Insider Column 25

An insider's look at Townsend...
Chapter Twenty-five


January 7, 2002
Written for the Townsend Street Team website http://www.townsendstreetteam.com

Wow, who ever figured that I would be doing an Insider's Column as a guest on the Street Team's site? I think that Amy must have spent too much time in New York. It seems like she has lost the ability to make sound management decisions. That's what happens when you've lived in New York for a while; you lose the ability to reason. That plus you pick up a goofy accent. I think that it is caused by the air pollution. No not the accent, the inability to reason. I bet that 90% of the people in New York over the age of 12 smoke. Ick!

I'm not implying that people from New York are stupid. I was born there so I would have to assume that New Yorkers are reasonably intelligent. Besides, Townsend has a fan or two in New York, Long Island to be exact. That would be Justine and Justine, of course. Yes, there are two of them.

Tamara, Tamara, Tamara, what ever possessed you to get your bellybutton pierced? What did your dad say? Does he know? My Tami did it last summer. The blood still hasn't fully returned to my head yet. Maybe that's why I've been acting so weird lately. I guess I have no room to talk. I have a tattoo on one of my arms. I can't remember which arm because I can't see it. Actually, no one can see it. It's a tattoo of the invisible man. It was done in invisible ink. It can only be seen under a black light. What do you want!? I was a sailor for four years. Sailors do stupid things when they are on shore leave.

The bowl game halftime show was a real roller coaster ride for me. Just before the start of the game I was reminiscing about the last time I watched Todd "perform" at a halftime show at the Spartan's Stadium. I think Todd was six at the time. It was at an Earthquake soccer game. Todd's soccer team played against another team during the halftime. I remember being disappointed because Todd only scored one goal. I'm kidding!! I wasn't disappointed!

"Wasn't" is a strange word. Why isn't it like can't? Can't is a contraction for cannot. Why isn't "was not" spelled wasnot? Hey, now that I think about it, it's the same for did not and will not, and could not. "Cannot" is the one that is goofy. Sorry about that. Hey, that's better than pointing out the mood doesn't rhyme with hood.

So what do you all think of Pour Some Sugar on Me? I really love the song. I also love the way Paula choreographed it. Were you surprised to see all of the dancers during the halftime show? I don't know about you, but I know that I was totally impressed. My father-in-law remarked to Wendy about how beautiful the girls were and how well they danced. She asked him what he thought of the five guys and he said, "what guys?" I'm not sure, but there had to be at least 30 other backup dancers. Nice touch. Other than the sound on the first song, the whole thing was pretty amazing. I was at the 50-yard line taking pictures. You will notice that Wendy didn't post any wide-angle pictures of the first song. I was so excited I forgot to turn the camera on. I must have taken 20 pictures with the camera off. I'll blame that on Paula's dancers. I really should get to know them better. I'm just too shy to introduce my self.

Do the Townsend dancers have a stage name yet? If not, I think that we should come up with one. I've been giving it a little thought lately. I'm sure that all my recommendations will be rejected. If they are anything like the guys they won't even bother to read what I propose. So, what do you think about one of the following?
1. The Townsend Boogie Babes - Nah
2. The Townsend Rhythm Ramblers - Nah
3. The Townsend Toe Tappers - Nah
4. Troop Townsend - Nah
5. La Danseuse De Townsend - Maybe
6. Dancier De La Townsend - Better

Okay, so none of those really work. Why don't you try coming up with a name for them?

Last Friday I was invited to lunch with some of the original Townsend fans. I had a great time. I didn't realize that girls giggle so much though. How come things like this didn't happen to me when I was in high school? I went all four years of high school without going out on a single date. I couldn't get a date to save my life. It seems like all of the girls that I liked treated me like a brother. See the two pictures of me from when I was in high school? Okay, so maybe I wasn't the best looking guy in the school but I wasn't exactly banana slug ugly. Yes, I was in the art club. Yes, I was in the collectors club. Yes, I'm embarrassed by it. So don't say anything! Gee, maybe that's why girls didn't like me. They probably thought that I was some kind of wimp. Heck, I joined the Art Club to meet girls.









Guess what the name of Townsend's new CD is? This may come as a big surprise to you. They named it TOWNSEND! Did I already tell you that one of the new songs is called Jealousy? Julie told me the name of the other song but I forgot already. I think that it's called something like Bite Your Lip, or Shut Your Mouth. Wait, I remember, it's called Close Your Eyes. I understand that their CD will be sent to 75 different radio stations. I understand that Steve Harwell of Smash Mouth will be calling the radio stations to promote Townsend.

Let's see if I can Understand This? If you Close Your Eyes you can Pour Some Sugar on Me until you Just Say Goodbye. What I don't understand is what Jealousy has to do with anything.

Got to go. But, before I forget, I was kidding about having a tattoo.

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