The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
Chapter 20
Tea paced around the hotel room checking her watch and peering out the window, finding herself in the dubious position of waiting for Todd...yet, again. After he’d left her on that island she’d sat at the waters’ edge day after day, hoping he’d send help, or, more truthfully, that he’d return for her himself...a sad, little damsel waiting to be rescued by a man who’d rejected her love outright, but...he never did return. She promised herself she’d never set herself up like that again...and yet, here she was.
“But...that wasn’t Todd...it wasn’t Todd,” she repeated to herself, closing her eyes.
Finally there was a knock at the door. Rushing over she swung it open quickly.
“Did you find him?” she asked anxiously. Tukluk stood there alone, shaking his head.
Tea sighed loudly as he came in past her.
“Tuk, he’s been gone all night and most of the day. Taloy’s waiting to take us to the bus station and the last bus to Inuvik leaves in an hour. Where could he be?”
“I’m sure he’ll be here. There’s nothing he wants more than to go home.”
Tea crossed her arms and paced around.
“We...uh...had an argument and Todd tends to disappear when things don’t go his way,” she said, sitting on her bed, rubbing her temples raw. “I told Todd about all that’s happened since he’s been here and I don’t think he’s too happy with me right now. Maybe I just pushed him too far...I tend to do that with him. That’s how it is with us, Tuk, either he pushes too hard, or I do. Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t come back.”
Tukluk walked over and sat beside her, taking her hand.
“I’ve only known Todd Manning for eleven months and there hasn’t been a day in those eleven months when he hasn’t mentioned you, Tea. I doubt he’d disappear on you.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time...he’s always leaving me, or...I’m leaving him. We have terrible timing, Tuk. We never seem to be in the same place. And...I told him I’m getting married in a few days.”
Tukluk stood up and glared down at her in astonishment.
“You’re what?”
“I’m getting married...to someone else.”
Tea stood up and went to the window.
“Tea, perhaps you should ask yourself why you’re thousands of miles from home with one man when you’re about to marry another. I’m not blind, Tea...I see the way you to look at one another. I think you love Todd as much as he loves you.”
“No...he doesn’t love me, not in the way I love him.”
Tukluk was about to speak when the door suddenly opened and Todd walked in. He’d had his hair neatly cut to his shoulders and he’d bought some new clothes: a thick, gray sweater, some dark pants, boots and a long, black wool overcoat.
When Tea looked up she saw the image of the man she’d married years ago and her heart contracted sharply at the site of him.
“Hey, look at you. You’re all GQ, man...you look good, ” said Tukluk, smiling at him. “We were worried about you.”
“I’ve been in a twelve by twelve foot cell for three years, felt like stretching my legs.”
“Where the hell have you been, Todd?” asked Tea angrily, cocking her head and crossing her arms tightly.
He looked over at her in a red turtleneck sweater with her hair pulled up casually, a soft wisp hanging along her cheek as he fought the urge to push it back and touch her skin. She was biting her bottom lip the way she did when she was trying to control her temper...the way she bit her lip when he was inside her.
“I’ve been at the World Bank of Tuktoyaktuk all day, who would have guessed there was such a place? I’ve been working on getting my life back, no easy feat considering how long it took to establish my identity. Thank God for fax machines,” he said, never taking his eyes off of her face.
As their eyes locked, a thousand questions passed between them as the room went quiet. Tukluk shifted awkwardly.
“Well, your bus for Inuvik leaves in an hour, you’d better get going,” said Tukluk.
Todd turned to him.
“I’m Todd Manning, I don’t travel in buses. We’ll be flying out by helicopter. It’ll be here in an hour.”
“So, you really are rich,” said Tukluk, smiling. “Well, I guess...this is good-by then.”
He walked over to Todd and extended his hand. Todd removed an envelope from his pocket and placed it in Tukluk’s palm.
“What’s this?”
“A lovely parting gift,” said Todd, smirking mysteriously.
Tukluk opened it and read the slip of paper inside. He gasped.
“Todd! I can’t accept this, this is more money than I’ve ever made in my whole life!”
“You saved my life in that place, not just at the end, but...by being a friend. I owe you. Besides, you were always yakking about opening a restaurant, right? I’m sick of hearing about it...so, here, shut up already.”
“You don’t need to buy my friendship, Todd...it’s freely given.”
“I know, but it’s a bad habit of mine. I’m a rich man...I buy everything. Hell, Tuk, I even bought me a wife once.”
“And how did that work out?” laughed Tukluk.
“Not so good,” said Todd quietly, staring at Tea. “She ripped my heart out.”
Tukluk nodded, then gawked at the check in his hand and suddenly gave Todd a bear hug. Todd laughed, pulling away awkwardly.
“I...I don’t know what to say, man, but...the next time you’re in Tuktoyaktuk you’re coming to Tukluk’s place for the best caribou steak in town. Okay? Both of you.”
Tea smiled at him.
“It’s a date,” said Todd.
Tukluk walked over to Tea and embraced her warmly.
“I’ve heard so much about you, Tea...I feel like I know you. You’re just as smart and beautiful and brave as Todd described you, only...a little more so on every count,” he said, as Todd turned away from her.
“Thanks, Tuk, for saving Todd’s life...for everything. I hope all your dreams come true,” she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek, touching his long braids playfully.
“And I hope the same for you.”
Todd opened the door for him.
“Be safe, my friend. Tavvauvutit,” he said, shaking Todd’s hand warmly and leaning in close to him. “There is a saying among my people, Todd...’if you choose not to fight, you will never lose, but, also...you’ll never win.’ Don’t lose her...fight for her.” he whispered before walking away.
*****
“There is a saying among my people, Todd...’if you choose not to fight, you will never lose, but, also...you’ll never win.’ Don’t lose her...fight for her.” he whispered before walking away.
When Todd closed the door they stood at opposite ends of the room.
“How did you get money?”
“I once had a really smart and beautiful lawyer who advised me to put most of my money in off-shore accounts. She said with my penchant for trouble it was the best thing to do.”
Tea couldn’t help but smile.
“I should have known. I like your hair...that’s how you wore it when we first met.”
“I know...that’s why I cut it. I want everything to be the way it was.”
Todd removed his coat and let it drop on the floor as he walked closer to her, unable to stand the distance between them. Tea took a few steps back.
“Are you afraid of me,” he said quietly.
“No. I just...don’t want anything to happen, that’s all.”
Todd moved closer, just inches away from her as she avoided his eyes, looking stolidly at the floor.
“What could possibly happen,” he whispered, “you’re getting married, remember?”
Tea looked up at him as his face came closer, hovering above hers, his breath warm against her lips as he looked into her eyes. He smelled of fresh shaving cream and soap and a musky scent that emanated from his skin when his body was aroused.
“Yes, I am. And you’re going back to your life in Llanview...and to your family,” she said, walking away from him.
“That’s what you want me to do, isn’t it, Tea? You want me to go back to Llanview and to go back to Blair, that way you can tell yourself how right you were in marrying a man you don’t love. You can prove all your paranoid theories about how I really feel and what I really want...genetically! You always told me love was about risk, the risk of being hurt, but...you’re bailing so that I won’t get the chance to hurt you. Isn’t that it, Tea?”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“No, it’s not. He hurt you...not me, some guy who you thought was me. HE HURT YOU AND YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME PAY FOR IT BY CONDEMNING ME TO A LIFE WITH BLAIR!”
“STOP ANALYZING MY MOTIVES, OKAY? YOU LEFT ME, IT’S OVER!”
“NO, CORRECTION, YOU LEFT ME...AND GEMINI LEFT YOU!” he shouted at her. “Tell me something Tea, when you were stuck on that island with faux Todd...what happened? Did something happen between you? Did you sleep with him, Tea?”
Tea’s eyes misted and she turned away.
“You did, didn’t you? That’s what all this is about. You slept with him and then he dumped you for Blair. Is that what this is about? Hell hath no fury, like a Tea scorned...?”
“SHUT UP! JUST, SHUT UP, TODD!”
Todd closed his eyes.
“You slept with him, didn’t you? And...and he left you, anyway. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Tea sat on the sofa and shook her head slowly.
“Yes. I thought...I thought he was you. I thought you loved me again. And then, you...I mean, HE just left me on that island. I felt so humiliated...my faith in you...in us, so completely destroyed. Oh, God, what a complete fool I made of myself over him, shouting my love for him all over the place, even though my head kept telling me you were different...things were different. And then...he just left me there. I wanted to die, the pain was that unbearable. As the weeks passed I actually thought of just swimming into the ocean until my strength gave out and I was too tired to feel anything anymore,” she said, as she wiped tears away. “You...Gemini made me disrespect my very life...made me want to die. If Ross hadn’t been there with me...”
Todd walked over and put his arms around her finally realizing the pain and damage that Gemini had inflicted on her, her sense of betrayal and rejection so deeply interred, he couldn’t reach her.
“Baby, that wasn’t me,” he said, kissing her hair as he rocked her against him. “Who’s Ross?”
Tea pulled away and looked up at him with a surprise then realized he really didn’t know.
“He was a guy who worked for you...uh, for Gemini, and got stranded with us on that island. He was a good friend...to both of us.”
“Yeah? Please tell me he was bald and fat and had missing front teeth?”
Tea laughed.
“No...in fact he was quite handsome and heroic.”
“And I...uh,Gemini...left you in this tropical paradise with him?”
“He was a friend, Todd, and yes, you did leave me behind with Ross. You didn’t give a damn who I was with all you wanted was to go back to Blair...”
Todd grabbed her hand, pressing it hard between his as if trying to get beneath her skin with an intravenous persuasion.
“Tea, I didn’t leave you...that wasn’t me. I love you.”
She pulled her hand away and stood up.
“Don’t say that. Don’t say that until you go home again because I know in my soul that when you do, when you see your family...and your son and Starr...and Blair...you won’t give me a second thought.”
Todd sprung up.
“I’VE THOUGHT OF NOTHING ELSE BUT YOU FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS! WHY WOULD I FORGET YOU WHEN I WENT BACK TO LLANVIEW? WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO YOU? THIS IS INSANE, TEA!” he yelled with exasperation.
Tea looked away as the phone started to ring and he walked over to answer it.
“Yeah? Yeah...okay, we’ll be right down,” he said, hanging up and turning to her. “The helicopter’s here, in a lot down the street.”
Tea put on her parka and grabbed her bag from the floor, heading for the door. Todd walked over and tried to help her with it but she pulled away.
“No, I can do it. I can take care of myself.”
“This isn’t over, Tea.”
“Yes, it is. I’m glad you’re okay, that I was able to help you, because...I do care about you...so much. I can’t stop...caring...it’s my curse,” she said, wiping her eyes, “but I can’t give you the opportunity to hurt me again. I won’t survive it. Not again.”
Tea walked out the door as Todd stood still, feeling the depth of her agony inside him, the pain that someone else had inflicted...someone that a part of her believed was him.
Picking up his coat and slipping it on he ran out into the hall as the elevator doors were closing and her image disappearing as he rushed toward her. Turning toward the stairs he ran down quickly taking the three flights in seconds and running into the small lobby. Tea was walking out the front door as he followed her outside.
Taloy was there, leaning against his Taxi as Tea walked over and handed him her bag. Todd grabbed her arm and whipped her around to face him.
“WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING? YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME, TEA!”
“Taloy is taking me to the bus station, then I’m going to Inuvik to catch a flight home...to New York,” she said calmly and definitively, without looking up at him.
“Tea...baby, don’t do this. You’re just...hurt...and confused, and more angry at yourself than me, don’t you see that? Please...don’t leave me. I love you so much...”
“No...I don’t think you do. I’m leaving Todd...I’m going back to my life, a life I can count on. I’m sorry...I can’t do this...not again,” she said, tears beginning to collect on her dark lashes.
Pulling away from him she got into the cab quickly and shut the door, locking it. Looking up she saw his stunned, tortured face through the glass, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes as the taxi pulled away from the curb. Tea buried her face in her hands and broke down.
Todd stood in the same spot for a few moments, in the middle of the street as cars whipped around him, wiping his eyes and watching as the taxi disappeared into the morning traffic...slowly floating away over the horizon. The cold wind breezed through his hair as he watched her drift away from him, back to her old life with someone else...leaving him behind.
*****
2003 Copyright by Trog
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