Insider Column Hand Stories

And now for something a little different...


February 17, 2002

A few weeks ago, T Rex cut his hand rather badly, requiring seven stitches. Rather than own up to how he actually did it, he invited the fans to participate in a contest... to write a story about how he hurt his hand. The stories are supposed to include the Townsend guys. Pam and Kris of the Dream Team have agreed to act as judges. The prizes are - hmm, well only T Rex knows that and he will reveal all in time, I'm sure. Posted below are all of the stories received so far. These are really fun. I wonder if T Rex will ever tell what REALLY happened (which believe me is not nearly as interesting as these stories). Enjoy. And may the best stories win!!!! - Mrs. T Rex





Jenna & Michelle: Plip. Plip. Plip. "Ahh!" yelped Bob. A friendly game of pumpkin seed tag with the Townsend gang turned into a fierce, excruciating battle. It was five against one and T-Rex was running out of ammo. His opponents still had thirty bags of the weird smelling pellets and he was down to one. "Watch out!" yelled Todd while laughing. "Don't run over the snail." Bob was no expert when it came to playing pumpkin seed tag on rollerblades. He swerved in time to miss the snail, but it was not good enough. T-Rex started choking on a rubarb flavored altoid. As he was coughing up his lungs, he realized that he was about to ruin his macho image by running into an ice cream truck. BOOM! Bob was sprawled out on the ground in a position that any normal person would think virtually impossible. He was standing after numerous attempts of moving tediously. To make things worse, Ryan pogo-sticked over while flinging seeds. Next thing Bob knew, he was barreling down a hill and rolled into a haunt! ed house.While trying to regain his composure, Bob grabbed a friendly looking scarecrow. Stupid move. T-Rex grasped the hand that held a dagger! "OOOOWWWEEE!" was heard throughout every country between China and America. Frankenstein picked up the bleeding Bob and brought him to the nearest doctor, which happened to be a vet that specialized in the care of ducks. Suddenly, Bob hears Townsend's new song "Pour Some Sugar On Me," and suddenly realizes that he was awoken from a horrible nightmare by a great song playing on his clock radio. Bob remembers that he cut his hand the night before while trying to cut a bagel.




Jen

Bob’s Story: How This Amazing Man Stabbed His Hand


San Francisco started a contest of an all men cook off contest. Nick Restani, a member of the amazing group Townsend, saw it in the San Francisco Chronicle. Once he brought it on to the table where Todd, Matt, Rye, and Dom were eating to look at, he noticed the announcement of the contest and that the grand prize wins a free trip for 2 to Hawaii, while everyone else gets a complimentary dinner for 2 from Wolfgang Puck (chef to the stars), at the Grand Hyatt in Union Square, San Francisco.

Nick: "Oh my goodness!" Nick exclaimed. "I think I could win this contest! I could certainly use a complimentary trip to Hawaii."

Dom: Hey, I’ll do it too!!!!

Matt: You know what? Why don’t we all join in? It may be good for our publicity. Just think of it, "Townsend, very new Male Vocal Group that could Sing, Dance, and even Cook!"

Rye: Man that would be off the hook!!!!

Todd: I’m down to do this cooking contest. Maybe I could get my dad in it too.

All the other guys: That’s a great idea. Bob being in this cooking contest with us.

Todd: I’ll tell him when I go home.

(Todd goes home to see his dad)

Todd: Hey dad! Nick saw this contest in the newspaper for all men to be apart of. All of us guys are joining. How about you dad?

Bob (Todd’s Dad): Nahhhh, I don’t want to spend a lot of time in the kitchen unless it only concerns eating.

Todd: Oh c’mon dad. It’ll be fun. All we have to do is bring to the judges at Golden Gate Park a nicely cooked entrée. That’s it. Grand prize gets a
Free trip for two to Hawaii.

Bob: A trip for 2 to Hawaii?????????? That’s just what Wendy and I need. Sure, I’m in.

Todd: All right Dad!!!!!

(The morning of the contest, everyone works extremely hard on their entrees. Nick cooked a Fettuccine Alfredo topped with grilled chicken. Dom cooked BBQ’d baby back ribs. Rye cooked a delicious Filet Mignon. Todd cooked stir-fried salmon pieces, along with vegetables. Matt cooked roasted duck. Bob on the other hand, still had a hard time cutting the very tough frozen meat for his Salisbury Steak Slices. Bob currently is in the kitchen working on his entrée)

Bob: Gosh darn it!!!! This meat is so tough. How can you get this knife through the wretched thing? I guess I’ll keep trying. (Suddenly the phone rings, Bob looks at the phone, but still kept trying to cut his meat, and little did he know cutting the meat after it’s cooked would be more easier. So just by looking at the phone Bob paid no attention to what he’s cutting with his knife. Then suddenly…)

Bob: OUCH!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! OUCH!!!!

(Wendy, Bob’s wife comes running into the kitchen)

Wendy: What’s the matter my dear?

Bob: Oh my goodness, I accidentally sliced my hand with the knife instead of the meat.

Wendy: Goodness dear. You could cut the meat after it’s cooked. Why do you need to cook anyway?

Bob: Well, there’s this all-male cooking contest in the city. First prize wins a trip for two to Hawaii. I want to win that for the both of us.

Wendy: Awww, you’re the sweetest husband ever. You know what? I don’t think you can cook with a sliced hand. Let me do all the cooking. You just bring it to the judges.

Bob: Thanks sweetie! You’re the greatest!

(Everyone heads to Golden Gate Park for judging. Bob comes in with a wounded hand. The judges come around and started tasting the guys’ entrees. Dom’s barbecue was really good but not original. So he got the complimentary dinner. Rye’s Filet Mignon tasted almost like the ones that are served at the House of Prime Rib, but the judges believed he did it on his own. So the judges gave him only the complimentary dinner as well. Matt and Todd’s entrees were great but not good enough for the trip to Hawaii. Nick’s entrée however, wowed the judges. He could have almost won the Hawaii trip till they saw Bob’s wounded hand)

Judges: Sir, did you accidentally stab your hand just to go through this contest?

Bob: Yes, I did, and my wife filled in for me. I’m sorry; I guess I’m Disqualified right?

Judges: On the contrary, any man who would hurt himself just to win a trip for 2 to Hawaii for his wife deserves the victory. We’re giving you the complimentary vacation in paradise.

Bob: Wait, you guys didn’t even taste mine yet. And you guys already said that Nick’s was the best.

Nick: It’s okay Bob. You deserve that trip with Wendy. I’ll just take my friend Jen with me to the complimentary dinner.

Bob: Thanks Nick! By the way, who’s going to take whom to the complimentary dinner? Nick, you already told me whom you’re taking. How bout the rest of you guys?

Dom: Well, I would love to go with that sweetie Kaitlyn from the Dream Team.

Todd: Well, I’m planning to take my lil sis Kris (Kristen).

Rye: I have always wanted to take Courtney out in a long time.

Matt: I’ve been longing to hang out with my "AMBER waves of grain."

Bob: Cool, we all have dates then!!!

(A week passes. The guys take their girls to their complimentary dinner, while Bob and Wendy start enjoying their trip to Hawaii)

Matt: Hey Amber, don’t you think the food here is great? I mean, it’s better than fast food right?

Amber: Oh my goodness, I love this food. This food is awesome.

Rye: So, my dear sweet Courtney, are you enjoying your evening?

Courtney: Yes I am Rye. I’m enjoying my evening because I’m with you.

Dom: I’m so glad that I got to hang out with you tonight Kaitlyn. Only, something is missing. Oh I got it! Waiter!!!! Would you please get this sweet lady and myself a chocolate milkshake with two straws?

Kaitlyn: I’m so flattered Dom. I couldn’t believe I’m with you here tonight. It’s like a Valentine’s Day wish come true!

Todd: So little sis, how would you like some pasta on your hair? (puts some on Kristen’s hair)

Kristen: Oh that’s awesome. I’ve always wanted to see what blonde hair would look like on me. But how about if you have some marinara sauce down your pants? (Kristen spills some inside Todd’s pants and the both of them get into a huge food fight)

Nick: I’m so glad that I’m here with you tonight Jen. It’s always nice to have your company.

Jen: Oh thank you Nick. It’s always nice to have your company also.

(Meanwhile in Hawaii)

Bob: I couldn’t believe you went through for me honey. I never thought that you would finish my entrée for me.

Wendy: Well, I acted out of love. You acted out of love for me to cook an entrée to enter into the contest so that you could win me a trip to Hawaii. Once you stabbed your hand, I wanted to make sure you completed your mission. Plus, I didn’t want you to cook anymore for me. I really don’t want you to stab your hand again. You love me so much that you’d do anything to win a vacation for me. I love you so much that I’d take care of anything that you would need me to finish up. I mean, you stabbed your hand in the process for me. I would do the same for you too.

Bob: Aww sweetie, I love you!

Wendy: I love you too Bob!

THE END







Anonymous-


One day T Rex was busy answering Townsend fan emails. After 3 hours and halfway through, he heard a knock. He wasn't expecting visitors, who could that be? Todd had been home last weekend to have his mom do his laundry and had called just two days ago to have money wired to his account. T Rex opened his door and saw a group of 5 five seven-year olds at his doorstep. At first he was confused, then the girls peered into the house and questioned him,


"Are the guys here?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said T Rex, trying to keep the little anonymity he had left.
"LIAR!" shouted the girls as they stormed past T Rex, knocking him over, and ran into the house.

The girls searched the house high and low, leaving no pillow unturned, no door unopened. Finally they came to the final door, Todd's room. They opened the door and a heavenly light poured out. No, wait. That was the desk lamp Todd had left on last time he was home, reflecting off some tin foil on the floor that had previously held a sandwich. The girls cautiously stepped into the room, sidestepping mountains of clothing piles. The girls checked all through the room for signs of Townsend, with none to be found anywhere.


Meanwhile, T Rex was just coming to, where the girls had knocked him out on the floor when they rushed in.


"Please don't let them have gone in Todd's room," he mumbled groggily to himself, picking himself off the floor.He saw the disarray the girls had left the house in. T Rex smiled to himself and thought, "It's almost like Todd's home." He hurried off to Todd's room to see if the girls had dared to venture there. "If they are in there, let’s just hope they don't..'

The girls were ready to give up hope when one of the girls spotted a doorway behind the open door they had entered through.
"Look guys, it must be a closet. I bet they're hiding in there!"

"...go in the closet!' T Rex finished saying, just as he reached Todd's room and saw the girls going towards the closet door.
"NO! DON'T!" he yelled.

The girls turned towards him, alarmed. Being that he might spoil their plans to see Townsend, the girls hurried to shut the room door. T Rex lunged through just before the door shut. Breaking his fall was one of the piles of clothing. The girls didn't want him to spoil their fun, so they opened the closet door and stepped back, hoping to see their dream guys.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!' shouted T Rex and jumped up as quick as he could, though things seemed to be moving in slow motion. A vicious creature lunged out of the strangely dark closet. The creature had a collar hanging around its neck, which read "Wu-Todd." It was one of the Dream Team kittens! Wu-Todd flew through the air, still in slow motion, straight towards the young girls, who had grouped together and were screaming in fear. Just before "Wu-Todd" could attack the girls T Rex jumped in front of them and stopped the kitten. In the process of protecting the girls, Wu-Todd's razor sharp claws dug into T Rex's hand. Wounded, but still courageous, T Rex used all his might to get Wu-Todd under control and back into the closet, where the world would once again be safe.

The girls were relieved to have been saved, but disappointed to have not seen Townsend. As T Rex sat on the only portion of Todd's bed that could be seen, wrapping his hand in a towel that had been on the floor since 1989, the girls looked at each other. They had pushed themselves into this man's house to track down 5 guys they had already planned out exact details of a marriage to and it had ended in T Rex being wounded in order to save them. They realized the situation they were in and knew what they had to do. Each of the girls got up, grabbed various items of Todd's from around the room, and ran out.

THE END



Vanessa-

One Day Bob was at home making some red jello when the phone rang. Wendy got up- and answered it. It was Todd. He said, " me and the boys are coming over for dinner tonight alrighty?" and Wendy said "sure". Then Wendy started looking for some pepper to put in her chicken when she found out she had none left she told bob to cut the potatoes while she went to the store to buy some more pepper. So bob started cutting the potatoes when he cut himself! :( He looked around for some napkins. But he couldn’t find any so he decided just to soak his hand in the red jello! About 15 minutes later Wendy came back with the pepper and she finished up her cooking then the doorbell rang so Wendy went to answer it and it was Todd, Matt, Ryan, Nick, and Dom! They went right to the kitchen table to start eating! they ate up all the peppered chicken. It was time for desert! some nice red jello!

Bob and Wendy decided that they weren’t hungry so the guys helped them selves. Matt then said "this is pretty good what is your special ingredient?". Bob didn’t answer his question. Ryan then said "Matt it is Blood homie we had it last night!". Then Todd said, "yeah I told you my dad can make good stuff!" Dom and Nick then said together, "THIS IS GREAT!" Bob looked at them like they were crazy. Then Bob looked away and Ryan went up to him and drank his blood! Wendy jumped up and screamed. She called 911 and by the time the police were at Bob's house Matt, Todd, Ryan, Nick, and Dom were gone. They were never seen again until!!!!!!!.......To be continued!!



Sheerin-

Bob was in class! it just happened to be that he was in geometry... well Teacher Rye Torres told everyone to get our their compasses and protractors! so Bob and his partner, Nick Restani, got it out to obey by the teachers rules. Everyone had forgotten their compasses and protractors except for Bob, Nick, and their dorky friend Matt Yoakum! everyone was so mad! so everyone got in trouble and were sent outside except them and this new foreign exchange student, Todd Dolci from Italy, who had brought the teacher Rye a basket of strawberries so Todd was excused from him beatings! (lol not really) Bob had been playing with his compass the whole time and happened to cut his finger while making the perpendicular bisector of the T in the Townsend Dream Team sign!







Holly-
"Turn the Volume Down!"
As the day swept slowly into the horizon, Todd's father, T-Rex felt fatigued by his tiresome day at NASA. After he walked through his door of a house painted into mellow blue. The guys - Ryan, Matt, Dom, Nick, his own son Todd, and wife Wendy - were sitting on a long couch, gathered together to watch a performance they did in the previous week. The volume of the concert was extremely loud, pierced the ears of all from the high pitch females ready to die for these talented and hot young men. T-Rex couldn't stand this act of euphoria since he was extremely tired that he shouted "Turn it down, I need to rest!" yet it was too loud for anyone to respond. After a few moments, he raced toward the TV, but he tripped over a box of Townsend posters and fell in front of the guys. The table was right next to where he fell, it was covered with snacks - which now covered his whole body - had also the impact to knock over a knife that gashed a wound up! on his forefinger. He stood up slowly looking at the cut, it bleed quickly over his hand. The five guys aided him, Wendy got the telephone and called the hospital, and forever he knew not to have the volume to that extent again.



Lauren-


It was a stormy day and the boys were feeling low but they still had a show to do. Bob was also feeling a little weird that day. He had a bad feeling the boys were in danger. Meanwhile, back at home a girl was pacing around her room with a sparkle in her eye. She spent the last two months feeding and training her alligator to capture and eat the boys of Townsend if he had to. If she couldn't have them, no one could. It was 2:00 and the boys finally showed up at the Jr. High. They got a little worried when they spotted Bob sharpening his "mondo Macho" knife. They asked him about it and he replied, "you know how teenage girls can be!" It was show time. Bob snuck around the corner and to the front of the audience. It was up to him to protect the boys. The girl and her alligator snuck in the back door and hid in a corner as close to the boys as she could get. The show was going great. The boys were amazing the crowed as usual. Suddenly Bob spotted the girl out of the corner of his eye. He lunged towards her and as she ran the alligator made his way towards the stage. Bob jumped on the beast and wrestled it to the ground. Bob didn't need his knife. He used his mondo strength to save the boys. Well the alligator was gone and Bob was left to get seven stitches on his hand. Bob had again saved the day!!!




Lauren
It was a beautiful summer day and Bob and Wendi were preparing a BBQ for the boys. It was just about time for the boys to show up so they made their way to the front door. When they got closer to the door they could hear screaming out front. To their amazement they found seven girls out front screaming and pulling at hair, "He's mine!" "That's what you think!" "Oh please!" Suddenly the boys showed up. As they stepped out of the car the girls darted towards them, pushing and shoving. Bob bolted across the grass and in front of the boys. The girls didn't care. They would go through him if they had to. The girls reached him and seconds later he had a handful of hair and the girls were running down the street! Bob had saved the day again.




Stella-


The day was a weekday, but not just any weekday, it's a weekday that will go on in history, it was a TREX weekday, that's rite a TREX weekday.

. . it all started one morning when trex, our hero, decided to take a leisurely walk to get his mind off rye and his sty in his eye. Being the helpful man he always is, he couldn't decide how to get rid of it and quick. For if he didn't, the future for Townsend looked rather bleak. After his 10-mile walk home, he couldn't get Ryan's health out of his mind. He decided to call Stella because she too had a sty in her eye. .
ring ring
hello
hello is this stella
yes this is she
stella this is trex how do you get rid of a sty?
suddenly the phone went static. OMG what is Trex to do? He does everything he can think of. He racks through his brain over and over again. AH HAH! he suddenly remembers being told an unusual story that involves a sty owner inventing a sty away solution. The recipe comes from far away Columbia, where the wild clams multiply. They're deadly but he would do it. Packing his bag with lunch, a Swiss army knife, and a cell phone, he prepared to leave Wendy. Upon seeing the wild clams, he couldn't help but think twice. . was Ryan really worth it? of COURSE he was worth it, he eventually decided. He prepared his Swiss army knife and got to work. The deadly clam juice squirted all over him and stung, stung poisonously. Ignoring the unbearable pain, he finally managed to cut open the clam but to his utter dismay, nothing was there except a filthy piece of paper. A wrinkled, brown, slimy piece of paper answered his cry for help. He picked it up, frustrated and in pain, not expecting to find anything. He opened it up. . OH JEEZ!!! It’s more than he could have asked for!! it was unbearable!!! TREX GOT A PAPER CUT!!! That’s right!! a PAPER CUT!!! and that was when our brave hero decided to go back home and be nursed back to a decent condition. As for Rye, well he never did have a sty in his eye. . we really don't know WHAT it was, and we never will know.






Amy-
This is a transcript of the 11 o'clock news.

(Walter)"And we're back with the news at eleven. We have a unique story for you tonight involving a NASA employee and a Bay Area Boy Band. If that's not intriguing, well I don't know what is. We're going to go to Vivian Wang for the story, Vivian."

(Vivian)"Thanks Walter. I'm here in the Andes Mountains where a very interesting, but bizarre story has unfolded. Back in the US we have been watching the rise of boy band Townsend out of the California Bay Area. They are best known for their current single "Pour Some Sugar On Me" which is of course a remake of the Def Leppard Classic. Well down here in South America they are best known for the bizarre way they ended up here. (Cut to shot of Townsend being followed by Native People of the Andes Mountains. Of course Ryan has on some designer sunglasses and Matt is talking to the people like he's known them for years, and they understand him. Todd is talking on his cell phone, or at least trying. Nick and Dom are cooking with the women.) Earlier today I sat down with Townsend, some of the natives, and Bob Dolci, the reason Townsend has ended up here."

(Cut to video of Townsend interview)

(Vivian) "Thanks for speaking with me today. Now lets start at the beginning. Can you tell me what exactly happened?"
(Dominic Restani) "Well you see back a few billion years ago long before any of us were even a glimmer of life--- (he's cut off by Todd.)"
(Todd Dolci) "She means why are we in the Andes, not the story of life."
(Dominic) "Oh, I knew that."
(Nick Restani) "It kind of goes back to when we first started as a group. I think you have to understand that to know why this happened."
(Vivian) "OK take me back."
(Todd) "See when we were first a group we didn't have a manager. We were doing this all on our own. Making our demo, shopping it, and what not."
(Nick) "But we needed help. So that's where Bob came into the picture."
(Dom) "He was our interim manager and advisor. We basically pulled the whole family, guilt, 'he's your son' strings to get him to help us."
(Matt Yoakum) (Singing) "I'm from Oregon."
(Vivian) "And..."
(Matt) "Oh that’s all. I'm from Oregon."
(Vivian) "Alright, would you like to continue with the story?"
(Matt) "Sure, well see I came from Oregon,"
(Vivian) "We established that."
(Matt) "Oh yeah. Well I joined the group. And Bob was there. Him and Wendy started helping us out a lot. Bob you know was doing the management and advisement thing and then him and Wendy also started taking care of our website for us and basically being the main contact between our fans and us. And well I think that’s where the downward spiral began."
(Vivian) "What do you mean downward spiral?"

(Ryan Torres's eyes get wide and he gasps.)

(Vivian) "What is it, do you see something?"
(Ryan Torres) "Huh, wha?"
(Nick) "Oh no, he just "woke up"."
(Vivian) "You mean a little while ago?"
(Nick) "No right now."
(Vivian) "Oh well, um. Ok. Let’s continue with the story."

(Ryan stares off at a native woman making bread)

(Todd) "See during this time we were really busy. We were re-recording with Matt, trying to make appearances at as many places as possible, going to vocal lessons, doing choreography and trying to get a deal and a full time manager all at the same time. So making time for our fans was getting very difficult. Luckily we had my dad and Wendy there to keep our fans updated so they didn't lose interest in us."


(Dom) "As a result of that a lot of the fans started going to Bob for everything. Slowly over time he went from receiving one or two emails a week from Townsend fans to one or two emails and hour and then a minute. He couldn’t keep up with it."


(Todd) "I remember one time I came home to borrow clothes and get money from him and I found him sitting in front of the computer banging his head on the keyboard saying 'I have a real job. I have a real job' over and over and over again. I guess I should have known then he had hit rock bottom."


(Vivian) "What did you do when you found your father like that?"


(Todd) "What any normal son would do. I backed slowly out of the room, hid anything that looked sharp, got the clothes myself, and left him a note in his wallet that I took the Gold Card."


(Vivian) (Confused) "Right. Ok well lets take it forward a couple months and explain to me what brings you here, to the Andes."


(Ryan) "Crocodile Hunter."
(Vivian) "I'm sorry what was that Ryan?"
(Ryan) "I hope we see the Crocodile Hunter. Maybe he's shooting an episode."


(Vivian) "That’s why you're in the Andes Mountains?"
(Todd) "Don't listen to him. He's well, he's Ryan."


(Vivian) (Nodding) "Right. Ok. So back to the story."


(Dominic) "Well after we got our record deal we got booked to go on this tour of middle schools and well that only made matters worse. Everyday more and more people were making their way to the website and emailing Bob on top of all of our original fans who wanted to know basically what we were doing every waking minute. Finally one day, well he snapped. He packed up all his macho NASA stuff, you know fatigues, knives, tents, and stole some of that space food and jumped in a boat and started sailing to South America. He wanted to get as far away from that computer as possible. He left Wendy a note that said he was going to the Andes but he would be back in a few days. She called us immediately and since we felt responsible we figured the only thing we could do was come after him. So we got in a boat and rowed ourselves down here."


(Vivian) "You mean you took a cruise liner or something."
(Nick) "No. The only thing we could get was a rowboat built for 4. So we tied one of those inner tubes to the back of it and whoever wasn’t rowing at the time rode in that. It was pretty tiring, but you know you have to keep in shape if you're going to be in a boy band."


(Vivian) "This is like pulling teeth."
(Todd) "What was that?"
(Vivian) "Jesum Crow, Did I say that out loud? Sorry. Back to the story."
(Matt) "So once we got down here we figured we had to find out where Bob was."
(Vivian) "The Andes Mountains stretch for over 5500 miles how did you find him?"


(Matt) "Well first we checked all the train stations. And when we couldn't find him there we figured he would be some place really random and we just started showing all the Natives a picture of Bob. I mean look around you. It's not hard to miss a guy like Bob here."
(Vivian) "Ok so then what happened."
(Ryan) "Well I started searching for the Crocodile Hunter because I really like him."
(Vivian) "No I mean in the search for Bob."


(Ryan) "I know. See I was searching for the Crocodile Hunter. And we were on top of this mountain right. And I had on the coolest Quicksilver sunglasses. They were sick you should have seen them. And they fell off. Well I mean a pair of sunglasses like that you can’t lose. That’s like against the law or something. So I dove down the mountain trying to save them. And as I was rolling down the hill, these guys (pointing to the rest of the band) were chasing after me. They were screaming something but I couldn't really hear them because I was calling out to my sun glasses asking them to stop."


(Vivian) "You aren’t kidding me are you?"
(Ryan) "No, why?"
(Vivian) "Nothing continue."
(Ryan) "So finally my glasses listened to me and stopped and imagine that, we were at the bottom of the mountain. So I got my sunglasses and dusted myself off and the guys got down a little while later. And we started hiking around down here."


(Matt) "So while Ryan was still searching for the Crocodile Hunter I started singing to test the acoustics of the valley we were in."


(Todd) "And that’s when we saw my dad."
(Vivian) "Finally."


(Dominic) "He was sitting beside his tent using one of those huge rescue knifes to carve himself a chair. When he heard Matt and looked up and saw us he stabbed himself. Then he tried to make it worse by putting a stick in the wound. So since Nick and I have the training we used what we could find in the tent and we cleaned the cut and gave him seven stitches."


(Vivian) "I heard you actually wrote something with the stitches."
(Nick) "Oh yeah, it says Townsend. Its really pretty cool."


(Vivian) "Pretty cool. Yes Townsend is pretty cool for doing something like this. Thank you guys. So you heard it first, from Townsend. They made it to the Andes on a rescue mission to save Bob. When we get back from commercial we'll have my interview with Bob as well as what the Natives have to say about this exciting visit."

(Cut to Commercial)

(Flashy News intro with helicopters and the anchors/reporters)

(Vivian) "Welcome back. Once again I'm Vivian Wang here in the Andes Mountains bringing you the story of the Boy band Townsend and what brought them here. I am now sitting down with Bob a NASA employee and you could also say the reason that Townsend has ended up in the Andes. Bob, we heard the story from Townsend's side of it. Could you tell us what happened?"


(Bob Dolci) "Well all the emails were making me crazy so I decided to take a vacation. When I heard Matt it scared me and my knife slipped and I stabbed myself. There was a piece of wood stuck in my hand but the Twins thought I was putting the stick in the cut, so they came over and tackled me and then cleaned the cut and gave me stitches. And now we're here."


(Vivian) "Well you are very concise in comparison to Townsend."
(Bob) "Um, ok."
(Vivian) "So what happens from here?"
(Bob) "I'm going home tomorrow night like I had planned. I need to get back to my job at NASA."
(Vivian) "Alright, well good luck to you. Have a safe journey. And now here is my interview with the native people of the Andes from earlier today."

(Cut to video of Vivian with the natives.)

(Vivian) (Dressed in khakis to look adventurous, she approaches a man wearing a leaf.) "Hi. I'm Vivian Wang from the 11 o'clock news. Could you tell me everything you know about Townsend and why they are here?"


(Man wearing a leaf) "Wang Chung?"
(Vivian) "No, Vivian Wang from the 11 o'clock news."


(Man) (Singing)"Everybody have fun tonight, Everybody Wang Chung tonight!"


(Vivian) (Frustrated, but overly sweet) "Thank you sir."

(Vivian runs to a woman making bread, the camera shakes as the cameraman runs after her.)

(Vivian) "Hello, I'm Vivian Wang from the 11 o'clock news, could you tell me what it’s been like having celebrities here in your small village hidden away in the Andes."

(Woman making bread) (Hands her a roll and waits to see her eat it.)

(Vivian) "Oh no thanks. I’m on a carbo fast right now." (Hands bread back to woman and walks away.) "Well it seems this is harder than I thought it would be. I'm Vivian Wang with the 11 o'clock news back to you Walter." (Camera drops) "Is that thing off?"
(Camera Guy) "Yes."
(Vivian) "Great."

(Vivian is seen running back to the Woman making bread and begins to binge on rolls.)

(When the tape ends Walter in the studio is on screen.)

(Walter) "Thanks Vivian. That was a great story of adventure and heart. If only all boy bands were so caring maybe we would have more stories like that. When we come back a story of a dog that can do sign language here on the 11 o’clock news, your leader in hard hitting news."

(Walter does a cheesy salute and cut too commercial.)







Jenna (from FL)


It was 2 weeks before Townsend's biggest show yet...the 2002 Winter Olympics. The guys had been rehearsing every day and felt completely prepared for the big day. The only problem was... one of Townsend's key dancers suddenly fell ill. The guys begged T-Rex to fill in, and after much persuasion, he finally agreed. T-Rex had always been a great dancer, and this was the chance for him to really show off his great moves! Performance day finally came. The guys were scheduled to perform during warm-up for the men's speed skating competition. The performance was off to a great start, until suddenly T-Rex spotted Apolo Anton Ohno take a plunge into the wall. T-Rex immediately stopped dancing, ran over to Ohno to keep him from sliding, and tried to help him up. During the process, he accidentally grabbed his foot and sliced his hand on the blade of Apolo's skate. Luckily, Apolo was alright! . He competed and won a gold medal. He dedicated it to T-Rex, then sat with him at the emergency room as a thanks for saving him and helping him up.




Aimee
One day, agent 006 (aka Pops) was off to investigate the case of Dominic Restani. This Italian fugitive was attempting to clone himself in attempt to take over the world w/ his evil clone. Little did 006 know that Dom had already succeeded in this task, naming his clone "Nicholas". With 006's trusty sidekick, the ever so humble Matt, 006 was off to find Dom before his plans for world domination were completed. He received a message from Wu-Todd: 005 (an agent who bore a striking resemblance to himself) that Dom had been hiding out w/ his clone at Casa De Torres. This was a notorious place for fugitives and drug smugglers world wide to hide out. With Wu-Todd's help, the exact locations were given and 006 was on his way. He then receives a message: "Dominc Restani is wanted...DEAD OR ALIVE". He knew this mission would be difficult...but what was he to do?? How was he to proceed?? Simple...with Matt's wholesome good looks he could easily pass as a young man looking for shelter. Mission completed. 1:52 AM: Matt sneaks 006 into Casa De Torres, where they devise a plan to capture Dominic. They scurry about the house, as quietly as possible looking for any traces of where Dominic might be staying. The place is huge, yet their persistence goes on. They find one room, there's documents stacked on the desk. As they start to skim through these documents, they realize that they're formulas and directions to cloning. The how to's and what nots. They sweep up the formulas and continue to search for Mr. Restani. Finally, they open a door and alas!!!! There he is! Asleep in the bed, 006 pulls out his A-72 (it's a new type of gun, ok??? lol) and shoots Dominic, killing him on the spot. "That was all too easy!" he says, clearly satisfied w/ himself. Suddenly Matt gasps and as they turn around they see Nick, standing there w/ Ryan, the owner of Casa De Torres. "You've trespassed into my territory!" shouts Ryan. "Mr. Torres, I'm agent 006, the only reason for my intrusion was for the capture of Dominic Restani. "With my mission completed, we'll leave here and nobody will hear of this visit, I can assure you." Mr. Torres is in no mood for a compromise, yet he can't go on w/ the police knowing about his whereabouts. Ryan agrees to let them go, however Nick was other plans. He pulls out a gun and holds it to 006's head. "I was cloned into this world! I have no background, no family; the only person that I had is dead and it's all because of you!" He pulls the trigger and as he does Ryan grabs for Nick's arm, thrusting it downward. He fires a shot and blows off half of 006's right hand. Screaming, 006 reaches for his gun yet again and fires it, killing Nick, the evil clone. Ryan's infuriated at this point. "There are 2 bodies in my home and if there are reports of gun shots, so help me" "Don't worry!" says Matt, we'll clean up everything by noon tomorrow, just let us receive help for his hand!" 006 thinks for a moment...."Wait! I have these!" He pulls out Dominic's cloning papers and starts going over them. "I can help. I can't allow you to leave, in fear that you will have to tell people how you acquired that injury. But I can restore your hand, all I need is patience and time...and of course, you cleaning up the bodies in return, having said nothing of this incident". "Deal! Just hurry!" shouts 006. Hours later...006 awakens w/ his right hand bandaged up. "What happened??" he shouts, as he slowly regains consciousness. "Ryan cloned your hand," states Matt. "He took the part that was blown off and stitched it back onto your real hand. He did an excellent job, there's only 7 stitches!" With that done, they thank Mr. Torres for his kindness and promise not to reveal his whereabouts. After cleaning up the clone's body, they take Dominic's body and turn it in. When asked about his injury at the awards ceremony later that evening, 006 modestly says, "I accidentally stabbed myself in my hand with my mondo macho rescue knife two nights ago. I had to get seven stitches and that is why my right hand is all bandaged up".
Later that night...006 returns home to his loving wife, Wendy. After his mission is completed, he thinks to himself..."What a stud I am. Daring, confident, witty...and strong. Strong as.....a T-REX!

THE END



Laurina
Entry #1

At the latest Townsend concert I was helping Julie backstage, when I looked out of the door next to me I saw all these fans in the audience. The were screaming and jumping up and down with various signs in the audience saying "Todd is my baby" and Ryan..be my valentine!" I got a strange feeling and I went out on stage. All of a sudden, I saw this huge green thing coming down at a slow rate. I knew it couldn't be good, so I used my Nasa skills and put them to work. After warning Wendy of the danger, we decided we needed to use our super powers. What super powers you may ask? well, I have the power to run fast and she has the power to jump very high. When you combine our powers you get a unstoppable team. SO.. we went to the nearest payphone and in an instant were in our costume. I must tell you.. I have the best red cape I have ever seen on a super hero. Just as Ryan, Matt, Todd, nick and Dom were finishing up their third song, we noticed it almost hitting the top of the lamp. So, we knew what we had to do. Before I ran out, I noticed some sharp blades coming down from the side of this strange object. I ran the fast I could and Wendy jumped off my back. I noticed she was in danger, so I jumped as high as I could, and even though I couldn’t do this for years, I jumped higher than Wendy and pushed her over so she would not get hit by the blade. By doing this, the blade cut my hand and I fell to the floor. It turns out the machine stop if it got some blood of someone that loved people enough to risk their life. The machine went back up and aimed right for bin laden. I saved the day and my hand from bleeding to death. After all this, Townsend only plays in door arenas, Wendy and I make sure we have extra security and I have a bandage around my hand. At least we are all alive.. That is the story of how I cut my hand.




Laurina
Entry #2

As you all may know, Todd's room is like a jungle. I knew I had to clean it out but I kept putting it off. I was working on a project for the Wu family when I realized I was missing something...when I remembered where it was I had to convince myself... Finally the day came.. I have to enter that jungle they call a room. I tried to find a way to work around it. But I needed the glue sticks he had on his top shelf. I walked up stairs and down the hallway. When I finally approached his room I took a deep breath and opened the door. You would not believe what it looked and smelt like. I pinched my nose and dared to go where no other man has gone, well, besides Todd and Ryan. I walked over some old banana peals, year old sandwiches*more like 3 years* , some old promo cds, gifts the nick and dom gave his for his last few birthdays, and some old plates with old food practically glued on it. All of a sudden the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey Bob, it's Matt, Rye and Nick. Can you see if Wendy can make us some dinner? Todd and Dom went out with Wu Kris and Wu Pam for dinner. We can't have another night eating at Mc Donalds" "Sure, I'll see what I can do. I'll call you back on Julie's phone" I continued on my journey for the glue sticks. I would have never known where it was until I saw the hot glue gun resting on the top shelf with smoke coming out of it. "Todd, is it so hard to unplug the darn thing" I reached over to unplug it when I knocked it over onto my hand. Boy it was so hot that it cut me! He must have had that thing plugged in for at least 6 months if not a year. Come to think of it, the last time I remember him using it was when he made Wu Laurina a picture frame with their picture in it, and that was for her last birthday a year ago. I realized I needed to get my hand fixed so I grabbed the glue sticks and went down stairs. Wendy saw the blood and said, "Honey, what happened to your hand?
"Long story, I gotta get this checked out at the hospital. Can you drive for me? I hurt my good hand" "Sure let's go"

After several hours of filling out papers the nurse said "Mr. Dolci, the doctor will see you now" I entered the room and sat on the examination table. After the doctor checked it out, he came to the conclusion that I needed 7 stitches. After I got the stitches the bandaged it up and Wendy and I went home. We got to the house and I saw Matt's car in the driveway. "I forgot to tell you, some of the guys wanted to eat dinner here. Dom and Todd are out on dates with Kris and Pam, so they wanted to stay with us" "okaee, I was going to make soup tonight, I'll make sure to make enough"

After about an hour and a half dinner was ready. It was really nice seeing the guys again. After a long day I went up to bed and realized " What am I gunna tell the guys? I know!!!I'll say I had to battle a burning machine and that I'm lucky I only had to get 7 stitches. Yea, that's what I'll say"

The End:)



Steve Taylor-


I was checking out the belt in Todd’s car because as we when were driving through San Francisco we heard some strange noises coming from the hood of the car. I popped open the hood and saw exactly what is was. I yelled to Todd to come and look that there was a crack in the belt, that was when my idiotic son started the car and the radiator fan caught my hand and ended up cutting it deep. I had to have seven stitches. As it ran threw my head how to strangle the life out of him I thought to myself how am I going to explain this to his many fans. I could plead temporary insanity, but that wouldn't work. Ah heck I also love the idiotic kid, 2 out of 3, he lives.




Jackie Taylor-


Since the day of September 11th I have been in the habit of putting my flag up everyday and then bringing it in at night so nothing will happen to it. The last time that I was putting up the flag there was a very gusty wind coming in, but I continued to put up the flag. As I was hooking it up to the pole the wind became stronger. I was holding onto the ropes as hard as I could so the flag wouldn't fly off and I soon became entangled in the rope. I tried hard to untangle myself from the ropes, but they just became even tighter the more I tried. So I finally decided to pull out my pocketknife and cut the rope, but unfortunately I also cut my hand. So now I have seven stitches which will eventually become a scar that will remind me of the patriotism and pride I have for my country. After I washed my hand I put up the flag and it seemed to have shinned brighter then ever before. That's my story and I am sticking to it.




Sarita Taylor-
As I was on the side of the stage watching my son and the rest of the guys in Townsend performing on stage I saw this light above Townsend swinging back and forth. I continued to watch this light and now Todd was under it. The light was now vigorously swinging and began to fall towards my son. I ran as fast as I could towards Todd and pushed him out of the way and caught the light before it hit him. Unfortunately in the process my hand went through the glass part of the light and I cut my hand. I have seven stitches, but it was worth it knowing that these boys will still be able to touch the many lives of all their fans and also I got a standing ovation!




Lizzie Taylor-
As I was exiting a concert with all the guys I saw these two excited fans running towards us with scissors trying to cut some of the guys’ hair as a souvenir. I tried hard to fight off the girls and protect the guys. While I was fighting off the girls one of them accidentally cut me with their scissors. As I finally got the girls away from the guys the girls ran away laughing and screaming "We got their hair! We got their hair!" Then the guys of Townsend looked at me and started to laugh. They continued to laugh so hard that they started to cry as we walked to the car. We got into the car and I was tired of the guys laughing so I pulled down the visor mirror and was ready to tell them to be quite when I realized that I had been butchered (hardly any hair left). When we got home I went to the doctor and I received seven stitches as a "battle wound". So the girls got the hair, but it wasn't Townsend’s.



Chris Taylor-
I decided to trim the bushes in the front to where they spell out Townsend. I was standing out side in the front yard working hard to make this perfect and then the guys came over. They saw it and were saying how cool and great it was. I was putting the finishing touches on the "D" when Todd says, "Dad you spelled it wrong!" I turned around and said "What!". I was so distracted from Todd that I ended up cutting myself with the hedger. The guys were laughing hysterically. I actually did spell it correctly, but they thought it was cute joking around and it cost me seven stitches.



Rustychik
OK for this story of Mr. Dolci's lets see... ok the setting is... TREX works at this like Moffett airfield air port place and he’s an air traffic control guy and the Townsend dudes were on a plane back to cali cuz they were in Orlando doing a concert... opening for nsync! And then they were on a plane home and while it was descending the engine like started having failures so they crashed into a field and Bob ran out there as fast as he could and he ran to the plane and used his HUGE biceps to open the door and held it open while all the passengers, including Townsend, escaped and just as Ryan was escaping the door fell shut cutting his hand. But, he managed to pull out and the pilot was still in there... so with his hurt hand and all he went and he kicked open the cockpit and went in and rescued the pilot right b4 the plane exploded, so Bob is now known as a hero.. and he hurt his hand and got 7 stitches cuz the door fell on it cuz it was so heavy and had to hold it for so long!!

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