The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
LIES FEARS & LOVE
BY TROG |
CHAPTER
4 |
chapter 4
DORIAN'S MANSION;
Blair walked in quietly looking pale and exhausted. Placing her purse on a nearby chair, she walked over to the gold-rimmed mirror in the foyer, at the bottom of the stairs. She looked into her own eyes and then at her stomach. Her hand rubbed it gently, moving lower and feeling the lingering soreness of her empty body. She felt gutted and scraped and completely alone....
She had not seen the fetus, she didn't want to. Dr. Parker said it was a boy--9 inches long and weighing less than 8 ounces. They referred to it as the "Cramer Baby" for it had no name, no identity. Dr. Parker had asked her what she wanted to do with him, perhaps a memorial service of some sort, or she could have the hospital take care of it. In the end, Blair signed a release allowing the hospital to dispose of the fetus. "Dispose" she thought to herself. The fetus would probably go to medical research, Dr. Parker had said. Blair had a fleeting vision of medical students cutting up her baby--the Cramer Baby. She felt nauseous at the thought and her eyes filled with tears.
She had to tell Todd she had decided. She couldn't handle this alone. It was too much for her. She wanted to be comforted and defended. Her whole life had been about surviving and she was tired of living on the offensive as she always did. She wanted to trust Todd to take care of her instead of always having to rely on herself. This time she would tell him the truth, she would trust him and his loyalty to her.
"Mommy! Mommy," yelled Starr running down the stairs with open arms followed closely by her nanny, Clair, a sour, prissy woman with short, red hair and blue, horn-rimmed glasses. Starr flew into her mother's arms and Blair held her closely. Looking up at her mother, Starr noticed she was crying.
"Mommy, what's wrong?"
"Oh, it's nothing, Starr, I just missed my little girl so much...is your father here?"
"No! And he didn't come home last night either," she tattled.
Blair looked at Clair.
"Is this true. Clair, do you know where Mr. Manning is?"
Clair adjusted her glasses and spoke in a low, terse voice.
"He came home earlier to shower and change, while Miss Starr was at camp, but then he left again. He said he was going back to work."
"Mommy, I have to go to gymnastics now. Will you take me?"
"Oh, I'd love to, sweetheart, but Mommy's so tired from her long drive and needs to rest."
"You mean you AND my baby brother need to rest."
Blair forced a smile and held back tears.
"Clair can take you to the gym and you, your Daddy and me can all do something special later, okay?"
"Okay. Bye, Mommy," said Starr heading out the door with Clair.
"I'll see you later, Starr," called Blair, waving, then closing the door.
She walked without impetus into the living room and sat down resting her head on the back of the sofa. Yes, for once in her life she was going to be honest with Todd and everything would work out for them. They would have it all--money, power, family--yes, everything would turn out okay.
She looked over at the coffee table and noticed the mail along with the morning edition of The Sun, still wrapped with an elastic band. Todd usually opened it first thing in the morning but he hadn't come home last night. He often worked late, or went for a drive in the middle of the night, but he had been home when she called last night? She reached over and picked up the newspaper, sliding the elastic band off of it and unfurling it to the front page. "Local Citizen Honored," it read. Blair sat up and stared at the photo below it with a shocked expression.
"Tea Delgado!"
She slammed the paper down violently. He hands clutching her spiky hair and her teeth clenched in anger. She got up and started pacing even though her tired, aching body cried out for rest. Todd didn't come home last night--was he with her? Could she lose everything again to this woman? Tea Delgado usurped her whole life in the past--she took Todd, She took Starr, she took their penthouse--she'd be damned if she'd let her take it again.
Blair heard the sound of a key in the lock of the front door--it was probably Todd! She quickly grabbed the newspaper and shoved in under the sofa. Walking over to an armoire in the corner, she quickly opened a drawer, and removed a small stack of linen napkins. Lifting her long tunic she quickly shoved the napkins beneath the waistband of her pants and pulled down the tunic, adjusting the stuffing to look like a belly.
"Todd, is that you," she called out sweetly, plastering a smile on her face.
Todd walked over and stood in the doorway with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his expensive gray suit. He looked at her but said nothing. Blair walked over to him and planted a light kiss on his lips, but he didn't respond. He moved slightly back from her and eyed her stomach.
"I think you grew overnight, Blair," he commented dryly.
Blair looked down at herself. In her haste she might have over done it a little. She tugged at her blouse.
"Oh, it's this blouse. It makes me look bigger than I am."
Todd walked past her and picked up the mail, scanning it absentmindedly.
"So, what was the important thing you wanted to discuss with me," he asked.
"What?...oh...that. Well, I was thinking...about the baby...and Starr..."
"What about them," he asked getting annoyed with her.
Blair walked around slowly. Trying to think up some plausible lie that he would believe, one that would also serve her purpose.
"Well, Todd, I've been thinking that we should get married right away."
Todd looked up at her with a look of astonishment.
"Todd why do you look so surprised. You were going to marry me anyway, even before this baby. And Starr is starting to ask questions. You don't want our baby to be illegitimate, do you?"
Blair looked at him innocently. Secretly she was so proud of herself, of her ability to land on her feet. Todd would marry her, if not for Starr, than for this baby. She didn't want it to be this way, but she had no choice now, not with Tea back in town. Blair would do what she had to do get what she wanted.
Todd eyed her suspiciously. She had that look in her eye, that "cat who swallowed the canary" look that he recognized so clearly. He smelled a lie but he couldn't figure out which part it was.
"Why now? Did your psycho mother put this idea in your head? Does she want to get her hands on my money too?"
"Todd, this has nothing to do with my mother. We promised Starr a family now I think that involves a husband and wife, doesn't it?"
"Does that include a wife who uses her unborn baby like a bargaining chip?"
Blair was stunned by his statement, by the irony of his words. For a moment she was terrified that he suspected, but there was no way he could have known. She had to stay cool and focused.
"Todd, please forgive me. I didn't tell you it was yours because I wanted you to prove your love for me. That you wanted me despite the paternity of this baby. But that's all in the past now. No more lies from this moment on, I promise," she said with all the false sincerity she could muster.
Todd watched her feigning sweetness and sincerity, caressing her swollen belly lovingly for effect. He knew he didn't have much choice in the matter because that kid would be born whether he liked it or not. But he wanted her to sweat a little...
"I'm not sure I want to marry you. Maybe I'll just take that kid too. I'll think about it and let you know."
Blair felt anger rising in her. She needed more than this from him and she knew how to get it. She clutched her stomach and doubled over with pain, letting out a terrible cry.
"Oh my God...Todd..."
Todd dropped the mail he was holding and ran to her side taking her hand with genuine concern.
"Blair, what's wrong...I'm calling 911," he said rushing toward the phone.
"No Todd, don't. It's passing...there, it's gone."
Todd stared at her and finally put down the phone.
"Dr. Parker said I should avoid stressful situations. I guess your not wanting to marry me got me more upset than I realized."
Todd stood there looking at her belly, filled with guilt and remorse. No matter what he felt he didn't want to hurt his unborn child.
"I'm sorry, Blair. I didn't mean to upset you. Sure...I mean I guess we should get married...sometime before the baby's born. Okay?"
"Okay," said Blair, smiling triumphantly. "Now if you don't mind, Mommy and baby need to go take a nap and get some rest. We have a wedding to plan."
"Do you need some help climbing the stairs?"
"No, I can handle it. Everything is going to be just fine," Said Blair patting his arm and leaving the room.
Todd watched her climb the stairs slowly, passing the Manning family portrait, and disappearing upstairs. He walked back into the living room, his mind unsettled. Something was off, he could feel it. There were so many lies between them--protective shields--used to avoid really knowing each other. Deep down he suspected they didn't even like each other. Blair didn't know him at all, he would never let her that close. Only Tea knew him...
He sat on the sofa placing his head in his hands, still heavy and aching from last night's hangover. He thought of Tea, of her softness, her openness. He ached for her.
He got up and walked around the place looking all around him. He hated this house! It was so ornamental, so artificial. There was no warmth or comfort here only hard, plaster cornices, brittle gold-leaf, and cold marble floors. It felt like a tomb. It was his tomb.
"Todd Manning, R-I-M, rest in misery," he said laughing to himself, "but I guess that's what you get for not practicing safe sex."
He needed to escape from this place--to breath some clean air. He headed for the door, and walked out.
to be continued...
2001 Copyright by Trog
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