Your Weekly Townsend Fix Column 29

Hey Everyone!

Well, I hope everyone had a great new years and all that. I hope all of us can start this year with a super clean slate....u know for all the bad stuff. This year i have a new years resolution to be more goal oriented and to be a better person...i know one thing at a time. Matt wrote the resolution that i should have...i'm working on that one too.

I keep like erasing what i have because it either doesn't apply anymore, it's old news, or it's just so incredibly stupid sounding now that it's almost embarassing. Seriously, but you know me right? So those GOT RYAN T-shirts. I was talking to Holly, if you're interested we'd start to place an order for it. I know a couple places that can do them but we need a set number before. Raise your hand if you'd like a topless Ryan on you! *Both hands raised* that's exactly what I thought. (You can email Holly & I at RyesPartyCrewClub@y...) haha I'm in one of those modes you know? I think since that it's new years that I want to do everything you know what I mean? I'm extremely motivated to just get out there and do a lot of things. I want to try a bunch of new things this year and improve who I am to benefit others. I highly doubt I'll be the next Mother Theresa but maybe a couple notches below.

So, I had the oppertunity to watch some old tapes. I was watching a really really old video tape from 1995. It was a Boyz II Men Concert for the Disney Channel. Just to fill you in so you're not lost, Boyz II Men is like my reason for boy bands and that particular genre of music. Here's my past list of music idols:
1) The Beach Boys (Heck ya they rocked, when it's summer I'll pop a CD in to the player and bump the beats of...."Kokomo")
2) Boyz II Men (I still love that, if they ever go on tour again I want to go, they are awesome.)
3) Debbie Gibson (For you youngins...think Britney Spears with more innocence.)
4) All-4-One (They rocked, they were the first reason I was ever star struck when I got an email and then a IM from Alfred like a couple years ago.)
5) Backstreet Boys (But after everything...I decided that they shouldn't be idols, rather, musical enjoyment.)
6) NSync (Can I have JC please?)
7) Townsend (DUH, but they're not a phase, they're like the Beach Boys to me but younger...haha I mean that in a good way.) Ok now that you're up to date now, yeah, I was watching the tape and heard all of the classics, "You Know," "Water Runs Dry," "I'll Make Love To You," and "End of The Road." I loved it. My dad thought it was weird that I still loved it so much to see those plaid polos with white shorts and white socks. It hit me, how long will it be till Townsend does their Disney Channel Concert? Think about it, everything's moving so fast, they're finishing up this school tour for QSP and just wow.

I know I've said so many times that this is all moving fast. But wow, look at their support group. Amazing. I sit and just wonder what it's like you know? I mean what it would be like to get up at 6 every morning and perform 2 shows a day. I really give the guys a lot of props for getting up in the morning period. They get up every morning to be in a group, they don't get up to go school, that's too easy. You know how at the beginning of every MTV Diary you hear the superstar go "You think you know but you have no idea."? Well it's true. I don't think we do. Nick thankfully was around to talk to me about it. Maybe, hopefully I can do some sort of interview with him in the future because he has a lot of great things to say, he just doens't have the chance to. The guys are brave. Trust me, and I know that I give them props all the time and that I never have anything bad to say anyways but when I say that they are brave, I mean that more than anything. If I can't do an interview, just ask him next time you see him, or any of the other guys, how glamorous this gig is. They're not staying at 5 Star Hotel every night an get up when they're ready in the morning to go to a stage and sound system all set up at the next show location, they don't know if the show is sold out or if there's a couple people, the don't know if they'll have enough time to talk to everyone, and they don't know if they'll have enough time to go Christmas or Birthday shopping for a family member. Some day they will, but for now it's time and location that matters.

I do know one thing, and I can guarantee you this, every morning, when they wake up, their heart is still there. Let's face it, they're in LA, I saw them at the Great Mall for the first time in like 5 months, it drove me so insane that I hadn't seen them in so long. In fact, honestly, I was nervous, who would I be to them when I got to the front of that line? I hadn't gone to Santa Cruz or anything till the Great Mall, who would I be? There are people that I know that are my friends and go to ALL of them and I haven't been able to make it with my coaching gig and all. Would I be another fan? Would I be Kristen? Would I be a familiar face? So many thing ran through my mind. I got to the table and Todd looked over and said "Kristen! 'Lil Sis!" Ryan said wassup and asked me some questions for small talk. Nick smiled and still called me "K." Todd still got up and gave me a hug even though I told him not to get up and it was ok. Dom still smiled and called me K-Angel. Matt still knew me well enough to tease me...in good nature of course. I was still the same person to them. It was as if no time had passed. I can honestly tell you and from the bottom of my heart that their shows and stage and outfits (well kinda) are the only things that have changed, and maybe Todd's lip color. I give the guys a hard time. I say stuff all the time like "Pretend ya like 'em" or call them "Dorks and Nerds" but the way friends do. I can still do that, the day that one of them doesn't laugh or tease me back, that's when I have to start worrying. The day that they don't hug me and stick out their hand for a handshake, that's when I'll worry. The day that they look at me as if they'd seen me somewhere and think my name's "Christie or something" that's when I'll worry. I don't need to worry. So many times though, I feel like that I'm missing them and they're not missing home as much. But I'm also such a worrier. I'll be the mom to sit in the car halfway across the freeway and make a U-Turn because I don't remember if I turned off the stove. (Which by the way, you should ALWAYS check for before leaving the house...sincerely, Kristen a/k/a Smokey the Bear.) The more I think about it, the more I sit and dwell on it (which I can be extremely good at if I have extra time on my hands) I realize that the guys can only change if they want to. And trust me, I honestly don't think that the guys want to change a single thing about them except maybe their hair color.

As I sat at home eating BBQ Chicken from Pollo Supremo and philipino pansit from Pacific Market, MTV Cribs popped on today. Has anyone seen the one with Redman? They had that player from the Titans on the same episode. Let's compare notes. Player...i forgot his name, can the guys reading this help me out? The one with the foot injury (great detail I know). Ok the player had like a red leather couch, 2 levels of house, a customized bathroom because it "looks cool," and a minimum of 4 flat screens. Redman, humble neighborhood on Staten Island, 2 levels of HOME, not house, and it was they way HE wanted it to be, not the way some interior designer wanted it to be. Hey, I'm not downing Interior designers, it might be something I want to take up if this whole acting gig doesn't pan out right. But Redman is like Townsend. I know I know...not a really crystal clear thing but think about it. He's living in a house that's his own, he isn't changing because of the media, heck the man didn't even clean his house or even his cousin off the floor. He didn't care if there was a broken doorbell, he didn't care if you didn't like his gift filing system. He said something like, "I know you may not like it because it's a mess but I know where everything is."

How great of a metaphor is that? I don't think he realized it but that's the way I live my life. I haven't seen my bedroom floor in days, maybe Matt can clean it up or something since from what I understand he doesn't like a mess, if he saw my room, he wouldn't like me lol. But Townsend can be that quote, the world's not perfect okay? Let me tell you all that it's a fact of life that not EVERYONE is going to like you. Throughout the course of your life you will have major demons, inside and outside of you to deal with. You WILL have enemies. If you clear the air with them and everything is great, good for you. I'm happy for you. But ok, so if that's a fact of life, Townsend runs there too, they're human too, heck they're really human. But they know who they are. As much as any of us other humans would beg to differ, they' know who they are because of a couple reasons, they know how to keep in check, their heads and hearts are in the right places, and they know that I'll beat them up if they ever decide to plan to pack the bags for an ego trip. Ok so maybe I won't beat them up, but I'd bring it up with them fo realz...haha. So even though at one point or another, their situations may be a mess, beneath the mess, things are still the same and they know it. If I could only tell you how strongly I feel about the guys, I would have to write a book. I'm probably the worst candidate for a teen novel, the novel would be about Townsend, my classes, and drama. And on top of that I don't write like a novelist so there, guess I can't explain it to you. When I have those "intuitions" a lot of times, they don't go away till I act on them. I can't really act on feeling so strongly about the guys, that's hard. But I can write and tell you, you'll have to take my word for it that the guys are the guys. Let's face it, they're not Wu-Todd, White Rye, The Tarzan Twins, and that hott small town Oregon boy who was a making the finalist on Making the Band, they're a cohesive group of guys who know exactly what they want and what they can do, they surprise themselves just as much as they surprise you. What they don't know that we think, they need to know, they're human, and just like any other human there has to be things that they sit and wonder about.

That's it for now, I'm done I think. Good luck for everyone who's going back to school! And for those of you who aren't goin back just yet...relax and soak up the extra hours of sleep for me. I have a special poem for some special friends....this one is for Amy, Katie, Kaitlyn, Drea, Courtney, Joy, Tamara, and anyone else who knows poetry.

"A Two-Pair"
please don't ever forget me
understand that i never want to be alone
pray that we will never be separated and remember we belong together
put it all in crystal clear notes.
in my mind i'm in between winning and losing
everything you say is special
so don't ever leave one without the other.

inventive thinking always helps the mind
never waste a mind

heaven is a place to work for
i personally hope there's a place for me saved at a cool table.
so don't let me down and leave

forever will i support being in between
always remember who you are
caring is sharing...
everything can change in the blink of an eye.

Stay Safe & Stay You
Love Always,
Kristen
xoxoxo

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