Insider Column 18

An insider's look at Townsend...
Chapter Eighteen


September 15, 2001


This Insider’s Column was written over a several day period. I started it Tuesday evening, the day of the infamous national tragedy. Maybe it isn’t appropriate to use the Insider’s Column to address the tragic issues that confront all of us. I wouldn’t be doing this if the message board had not had so many comments posted about the disaster. This Column probably has way too much "Bob" in it. I hope that doesn't trouble you.

Tuesday, September 11th, ~7:00pm
I’m sitting in the NASA Ames Emergency Operations Center, wondering why I'm here. Well, OK, literally speaking I'm here because I made a commitment to NASA to be here during emergency situations. What I don't understand is "mans" inhumanity towards mankind. Today, terrorists attacked our country. I didn’t use the word cowards because the word terrorist is synonymous with the word coward, at least in my way of thinking.

I know that I should be writing about Townsend. The problem is that I am having a difficult time focusing my thoughts on Townsend. I’m not referring to the guys when I say that. They are on my mind. I’m happy that they're safe and do not have to deal directly with the tragedy of the events that are taking place in New York and in Washington DC.

Earlier today Amy, a Townsend fan in college in New York, posted a message on our message board telling us that she was okay. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to here that. Justine also lives In New York and I find myself thinking about her. I posted a message on the message board asking her to let us know how she is doing. I have yet to hear from her. At times like this I am troubled that I just don't know what to write about.

Action in our Emergency Operations Center (EOC) is at a lull right now. Because I have an obligation to be here I had to tell California Task Force 3, out of Menlo Park, that I can't deploy with my NASA DART teammates to New York City right away. CaTF-3 is one of our countries 28 highly qualified FEMA urban search and rescue teams. You cannot imagine how devastated this makes me feel that I cannot go with the first group of rescue specialists. The recovery operations will probably go on for well over a month. I’m being told that it may be four or more months. I hope to go to New York before this is all over. As long as we’re at Threat-con Delta I can’t leave this place.

Wednesday, September 12th, 6:00pm

The Passport Teen's night was cancelled. I’m not surprised. If that happened a week ago I would have been upset. Now it seems silly to be upset about that. The guys will have plenty of opportunities to perform and the fans will have plenty of opportunities to go to concerts.

Today I received an email from Justine. I was extremely relieved to hear that she was okay. It was illogical for me to worry. Over 8 million people live in the State of New York and I think that around 7 million live in New York City. Justine lives on Long Island. What is the probability that Justine would be in Manhattan, New York during the explosion? Very slim. Yet I was worried. The following is posted with Justine’s permission.

"I am ok, thank God. I actually was a couple blocks away from all the stuff that happened. I went to the city for an O-Town concert, and got to the venue to wait outside at 8:35am. Everything was going okay, until this 1 girl came over and started talking about what happened and I also heard a rumor about them bombing this building right across the street from the venue. But anyway, I heard like all the booms and saw all the massive smoke, which got into my lungs. Everything was cut off and on lockdown. So, no cell phones worked, only some pay phones worked. You could not leave the city at all!


After we found out the concert was cancelled, my friends and I walked to her mom’s workplace. So, we got to the workplace, and stayed there for a while. I called my parents because they were so upset and totally scared. A while after I got off the phone with them, the place I was at had a bomb threat! So, we all rushed to get down the flights of stairs, we get to ground level and the door was locked! We ran up the stairs again and we were allowed to take the elevators, before we couldn’t. We get to the ground floor to get out of the place, and the cops wouldn't let us out. So we walked out another door to this deli place. Then we found out the only way to get out of the city was to walk across the 59th street bridge!! So we walked mile after mile to get there. Massive crowds of ppl!! So it took 4ever to walk over it. Then, the next way to get out was to take the 7 Train, which was the only train working! I took that, after that was all done I had to take the bus to a train station so I could go back to Long Island. My friend and her mom got the ticket for me and told me what to do. Then I got on the bus, and it took 4ever to get through. There was so much traffic. I got to the train station, and I was on my way home."

Justine went through quite an ordeal.

There was good news today. Tomorrow we will be able to go from Threat-con Delta to Threat-con Charlie. That means that rather than being on the highest level of alert we are at the second highest level of alert. For me that means the difference between 30 minutes and 2 hours. Under Delta I cannot be more than thirty minutes away from the Emergency Operations Center at NASA Ames. Under Charlie I cannot be more than two hours away.

Thursday, September 13th, 6:00 pm
Guess what? I’m not in the Emergency Operations Center! I can go home early. It looks like I will have a short workday today, only 12 hours long. That’s good because I can barely keep my eyes open.

This morning, at least I think that it was this morning, I checked the Townsend message board. That’s my idea of taking a break for the insanity that I have had to deal with lately. Anyway, some of the messages that have been posted on the board lately have been very profound others have been very emotional. Two postings in particular I found to be very profound. One of the messages was posted by Danielle the other message was posted by Amy. If you read the message board I’m sure that you will know which ones I am referring to.

A few minutes ago I just received word that California Task Force 3 will be leaving for New York sometime next week. We’re sending six of our NASA Ames search and rescue specialist with them. Hopefully, I will be able to meet up with them in New York.

Friday, September 14th, 10:30 pm
This afternoon I went to a Fire Chiefs Meeting In Menlo Park. Menlo Park Fire District is the host agency for California Task Force 3 (CaTF-3). Next week CaTF-3 will be sending 62 exceptional people to New York. Before next week is over, there will be well over 1000 FEMA urban search and rescue (USAR) team members in New York and Washington DC. For each FEMA USAR person involved there will be at least 10 other people supporting him or her. Before this incident is over there will be thousands of USAR folks that will fill in behind them.

Because of the magnitude of this operation, it is likely that new rescue team members will be rotated in every 8 days. This mode of operation will go on for months. The effort won't stop until the last body is recovered. The work is physically and emotionally draining.

If you're sill with me you are probably wondering why I’m telling you all of this stuff. The reason is simple. The rescue workers of the country can use your help, and I will tell you how you can help in a moment.

One of the most violent acts in recent history in this country was in 1995 in Oklahoma City, when a bomb caused the collapse of the Murrah building. I’m sure you all remember this terrible tragedy. I was there with CaTF-3. On the fifth day that I was working in the collapsed structure I was standing on a pile of concrete rubble listening to the wind blowing through the debris making a strange whining noise. I remember thinking that it was the people who died in the building crying out for closure. They wanted rest for themselves and their loved ones. They wanted to be found so that their loved ones could just say goodbye.

While I was lost in thought a section of the floor that I was standing on gave out. It caused me to slide down the side of the rubble pile. I landed on all fours, missing steel rods that were sticking up through the concrete by just a couple of inches. As a result of the fall, I ended up with a severely sprained ankle with bone chips. I was taken to a local hospital by our task force doctor. A doctor at the hospital put my foot in an air splint and gave me crutches. I asked my team doctor to take me back to the collapsed structure site. He did.

The site was guarded. You had to get through several levels of security to get there. The collapse structure was the inner zone. Just out side of the inner secured zone was several outer secured zone. Our equipment and rest area was located in the outer zone closet to the primary gate that led to the inner zone. I do not know why we called it a rest area. Not a single one of my tammates ever took a break there. Occasionally, out of sheer exhaustion we would sit down on the concrete rubble.

My doctor told me to stay in the "rest area". I was sitting there with my foot propped up when one of the security guards came up to me. With him was a Catholic Priest. The security guard asked me if I was one of rescue workers. I said yes. The Priest asked if it would be okay if I would talk to a little girl that was in the childcare center when the building exploded. She wanted to talk to a rescue worker. She came with her Grandmother. I was rather dazed at that point so my recollection may be a little off. The girl was probably 5 or 6 years old. She was in a wheelchair. Her arm was in a cast and her face was bruised. We spoke for a few moments. Her Grandmother took me aside and told me that the little girl’s mother was still missing somewhere in the building. I fought back tears. The little girl gave me a pin, one of dozens that I got while I was there. The pin was an American flag made out of beads and little brass safety pins (I’m wearing it right now). The Priest gave me a tiny pin of an angel. It became harder to fight back the tears, but I did. After they left I grabbed my crutches and headed to the collapsed structure. I was going to go back to work. At least I thought I was. I get to the gate and the security guards tell me that I can’t go in on crutches. I couldn't believe that I was so stupid.


At that point I decided to go back to the convention center. The convention center was several miles away. That's where we stayed at night, on cots in the auditorium. I asked one of our logisticians to give me a ride back. He did. To get there we had to get through several security zones. At the outermost zone the people were there. They were always there waiting for news. Many of them were waiting for news of a lost loved one. You could see the terrible anguish in their eyes. This time I couldn’t look at them.

Our logisticians had a little makeshift office at the convention center. I grabbed one of the laptop computers and wrote a poem. The poem managed to make me more depressed (yes Tamara, that's the poem I sent you just two weeks ago).


I went to my cot. On my cot were the little stuffed animals that I had left there earlier that morning. The stack of cards and letters were still there. All the other gifts that I found on my cot after getting back from work each day was still there. And there were more. A day didn’t go by that we didn’t get cards letters and gifts. Every one of us, each and everyday we each received several gifts. The letters and cards were coming from all over the country. They were all addressed to the rescue workers. Most of them were coming from children.

I sat on the floor by my cot and started reading the new cards and letters. The poems that I read every day were incredible. I loved them. They cheered me up. This time was no different, they made me set aside my depression and gave me the resolve to find a way to get back to work.

The following day I got up at 4:30 am with the rest of my teammates. It was time to get ready for another 14 hours in the Murrah building. I looked at my foot. It was black and swollen. I put the air splint back on. I managed to pull my boot on over the splint. I laced my boot up as tight as I could. I got on the bus with my teammates. Just before I got to the last security gate I tossed my crutches aside. Nobody stopped me. I went back to work.

What I’m trying to tell you is that the cards and letters gave me the strength to carry on. I wasn’t the only one affected that way, all the rescue workers gained strength from the outpouring of love. To this day I have every card, letter, pin, stuffed animal, bandanna, pillow, t-shirt, whatever, I still have every one of them. I am positive that every one of my teammates feels exactly the way I do.

Townsend has fans from coast to coast. Of the 28 USAR teams in this country 24 of them meet the criteria to be deployed. There are eight teams in California. New York lost most of its team the first day of the disaster. Log onto the FEMA website and find out which team is closest to where you live. Support your team. They need your love and compassion. It gives them strength in a way that you may never understand. Tell your friends at school. Tell your younger brothers and sisters. Tell your parents. Send emails to your friends. It would be great if you could find out the names of the men and women who are on the team that you choose to support.

And please take the time to say a prayer, for all of the people who have lost their lives, for their families, and for all those who are pulling together to help us through this dark time.

Love,
Just one of many rescue specialists
T Rex

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