Your Weekly Townsend Fix Column 9

I've had a really long week. I need me a Ryan fix or a Todd fix...I need a Townsender fix. School was so exciting the first 20 minutes and now I'm tired. I'm ready for summer, will someone PLEASE like speed up rotation of the earth or something? Summer has all the best stuff anyways, for example, you start off summer with Ryan's birthday and end it with the twins'! And the day of my twins birthday marks exactly 4 months till my birthday! (Dec. 23) Right now I'm not worring about the sundress I'll wear tomorrow it's probably who I'm going to have as a date to the first dance of the school year. I seriously need to start thinking about dating. Really people, going out with a guy friend is WIERD beyond belief because I keep thinking I'm sitting next to him in Bio or something, going on a blind date? Well a lot of times going on a blind date makes me wish I was actually blind...I think that's the point of it. Can someone just hook me up with a guy that I kinda know and kinda don't? I don't think I know any guys like that....ok how about someone just clone a Townsender?

Well as far as Townsenders go 3 of them we there when God thought it would be funny to humiliate myself at Gina's play ANYWAYS. You can ask Joy, Courtney, Amber, Andrea, Katie, or Nick...all witnesses to me running after my dad and Melanie who left me out the door. No I wasn't running in my Adidas training shoes...try 3 1/2 inch black strappy heels. Well now we've estabilished that it IS possible to run but not gracefully in those.

So, Melanie's school started. The news that I knew "OMG MATT YOAKUM" networked rather fast through the volleyball team and through Melanie's class. She takes after me in plastering Townsend on her things @ St. Brigid's. Man I remember those days, if I only knew Townsend back then it would give me names to scribble in the back of my notebooks. It's cute, Melanie's on the volleyball team in 7th grade and cheerleading squad. Her volleyball team has adopted me as this big sister figure since I went to school there and will ask me about Ryan and Todd (their favorite Townsenders) and when I see people off the cheerleading squad I'm asked about Matt and the twins. I'm converting St. Brigid's away from NSync and Backstreet...slowly but surely they're a Townsend supporting school. So, I've recieved a couple "Embarassing Ryan Moments" in the email after people read about my embarassing Ryan moment downtown. Most asked me to keep it private and not to share it with you but one thing all of them asked me to do was to tell you more of my embarassing moments involving Ryan and the guys. Hmmm do you REALLY want me to say some of them? I mean seriously, what if one of the guys come in here and read this? I'm permanently screwed if you think about it. Eh, oh well....welcome to my life readers...

This one time at band camp...haha just kidding! Ok seriously, I don't know if the guys are going to remember this but I do know a lot of my friends will that were with me at all of these times.

At the 98 Degrees concert back in May I was hanging out with one of my friends and my parents had walked to their seats with Mel. I had my pager on vibrate because in school you're not allowed to have pagers, I just carry mine with me 24-7. I was REALLY wired and I mean REALLY wired. It was to the point where even my dad said that he would NEVER get me Starbucks on an empty stomach as long as he walked the face of this here planet. I was like doing this line dance thing that I had learned at the Mother-Daughter evening @ my high school. All of a sudden my pager went off in the middle of my Alemaney Left and I just jumped and shouted "BOOTY CALL!" (Of course I was just kidding.) I was like totally acting out (since I DID plan to do Drama this year) and going with acting out required acting like a complete fool. My friend and her friend along with myself were just laughing and I looked up and Ryan was kinda looking at me with this half "OMG look" and half "What the heck? look" I was like "No! Not a booty call for you....I mean....not a booty call...I mean...man sorry!" We both pretended I had said nothing.

I know it's not half as bad as a lot of things but there are some embarassing moments I don't want to relive because I'm almost positive one or more of the guys will remember it and I prefer not to take my chances. But then there's stories that didn't even have the guys there...but I didn't know that. One time I was shopping, I separated from my mom because I had to go buy a birthday card. I told her I'd meet her in the food court. I went and bought my card and walking towards the food court I saw two guys dressed similar and a tall blond guy that looked like Matt. Instant reaction? Running up behind the guy that looked like Matt. I kinda tapped his butt jokingly and ran past him and slowed down, I turned around laughing to a guy that WASN'T Matt and 2 guys that dressed similar but were DEFINIETLY not the twins. Embarassed I said "OMG, I'm so sorry!" and beelined for the OPPOSITE direction that they were walking. I think I see Townend all the time. I think I'm TD (Townsend Dillusional). Another time I was at Stonestown and just burst out "HEY TODD!" across the top level to a guy standing across the way. He turned around, yup, wasn't Todd. But I did a pretty good job convincing an entire west wing of the mall that it WAS Todd because they seemed to have turned around rather quickly.

I've come up with a couple good ways to have a risk and embarassment free encounter with the person....
1) Wait to see if the guy walks or dresses like a Townsender.
2) Don't look at their butts, try their faces.
3) Refrain from any verbal contact until confirmation it's a Townsender.
4) Before any confirmation KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.
5) DO NOT speed up, you will only look stupid.
6) If you do speed up and it's not one of the guys run right past them and find a random kid and go "Little bro! I thought I lost you for a second! Don't ever do that again to me!"
7) If you walk up to the person to the point where they KNOW you're going to them and you figure it out too late, just say, "Hey, you look like a guy who would have a watch, do you know what time it is?"
8) DO NOT sing "Tonight Is For You" as you walk to them at the top of your lungs, it will only scare them, maybe even if it is a Townsender.
9) STAND STILL if they're walking your direction and pretend you're tying your shoe or fixing some article of clothing.
10) DO NOT jump up and down gleefully, clapping your hands together and saying, "OMG TOWNSEND OMG TOWNSEND!!!!"

How the heck did I come up with these rules? I learned them the hard way. Don't laugh, it's embarassing to me, Ok laugh...I know you can't stand it anymore. Basically, I'm past the whole "I'm-Scared-To-Embarass-Myself" phase...it's more like I'm permanently stuck in the "I-Embarass-Myself" phase. Ok that's it for THIS column but I think I may submit 2 consecutive columns in a row or one before the Labor Day weekend is up...starting Tuesday I go back to coaching (I was off this week) and Wednesday I coach, Thursday I train (and I can't even walk after stretch-training for my hamstrings), and Fridays I normally visit my Grammy Bear and have dinner with her. So PE@C...! Take care, stay safe & stay you!

Love Always,
Kristen

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