The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
| ONE LAST TIME BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 43 - 45 |
ONE LAST TIME
chapter 43:
Todd: You'll never give up on me, Tea. I won't let you.
Tea: What are you going to do...hold me hostage again?
[Todd lets go of her arm.]
Tea: That got your attention.
Todd: I'm sorry about that.
Tea: An apology...from Todd Manning? Can't be. Todd Manning doesn't do apologies. He also doesn't do love, respect, tenderness...
Todd: I did all of that junk with you. I was a total sap for you. I knew you'd make me regret it.
Tea: Well, I regret it, too. I regret every moment that I wasted on you.
Todd: Go ahead...split on me. You're no different than all the rest.
[Todd turns and leaves the room.
Tea finishes dressing and packs her suitcase. She holds back the tears as she prepares to leave the penthouse, and Todd, for the last time.
Downstairs, Todd stands in the living room, staring out the window, with his back to the staircase.
From the top of the stairs, Tea observes him for several seconds before beginning her slow, final descending of the spiral staircase into the living room.]
Tea: I'm leaving now.
[Todd remains silent, still facing away from her.]
Tea: No final words? No parting insults?
Todd: I love you.
[Tea is stunned for a moment before she begins a sarcastic laugh.]
Tea: Too little, too late.
Todd: That's all I've got...literally.
Tea: You've got a lot. You've got money...
Todd: Not enough for you to stick around.
Tea: I never stuck around in the past for the money, either. I had hope that things could get better, that someday you'd develop genuine affection for me. It never happened.
[Todd turns around and faces her. The sadness on his face is enough to cause Tea's determination to waver.]
Todd: I love you. You got what you want, and you're still splitting on me.
Tea: I'm leaving because I can't live like this. I can't allow you to take your anger out on me anymore. I took it for a long time, a lot longer than I ever should have. Not anymore. I deserve better.
Todd: Like that phony stuff that your Semen Donor tosses at you?
Tea: Yes, like the tenderness that Simon shows me. Even when he's angry at me it doesn't feel as hateful as it does during times that you're not even angry at me.
Todd: I'm always angry at you. You screwed everything up. Everything was going fine until you showed up and started screwing around inside me. Now, I feel all this junk that I never wanted to feel. It's all your fault.
Tea: What is?
Todd: Everything. Everything that happened after you split the last time is your fault.
Tea: My fault?
Todd: If you had stuck around...
Tea: I would have been miserable.
Todd: You were miserable without me.
Tea: I've been happy.
Todd: You've been pretending to be happy. If you were really happy, you never would have come back here months ago, just to see me. You never would have seduced me. You never would have come back to defend me, either. If you were happy with your Semen Donor, if you actually loved the guy, you wouldn't be standing here right now, wanting to stay.
Tea: I don't want to stay.
Todd: Then, get the hell out.
[Tea turns away from him.]
Todd: I love you.
[Tea turns back toward him.]
Tea: Stop saying that.
Todd: Isn't that what you're always wanting me to say?
Tea: I only want to hear those words when they're true. They never are with you.
Todd: I love you. That's the truth. You'll have to live with the agony of knowing that you walked out on me when I needed you, just like my mom did.
Tea: Don't use your childhood to get what you want.
Todd: Why not? It happened. It sucked. I should get whatever I want now because of the hell I went through then.
Tea: I went through hell, too.
Todd: Okay, you can stay.
Tea: I can't.
Todd: You don't want to?
Tea: That's right.
Todd: That's garbage. You want this. You want what we have.
Tea: I don't want what we have. I want something better.
Todd: What's better than being with the person you love who loves you?
[Tea is silent.]
Todd: There's only one thing that's better.
Tea: Let me guess...revenge?
Todd: Beer!
Tea: Beer? You prefer beer to love?
Todd: Love hurts.
Tea: So does beer...if you drink enough of it.
Todd: There's not enough in existence to equal what this feels like.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Seriously, Tea, you're a lot like beer to me.
Tea: I've been compared to many things, by many people, but beer is not one of them.
Todd: Beer dulls the pain. It makes my head feel weird...and my stomach. It gets me thinking about stuff I shouldn't think about. It makes me angrier. It makes me calmer. It gives me a buzz. It tastes great.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: In the morning, when I wake up and there's no beer left, I hate the way that feels. All I want is more beer. I want to hold my beer. I want to taste it. I want to go slow. I want to enjoy every second I have with my beer. I want my beer to make the nightmares go away, because there's something else, something better right in front of me, in my hands, instead of all the screwed up stuff in my head. I want my beer to take away all the lousy feelings that are always there, except when I have my beer in my hands. I want that, Tea. I want to get drunk every day. I want to get lost in that, instead of in all that garbage inside me. I want you to stay.
Tea: You'll continue trying to alienate me.
Todd: You know why I do that, why I say the stuff that ticks you off.
Tea: Because you don't care about my feelings.
Todd: That's all I care about.
Tea: That's not true.
Todd: What's the best thing for you? Being with me, or some loser you don't give a damn about?
Tea: I care about Simon.
Todd: He's safe. He's boring. He doesn't surprise you.
Tea: He loves me.
Todd: I love you. The fact that I've said that more times in the last few minutes than I have in the last couple of years should be enough for you to know that I'm serious. I don't want you to split again. I'll hold you, Tea. You can cry. You can tell me stuff about your mom. I don't care. I just don't want you to leave this time.
Tea: I can't keep trying, only to have you go out of your way to hurt me again. I can't be that masochistic...not this time.
Todd: I'm willing to put myself through whatever agony you want. Just say that you'll give me another chance to be whatever the hell you want me to be.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
ONE LAST TIME
chapter 44:
Tea: I can't do this.
Todd: Why not?
Tea: The minute...no, the second...I agree to try again, you'll begin your renewed campaign to push me away.
Todd: So?
Tea: So...I can't put myself through this anymore. Not only have I had more than enough of this game, but I'm pregnant, remember?
Todd: You think I could forget when you're standing right in front of me, looking like that?
Tea: Go ahead. Start in again with the insults about how hideously fat I am. Get it out of your system now. Help me out the door.
Todd: I'd need one of those cranes they have at construction sites to help you out the door.
Tea: You can do better than that. Call me names. Call Simon names.
Todd: That loser isn't here. This is about you and me...nobody else.
Tea: But, there is someone else here with us.
Todd: I won't do anything to your kid.
Tea: You did to Blair's.
Todd: That's different.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because, it is. I might get pissed off at you sometimes, but I would never hurt you that much.
Tea: So, you do recognize that you hurt Blair? You've been acting so nonchalantly about this whole mess.
Todd: I gave away my own kid. Do you really think that doesn't eat away at me?
Tea: It's hard to tell, with the way you've been acting. The man I used to know would never have done any of this to begin with, not to an innocent child, whether that child was his or not.
Todd: You always saw stuff that wasn't there.
Tea: I saw you with your daughter.
Todd: That's different. She's my kid.
Tea: I saw you with the sick children at the hospital. I saw you with...
Todd: Give it up, Delgado.
Tea: No. Something had to change inside you for you to do what you did to that little boy, just moments after he was born.
[Todd moves toward the staircase and sits on one of the lower steps. He runs his hands through his hair as Tea slowly moves closer to him and sits next to him.]
Tea: I'm your lawyer...
Todd: You just quit on me...like you always do when I really need you.
Tea: I'm back on the job, like I always am when you really need me. As your lawyer, anything you say to me is confidential.
Todd: None of my other lawyers ever stuck to that rule.
Tea: This lawyer will. You can tell me anything.
Todd: I can't tell you this.
Tea: Are you afraid that I'll judge you? Because, I won't.
Todd: I can't tell you because I don't have a clue what happened. Yeah, something changed. I don't know what. I don't know how. I don't know why. Everything just feels so different.
Tea: Is it because you're heart's buried deeper?
Todd: What heart?
Tea: Don't start that again.
Todd: Seriously, Tea, what heart? I don't feel anything anymore.
Tea: Not for anyone?
Todd: You...sort of...sometimes. But, you don't believe me about that.
Tea: It can be difficult.
Todd: Because you're screwed up, too?
Tea: My previous experiences are part of the reason. You also say the words sometimes when you don't mean them.
Todd: So do you.
Tea: I have never lied about my feelings for you.
Todd: You lied to your Semen Donor.
Tea: I do love him.
Todd: Then, you lied to me.
Tea: I can love you both, even if it is in very different ways.
Todd: I don't think it works that way for me.
Tea: Let's put aside your feelings for me for the moment...
Todd: Good!
Tea: You love Starr. That I'm certain of.
Todd: Even that changed. When I came back, I thought it would be the same. I thought I could count on that much. But, it changed. She changed.
Tea: How?
Todd: If you cut Blair in half, you'd have Starr.
Tea: She's become more like Blair than you had hoped?
Todd: When I left, it was like she was the best of both of us. The little, tiny speck of good in me that you're always going on and on about, and the little bit of almost good that's in Blair, combined and that was what Starr was. She was way better than either of us could ever be. But, I came back and everything was different. Now, it's like she's the worst of both of us and neither of us gives a damn.
Tea: Clearly, you do, or you wouldn't be so upset about it.
Todd: I thought being a dad was the one thing I could get right in my life but I screwed that up, too. I knew that someday she'd figure out that it was all my fault and she'd hate me for screwing up with her, but I didn't know she'd figure it out so soon.
Tea: You can make changes before it's too late.
Todd: It's already too late. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me...ever again.
Tea: I don't believe that.
Todd: She had me thrown in the slammer.
Tea: Starr did?
Todd: Who else?
Tea: Blair's the one behind the charges against you.
Todd: Did you really think that Blair figured this all out on her own?
Tea: I thought that you probably arranged for her to find out.
Todd: If I did that, I'd lose my kids. She had to stay clueless for me to get what I wanted.
Tea: Which was what?
Todd: My kids.
Tea: The whole family package.
Todd: I got tired of pretending. I only wanted what was inside the package, so I dumped the box.
Tea: You dumped Blair?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: Is that when she shot you?
Todd: No, that's when she stabbed me.
Tea: She stabbed you, too? Where?
Todd: In the kitchen.
Tea: I meant, where on your body.
Todd: That's not important.
Tea: It is to me.
Todd: It was all your fault anyway.
Tea: Mine?
Todd: If you had never come back and seduced me, she never would have been so pissed off about me cheating on her with you...twice, and she never would have come after me with that huge knife.
Tea: I'm surprised you still have all your manly parts.
Todd: I wouldn't if Blair had better aim.
Tea: Why would you even have told her about us?
Todd: You're the one who's always into the truth.
Tea: But, you're not, unless you have ulterior motives.
Todd: It was kind of fun.
Tea: Was getting stabbed fun?
Todd: It would have gotten me custody of my kids, if Starr hadn't told Blair what she knew.
Tea: Starr knew about the baby?
Todd: I did too good a job at teaching her how to spy on people without them knowing about it.
Tea: So, she knew about it for some time before she told anyone?
Todd: She was holding onto it, waiting for the right time to use it.
Tea: She blackmailed you?
Todd: She is Blair's kid.
Tea: What were her demands?
Todd: You don't want to know.
Tea: She wanted you to stay with Blair?
Todd: And, stay away from you. I couldn't do that.
Tea: But, you knew I was pregnant. You knew you didn't want to be with me anymore. Why not continue the charade you've been living, if it would allow you to continue having custody of your children?
Todd: You think I should have stayed with the lunatic who tried to separate me from my...
Tea: Your most valuable asset?
Todd: You think that's my most valuable asset?
Tea: Actually, I think your heart is. But, I do also value that other asset of yours.
Todd: My heart, if I had one, is the other thing she tried to take out, when she shot me. She really needs to work on her aim if she ever wants to finally succeed at murdering one of her husbands.
Tea: Her irrational behavior is one of the reasons I don't think we'll have to worry about your criminal case going very far, or a custody battle, either.
Todd: I thought you quit.
Tea: I told you, I'm back on the case.
Todd: It doesn't matter how insane Blair is. Everyone in this town still hates me more than they do her.
Tea: But, many people in this town care about your children. They don't want them to be raised by an unstable parent.
Todd: Which leaves me out of the running, too.
Tea: Maybe.
Todd: What are you thinking, Delgado?
Tea: From what you've described, Starr hasn't been in a healthy environment this whole time, and now the baby is also in an unhealthy environment, as well.
Todd: If I wanted custody, I'd have it. I'd just buy off a judge again.
Tea: Why haven't you?
Todd: Starr hates my guts. Blair may have screwed her up but she still wants to be around her.
Tea: Just like her daddy.
Todd: I don't want to be anywhere near that homicidal maniac ever again.
Tea: Really?
Todd: Since you don't want my money, my manly parts are all I have left to offer you. I won't risk them again.
Tea: Offer me your heart and I'll stay with you forever.
Todd: Until you get scared and run again. Or, until I screw up your kid.
Tea: I know you. I know that you have enough love inside you to offer some to this child.
Todd: I'm not like you. I can't just love every stray that crosses my path.
Tea: Do you love me?
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
ONE LAST TIME
chapter 45:
Todd: I said the words to you a bunch of times. What more do you want?
Tea: I want you to mean those words. I want you to genuinely love me.
Todd: You want a lot.
Tea: Only what I deserve.
Todd: Whenever you believe me about that, you split on me, anyway.
Tea: I do get scared...sometimes.
Todd: All the time.
Tea: You understand, don't you?
Todd: I don't understand any of this. I just know that I don't want to watch you walking away from me again. I guess I could close my eyes. Or, you could just wait and ditch me while I'm sleeping again.
Tea: Is that why you refuse to go to sleep? Are you afraid I'll leave and you won't be awake to talk me out of it?
Todd: If I had been awake, you still would have split on me anyway. You were always looking for an excuse. I guess you finally found one...whatever the hell it was.
Tea: I don't think I could have left any other way than the way I did. If you had been awake and asked me to stay, I would have.
Todd: There's no way you would have stayed, no matter what I said. You were in such a hurry to get away from me, you didn't even slow down enough to grab your stuff on your way to the door.
Tea: I knew that if I didn't leave that very moment, I never would.
Todd: You never should have. You said you wouldn't. You lied.
Tea: So did you.
Todd: No way! You're not blaming me for what you did.
Tea: You promised that you wouldn't push me away.
Todd: I told you that I would try not to do that. There's a difference.
Tea: A difference I couldn't live with anymore. I needed to be close to you, to feel that we were making progress toward each other.
Todd: I fucked you. How much more progress did you want?
Tea: I wanted you to open your heart to me.
Todd: I did.
Tea: But, you promptly slammed it shut again.
Todd: But, I did make the mistake of letting you think I had one of those things. That should have been enough for you.
Tea: I needed more.
Todd: You always do.
Tea: What about now?
Todd: What about it?
Tea: Can you give me what I need this time?
Todd: Do you need to have sex?
Tea: I'm still pretty satisfied after our earlier session.
Todd: That was enough for you?
Tea: It wasn't for you?
Todd: Whatever! I'm hungry. I'm ordering breakfast.
Tea: Am I staying?
Todd: Why are you asking me?
Tea: I can only stay if we set some ground rules and you adhere to them.
Todd: I hate those things.
Tea: I'm pregnant.
Todd: You don't have to keep bragging about that.
Tea: I shouldn't be around a lot of stress right now.
Todd: So, you don't want to be around me anymore?
Tea: Being with you can be stressful, but it can also be relaxing.
Todd: When?
Tea: When you're not insulting me. When you're not pushing me away.
Todd: I wasn't doing any of that while we were doing it and you still freaked out.
Tea: I know. When you told me that you loved me, and you looked at me the way that you did... But, then you got bitter and angry, just like you always do.
Todd: You told me you were ditching me again.
Tea: You could have tried asking me to stay, instead of giving me additional reasons to leave.
Todd: The only thing I'm good at when it comes to relationships is making them go away. I don't know how to get you to stay.
Tea: I'll stay. But, you need to stop insulting me.
Todd: Guys are allowed to tease their chicks about being fat while they're pregnant, right?
Tea: Am I your chick?
Todd: For the rest of the day.
Tea: What about tomorrow?
Todd: You're having another guy's kid. I'm going to prison.
Tea: No, you're not. I won't allow it.
Todd: You won't be able to stop it. My only other option is going into hiding. If that happens, you won't be leaving with me this time.
Tea: I'd be tempted.
Todd: So, if I asked you to ditch everything again, would you?
Tea: Like I said, I would be tempted.
Todd: But, you wouldn't do it. You don't care as much about me as you used to.
Tea: In the past, the most important person in my life was you.
Todd: Now, you've got your Semen Donor to be all mooey and gooey with.
Tea: Simon is part of the reason I can't abandon my life this time.
Todd: If he's so fucking great why did you ditch him to come back here? Unless, it's the fucking part that he isn't any good at. But, if that were the reason, you wouldn't be here, either.
Tea: I won't discuss my sex life with Simon.
[Todd stands up and walks toward the fireplace. He picks up a thin glass vase and angrily slams it against the wall while he's still holding it. Tea rushes to his side, concerned about the damage he's done to his one unbandaged hand.
Todd pulls away from her attempts to look at his hand.]
Todd: Go back to Semen. Fuck your brains out with him. I don't care.
Tea: If you care so little, why did you do that?
Todd: I wanted to see what it felt like.
Tea: How did it feel?
Todd: It's the best feeling ever.
Tea: Pain?
Todd: Life is pain. Love is agony. It's a good thing I've never loved anybody, including you.
Tea: Don't do this.
Todd: I'm being honest. You're always harping on me about that. Well, here's the truth -- I was using you, that's all. I used you to get my kid. I used you to keep my ass out of jail. I used you to get off. That's all!
Tea: You're bleeding. Let me take care of your hand.
Todd: You've done enough. You promised me you were leaving. The door's that way.
Tea: I told you I would stay.
Todd: You don't want to stay. This has all been a lie. You only came here so you could play games with your Semen Donor's head. You were hoping he'd beg you to go back to him. But, he didn't, did he? He doesn't give a damn about you. He knows that I fucked you again and he doesn't even care. You're nothing to him.
Tea: Apparently, I'm something to you, because you do care that I fucked Simon. You care so much that you'll hurt yourself to shift the pain from your heart to other body parts.
Todd: I don't give a damn about you. I never have. I only used you.
Tea: You already made that clear. Now, stop acting like a little boy and let me take care of your hand.
Todd: I don't need you.
Tea: Yes, you do.
Todd: I never needed you. I never gave a damn about you.
Tea: So you've said.
Todd: It's the truth. All that junk about you helping me sleep, and making me feel okay, and all that other stuff, was all lies. I never meant any of it. Simon doesn't mean any of the junk he says to you, either.
Tea: No one could possibly love me, is that what you want me to believe?
Todd: You already believe that.
Tea: I do. You could change everything. You already have.
Todd: I made you miserable. You hated every second of it. You made that clear when you left me lying there naked, like a total idiot.
Tea: I'm sorry that I hurt you. I was hurting, too. I still am. Maybe, if we try, we could help each other. Maybe, neither of us has to hurt this much.
Todd: I have better things to do.
Tea: Better than sharing your heart with me? Better than loving me?
Todd: You never wanted any of that junk. It was all lies. You're just like all the rest. You say you give a damn about me, that you'll never leave, but you left, just like everyone always does.
Tea: I don't have to leave right now. You could ask me to stay.
Todd: Why would I do that? Why would I want that? I'd have to be a total idiot to want to be anywhere near you.
Tea: I guess I'm the only idiot left in the room, because all I want right now is to spend time with you. Thank you, Todd, for the few minutes of happiness you allowed me to share with you. Despite everything, you'll always have a special place in my heart, even if you never again allow me to have any place in your life.
[Tea picks up her suitcase and quickly leaves the penthouse.
Todd stares at the door, devastated that he once again made her disappear from his life, when what he really wanted was for her to stay forever. The pain of his bleeding hand is forgotten as the agony of his heart breaking at her loss from his life overwhelms him.]
to be continued...
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
2002 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
FanFiction Home
Home
