Your Weekly Townsend Fix Column 55

Hey Everyone, So my week's been very traumatic for me. Monday was sad. I'm sure Courtney feels the same way but Monday was the season finale of "Third Watch." Courtney will miss watching Bosco (who in a very strange way reminds me of Dom) and I will miss watching Jimmy (aka Eddie Cibrian who is the hottest man who has ever walked this planet). If any of you were watching it, it may have reminded you of last year's power crisis and the blackouts we had. It reminded me moreso of the Loma Prieta 1989 earthquake. As the episode finished and I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth I felt the 5.2 earthquake centered near Gilroy. Who would've ever thought? Tuesday my computer uneducated mom opened up a forward with an attachment that gave our computer the Trojan Horse Virus. I couldn't log on and my dad had to wait for AOL customer service to help us reset everything. I thought I was going to die without the computer. The first thing that I thought about was this column. Wednesday I was trying to manage my PMS emotional rollercoaster through my biology class. There were some kids behind me laughing (we all sit in large groups by the way) and my friend Nick inducted me into the "Pen 15 club" (which we all knows looks like when handwritten) and I started laughing. For some reason THIS time my teacher turned around and said "Kristen whatever it is, I hope it's funny because this is going to be all on the final exam." For some reason I almost started crying. But I didn't. Instead I broke out in giggles fort he rest of the class. Hormones? Maybe...but I've had a history of some pretty quirky teachers in my science class career. My first science teacher ever threw an eraser at the class. We also had 2 recovering addicts come and talk to us about the abuse of drugs and alcohol. I went in there going "Oh here we go, another suit with stats." Instead they were no older than 26. One was 24, his name was Johnny Rae. He abused everything and he got his life together and is now married with two kids. He's also working on an album and he even sang for us. The other guy Tyrone really had it bad. He relapsed twice and started drinking in 5th grade. Both Johnny and Tyrone told us that alcohol is the gateway to weed, meth, coke, and E. One of them described it as "the gateway to your living hell." I sat there and cried with my friend because we hurt for them. This i can be sure of wasn't PMS. Over the past two years there have been 2 or more accidents because of drunk driving. There have been no fatalities but there will be if people don't stop going to keggers. I cried for the people who were in the accidents, I cried for Johnny, I cried for Tyrone, I cried for my classmates. I have numerous classmates at school who go to "keggers" and drink up a storm. Every single one of them was drinking alcohol in freshman or before freshman year and they've progressed to doing weed now. I ask them once in a while when they started doing weed and they all say that the vodka, beer, tequila, wine, and alcohol just "wasn't enough" and that they "needed more." It's sad to say that a percentage of my class will die, end up in rehab, die of alcohol poisoning, or die due to a narcotic related fight. I'm not saying that these people are bad. Some of them are the nicest people in the world but they're 16 and addicted with a problem they no longer can take control of. They all have a need to smoke and a need for another drink. I walked out of the seminar and heard a junior say, "Yeah man I drink up every weekend, but don't smoke tobacco man, that s**** is bad for you." I could've slapped him. That's like me saying that I won't eat potato chips because of the fat but I splurge on chocolate fudge cake because it's not as bad. The rest of the week will hopefully be normal. This weekend some distant cousin is getting married so I get to hang out with my sister and my older cousins for the whole day being bums while our moms and dads get dressed up. I"m looking forward to a little down time to study for my finals, prep for my drama final production, and get the rest of my ACT application filled out and get it in hopefully on time. I also hope to walk Bay to Breakers with my friend Reina. She's on the track team and I'm on the Couch Potato team so hopefully I'll suck it up and be able to finish. I've been so busy lately and so tired. Not stressed though luckily. My stress level has maintained a extremely nervously low level. Although I end school in a matter of weeks I don't seem to be stressing out...there's a first. My friends have all been keeping my mind off of it. Are you all stressing out for finals? Here's what I discovered really helps...besides sleep. Every night before you go to sleep pamper yourself. Paint your fingernails, your toenails, do your hair in braids at night after you take a shower so you have wavy hair the next day, pick out an outfit for tomorrow, just something that you normally wouldn't do unless you had to or needed to. Do one thing in advance and gradually build it all up. It helps. Next to it all...this is going to sound really wierd to some of you, and in fact it may be something that none of you would expect to hear from me but finding your faith, your religion for a section of your evening really destresses you. I know I know, I'm probably the last person in the world you'd expect to have any sort of belief system but I do. Surprise! I pray every night and meditate before I sleep. Who would've ever thought KRISTEN of all people would have a religion? Yeah me too. But I'm serious when I say that to have order in your life you have to have order through religion first. I go to Catholic school yes but finding a religion I've had since baptism as an infant just last year for the first time in a strong way was something that I would've least expected to destress me. Everyday we worry and every day we have some sort of burden that will cause anything from a little stress to you feeling like your world will come tumbling down at the drop of a hat. Well, guess what, it's human. It doesn't really matter if you have a faith or not, but having something to believe in, whether it's Buddhist, Baptist, Protestant, Judaism, or Christianity, it helps take stress out of you, just trust me on this one. Have you all noticed how all of us in some way or another seem to want to change everything in our past about every day in our life but only think of changing our future about once a week? How come that happens? I don't mean to get all psychological on you and what not but it's true. I admit it, I"m TOTALLY one of those people. Whether it's in the middle of a class or right before I got to sleep something that I regret pops up in my head that makes me want to punch myself in the face. There have been numerous times where I"m about to fall asleep and i remember something that I did, said, or didn't do and regret it. It's amazing how we can let so may things slip through our fingers because we're too afraid to try. I always want to bang my head against the wall because I didn't stick up for myself, I didn't write an application to some place, I didn't re-read something that I should've, I didn't talk to a guy I liked when he was standing all alone, I didn't do something for my family because I "was too busy." What if all of us were like that? What if all of us just let dreams, aspirations, and special moments pass us by because we just didn't? I look at the guys once in a while and go "man look at that." The dream that they had fell into their grasp and instead of letting it slip through their fingers they clutched it, ran with it, and now are living it. A few years ago when I heard from Todd that they were going to be a "boy band." I almost dismissed it. In fact the last person I'd EVER expect to be in a boy band was "Wu-Todd" from the party crew. He was so tough and so someone I wouldn't expect to be closing his eyes to sing a love song. As time progressed he was getting into it. I saw this soft side of Todd. He had so much passion for it all that I wanted to cry. He didn't necessarily "come out of his shell" he just grew and blossomed I guess you could say. Maybe it's because I got to know him, maybe its because he was taking pointers from NSync, who knows, but he did take on a lot of duties and handled it with so much ease. Ryan, White Rye? For me it was easier to believe he was going to be in this boy band gig. The girls practically crawled on him for a hug, a picture, anything that required touching him and making physical contact with him. (Trust me I've seen it.) They nearly tackled people to catch a shirt he once threw off a buss that he wore and signed. (Which I almost caught but some fat dude behind me decided to use his height.) But quiet Ryan? QUIET Ryan? Boyband? Sing? Dancing? For me it wasn't so hard to see him in a band but it was hard for me to swallow the transition. Our emails went from, "Yeah so what's up...." and all this other nonesense email talk that people talk about when they're not becoming famous. They went from that slowly to, "Yah we've been really busy taking photos and........." I was thinking "oh dude they're following through." I was still surprised that a couple of guys I saw at some concerts were going to be the people they handed out tickets for as promotion. Then the emails went to, "Yeah we're working on the new album, it's going to be great, hope you like the first single." What? Single? When did this all happen? Months before that Dominic and Ryan were sitting on my couch talking about "what's starting" when did it actually "start"? Dominic and Nick are probably the most believable of the original 4 to be in a boy band. Heck look at them. They're built, 8% body fat, Italian Stallions and can charm the heck out of girls 2x faster than Brad Pitt topless. (Or maybe just as fast...gotta love Brad.) Twins, how perfect for a boy band right? Not only that the girls loved them when they came on board for Team Pretty Boy. I LOVED them. I pray to God that none of them decide "for old time's sake" to pop in the tape they took from a top the bus at the NSync concert in 2000. And if they do, hopefully they won't recognize a red-haired Kristen with a pair of binoculars drooling with my jaw 10 feet below sea level staring at Nick, Dom, and Ryan topless. (Can you really blame a girl for that though?) Matt, he was made for a boy band. He was born with it all. Including the cutest nose in the world. When David left I figured that they'd stay 4 strong. Even Ryan thought they'd stay four strong. Then Jayden came and he added this spunk to the group. So much spunk that Ryan was a blond, Nick and Dom started wearing leather pants, and Todd started to be a sexy rocker instead of a sexy rapper (who now is both). Then Jayden left and the spunk died down. Ryan was only a cherry-coke-red head (I only know because he corrected me), Nick and Dom wore not leather but interesting jeans, and Todd was a sexy boy next door. Matt came in and had this charm to him that added this life to the guys that I hadn't ever seen before. With David they were like "friends" they were a group of guys that looked like they always hung out. WIth Jayden they looked like a Linkin Park and NSync exploded in a bubble and made a melt in your mouth not in your hands type of music. With Matt they took the form of what you see today. They went through phases, yes. But all with the alliterative motive...being simply this. Being simply what you see, being what makes you smile, what makes you laugh, what touches your heart, what signs autographs, what gets recognized and being what they want to be because they can. Can you imagine what would happen if they let this slip through their fingers? Todd would probably be doing something with Buisness Marketing, Ryan would be pursuing acting, the twins would be in Hillsborough at the end of a firetruck, and Matt would still be in Oregon as the "Top 25 guy." Now Matt's Mr. Celebrity in his hometown but still loved by the original people who always knew he could do it, his family. What have we let slip through our fingers? What have we just dismissed and let go? I sure hope I can stop living in my past once in a while and prepping for the future so I don't make the same mistakes. Stay Safe & Stay You Love Always, Kristen xoxoxo

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