Insider Column 20

An insider's look at Townsend...
Chapter Twenty


October 31, 2001

I must assume that there are one or two new Townsend fans that will be reading my column for the first time. I’m T Rex, aka Todd’s Dad, Kristen’s Pops, Bob, Uncle Bob, Tami’s Pop, Mr. Dolci and Butt Head. I write this totally inane column about Townsend that is short on real insight and long on old man wit. Wendy, my very lovely wife and Todd’s not-so-wicked stepmother, is Townsend’s webmaster. She lets me write this column. She’s does it hoping that it will make me feel important and needed.


Who went to the show on the 25th? You didn’t! Why not? It was a pretty good show. The guys debuted their new female dance group. What did you think about the girls? For the Townsend fans that were not there, which by the way was the vast majority of you, Townsend tried something new this time. They had five very talented dancers on stage with them. Personally, I felt that they added a little class and glamour. Not to take away anything from the guys, but I get tired of looking at just their ugly mugs on stage. Don’t be offended! If this is your first time reading my column I need to warn you that I often treat the guys like they are low order of magnitude life forms that grow in swamp water. Except for Matt, I treat him a little better than I do the other four. I treat him like he is a low order of magnitude life form that grows in fresh water. Don't worry about any of this, if you understood the relationship I have with the guys you would understand that all this just means I love 'em. In my own way of course.

As I said, the vast majority of Townsend fans were not at the show. The fans are spread too far and wide to attend all of the shows. Heck, there are many Townsend fans that have yet to attend any of the shows. Many of the fans met the guys through "promotional meet and greets". Speaking of which, it was unfortunate that the guys did not get to do a major meet and greet after their show this time. It was limited to a small group. I wish that I could have gotten more of you back stage to meet with the guys. I’m very sorry that I had to turn most of you down. Maybe if I didn’t treat the guys so poorly they would authorize me more back stage passes. Actually, it isn’t the guys, it's usually the park or arena management who sets limits on these things. If the guys had their way, they would allow all of their fans backstage. It seems to me, if I’m going to continue to do my "T Rex" thing I need to be authorized more back stage passes. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll tell them that I want special T Rex back stage passes and then I'll give them out to the fans.

After the show Todd asked me how I thought the show went. I told him that I thought that it went okay. Okay! That’s all?!!! Just okay!!? "Okay" coming from me is equivalent to "totally awesome dude" coming from one of the original Townsend fans. If I told Todd that it was awesome he would have called 911. He would have assumed that I was delirious with fever. Todd and I have this strange way of communicating. Usually we grunt at each other. We try to act like we are displeased with the other and we try not to be seen in public together. I think that he is ashamed of me. I’m kidding about the ashamed part! I’m not sure about the in public part.

The best part of the show for me was meeting some of the fans that I only knew through emails. Hi Michelle. Say hi to uncle Pat and your little sister for me. Of course I always enjoy meeting with the Townsend fans that I have known for a while. I enjoy the heck out of meeting new fans. I think that in the future I will require a written note from your parents that authorizes you to have your picture taken with me. I wouldn’t want my daughter Tami to have her picture taken with some strange old man.

The best part of the day for me had nothing to do with the show. I met Matt’s Mom, Dad, little brother and sister for the first time. Wendy and I had them over for breakfast Saturday morning. Normally all I get for breakfast is cold cereal. But because we had guests, Wendy made a real nice breakfast. Just kidding. Wendy always makes me a nice breakfast.

It is easy to understand why Matt is such a nice guy. Trina and Pete are wonderful people and obviously they are wonderful parents. I asked Trina to write a guest column for me about Matt. Hopefully she will do it. Matt’s brother Jacob is a giant of a nine-year-old. He looks just like Matt. He is also very hyper like Matt (ie in a good way). The major difference between Matt and Jacob is that Jacob doesn’t sing as he is bouncing off of the walls like his older brother. I think that Jacob made his mom a little nervous. She warned him not to play football in the house. That would have been perfectly fine with me.

Rachael, Matt’s thirteen-year-old sister is a charming young lady. She’s kinda quiet, at least compared to her brothers. She seemed to be totally unaffected by what was going on. She has a true inner peace about her. But, I am sure that she has a mischievous side, even if she didn’t show it.

This Saturday the guys will be going back to Great America to do a special show for the Girl Scouts of America. I hope that the weather is nice. An audience with potential new Townsend fans and very few existing Townsend fans, that should prove to be an interesting experience.

Well, I better go. As I promised last time, I’m trying to keep these columns short.

T Rex

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