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Chapter 15
~“You allowed Peter Manning to define you for years…now it’s Blair. Well…go on back to her…I’m sure she’d take you and your Lord millions back in an instant! And who knows…maybe…just maybe, if you crawl around enough she’ll throw some scraps of love your way. And…if you beg enough, maybe she’ll even let you see Starr now and again…when it pleases her. Yes…go back to Blair…and be the man she thinks you are…the man you believe you are. ”~
Blair reveled in her vanity, looking at herself in her mirrored wall like some evil queen and smiling appreciatively, honoring her own beauty. It was her power…her dark art…and it had served her well. Checking herself over carefully she realized that she was still intact…though somewhat faded with age. Her body was in perfect shape, thin and muscular, from working out every day in prison and though there were a few prominent lines in her face she knew how to cover them up skillfully with cosmetic artfulness. Perhaps, in the near future she could have a few things done, she thought, but for now she looked pretty good. Adjusting her purple spandex dress she pulled the fabric up over her cleavage which spilled out above the strapless top. Cherry was coming by later and she was in the mood to celebrate…get a little drunk and a little naughty…she was a queen tonight and needed to be worshipped.
“You got it going on, girl,” she said to herself, as she sprayed her spiky hair up until it bristled stiffly. The doorbell interrupted her primping as she looked over at the clock. “Cherry…that better not be you, damn it…it’s way too early yet...Starr’s still up,” she said as she hurried toward the door.
When she opened it, Todd stood there.
She’d heard he’d been on a bender for weeks, but he’d obviously cleaned himself up for this visit as her eyes traveled admiringly down the length of his lean body. His hair was clean and well groomed, his beard neatly trimmed and his clothing impeccable, attired in a black suit and gray sweater, but it was his beautiful eyes that she noticed first, clear and alert.
“Todd? What are you doing here? I hope you’re not here to see Starr…because she still doesn’t want to see you…and I don’t want her upset…”
“I’m here to see you, Blair. I need to talk to you,” he said softly, looking directly into her eyes without a trace of anger in his voice. “It’s important.”
Blair looked at him suspiciously but his soft, contrite tone disarmed her and after a few moments she let him in.
Todd walked to the sofa, sat down and looked up at her, his eyes on her dress.
“You look beautiful in that dress, Blair…are you going out?”
Blair was completely taken aback by his compliment, something Todd rarely did in the past, and she touched her dress, blushing uncontrollably. It surprised her how affected she still was by him.
“No…I mean, yes…but not till much later. Why are you being nice to me…I’m not a fool…what do you want Todd? Make it quick…Starr is in her room and I don’t want her disturbed.”
“Sit down, please,” said Todd in a shaky voice. “This is hard for me…I’ve been struggling with this for weeks now…and…it’s important.”
Blair hesitated, but then approached him cautiously and sat across from him.
“Blair…after what you told Starr…well…I’ve been doing a lot of…soul-searching since then. Thinking about my life…our life…you and me, and wondering how we got here. You hating me that much…me hating you. How did it all go so wrong? I mean…we had it all for awhile…didn’t we?” he asked, his eyes misting up as he discussed their past.
Blair leaned over, her voice becoming softer as she reflected on their life.
“Yes…Todd, we did have it all. At least, I thought we did…until you ruined everything…until you left me and took up with Tea again. This is all your doing, Todd…not mine.”
“Yes…I know.”
Blair sat up and stared hard at him, her mouth opening slightly at his words of assent.
“What’s this all about, Todd? What’s going on here?”
“Blair…I’ve been thinking. We always fit well together…maybe…you and me, “ Todd hesitated slightly, “maybe we could try again?”
Blair stood up. She paced around the room, her heart pounding as she watched him. She knew that her revelation to Starr would affect Todd deeply…would destroy him…but, this was rather unexpected.
“Ha? We should what? What about your precious, little Tea?” she sneered.
“That’s over. We were a huge mistake. Tea and me…we’ve never been right together. We’ve tried and tried to make it work, but…in the end, it’s always the same. She tries to turn me into something I’m not…and, eventually, I revert back to being the only man I know how to be. And…I’m so tired of pretending to be someone I’m not…it’s fucking exhausting…way too much work. She’ll never understand me…not in the way you do, I know that now.”
Blair tried to control her excitement, but her eyes filled with tears.
“It’s true, Todd. I’ve always said that about her. I don’t even know who you are when you’re with that woman. But…Todd…you’ve hurt me so much…you’ve betrayed me. Do you really think that I’d take you back…just like that?”
Todd stood up and walked over to her, gently taking her hand in his. Blair noticed that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band.
“These last few weeks…my eyes have been opened…it’s like I’ve had some sort of epiphany. I need to feel like…I belong again. Blair…I know that you have no reason to trust me…but give me a chance to prove how much you mean to me, please. Just say yes…say you’ll take me back. I need to hear you say it.”
“I can’t believe this. Todd…are you sure? I mean…you really want to try again? But wait…what about Jack?”
“I’ll raise him as if he were my own. I owe him a lot, Blair…maybe more than anyone…and I’d love the chance to make it up to him…by giving his mother the life she deserves. Please, Blair…take me back. Let me be the man I use to be. Tell me that’s what you want…that you still…love me. That’s all I need to hear from you.”
Tears fell down Blair’s cheeks as her arms went around his neck and she held him tightly.
“Yes…yes…yes, Todd! That’s what I’ve always wanted…you and me, together…with Starr and Jack! Oh, Todd…I knew you still loved me…”
Todd pulled away from her gently and took her tearful face between his hands as he pulled her slowly toward him till their lips almost touched.
“I hate you, you lying, loathsome bitch,” he hissed as he shoved her away from him.
Blair fell back unsteadily, her eyes wild as her brow furrowed deeply, shocked and confused.
“What? What…but, you just said…” she stammered, shaking her head slowly.
“I just said that I wanted to hear you say it…that you still wanted me. Tea was right…that’s what this is all about, isn’t it, Blair…your ego? It was never about protecting Starr…it’s all about you! I just needed to hear it with my own ears. God…how pathetic you’ve become. You’d take me back after everything I’ve done to you…after I gave your kid away and handed you a jar filled with Mexican manure in his place…after I dumped you for Tea…after I helped to send you to prison…you really are nothing, aren’t you?”
“But…you said…you still wanted me,” she kept repeating, stunned and humiliated.
Todd walked up to her.
“I LOVE TEA! I love our baby…and Starr…those are the only 3 people in this world that mean anything to me. You are nothing to me…you’re less than nothing. You’re refuse, the stuff left over after putrid, rotting garbage is gone…the stuff that only starving maggots would touch. You disgust me! I despise you!”
“What? You…you son-of-a-bitch! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” she screamed.
“Not without my kid. That’s what I’m here for…and I’m not leaving without her.”
“LIKE HELL YOU’RE NOT! IF YOU TRY AND TAKE HER I’LL…CALL THE POLICE!”
Todd walked over to the phone, picked it up and whipped it at her as Blair’s hands slapped it away defensively.
“Go ahead, Blair…call the police. I have custody of Starr…and she’s being held here against MY wishes. That makes what you’re doing kidnapping. And…since you’re on parole…I don’t think you want a felony hanging over you’re head at this point, now do you? Please call them…because there’s no place I’d rather see you than back in prison.”
Todd headed down the hallway and opened Starr’s door. She was lying on the bed in fleecy, green pajamas with headphones on as he entered. When she saw him she jumped off the bed and pulled the headphones off, retreating from him a little.
“Daddy! You’re not suppose to be here.”
“Get your sneakers on…we’re going home.”
Blair came up behind Todd and pushed past him, looking wild and desperate.
“Honey…you’re not going anywhere with him, Starr, don’t worry. You’re safe with me.”
Todd walked into the room, picked up Starr’s sneakers and handed them to her.
“Starr…I have legal custody of you, so…put these on…or you can come in your bare feet, but…make no mistake…you’re coming home tonight.”
“Mommy…I don’t want to go with him.”
“Fine, Starr, we’ll do it the hard way,” said Todd. He grabbed Starr by the arm and pulled her into the hallway.
“NO, DADDY…I DON’T WANT TO GO WITH YOU,” she squealed and struggled as Todd dragged her into the livingroom.
‘TOUGH! When you’re 18, Starr you can run away from home and do what you like…but, until than, I’m your legal guardian and you will do what I tell you.”
“No…no…I don’t want to go with you. You’re…a…a rapist,” shouted Starr.
Todd stopped and looked at her, the sound of the word “rapist” sounding blasphemous coming from her sweet lips, like hearing profanity in a church. It was Blair he saw for a moment and it sent a shiver through him, knowing the influence this evil woman could have on his daughter.
“Yes…I am, Starr. I’m many things, but…I’m also your father…and you don’t get to disrespect me like that. Not ever! You don’t get to call me anything but…daddy. Now…let’s go.”
Starr turned away from him.
Blair tried to pull him away from Starr but Todd shoved her aside easily.
“YOU CAN’T DO THIS, TODD…SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU!”
“Shut up, Blair! We’re leaving.”
Todd opened the door and pulled Starr out with him, heading for the elevator. Blair ran after them but her sharp, spiked heels caught on the rug and the elevators doors closed in her face as she hit them in frustration with closed, tight fists.
“TODD…TODD…AAAGGH!!”
*****
2003 Copyright by Trog
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