Your Weekly Townsend Fix Column 5

SPECIAL "TOWNSEND EFFECT COLUMN"
(I was inspired to write this after I read what Joy had written...haha love ya gurl.)

Well, since Joy brought it to my attention and a lot of other people's attentions about the "school girl crush effect," I think I should write about the effects that I suffer from around them and maybe some of you will feel me on them....

1) The School Girl Crush Effect: This effect has happened around Ryan with me. (See latest column of "Your Weekly Townsend Fix" Part 2 avaliable at http://cruzin.to/ryantorres).

2) The Wow Effect: This effect causes your jaw to drop 50 feet below sea level. If you're walking you stop to look, if you're sitting you move over to get a better look. I've suffered this effect around Matt. At the 98 Degrees concert I saw him from behind, the original cause of the jaw drop was his height, when he turned around I was pretty sure that my jaw was stuck like that.

3) The Gum Effect: This effect is something I suffered from June 10th at the NSync concert while eating a KFC chicken wing at a tailgate party. No it wasn't because of the scientifically enhanced chicken (have you all heard about that?) but it was because I happened to notice two guys that looked "like brothers" on top of the WiLD 94.9 bus. When I realized they were twins (thanks to a handy pair of binoculars) I the gum effect was hearing the jingle for "Double Mint Gum." You know what I"m talking about...the kind that Joy used for another purpose...AHEM...

4) The Gaze and Daze Effect: This is when the guys are talking to you and you completely DO NOT hear a word they're saying. You're too stuck on starting at them and looking deep enough in their eyes to see the other side of their head. It's probably because all 5 of them have the most gorgeous eyes God has ever made but it also causes that stupid "Huh?" to fall out of your mouth after they look at you for a response and you snap back into reality.

5) The Stupid Giggle Effect: This can happen A LOT. For example, maybe, let's just use Dominic (since I talked to him yesterday and I'm in a Dom mode), maybe Dominic says something corny-funny, like it's funny but laughing at it would just justify the fact that you're easily amused. But it's not like we remember these things when they happen so when Dominic does say something that's corny-funny you laugh or giggle and people look at you. I know it's happened to me but then again I'm a self-proclaimed DORK, so it's not going to matter is it?

6) The Guy Mode Effect: This can happen at ANY given moment. You could be in the car or lying on the couch it can happen in a crowded elevator. This is when you see someone that looks like a Townsender, smells like a Townsender, acts like a Townsender, or has any remote quality of a Townsender. IE: You see a guy with blue wrap sun glasses wearing a Seattle baseball cap...you think Todd right? This throws you into a mode where everything there after seeing the guy in the glasses and cap reminds you of Todd. A guy with blond spiky hair, a guy wearing a Osirus T-Shirt, a guy wearing Jeans...."JUST LIKE TODD HAS." 7) The Random Effect: Again, can happen any time, you can be eating potato chips and then just shout out "NICK!" at your little cousin...who's name is actually Cameron....(I've never done it before but maybe someone else has...*wink wink*)

8) The Dominiant Converstationist Effect: When you're at a BORING adult get together you have plenty of time to think of ways to make the conversation about stocks and bonds turn interesting. So you, being the converstionist that you are bring up Townsend at a short scilence by the original person talking to drink their water. For example you can say, "I love these candles, they're very tall, kinda like Matt." When someone goe "Matt?" You take the oppertunity to talk about Matt and his tallness and then go on to who Townsend is.

9) The Past Memory Squeal Effect: We could also call this the "Squeal Effect." This happens when you realize who Townsend is exactly is and the last time you saw them. Then that leads to a memory of that last time. Try this on for size, I have this effect whenever I remember the Airshow. While I still have in my mind that I was there because of my Grampa, I also looked at the silver lining next to my bawling like a baby-effect(...a completely personal effect which I will not include here). Anyways re-watching the video I see the guys holding my hand and Ryan getting down on one knee, Dom on both, good lord, I can't help but squeal. For more than just the reason of the way it was but remembering the same feeling going through me and things going through my head. I mean it makes you feel stupid-good you know?

10) The Dork Effect: Now, I know this is something NON of us will admit to but like I"ve said before, I"m going to be honest with you, I HAVE and still do suffer from the occasional Dork Effect. You know when you're not caught in the Gaze and Daze Effect you actually ARE listening to them. And when they ask you something you blurt out the dumbest answer in the world. For example if Matt says something like, "Hey ladies, how are we today?" (Which he has said before.) You might say something like "Rad" or "Cool Beans" "Neato Burrito" "Coolio" (Even though we use it online it sounds weirder when you actually say it huh?) or something close to one of those. OR maybe the Twins will just say something and you giggle and respond with a "I don't know" because you've lost train of thought even though the question might've been, "Do you like to breathe?" That my friends, is the "Dork Effect."

11) The Speechless Effect: This effect maybe one of the most common. When the guys do or say something it naturally is the most sexiest thing in the world. Like the way Ryan walks or the way Dominic eats candy or the way that Todd laughs. But anyways the world can be screaming your name and you don't answer because you're in such a state of paying attention to what the guys do (and self-entertained) that you don't care and can't get words out period. Like I've suffered from this, after conducting an interview with Dom and Ryan, my mom asked me if I was ready to go downstairs to my grandmother's apartment for my younger cousin's birthday dinner. I was in such a state that I couldn't even answer her.

So there are plenty more Townsend Effects that I could name but this should be enough for now haha...OK I'm done...

Love Always,
Kristen

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