| SMALL BLESSINGS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 121 - 125 |
SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 121:
[Tea looks up as Todd enters the exam room.]
Todd: What's with the look?
Tea: Nothing.
Todd: Did you think I bailed on you?
Tea: Did you?
Todd: I'm here.
Tea: For how long?
Todd: For as long as you're willing to put up with me.
Tea: I know this is scary...
Todd: This is where I want to be, Delgado. Okay, not in this hospital, but wherever you are, wherever the kid is. You're my family. Have I humiliated myself enough? Will you let this go?
[Tea returns her gaze to her sleeping nephew. Todd's gaze follows hers.]
Todd: When did he conk out?
Tea: Seconds after you abandoned us.
Todd: I stepped out of the room, Tea. You're making too much out of this.
Tea: I heard your conversation with Viki.
Todd: You were eavesdropping?
Tea: Not on purpose.
Todd: You can't get pissed off at me about this. I didn't go through with it.
Tea: I understand this is difficult for you. I need to know that we can count on you.
Todd: You can count on me. Count on it!
Tea: If we can't...
Todd: I said you can!
Tea: It's difficult for me to trust that.
Todd: Which is the same as saying you don't trust me.
Tea: I have reason to doubt.
Todd: I'm still here.
Tea: I know, but it's important that Little E not get any more attached to you if you won't be able to stay much longer.
Todd: This isn't about the kid. This is about you.
Tea: It's about both of us. The future will be enough of a struggle without having to add in broken hearts when you finally gather enough courage to leave us.
Todd: I'm not leaving you. Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you.
Tea: We'll talk about this later. Right now, I still need to talk to the doctor.
Todd: I'm going with you.
Tea: You should stay here in case Little E wakes up.
Todd: I'm sticking around. I get to be a part of all of this from now on. I get to know what's going on.
Tea: I'll fill you in.
Todd: He's my kid, too. As soon as we get him out of here, we'll make that legal. We'll get married and then we'll both adopt him.
Tea: What if this becomes too much for you again? What if, the next time you walk out, you don't come back?
Todd: I'll always come back.
Tea: I don't need you to always come back. I need you to always stay.
Todd: I'm not like you. I can't shove all this stuff inside me and pretend it doesn't scare the hell out of me.
Tea: What scares you the most -- Little E having diabetes, or you finally making a commitment that you actually keep?
Todd: You've bailed on this commitment thing between us, too.
Tea: Not when you needed me.
Todd: I always need you.
Tea: Why were you abandoning us?
Todd: I didn't go through with it.
Tea: Only because Viki talked you out of it.
Todd: The only thing Viki's yacking does is make me want to jump off a really tall building. I stayed because I thought about you, and I thought about this kid. Everything sucks right now. Starr's pissed at me. Little E's sick. You're miserable. No matter what I do, I'll lose someone I love. That's the reason I walked out.
Tea: If you need to choose Starr instead of us...
Todd: It wouldn't change anything. I'd hate every second of the rest of my life if I didn't get to be with you.
Tea: You hate every second that Starr is upset.
Todd: I'm screwed. I know that. There's no way for me to get this right.
Tea: I'll understand if you need to choose your daughter.
Todd: You just want me out of your life.
Tea: I've never wanted that.
Todd: Before you came rushing back in here, when the kid started crying, I made a mistake. I told the kid how I feel about him. I used the 'L' word.
Tea: That's not a bad word.
Todd: It's the worst word there is. I hate saying that word. I hate feeling that feeling. Everyone always uses it against me.
Tea: He's a baby.
Todd: Now! Someday, he'll know I'm weak and use it against me.
Tea: Loving someone doesn't make you weak.
Todd: It makes you stupid.
Tea: I'm scared to love him, too.
Todd: He'll be okay. He has to be.
Tea: I lost my heart to him more than I thought I would.
Todd: Kids are sneaky like that. They swipe your heart without you even knowing it. By the time you figure it out, it's too late.
Tea: The thought of anything happening to him terrifies me.
Todd: You won't be alone.
Tea: I'm always alone.
Todd: Not anymore.
Tea: What if I count on you and you walk away again?
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 122:
Todd: I'll never bail on you again. I need you to believe that and let this go.
Tea: I can't do that.
Todd: Trust, remember that?
Tea: I'm scared. I have reason to be.
Todd: So do I. You've split on me tons of times, too, remember? That isn't stopping me from risking everything to be with you.
Tea: You were ready to walk away from us, again, just a few minutes ago.
Todd: But, I came back.
Tea: But, you left.
Todd: I only got a few feet away. It doesn't count unless I leave the building.
Tea: Is that the rule?
Todd: It is now. Are you ready to let this go?
Tea: Are you ready to make a genuine commitment?
Todd: You're my family, both of you.
Tea: Those are words. I need actions.
Todd: You want me to marry you right now, to prove I'm serious about you being stuck with me forever?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: I'll go pay off whoever I have to so this is legal today.
Tea: Wait!
Todd: Make up your mind.
Tea: We should wait until Little Enrique is released.
Todd: He doesn't care when we get hitched, or where. He just wants you to stop splitting on me.
Tea: I'm not the one who was prepared to walk away from this relationship just moments ago.
Todd: You know why this is hard for me.
Tea: I know that Little E being in the hospital brings back painful memories for you.
Todd: It sucked when Starr was in here and they were doing stuff that made her cry. I hate remembering that. I hate it that I have another kid that I have to let people put through hell so he can get better. This just sucks!
Tea: We need to be strong for him.
Todd: I'm not like you. Watching him hurt rips me up inside.
Tea: You think this is easy for me?
Todd: Easier than it is for me.
Tea: I hate watching him like this, too. I love him just as much as you do.
Todd: That's why it's easier for you.
Tea: I don't understand.
Todd: You can say all that junk and not feel like you need to get the hell out of here before someone figures it out.
Tea: I've known for some time now that you love my nephew. I also know that you love me.
Todd: You're the only person I trust to know any of that. Everyone else would use it against me.
Tea: Viki wouldn't.
Todd: Are you kidding? Do you know how many times she's tried to hugged me since she figured out I've turned into a complete sap because of you?
Tea: Loving us doesn't make you a sap.
Todd: I feel like a sap. I want to give up everything else and spend every second with both of you. That's not normal. Even you want to get away from the kid and go back to work.
Tea: I enjoy my career. It doesn't mean that I don't love my nephew.
Todd: I didn't say that.
Tea: What are you saying?
Todd: If you're working and I'm not, people will think I'm one of those losers I always make fun of because they deserve it.
Tea: A house-husband? A stay-at-home dad?
Todd: See? Either way it sounds disgusting. I'd be living in your house. You'd be paying for everything, because you're too stubborn to let me pay for anything. It would suck! You have to quit your job, too.
Tea: What if I allowed you to pay some of the bills?
Todd: All of them, or no deal.
Tea: Are you sure you want to give up the newspaper business? I know how much you love making life miserable for everyone in this town.
Todd: If we're married, I'll make life miserable for you. That's enough for me. Why isn't making life hell for me enough for you?
Tea: Because I enjoy my career.
Todd: But, we could go anywhere. We could do anything. You don't have to torture yourself being stuck in stupid courtrooms all the time.
Tea: Unlike you, I actually enjoy the time I spend in courtrooms. I'm willing to limit the number of cases I take on, but I'm not willing to give up my career entirely.
Todd: You know I'll get arrested again. I always do. That should be enough for you.
Tea: I need to be more than just your attorney.
Todd: You'll be my wife. You'll be Little E's mom. You'll pop out a few of my kids. You won't have time for any of that silly lawyer stuff anymore.
Tea: We shouldn't argue about this here.
Todd: Where do you want to go?
Tea: I want you to understand that I need to work.
Todd: I'll never understand that. Most chicks are looking for a rich guy to sink their claws into so they'll never have to work again.
Tea: I'm not that kind of chick. Can you accept that? Can you accept that I will be working, whether you understand it or not?
Todd: Haven't I always been totally accepting of whatever you wanted?
Tea: No.
Todd: I'm a new man.
Tea: The new and improved Todd Manning?
Todd: Just to make it clear, I'm only giving up my job so I can hang out with the kid. You still have to do all the chick work.
Tea: The same old Todd Manning.
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 123:
[Several days later...
Little Enrique is released from the hospital. Todd and Tea accept Viki's invitation to stay at her house overnight. Starr is also residing at Viki's, since Blair has been unreachable for days.
Todd and Tea retire to their appointed bedroom with the baby early in the evening, partly because of the exhaustion that has been building for both of them during the last few stressful days, and also because Starr's overt hostility at being forced to share the same room with either of them has made the baby's release from the hospital less joyous than either prefers.
Exiting the adjoining bathroom, Tea returns to the bedroom and smiles at the image in front of her. Todd is stretched out on the large bed with his back propped against the headboard and Little Enrique peacefully sleeping against his chest.]
Tea: I wish I had my camera.
Todd: You've taken enough pictures already. You're starting to make the kid paranoid.
Tea: I haven't taken any since he's been out of the hospital, and not nearly enough with his Uncle Todd.
Todd: His favorite uncle.
Tea: By marriage.
Todd: By marriage...by blood...
Tea: You are one of his favorite people.
Todd: Come on, say it.
Tea: You're not his only uncle. I don't want him to feel it's okay to have favorites.
Todd: Why not?
Tea: Because, they're his family, too.
Todd: I'm the one who went through hell with him while he was incarcerated.
Tea: He was in the hospital, not prison. And, I was there, too, remember?
Todd: But, I'm the one who did the needle jabbing.
Tea: I am proud of you. You were very brave.
Todd: Braver than you. Come on, say it!
Tea: Why are you suddenly so competitive?
Todd: This is just me being me.
Tea: This is one thing you don't need to compete for. There's enough love in this family for all of us to share.
Todd: What about Starr?
Tea: Of course she's part of our family.
Todd: Do you still love her?
Tea: I will always love the sweet little girl who captured my heart during our first marriage.
Todd: What about the brat she is now?
Tea: She's not a brat. She's a hurt, confused little girl.
Todd: She's a brat. But, she's my brat, so I have to love her. At least, that's what Viki keeps telling me.
Tea: I know you. I know that, no matter how atrocious your daughter's behavior may be, you will always love her.
Todd: Maybe if she didn't know that, she wouldn't keep acting that way.
Tea: Knowing that she's loved unconditionally is a good thing.
Todd: People always say that but I haven't seen it work out for anyone yet.
Tea: It seems to be working for that little boy in your arms.
Todd: That doesn't count. He's not old enough to use our feelings for him against us yet, but he will.
Tea: I'd like to think we'll raise him better than that.
Todd: Do you think I raised my kid to be a spoiled brat?
[Tea gives him a knowing look.]
Todd: Right! She is part Cramer.
Tea: This isn't all your ex-wife's fault.
Todd: I should have taken Starr with me when I escaped this hellhole. I never should have let those Cramer crazies get their claws into my kid.
Tea: So, where do you think Blair is?
Todd: Why the hell should I care?
Tea: Because your daughter does.
Todd: Starr keeps dropping hints that something big is going on, something that involves Max.
Tea: Do you think they eloped?
Todd: Only if there's money in it for her.
Tea: Starr seems genuinely concerned.
Todd: She's probably finally figuring out that the most important person in Blair's life is Blair.
Tea: She thinks that she's not the most important person in your life, either.
Todd: I've tried to explain our twisted situation to her but I just keep screwing everything up worse, like I always do.
Tea: I don't think our situation is twisted.
Todd: We love each other. You can't get more twisted than that.
[Tea joins her fiancé and nephew on the bed.]
Tea: I, for one, am grateful for our second chance at love.
Todd: Second chance? Did you forget how to count?
Tea: I don't care if it's our millionth chance. I just want it to be the last chance we'll need to finally learn how to sustain a happy, loving relationship.
Todd: Like I said -- twisted.
[Tea ignores him and, careful not to wake Little E, she places her head on Todd's shoulder and closes her eyes, enjoying the brief moment of serenity snuggled up to the two most important men in her life.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 124:
[Several hours later...
An annoying sound awakens Todd and Tea. Tea ends her embrace of Todd, allowing him to roll to his side. He quickly slams his hand down onto a small alarm clock on the table next to the bed.]
Tea: How could it be time already? It feels like I only fell asleep a few seconds ago.
Todd: Go back to sleep. I'll take care of this.
Tea: He's my responsibility, too.
Todd: Not tonight.
[Todd exits the bed. Tea follows and joins him at the side of the crib Little Enrique's sleeping in.]
Todd: I can handle this alone.
Tea: I know you can.
Todd: Then, why'd you get up?
Tea: Because, I want to hold him again just as much as you do.
Todd: I'm just here to do my job.
Tea: It took a long time for me to convince you that he should sleep in the crib, instead of on top of you. I know you want to hold him again. So do I.
Todd: We shouldn't have to wake him up and do this to him every night. This really sucks.
Tea: Maybe he won't wake up.
Todd: Wouldn't you wake up if someone was sticking stuff in you?
Tea: Maybe he'll get used to it. He'll think it's normal.
Todd: I don't care how much it costs, I'm buying him a cure. Don't waste your time trying to lecture me about not spoiling him.
Tea: A cure for his diabetes is one way I would love for you to spoil him. I wish you could write a check right now and make it happen.
Todd: Are you disappointed that I can't?
Tea: Of course not.
Todd: If I had more money...
Tea: You've been more than generous with the amount of money you've already given to research.
Todd: What makes you think I gave money for that?
Tea: I know you. I'll drop the subject now, though, since I know you hate admitting what a generous man you are. Just know that I know and I appreciate everything you've done to help my nephew.
Todd: Our nephew...our kid.
Tea: Are you positive you want to make all of this legal right now? Are you ready for the commitment that marrying me and adopting our nephew would entail?
Todd: You do have a cute tail, Delgado. And, the kid doesn't hate my guts, even when I have to do stuff to him that makes him cry.
Tea: You're keeping him healthy. You need to think of it that way.
Todd: It still sucks.
Tea: I agree, but it is necessary.
Todd: So is this thing we have between us...this family. I need this.
Tea: So do I. So does Little E. We both need you.
Todd: You're sure you're okay with me being his dad?
Tea: Of course I am.
Todd: I already screwed up one kid. I'm counting on you not to let me screw up this one.
Tea: You don't need me to be a wonderful father. You just need to follow your heart.
Todd: You're getting sappy again.
Tea: Knowing how important being a good father is to you makes me sappy.
Todd: Well, cut it out! I need to jab the kid now.
Tea: I think I'll go downstairs and make some hot cocoa. You don't think Viki would mind, do you?
Todd: Not as long as you put everything back where you found it. She's really uptight about that kind of stuff. Trust me on that.
Tea: Would you like some cocoa?
Todd: Real men don't drink cocoa.
Tea: Well, I do. I have a sudden urge. I'll be back in a little while.
Todd: You're actually letting me do this by myself? When did you stop being a control freak?
Tea: I trust you. I know you know how to do this. I know you'll comfort Little E if he gets scared. I know he's in perfect hands.
[Tea kisses Todd on the cheek and leaves the bedroom.
Minutes later...
Tea is carrying a large mug of hot cocoa into Viki's living room, planning to spend a few minutes looking out onto the moonlit patio, before returning to the bedroom she's sharing with Todd and her nephew.
As she enters the darkened room, she's startled to find Starr curled up on one of the sofas, crying.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 125:
[Tea considers backing out of the room and returning upstairs to alert Todd to Starr's distress. Despite knowing that she faces certain rejection, Tea decides to try once more to reach out to her former step-daughter.]
Tea: Starr...
[A startled Starr opens her eyes and quickly sits up, ashamed to have been caught crying.]
Starr: Daddy isn't in here.
Tea: I know. He's upstairs taking care of Little E. I could go up and let him know that you need him.
Starr: I don't need him. I don't need anyone.
Tea: I heard you crying.
Starr: You heard wrong. Babies cry. I'm not a baby.
[Tea moves further into the room and sits on the sofa across from the sofa Starr is sitting on.]
Tea: Grown-ups cry, too, sometimes.
Starr: Daddy doesn't.
Tea: Even daddies cry when they're hurting a lot.
Starr: I bet he cried when that brat upstairs was sick.
Tea: Little E being sick has been very difficult for him. It reminds him of when you were so sick when you were little.
Starr: Did he cry because of me?
Tea: I'm certain he must have.
Starr: Daddy never cried for me. I don't care, because I've never cried for him, either.
Tea: Why were you just crying?
Starr: I wasn't.
Tea: Sweetie...
Starr: Don't call me that.
Tea: I'm sorry. Starr...
Starr: I'm going to bed.
Tea: Talk to your father about what's hurting you. He might be able to help.
Starr: He doesn't care.
Tea: That's not true.
Starr: He wants to be with you and that brat more than he wants to be with me.
Tea: He wants to be with all of us. He wants us to be a family. Do you think we could try?
Starr: Why should I?
Tea: Because it would make your father happy if we could be friends again.
Starr: We were never friends. You only pretended you liked me so daddy would like you.
Tea: That's not true. I loved you.
Starr: When daddy left so did you, only you still lived here. You just didn't want to spend time with me anymore when daddy wasn't around to see it.
Tea: I did want to spend time with you. Things were just too complicated back then.
Starr: If you wanted to see me, you would have.
Tea: I know you were disappointed that we didn't get to see each other anymore. I'm sorry that our not spending time together hurt you. I never wanted that.
Starr: It didn't hurt me. I never see any of my other nannies after they get fired, either.
Tea: I wasn't your nanny. I was your step-mother.
Starr: Mommy says that's the same thing, except daddy paid you more than my other nannies.
[Tea remains silent. She doesn't feel safe responding, her anger at Blair too strong. She wants Starr to know that it was Blair who refused to allow her to have any contact with her. She wants to correct every lie that was told about her. She wants to go back and re-live the time after her second marriage to Todd imploded, as painful as that time was, and fight to maintain her relationship with Starr.]
Starr: I'm going to bed.
Tea: Goodnight, Starr. Sleep well.
[Starr storms out of the room.
In the foyer, she hears the sound of Tea sniffling. She thought her former step-mother's voice sounded weird when she said goodnight to her. Now she wonders if she made Tea cry.
For a moment, Starr feels discomfort thinking that she may have hurt someone she cares about. She quickly reminds herself that she doesn't care about Tea anymore and rushes up the steps.
Upstairs...
Starr notices that the door to the bedroom Todd, Tea and Little E are using is ajar. She hears her father speaking softly and moves closer, wanting to eavesdrop on what he's saying to Little E.]
Todd: I knew you were a tough kid the first time I saw you. You are a guy, after all. There's no way a chick would get over being needled right away like you do. Chicks never let go of anything. Your aunt's still holding it against me that I almost bailed on her at the hospital. Almost doesn't count. Guys get that. Chicks never will. Look at the hell the chicks in my life are putting me through. I'm the one telling the truth, which I know you should never do with a chick, and look what's happening. Starr believes all of Blair's lies and hates my guts and Tea gets upset that I'm even trying to tell the truth. She's the one who taught me what that word meant in the first place. She should want Starr to know that she wanted to keep being one of her moms after I screwed everything up and split town, but Blair was being a selfish bitch and wouldn't let her. The sooner Starr knows about Blair's lies, the sooner the four of us can be a family. If everyone would just do what I tell them to do, everything would be so much easier. But, you know how chicks are. They bitch about doing the right thing, and then when you do, they tell you you're wrong. Chicks!
to be continued...
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2004 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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