Insider Column 15

INSIDER’S COLUMN #15 ...
"T Rex's Big Adventure"

AUGUST 25, 2001

Wendy and I are in Maine so my Insider Column is going to be void of inside information regarding Townsend. Not that it actually ever has had a lot of inside facts on the guys. Have you noticed that yet?

I’ve decided that it is important to write the column even though I have nothing to report. Let me take up your time with something far less interesting than Townsend. Remember how Wendy implied that she would share with you the story of my great air show flying adventure? For those of you who are true blue T Rex fans and want to know about my great flying adventure where I nearly blew chunks at 4gs, read on.

Early in the week of August 5th I received a phone call from the President of the Air Show Network. He asked me if I wanted to go for a joy ride on one of the jets, the Hawker Hunter, that would be performing in the air show. Without giving it much thought I flippantly said something like, “yea, sure, why not?” My flight was scheduled for Friday at noon, August 10th. Friday at 11:00am I get a phone call reminding me that my flight was scheduled for 12:00 noon. I made a mental note not to eat any lunch. At 11:45 I look behind the sofa in my office for my flight suit. Behind the sofa is my hidden storage. I shed my office attire and pull on my flight suit. I let out the waist straps. My girth had increased substantially since I last wore the flight suit. I grabbed two hands full of chocolate covered raisins and headed out to the NASA flight line. On my way out I called Wendy and Todd to let them know I was ready to embark on my great adventure. They met me out there.

Todd noticed and commented that my shoes did not go well with my flight suit. I, of course, was mortified. OMG, I wasn’t color coordinated! The three of us waited around for about 30 minutes. As it turned out the Hawker Hunter had been delayed in route. It was suggested that I go back to my office and that I would be called as soon as a plane was available to take me for my joy ride. Todd decided that I should go home first and get a pair of shoes that better matched my flight suit. I agreed, but not because I cared. I didn’t. Todd truly believes that I am the single most un-cool person around. Recently Todd has started giving me his old Nikes. I guess that he is hoping that some of his coolness will rub off on me. I don’t mind getting his old shoes because they look new to me.

At approximately 2:30 I get another call telling me that I should report to the flight line immediately because the Air Show Network had made special arrangements for me to fly one of the high performance aerobatic prop planes. I recall being disappointed when I heard him say, “prop”. Nonetheless, I grabbed two more hands full of chocolate covered raisins and headed out. Again I called Wendy and Todd. They met me out there just as the plane was taxiing in. The pilot climbs out of the plane, walks up, offers his hand, takes note of my flight suit with all its patches and he says, “Hi I’m John, I see that you have done quite a bit of flying”.

I said something like, “Well, actually these patches are rescue patches”.

John Replies, “Oh, are you a member of the 129th Air Rescue Wing?”

“No”, I replied, “I specialize in urban search and rescue”.

John nodded and started telling me what we were going to do as soon as we were airborne. I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention. I figured what did I care. I was just his passenger.

John helps me strap on my parachute. Wendy is taking pictures, Todd is looking a little nervous. I recall wondering why. As I’m trying to buckle up my parachute I nearly pull the ripcord. Todd is really beginning to look nervous. John is droning on about something.





I think he said something like, “We’re going to take off on runway three-two left. We’ll climb to 2000 feet and come left 90 degrees. We will head west until we reach the ocean. We’ll start off with a couple of simple rolls, do a couple of loops, a corkscrew or two and if we have time we’ll do a couple of death spirals.”

At this point I was beginning to understand why Todd was looking a little nervous. I belched. It left the taste of chocolate covered raisins in my mouth. Todd was probably thinking that I was going to get airsick. I wasn’t worried. I figured that it couldn’t be any worse than riding a roller coaster. Besides, just after I had joined the Navy I did a little skydiving so I new what it was like to fly on a small plane.

I was confident. I tried not to act macho but I was pumped.

I climbed into the forward seat. I was awkward. I strapped on the seat harness and put on my headset.

We took off moments later. As we departed I gave a cavalier wave to Todd and a thumb up to Wendy. Again I belched. This time it was due to a little nervous anticipation. At that point I decide that I really didn’t like chocolate covered raisins.



I daydreamed for a few minutes as we taxied down the runway. The runway is about two miles long. We used less than 800 feet before we were airborne. We were probably in the air less than 30 seconds before I heard John say, “take the controls, make your elevation 2000 feet and come left to course two-seven-zero.”

I recall thinking, whom is he talking to? There are only two of us in the plane. At least I had enough presence of mind to say, “say again.”

John repeated the orders again. I wanted to say something like, “are you crazy? I never flew a plane before!” I recalled what he was saying earlier about me being a pilot. It immediately became obvious to me that I had not made myself clear when I had told him that I had no flying experience. Either that or someone was playing a cruel joke on me.

OMG! What was I to do? My macho side took over. I did what came naturally. I figured that flying a plane couldn’t be much different than “flying” a submarine under water. I “flew” subs in the Navy. When given an order you repeat it and act on it. “Come to 2000 feet and make my course two-seven-zero,” I repeated. I grabbed the stick put both feet on the aileron pedals and did what I was told. I fought back another nervous belch.

Okay, this wasn’t bad. The plane responded as I had anticipated. What the heck! I’m a NASA engineer and flying must come naturally to all NASA engineers. I recall thinking to myself about how beautiful a day it was. The sky was blue. The air was calm. What a life!

“See the notch in the mountains?” my headset wined. “Increase your elevation and head for the notch.”

“Beautiful day,” I responded as I complied with his orders. Over the mountains we flew. I guesstimated that the notch in the mountains were at 2800 feet. We were flying at 3500 feet. Moments later we were over the ocean. Our air speed was 220 knots.

Again my headset squeaked out an order. “Turn right 90 degrees and check for aircraft in the area.”

“Turn right 90 degrees and check for aircraft,” I repeated. I executed his direction, looked for aircraft, and found none. “Looks clear to me.”

“Come left 180 degrees and look for aircraft.”

Again I did as instructed. There was no other aircraft in the area. I figured that we were just going to fly around for a while, maybe do a few little aerobatic tricks and then head back to Moffett Airfield. Wrong!

“Okay Bob, are you ready?”

“Sure,” I replied. Not knowing what I was ready for.

“I’m going to take the controls back for a moment. I want to make sure the plane is trim. After that I’m going to show you how to do a roll.”

Sure, why not, I thought. A roll couldn’t be more than one and a half Gs (1.5 times the force of gravity). I could easily handle that.

We did a quick left roll. For those of you who do not know what a roll is let me explain. A roll is where the plane rolls 360 degrees about the centerline of the fuselage while remaining level. For a very brief moment we were flying inverted.

Not bad. What next, I wondered?

“As soon as we regain our airspeed I want you to take back the controls and execute a hard left roll,” said the voice in my headset.

“What? Are you Crazy?” I screamed….. to myself. I do not remember if I repeated his order. I grabbed the stick, placed my left foot on the aileron pedal and prayed that the airspeed would remain below 200 knots. It didn’t. I began to sweat. As a matter of fact, I didn’t stop sweating until the plane landed.

“Go for it!” John stated.

I threw the stick over hard to the left. At the same time I applied left pedal. OMG. I executed a perfect roll. At least that is what I thought.

“Bob, that was the wimpiest roll I have ever seen. Try again. And this time do it like you mean it,” said John.

At this point I was beginning to think that this guy must be some kind of idiot. By now he should have realized that I know nothing about flying. Maybe I better tell him. No, I couldn’t do that.

“Okay,” I replied as I rapidly through the stick to the left and applied hard left pedal. This time it seemed like the plane was taking forever to complete the roll. I recall looking up and seeing the ground.

“Bob, you forgot to wait for your airspeed to build back up”, said the annoying voice in my headset.

“Right you are,” I replied.

“Let’s try that again. This time let’s wait until you have an airspeed of better than 210 knots.”

As soon as the airspeed was a touch over 210 I through the stick as quickly as I could to the left and slammed the left pedal to the floor. Smash, my head was thrown against the cockpit canopy. The whole maneuver couldn’t have taken more than two seconds. My head was ringing. I didn’t care. I was pleased.

“Well done Bob,” said the voice in my headset. “Let’s try a loop!”

“No problemo,” came a cocky sounding voice from my mouth. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t feeling macho. Rolls are one thing, loops are all together different. I hope he wasn’t expecting me to perform a loop. Performing a loop is equivalent to making a 360-degree vertical circle in the sky.

The plane started off level, it climbed at an extremely rapid rate until it was flying straight up. Just before the aircraft was pointing straight up it approached 4Gs of acceleration. At that point my body literally felt like it weighed over 800 lbs. The pressure on my chest was extensive. My head whipped back. The pressure didn’t last long. Within seconds we were at the top of the circle. My head was still back so I was looking directly at the top of the canopy. I could see the ground. We began our decent down the backside of the circle. For a moment we were in a state of free fall. We approached zero Gs. I felt like I was floating weightless for a second or two. The plane rapidly started to accelerate as it headed towards earth. Again I began to feel like a tub of lard as we headed straight down. At that point I’m beginning to see stars. I remember thinking to myself about how strange it was for it to be so dark so early in the day. Then it dawned on me, I must be sleeping. I was sure I was sleeping because someone was trying to wake me up. A squeaky voice in my ear was saying, “Are you okay Bob?”

“Yea, I’m fine.” I was about ready to ask why are you getting me up so early when I realized that I wasn’t being awakened from my evening repose.

“Great! Do you want to try it now?” John Asked.

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I’m feeling a little queasy.” The truth was that I was feeling down right sick.

Rather than bore you with the details of the flight back to Moffett Field, other than to say that I flew the plane back, I will rapidly wrap this up by saying that I managed to not blow chunks of chocolate covered raisins (Wendy is quite troubled that I writing about blowing chunks. She says it's revolting and is going to try to delete it. I’m going to stand firm on this one). I did come close a couple of times. When I got back Wendy was waiting for me. I felt good enough to drag my body out of the plane on my own. I even managed to climb out of the parachute. My flight suite was drenched in cold sweat. I walked towards Wendy. I was pleased that I was able to walk with a steady gait. She made a remark about the lack of color in my face. All I wanted to do was go lie down. I can’t remember if Todd was there. I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want him to think that his dad’s a wimp. It’s bad enough when your son thinks that you’re un-cool. It would be devastating to Todd if he thought that I was an un-cool wimp.



After thanking John and kissing Wendy goodbye, I drove myself back to my office. The container of chocolate covered raisins was sitting on my desk where I had left it. I barely made it to my trashcan it time.

Just kidding about the trashcan. I didn’t really need it.

So now you know all about T Rex’s great flying adventure. I would like to take a moment to thank the following people for reading my column this week:
Amy
Courtney
Heather
Joy
Kristen
Megan
Michelle
Sheerin
Stella
Tamara

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