Insider Column 17

An insider's look at Townsend...
Chapter Seventeen


September 9, 2001

This column is rated (SC-13) for its sappy content. Readers over the age of 13 may find the sappiness to be immensely discomforting. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

I’m going to try something a little different this column. I’ve chosen not to be encumbered by the intellectual process that is commonly referred to as thinking ahead. Usually I give a modicum of thought to what I’m going to write prior to sitting down with mouse in hand. Not this time.

What did you think of Joy’s All Access Column? I thought that it was great. She sure does know the Townsend 5. Did I say that?

It seems like I’ve been having a series of mental lapses (extended senior moments) lately. I’ve managed to do some real stupid things! How did I ever confuse sick with stink? It is so clearly obvious to me now that "sick" can have a positive connotation and that stink cannot. And I was so hoping that "stink to high heaven," meant awesome. Does "sick as a dog" mean really, really cool?

I guess that I need to apologize to Matt (the vocal coach) for saying that he stinks rather than saying that he is sick. I’m sorry Matt! You don’t stink! You’re sick.

If none of the above makes sense to you, it’s probably because you didn’t read the last Insider’s Column and the message that I posted on the message board when I found out that I made a mistake.

Speaking of the last Insider’s Column. The last column was going to be my last. I even stated as much at the end of the last column. Wendy removed my statement about it being the last and convinced me that I should continue to write the *&#@!%# thing. I figured that it was a good time to give it up because I had completed the last Townsend interview, the one with Dom, and I really was running out of ideas. Not that I had any great ideas in the first place. I figured that if I kept it up you would eventually notice that I often had to resort to cheap literary tricks just to have more than a few words in the column. Not that I know what a literary trick is.

Do you sometimes get the impression that I can’t make my mind up about this column? It seems like I’m constantly threatening to drop it. I’m sure that I will continue to deal with the indecision on my part for as long as I’m involved with Townsend.

Okay, enough on that. We’re going to try a little experiment at the Jessica Simpson concert. I wonder how obvious it will be? (extremely obvious as you will see...) Todd won’t let me tell you in advance of the show.

I know that many of you are very disappointed that Townsend will not be able to conduct its normal meet and greet. There is an unwritten rule that openings acts must at all costs avoid behaving in a way that may upstage or appear to upstage the featured act. I must say that I totally agree with that. It’s a matter of respect. It’s also makes good business sense. The last thing that Townsend wants is to do irritate Jessica Simpson’s management. I think that it would be great if we had the opportunity to open for her again.

It wouldn’t be too sick/stinky/whatever to have a long line of fans waiting to meet the guys just prior Jessica’s Concert. I wonder if it will be okay to pass out our fliers (Not to be confused with flyers; not that there is anyway that it can be confused because they mean the same thing Wendy!!!)?

The guys have been busting their gluteus maximus’s lately. Their vocal lessons have been taking a couple of hours per day. Their dance lessons have been averaging 3 hours per night. I even have each one of them writing a new message to the fans for the web site. They were supposed to get them to me today. It’s not going to happen. They are way too busy. Todd tried to get me to write his for him. Oh contraire. No can do. If I cave, I’ll let you know.

The guys have three more concerts scheduled this month. After their show in Los Angeles on October 21st, the guys will spend the next two months in the recording studio working on four new songs. Did I already tell you that? Anyway, I’m looking forward to hearing what they’re going to do with their music. That is one area that I provide miniscule support to the guys. If I were to influence their music they would probably end up sounding like the Beatles. I still do not know the difference between hip hop and pop.

Way back when I started writing the Insider’s Column I referred to myself as Townsend’s interim manager. I made it clear that I was only doing this until I could find someone to replace me. I said that for two reasons. I didn’t really feel that I was adequately qualified to properly do the job and managing an all male vocal and dance group was not on my chosen career path. A lot has happened since I took on this little interim project for my son. I learned a very interesting fact; managing a band requires the use of many of the same management principles that I have used for the last 30 years.

Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of emails from Townsend fans that express how much my efforts are appreciated and how Townsend couldn’t have done it without me. What’s going on? Is the word on the street that I’m going to bail? First off, let me say that I really do appreciate all the kind comments, but…... Wait! Do not jump to any conclusions! My point is that I really am being given way too much of the credit for Townsend’s success to this point. Other than the obvious fact that the guys have more than just a little bit of talent, I get a ton of help.

Yesterday I was telling Todd how Julie Tittle was far more important to Townsend’s future than I am. Todd said, "I know dad". Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t totally out lived my usefulness yet. As I see it, Julie and Wendy are the real workhorses of our management team. It is incredible how much time and energy Julie devotes to Townsend. I could write a whole Insider’s Column on what Julie does for us. Wendy and I get a lot of the credit because of the website. My main function now is in making the occasional management decision. I’m not even sure that I’m needed for that. I think that Julie and the guys come to me for answers only because they want to make me feel important. Let us not forget that Robert Hayes of Spunout Records is providing extremely valuable management support.

When I first started this project I felt that the guys needed my help. A lot has happened since then. The tables have turned. Now I think that I need the guys, Julie, and my new friends (many of the fans) more than they need me. What a dilemma! I’ve grown accustomed to their smiles. Since the beginning I kept making statements like I can’t wait until I can give this all up and go back to the way it was. All of a sudden I find myself thinking about how I hope that this all doesn’t come to an end too soon. I’m not implying that I’m not prepared to give this all up some day. What I am implying is that it won’t be as easy as I anticipated. The truth is I’ve grown rather fond of four outstanding young men and I have gained a far better appreciation for my son.

When I do step aside I will have alot more time on my hands than I do now. I’m thinking about starting my own line of clothes. I’ll call it T Rex’s Haberdashery. I’ll specialize in clothes for short dumpy Italians. What would you think if I came out with a line of baggy business suits that had lots of pockets and zippers? The cuffs will come pre-tattered. I’m thinking double-knit plaid.

I’ve agreed to let one of the guys interview me. I can’t imagine what value there is to having one of the guys interview me. I’m sure that Todd would have no interest in doing it. Who do you think should do it? Matt would be the safest. Dom would be mischievous. Ryan may be a little shy. How about Nick? Let me know what you think. I guess I shouldn’t worry about it. It may be months before they have the time.

I hope to see you all at the Jessica Simpson concert.

Eat your vegetables. Study at least three hours per day. Write a poem for your dad. Until next time, walk down the path of grandeur and don’t look back.

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