The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
LIES FEARS & LOVE
BY TROG |
CHAPTER
13 |
chapter 13
NEW YORK, TEA'S APARTMENT
Tea sat on the floor of her living room, flipping absentmindedly through a legal pad as she typed into her laptop. Casually dressed in jeans and a red tank top, her hair in a careless ponytail and her feet bare, she kept a watchful eye on her precocious son, Thomas Leon, as he stacked up colorful plastic blocks only to tear them down over and over again. He was obviously enjoying the destructive part of his exercise, concentrating very hard as he was stacking - as if it were tedious work - then giggling happily when he destroyed it all. Tea smiled and watched him with great fascination - everything he did seemed wondrous to her. And Todd was missing it all, she thought.
She could barely concentrate on her work, the memory of last night too raw, too fresh - her body could not forget his touch. Her starving body had feasted last night and now, like a ravenous vampire who had acquired a taste for life, it wanted more. She wanted to feel his blood pumping inside her again, his life-force coursing through her body and to feel this desire that consumed them both.
No man had ever loved her that way physically, with such an appetite for love. When he was inside her, he always attempted to go deeper, further than his physical body would allow him, as if he were some desperate explorer searching to find the Holy Grail - her heart. What he didn't realize was that he had already found it long ago, and possessed it completely.
She watched Leo silently and her guilt consumed her. Keeping him from Todd was torturing her, specially after last night. Would Todd even want to know? That comment on the docks, "I wish I had gotten you pregnant" kept creeping through her mind. Did he mean that or was he just trying to soften the blow of Blair's pregnancy.
When they had made love in her darkened room he had whispered that he loved her. Did he love her still, or were those just the words of a sexually satisfied man who didn't want to hurt her feelings after taking his fulfillment of her? And if she did tell him, would it all be too much for him emotionally and would he just run off again? These fears and doubts plagued her mind like relentless harpies.
As she struggled with her thoughts she was startled by a noisy crash! Leo had tired of his blocks, crawled over to a small round table and yanked the tablecloth down so that all the contents on top of it came clashing down to the floor. Tea jumped up quickly and ran over to him as Lourdes came running down the hallway to check on the commotion.
"Leo! Aye, Dios mio!" Tea yelled, checking to see if he was hurt (and he wasn't)but the sound of her raised voice scared him so he grabbed the tablecloth and covered his head with it. Tea looked over at Lourdes and both women started laughing and shaking their heads. Tea reached down, pulling the tablecloth off his face slowly, expecting that he'd be crying with shame, but instead, he just giggled with delight at being discovered in his hiding place and began crawling quickly away in another direction like an Energizer bunny. His mother grabbed him quickly and pulled him up into her arm.
"Come here my little cockroach," she said adoringly. Ordinarily she would discipline him on such an occasion, but she had missed him so much while she was in Llanview that she decided on a reprieve.
As she scolded him lovingly, Lourdes rearranged the tablecloth and picked up the items on the floor.
"He did that to me three times, yesterday. I think when he starts walking, Ms. Delgado, we're going to have to bolt everything down."
"He's so much like his father. Todd loved the sound of crashing objects against the wall."
Tea laughed as Leo played with her hair and tank top, his hazel eyes examining every detail of her face the way Todd's use to. She looked into his eyes and suddenly started crying uncontrollably, pulling Leo so tightly to her that he began to cry as well.
Lourdes walked over instantly and took Leo from her.
"I think Mr. Leo needs a nap," she said taking him quickly down the hall. When she returned a few minutes later, Tea was on the sofa, still in tears. Lourdes sat beside her and placed a motherly arm around her.
"Leo's fine. Don't get upset over an accident, he'll have many more," she said comfortingly, knowing perfectly well that it had nothing to do with Leo.
"I know, Lourdes, it's not that," said Tea getting up. She needed to confide in someone, and she adored and trusted Lourdes, but she didn't want to cross the line in their relationship.
"Ms. Delgado, if you need to talk, I'm a good listener. I know I'm just your employee, but I do live here and I care for both you and Leo. You can trust me."
Tea sat down next to her, taking her hand and looking into her warm dark eyes and her sweet, olive-skinned face surrounded by curly brown hair.
"Oh, no, Lourdes. You are much more than an employee - you're a part of this family. It's just that you already do so much around here, I shouldn't burden you with my personal problems too."
"Frankly, Ms. Delgado, sometimes I wish you would. I can see how sad you get sometimes and it breaks my heart to think you can't confide in me. I want you to."
Tea stared at her then hugged her with a sigh of relief.
"Well, Lourdes, I guess it has to do with Leo's father, Todd Manning. I saw him when I was in Llanview, we ran into each other accidentally and it was difficult to keep this from him. I hate myself for it!"
"Well, than why don't you let him know?"
Tea gets up and begins pacing around, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her loose jeans.
"It's complicated. You see he's back with his first wife, they have an 8 year-old daughter and they're expecting another child," said Tea, choking on the last words.
Lourdes watched her as a tear fell from the corner of her right eye and rolled slowly down her smooth cheek.
"You still have feelings for him?"
"Yes, I think we both do - but, that's complicated too."
"He sounds like a complicated man?"
Tea laughed, wiping away her tear.
"Lourdes, that is the understatement of the millennium," said Tea looking at her housekeeper,"but I love him. I love his complexity, his dark nature, his blistering humor - I love all of him. He just doesn't believe me."
"Are they re-married?"
"No. Todd is only with her because of the children. I'm sure of that."
"And is he in love with you still?"
Tea stares at Lourdes, weighing the question in her mind.
"Yes, I believe he is...he told me he loved me...what should I do?"
Lourdes sighed deeply, looking down at the floor and carefully weighing everything Tea had told her. She nodded her curly head slowly as if seeing the solution right there in front of her, on the floor. There was an old wisdom inherent in her countenance for in her life as a domestic she had seen her share of problems in the personal lives of others and most of them came from lies, fears and love.
She got up and walked over to Tea, taking her hand.
"First of all, you must convince him of your love for him, and then, when you are sure that he believes you, you must be honest and tell him about Leo. He will be angry for sure, and it may take a while for him to forgive you, but that's a risk you must take. Leo belongs to you, but he belongs equally to his father. Mr. Manning, has a right to know his son and you have no right to deny Mr. Leo his father."
Lourdes' words were sobering, almost harsh. Tea raised an eyebrow at her housekeeper's brutal honesty.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, Senhora, but I think you must examine your own motives for keeping a son away from his father. Are you afraid he'll reject Leo, or you?"
"No, you're not being disrespectful, you're right! At first I thought I was doing it for Todd, that I wanted him to be happy and not burden him with me and Leo, but now I think my jealousy of Blair - she's his ex-wife - has somewhat influenced this decision and I'm heartsick over it. Todd has a difficult time trusting people and Blair is a born liar. He has suffered so many betrayals at her hand, and I never want to be like her. Now...I think I am."
Lourdes looked at Tea with motherly concern.
"Oh, no, I don't believe you're like that afer all your first concerns were of Mr. Manning's happiness, but sometimes love does confuse things. And if he truly loves you, then, eventually, he will understand too. But first, you must be honest with him, and with yourself."
Tea shook her head slowly, looking scared and confused.
"I just don't know, Lourdes...I just don't know?"
The doorbell suddenly interrupted them and Lourdes walked over to answer it. Looking through the peephole she saw a deliveryman standing there holding some flowers. She swung open the door and noticed that he was holding an exquisite cut-crystal vase with two dozen, perfect peach roses in it.
"Ms. Delgado?"
Lourdes turned around and noticed the stunned look on Tea's face. She was speechless.
Tea walked over and took the roses from him as if in a trance. Lourdes tipped the man and shut the door quickly. When she turned back to Tea, she had place the roses on the coffee table and was sitting opposite them staring at the card that came with them.
Tea slid the card out of the envelope slowly and read it to herself. It said, "Soon..."
For a few moments there was total silence as Tea continued to stare at the card in her hand, but suddenly she leapt up nervously, her eyes darting all over the room looking for something. Finally, she ran over to the wall and slipped on her sandals quickly. She grabbed her bag, slipped it over her shoulder and ran for the door.
"Lourdes, kiss Leo for me. I'll try to be back by tonight. I'm going to the airport, to Llanview," and with that she was out the door.
to be continued...
2001 Copyright by Trog
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