Guess Who? A Special Insider's Column
July 11, 2002
Guess who? Yes, it’s me again, the master of disaster, Dorko-dad, Wu-dad, Pops, Filbert, T-Rex, Uncle Bob, Mr. Dolci, Bob; the guy most frequently referred to as Todd’s Dad. Did you miss me? Go ahead, admit it, you missed me. Yup, I knew it.
No, I’m not coming out of retirement. I’m just doing a favor for a good friend. Ya see, Amber asked me to write a column. Actually, what she said was. “So I know your active role in Townsend is like nothing now, but I was wondering if you wanted to write one last Insider column for me to put up on Townsend Love website about how you've seen things change for you, Wendy, and the guys since you and Wendy stepped out of the picture.” My initial response went something like this, “Hello, hello, is anybody home? Write another Insider Column!! Are you crazy or something? Are you trying to get Dom to come after me with a club? Geez, do you want Wendy to divorce me? Okay, let me think about it for a second. Tic tock, time’s up. I would love to write another column for you. Todd will freak when I tell him.”
For whatever reason, I didn’t get around to telling Todd that I was going to do this. That’s okay because it isn’t likely that either Todd or Dom will read it anyway. I would guess that the only way that the guys would read it would be if I wrote something very controversial and one of you ratted on me. The truth is that I’m tempted to write about some of the nasty stuff that went on behind the scenes when I was managing Townsend. But, I don’t think I will.
Prior to the guys signing with Sound Management I would see them two to three times per week. Now, the only time I see the guys is when they perform locally or when I go to one of their meet and greets. For the most part, I see them and they do not see me. The same holds true for Wendy except that she doesn’t go to the meet and greets. The big reason that I go to the meet and greets and the shows are to see the fans that I have grown close to.
I hate to admit it but the biggest change for Wendy and me is that the five guys seem to be growing away from us. Yes, I include Todd in that statement as it applies to Townsend. At times I get the feeling that we are a little more than a distant memory. I’m probably overstating the reality of it. And no, I do not include Todd in that thought. Todd and I will remain extremely close no matter what happens. Not that we always act like nothing can come between us. Other than one of the Townsend parents, I can’t think of anyone that treats me with as much disrespect as Todd does. Oh wait, I can think of someone worse than Todd. My brothers, they are far worse than Todd. Fortunately, I know how much Todd loves and respects me. It must be some kind of strange father/son thing that Todd and I have going on between us. Holly once told me that she thought that my relationship with Todd was “unique”. I think that that was her way of saying that it didn’t appear as if Todd and I got along very well. Other Townsend fans that have seen Todd and I interact have expressed the same feelings. Ya know the problem is probably due to that fact that I didn’t spank Todd enough while he was growing up. How could once possibly be enough?
Based on comments that I have received from a few of you, I have the feeling that some of you are experiencing that same thing that Wendy and I are with respect to Townsend. There seems to be this general feeling that the guys are beginning to treat many of us like fans rather than friends. I’m not sure that that is actually the case. I know that at times it seems like the guys grow more distant as they grow more successful. As you would expect, fans are not going to be given the same level of attention as friends. Many of us consider ourselves to be friends of Townsend rather than just fans. I am sure that there are far more of us claiming to be friends with Townsend than the other way around. One of the many things that I have learned in the music entertainment business is that it seems to be an accepted practice to treat fans as if they were second-class citizens. Of course there is a major exception to this rule, during performances and meet and greets all fans are treated as if they are the long lost friends reunited. That’s just good business. Unfortunately, it can also be very confusing to those fans that feel that their relationship with the guys is more than just that of a fan. At meet and greets fans are treated like royalty and at other times they’re ignored. Yup, that can be very confusing. The guys aren’t always aware of the effect that this has on others. They may not know that many of us see ourselves as friends first and fans second.
On a more positive note, I’m happy to say that my relationship with many of the fans seems to be getting stronger. I cannot believe how incredibly close I feel to some of the fans. I often refer to the young people that I’ve met through Townsend and have grown close to as fans, but in reality they’re my friends. It’s like I have a huge extended family. When I first put together Townsend’s marketing plan I stated that Townsend was all about family, friends and fans. At the time I wasn’t sure if that was true. Wendy and I came up with the scheme for the Townsend logo. You know, the crossed arrows forming the T and how it stood for the protection of friends and family. The guys loved it and they believed it. Of course that was before they actually had a significant fan base. One thing I now know for sure is that many of the Townsend fans took that statement to heart and have acted on it. Let me share with you part of an email that I recently received. The writer is referring to the Marin County Fair. Seeing that I haven’t asked Mina if it’s okay to include her email here I can’t tell you that she wrote it.
“What did you think about Thursday, it was great wasn't it? The morning show was off the hook. The guys did awesome as usual! I was very happy for them. So happy that right when the fireworks came on I busted out in tears, and of course Jessie and Heidi did too. We had a little bonding moment. I started crying because it had been a year since I had met these guys and, well, Bob did you see that line?? It was crazy!! This has been the best year of my life! I truly mean that! I feel like God blessed me with these guys. I want nothing but the best for them! I was still in the parking lot looking for our car and I already missed them! I missed the way I feel sooo safe in Todd's arms cuz he's like my teddy bear. I missed the way Nick can make the whole world seem like a better place by just smiling at you. I missed the way Dom assures you that everything is going to be fine. I missed the way I crack up so hard until tears come out my eyes whenever Matt is around. I missed the way I feel sooo happy whenever Ryan calls me HIS diesel girl! All these things are what make me love the guys! I love them to death! I truly feel very blessed to have met you all, that doesn't just mean the guys, it means you, Wendy, all the girls, everyone! You are all like my other family. I would give anything for any one of you. You all mean soo much to me that words can’t even explain.”
Okay, I bet that many of you think that Mina’s feelings are unique. Not true. I cannot tell you the number of times that I have read the same sentiments about the guys and the “greater Townsend family”. Some of you may also think that dear little Mina was being a little sappy. I think not! To me it was sincere, warm, insightful and poignant. The only problem is that while it’s easy for the many to love a few it is very hard, if not impossible, for a few to love the many. Look at how many fans LOVE NSYNC. It is impossible for a group like NSYNC to know, let alone love, all of their fans.
I know one thing for sure; there is a lot of Townsend love going on. In large part it’s between the fans that have become very close friends with each other. Townsend was the mechanism that brought all of us together. Townsend provided us the opportunity to get to know each other. Even if the guys do not have the time to devote to all of us (let’s face it; that’s impossible), we still have each other and we still have a great group of guys to entertain us. Look at it this way; many of our friendships will last long beyond Townsend.
I’m not sure if I answered the question that Amber really wanted answered. So, let me answer it with regards to the changes that I have seen in the guys as individuals since they signed with Sound Management. Let’s start with Todd.
Todd has probably improved the most when it comes to singing and dancing. Especially dancing. His dancing has improved ten-fold. I think that we would all agree that his dancing used to leave a lot to be desired. That’s just a nice way of saying that it was horrendous. It used to cause me mild stomach pain. Now I actually enjoy watching him dance.
While I almost find it impossible to believe, Todd has become more stubborn. Most of you probably did not know that Todd is incredibly stubborn. When I say incredibly stubborn I mean incredibly stubborn. Wendy and I offered on numerous occasions to put the original Townsend website back on line until their new site was on-line. He absolutely refused to let us even though he knew that the fans wanted the old site back. Todd recently told me that their new site would be on-line real soon. Of course he has said that before. This time I believe him.
Have you ever noticed that at the Townsend meet and greets Todd is almost always at the beginning of the group or at the end? What’s with that?
Ryan has matured as a person and as an entertainer. If I was Ryan’s father I would be real proud of him. Heck, I’m not his father and I’m real proud of him. He is definitely coming into his own. He has a quiet confidence about him that I really like. He is no longer a kid hoping things will happen. Now he’s a young man making things happen. Have you noticed that Ryan is doing more of the lead singing? Is that great or what? I am sure that no mater what happens with Townsend, Ryan will have a career in entertainment.
Matt is probably the easiest of the five for me to comment on. Why, because from my perspective he has changed the least. If Townsend makes it big, Matt will be the one member of Townsend that will likely be least influenced by success. Matt is well grounded. That has and will continue to serve him well.
Just because Matt is well grounded that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a fun loving side. Have you ever noticed that mischievous little twinkle in his eyes? Probably not. You get so caught up in his charming ear-to-ear smile that you probably do not notice that mischievous little twinkle.
Matt continues to be the mainstay of the group even though Ryan is sharing more of the lead singer responsibilities. If the group doesn’t make it, I hope Matt doesn’t give up on his desire to have a career as a singer. Not only is he a great singer, he is an excellent songwriter. It would be a shame for his talent to go to waste.
The twins present a real dilemma for me. The difference between those two guys is like night and day. While I would have to say that my relationship with Nick remains very strong, I would also have to say that Dom and I seem to have a significant lack of understanding of each other. We each reside in a different plane of existence. I consider Nick to be one of the finest young men that I have had the pleasure of knowing. I am by no means trying to imply that Dom is not a great guy. He is; it just seems that one of us is singing slightly out of key with respect to the other.
This is way too long. I better say goodbye. But, before I do, remember that the most powerful force in the universe is love.
Bob