Viki is the kind of woman who makes everyone feel as though they are her equal. A good journalist always makes people feel at ease, it's a gift that few people possess. Derek is a tough kid; he makes you love him from the first moment he extends his hand and gives you a smile. He is a charmer all right; had Viki on his side from that first moment.
"So, Derek, tell me about yourself," Viki says, as she places her recorder in the middle of the table.
"What do you wanna know, Mrs. Carpenter?"
"Well, let's see, how about your dreams."
Derek looks at me with tears forming in his eyes. He has admitted that he was guilty of two things that night, holding someone else's marijuana and pulling away, in a non-aggressive manner from the arresting officer. He said he wasn't resisting, just maneuvering himself into a better position because the arresting officer nearly yanked his shoulder from the socket. After he made that one slight move, the officer proceeded to beat him. In a span of maybe, ten or fifteen minutes, his basketball career was stolen from him.
"All I wanted to do, Mrs. Carpenter, is play basketball," he chokes, "that's all. Just wanted to play ball."
"Tea told me she's seen tapes of you playing; she was quite impressed."
"Ms. Delgado's so nice. My coach gave her this highlight reel he put together for college. Did she tell you I was gonna play for Duke?"
"Yes she did."
"Coach K called me himself and I went down there to work out with the team. It was my first time out of New York."
Viki smiles as she listens to him speak about his sport with such passion one can't help but be moved. "That's quite an honor."
"Yeah, but that's all out the window now. The doctor said my leg's messed up forever." He sort of smirks sarcastically and says, "There goes my college education. Can't run, can't go to school."
*****
After about an hour of conversation, Viki and I left. I think it went well, I mean, considering the circumstances. Derek handled himself well and I could tell Viki was impressed; she was moved to tears a couple of times.
"He is quite a remarkable young man," Viki remarks as we walk through the lobby of her hotel. "So sad, what can happen when a child is not given much guidance." She turns to me and says sadly, "You know, I can really see Starr turning out like him."
Todd had said she wasn't the same child I would remember, but to hear Viki say such a thing was something different entirely. She looks me in my eyes, trying to gauge my reaction, knowing how close we once were. We stop walking and she pulls me into the hotel restaurant.
"There's so much you don't know, Tea," she says cryptically.
*****
After we are seated, Viki continues to catch me up on the latest happenings. "Starr has turned into quite the little terror, I'm afraid. Nobody can control her and, quite frankly, I'm afraid of what's going to happen to her."
"What are Todd and Blair doing about her?"
"They're fighting with each other, mostly. I just don't know what they're going to do about her." Viki takes a forkful of salad, but puts it back down on the plate before taking a bite. "Have you been in touch with Todd?"
My eyes can't meet hers; I look down and shovel my food from one side of my plate to the other. I don't like talking about us, it's almost like what we had is sacred, and whatever's going on between us takes on that same air of sacredness. I answer with a quiet "yes," and will say no more.
"Ah, well, these children, they need guidance. I'm afraid that neither Todd nor Blair provides her with that," she says. "So, what about Derek's parents, where are they?"
There is spot above Viki's head, a black strip of paint that fascinates me. I have tuned her out and that black strip is like a television screen to me. On it, I see a future I wish were my current reality. I see me with Todd, Starr and a daughter we created. She's only a few months old with her father's eyes and my nose. I shake my head at my fantasy, snapping myself back to the present.
"Tea, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I asked about Derek's parents. Where are they?"
I flutter my hands and say, "there is no father in the home and the mother, well, she's pretty much out of the picture too. Derek has spent most of his life living with his grandmother"
She shakes her head in obvious frustration and I do the same. "That's awful."
I nod, unable to look her in the eyes. I don't think I've taken one bite of food; the mere thought makes me feel a little queasy. I know my doctor expects me to maintain a certain diet, but I don't feel as though I can hold anything down. In fact, all I want to do right now is sleep. I have my beeper set as an alarm, telling me when it's time for yet another dose of my lifeline. That's what I now call my medication, my lifeline because without them, I would die. My alarm goes off embarrassingly loud; I fumble through my purse, trying to turn it off. Viki's eyes never leave me; I refuse to look, but I feel her eyes burrowing into me. "I'm so sorry about this."
"Tea, honey, you don't have to apologize."
I blink back my tears and pull out two bottles, both the contents of which I have to take twice a day. "I know."
"You sure you can handle this case?"
I place my bottles on the table, rather loudly, and look her straight in the eyes. "My work is pretty much all I have left."
"I understand."
This is my first full day of taking my medication and I've vomited after each dose. I have it timed now; I can sit another ten minutes with her before I will be forced to excuse myself. It will take me another two minutes to get to the bathroom, which will leave me with a three minute cushion to get sick.
"Is there someone who will accompany you to all of your appointments?"
"Yes."
"Okay, but should you need backup, I'm here."
I reach across the table, grab her hand and thanked her for her kindness.
*****
Todd calls from the car and insists he will be here in a half hour. In spite of myself, I am desperately looking forward to his visit. Rachel is gone for the evening, which is probably a good thing. With all the time she spends with Jared, I can't figure out why they don't move in together.
I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'm standing in front of the mirror, primping for a man I have no intention of getting involved with. Sometimes, even I can't figure out my motivations, but here I am, trying to beautify myself. I just can't see him looking as though I've gone through a war.
When there is a knock on the door, I think it's him, so I don't even bother asking who it is. I open my eyes in wide eyed shock, when I see Miriam standing on the other side of the door. Oh shit, I think.
"Don't you 'oh, shit,' me Ms. Delgado, you haven't returned any of my calls." She breezes right past me; immediately I notice the length and color of her nails. I don't know of many people who could pull off hot pink fluorescent nail polish with a rhinestone design, but somehow, she does it. A trendsetter, that's what she's always been. "Girl, I know, I thought they were a bit much," she admires her nails, "but as long as I can type." She plops herself down on the couch. "And who's this chick who keeps answering your phone." Long pause. "You haven't switched teams, have you?"
"Please, make yourself comfortable and no, I haven't switched teams."
"Good. You look like death dug up two times."
"Thanks a lot." I self-consciously run my fingers through my hair. I really do not want her to run into Todd. Lord, I do not want her to run into him. Mariam always speaks her mind, always; I can only imagine what she has read about my marriage and my former husband.
"Why do you keep looking at your watch? You expectin' somebody?"
"Yes." She grins the way she did when she got lucky or was about to get lucky. "Oh, do not give me that look."
"I'm not giving you any kind of look."
"Right."
"I suppose you want me to leave so you can finish getting ready?"
"That would be ideal."
"Hey, I know how it is; I wouldn't want anyone messin' up my action neither." She gets up and just as quickly as she'd appeared, she is in the doorway, getting ready to disappear. "Call me and let me know how he is."
"Get outta here," I smile.
I watch in horror as she turns, just as the elevator "dings" and Todd emerges. I hold my breath, hoping she doesn't recognize him from the pictures she undoubtedly found on the Net. To my relief, she pays little attention as he passes. Over his shoulder, she gives me the "thumbs up" sign, just as she did when we were children.
Todd barely notices her as he makes his way toward me, sporting his requisite scowl. But the closer he gets, the more apparent the twinkle in his eye becomes. "Hey, Delgado, what are you grinnin' at?"
"You," I reply, still smiling at him. "Come in." I step to the side, checking him out as he passes. He rarely wears anything slightly casual, but today, he is wearing a simple pair of khakis and a crisp white shirt, rolled up to the elbow.
"Where's the roommate from hell?"
"Her name is Rachel and she heard you were coming, so she vacated the premises."
"She's smarter than I gave her credit for being."
"Very funny, Manning. How'd you get away from your wife for the evening His cologne is all around me; he hadn't changed since we parted. God, the memories it brought back.
"I told her I was going out and not to call." He smiles that sort of evil smile that has become so much a part of him. "Any more questions?"
"Nope."
"Now, I've got one for you."
"Okay."
"What are you doing seeing Viki?" He maneuvers himself and forces me to look him straight in the face.
I shift my weight, trying to avoid his question. The last thing I want is to hurt him more and knowing I'm working with Viki will do just that. I shrug my shoulders, but that's not enough to ease his paranoid mind.
