger. Anger has an equal affect on a individual?s personal and professional relationships. For one reason or another some individuals are unable to manage their anger in order to prevent them from hurting themselves, others, and their relationships. Any situation can lead to anger, especially when an individual thinks someone else is to blame for their loss, the individual does not get what they want, something interferes with the individual gaining a desired and expected goal. The interference can be physical, individual limitations, their choices, others' actions, others' motives, or society's injustice. Anger is an emotional-physiological-cognitive internal state. In some instances, angry emotions are beneficial, if the individual is being taken advantage of. Anger is an unpleasant emotional state characterized by high physiological arousal. The emotion of anger is innate and a normal emotion that all human beings feel. When an individual get angry, adrenaline and other hormones are released into the bloodstream. The pupils of the eyes constrict, your blood pressure, pulse, and respiratory rate all go up. Many people mistakenly believe that anger is always a bad emotion and that expressing anger is always a bad thing. Regardless of your age, anger causes high blood pressure, as well as increasing your risks of becoming depressed, and having a stroke or heart-attack. A person can have lateral and manifest anger. If an individual has manifest anger they know it, but if they have latent anger the individual does not know because it is repressed to an unconscious level. Manifest anger can be chronic, which is a serious problem. Some symptoms that are associated with this type of anger are impatience, constant hurrying, speaking in a harsh and abrupt manner egotistical, self-centered behavior, inability to relax readily, and the inability to play or enjoy vacations. Individuals may unconsciously or consciously use anger to blame others for their our own shortcomings, to justify oppressing others, to boost their own sagging egos, to conceal other feelings, and when they are afraid. Psychoanalyst Karen Horney theorized that victims of chronic anger may not have had their emotional needs met in infancy and toddler hood. This led them to suffer from an underlying condition called basic anxiety. The individual may have an universalized impression that the world is unsafe and threatening. One way an adult can defend against basic anxiety is by repressing it and converting it to anger. The Longitudinal studies by developmental psychologists on traits of temperament suggest that anger traits are to some extent inborn and relatively stable. Some children are more aggressive than others, and this is just their basic disposition. Although this is not an explanation of chronic anger, such a trait of temperament, if present, may interact with other causes and amplify chronic anger. If a child grows up in a family that allows frequent irrational outbursts of anger, then observational learning can play a role in a tendency toward chronic anger. The individual will imitate the behavior of parents or older siblings, that they saw growing up in which they were allowed to express aggressive impulses without restrictions. If a child is allowed to express their anger without any restriction, when they are in the school they might become an angry verbal or physical bully. A friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend is someone that an individual feels comfortable expressing their inner most thoughts with and that they enjoy spending time with. A friendship or marriage can not survive if one person is scared of or intimidated by the other person. I have had numerous friendships over the past twenty-three years, some were long lasting and other were for a short term. One friend in particular, that I met my freshman year at Sonoma State University has inspired me to write this paper about anger. As a freshman I admired her strong personality and opinions, and looked up to her. Over the years we remained close friends. I always knew she was a strong opinioned person, but she was always nice and friendly towards me. Over the last six months our friendships has gone on a downwards slope. Clair?s anger has gotten extremely worse and she has taking her anger out of everyone around her including myself. Clair planned her birthday party the weekend before my finals, and I told her I would not be able to attend. I was very scared to tell her I would not be able to attend, because I knew she was going to yell at me. As I figured she was extremely upset and yelled at me pretty badly. After that day our friendship has never been the same due to her anger. Many of our mutual friends no longer want continue their friendship with her due to her poor people skill, intense arguing in public places, and because they are intimidated by her. Friendships and boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are chosen and no one wants to be a part of a friendship or relationship in which they are afraid of the other person. Today?s work place is becoming increasingly dangerous and violent. Anger in the workplace has become a big problem in Corporate America. According to the Gallop poll two out of ten employees confessed to being angry enough to hurt a co-worker in the last six months. After reading the article it made me worry about getting a job in the corporate world. Thousands of innocent co-workers have been killed and injured in the work place because of angry co-workers. The problem contributing to the anger and violence occurring in the workplace is that many people have attitudes about themselves, about others, and about life which predispose them to behave in ways that are irrational and disrespecting towards others. These types of people are not sensitive and caring to other people?s feelings, they enjoy making others unhappy. When workers can not control their anger in the work place they are either sent to anger management classes or they are fired from their job. Some individuals who know they have a high level of anger do not try to get a job working with other because they know they will not be able to control their anger in the work place. These individuals will be limited in the types and amount of jobs that he or she will be able to have. Clair has a degree from Sonoma State University, but has not applied for any jobs because she knows deep down inside she does not work well with others and will not do well in the work place. Her anger is holding her back from numerous opportunities that would be quite beneficial for her career. How an individual see a situation often effects how they feel about it. They get angry because of the way that they interpret an event. Everyone gets angry at one point or another, but some people are able to manage their anger better than other. Someone who has an anger problem is not only hurting themselves they are also hurting their friends, loved ones, and co-workers. No-one wants to be yelled at or intimidated. Someone who has anger issues will have a hard time keeping a job and relationships with others because most people want to surround themselves with others who are caring, kind, friendly, honest, trustworthy, and approachable. It is in an individuals best interest to find some way to control their anger, weather it is seeing a counselor, or dealing with issues they may have with their self. If an individual chooses not to do anything about their anger problem they could quite possible lead a very unhappy and lonely life. Sources Used: http://www.angermgmt.com/workplace.html http://www.thehealthcenter.info/emotions/anger/causes.htm http://www.purifymind.com/CauseAnger.htm http://www.hopebox.net/id31.html http://allanjbagaoisan.150m.com/anger.htm