Whut up everyone? Anyways, schools started and I have to admit, I kinda like being back. I've felt so unproductive. Even though we moved and we're settled and I hauled butt on finishing that book, I still feel like I should've done more with myself you know? I had registration and I saw some people I haven't seen since we had gotten outta school and it was nice to get hugs from everyone. I took my last regular picture, next year senior pictures...funtimes. I started school and it was okay. I'm partially worried about my ethics teacher because i heard he's not good. I'm contemplating talking to my counselor about it but I dunno yet. My spanish class seems cool. My other teachers are cool too. My US History teacher seems like the kinda man you wouldn't wanna piss off.
My locker location is hilarious. Freshman year I had my locker with Matt on my right side and the next to him was Will. We had World History together and this past year I had spanish with them, Matt in front and Will like one foot from me on my left, life was good. At the end of my first day I headed over to my locker and who has the locker next to me on my right? Matt. I laughed and said "How funny." He was like "You wanna know what's even funnier? Will's on my right." I almost peed my pants laughing. We had spanish honors together (but Will is the opposite of honors so he has tot ransfer out) that day, Will's in my English class, and Matt's in my homeroom, if they were to separate us our last year I'd probably cry.
A lot of people I saw came up to me mentioning how they say the guys or a few of them, or went to a show. My friend Nicole went to the Union Square thing with her older sister and friend. Whenever someone I knows sees them they're like, "hey I saw so and so at krispy kremes...they're really nice" or "hey were the guys in walnut creek on the first of june?" People tend to think that I keep tabs on the guys when I don't. Any whereabouts I know about their location is strictly only when the guys tell me or something. I'm not a stalkerish enough, I'm not interested enough to find out which Albertsons Nick perfers to buy his produce at or which route Matt takes to Oregon everytime he goes.
So, it was Nick and Dom's birthday. My timing as far as calling Nick couldn't have been better. The first time I call, he's talking to his mom on the other line. I called him back like two hours later and he was just about to sit down to dinner. He didn't really seem to care though which was nice...and made me feel less stupid. He told me it was "nice to hear from me." I wasn't sure what to make of that. I rarely call the guys. The last time I called Nick was when I was at the ballpark right after Bonds hit 599 only feet away from our section. I call all the guys for 2 reasons, to wish them luck at an event i'm not at or to wish them a happy birthday. I feel almost guilty calling them because I'm scared I'm taking them away from some official Townsend buisness that has to be taken care of. But the way that Nick said it had the "we never talk anymore" undertone to it. Maybe I should start calling them more or something.
I feel like I've been growing apart from them just emotionally. I think with my bouts of all the things I take care of that I haven't had a chance to catch up with them or something. I feel guilty about it since they have always been this huge part of my life. Everyone says that it's not me and that I haven't but who knows, maybe it really is me.
I was doing some work online and have discovered how painsakingly hard it is to break into this buisness for people who have their luck down on hook ups. I know a girl group who's trying to make it and so far everything that has been done is being done by themselves. Luckily though this guy is helping them out with promotions, first step down, just about 30 more to go. I think that the entertainment buisness in general is like the house i just moved into. Now that my family and I own a house we realize that there's always going to be something to add, update, or clean or something to it and it's amazing. It's turned my mom into a crazed psycopath part of the time and other times its me running around trying to organize things. So anyways it's like a house, I think the guys have learned it already. Matt obviously knows that just because you finish an album, have done a show, and gotten the moves down to the song, you're always going to have another album to workon, another show to rehearse for, and a new single to learn the moves to. When he told me pre-release to their current EP that they were back in the studio working on new beats. It's cute though how all the guys cope with their stardom sometimes. I look at Ryan sometimes and he has this overwhelmed "What's next?" look on his face. Matt's got the show stopper face on him at events and it's cute to look at because you can tell he was made for it. With the twins it's all about that winning smile, you know what i mean, the one that makes your heart melt...yeah that one. Todd has this cute yet bizzare vibe going on. He moves around like he has to pee sometimes when he's actually just really hyped up. Either way he's the coolest...he's Todd...who's cooler than Todd?
Anyways, I do miss them when I'm not where they are. I talk to Mina and she brings back this innocense (in some ways more than others haha) to being a true Townsend fan. Sometimes I overthink the situation that the guys are in and wonder just exactly the guys are going to do with this snapshot in time. I often wonder if their actions has to do with something that's happened to them or something that they're waiting to do. Sometimes I feel helpless in this whirlwind of things. Before I didn't feel this helpless. Back in the day I felt in the position to help them. I had the first Townsend fansite EVER (Which will be back up one day once I gather all my stuff together), helped the guys promote wherever they needed me to, and knew whatever information was needed to answer a question from "What's their favorite color" to "Does Todd have a younger sister?" Now I can't tell you if they're here or there, doing this or doing that, and if you asked me right now to tell you if they had any plans for another tour or single release I'd tell you to refer to Amy of the Streetteam or ask the guys.
I do know however that this is what the guys wanted. I can't even begin to tell you how mad I get when someone thinks that they got this gig handed to them. One of my friends wants me to be his interim manager to get him to a level where he can hire one. He's got a voice off the chains, he's hott, and is the protoge of the likes of Usher, Mario, and JaRule all put together in one guy. I told him I'd refer him to another friend I had to help him out because I was pretty sure I'd go insane trying to work with him and be a manager. There are so many ups and downs to the carreer path that the guys chose and I'm sure that they're mentally and emotionally strong to take it. Sometimes I wonder exactly where the guys are going to end up. Lord knows where they're going to end up, we don't. Everytime I say "Whats up" to one of them there's always a huge list of things to do from dance rehearsal, to vocals, to hair appointments (yes guys have those too...just never talk about them), to another event to think about. It's really turned into NOT whether or not it can work with their schedule, it's whether or not THEY can work with the schedule. Do you think Dom has surgery on his knee when he did because the pain when he danced on stage tickled? No, he danced and performed because he had to. He had the surgery when he got itbecause it was the only section of time that allowed for him to have it, heal and go through intense PT so he can dance and perform in time for the next show. When the guys were in Tracy signing without him, how do you think it made the guys and Dom feel to be short of Dom? It must've sucked, like going on a family trip and your dad not being there or something. The guys don't have time to have a personal agenda, they have time for what management says they have time for.
With all the sacrifices and stuff, I wonder how they stay sane and still have time so sign another autograph or take another picture. I wonder if they ever have one of those days where they want to lock themselves in their homes, not put gel in their hair, and disconnect the phone lines. I bet that if they did we would all go insane. I was talking to this guy who is part of a theater company down in LA, and he was talking to me about how hard everything is. He questioned me if i really wanted to pursue any sort of performing with the stress that it comes with. Personally, after watching the guys, I'm not sure if emotionally I could handle it.
It's like exercise and school put together. The guys spent the first little while stretching, like runners do and running the trails. Through conditioning and building up their skills and endurance, their lung capacity would get bigger and they'd be able to take whatever they had to! And like school, when your teacher throws a pop quiz at you and you don't know what the answer is, do you leave it blank or take your best shot anyways? You take your best shot anyways right? My US History teacher said, "The worst thing you can be is wrong, and that's not too bad." It's true though, if they do this, and they do horrible (knock on wood they don't) then that's fine. They didn't make it. But if they do...well that's awesome and they stepped it up one.
All i hope is that they are able to build up lung capacity and endurance because think about it, in retrospect, they're still between phase 1 and 2, it's not smooth sailing just yet...the waters may have calmed but it doesn't mean that a strong wind won't come through. Who knows what will happen all I can tell you is this, don't think that EVERYTHING is never as easy as it looks, think twice, and do good.
Stay Safe & Stay You
Love Always,
Kristen
Townsendette_Kristen@yahoo.com
xoxoxo