The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
AFFLICTION
BY TROG |
CHAPTER
14 |
CHAPTER 14
Tea had spent most of the afternoon with Carlotta. She had left her sound asleep, worn out from their little excursion around the hospital grounds, but Tea was determined to help her good friend through this devastating illness and getting her out of that hospital bed was important to her recovery.
Dr. Larry Woleck had run into them in the courtyard and was very taken with how well Carlotta looked. There was a certain spark in his eye as he sat with them and made idle chit chat. Tea knew that his children were all grown up and had moved away, and that he’d been divorced and alone for a long time. She could tell that Carlotta enjoyed his company and when she had teased her about it later Carlotta had blushed like a young girl. As she walked out of the hospital she smiled as she contemplated playing matchmaker for her dear friend and Dr. Larry.
As Tea headed toward the parking garage she thought about how close Carlotta had come to death and how fragile and precarious all their lives were. The thought of living without Todd in her life sent a cold shiver through her and yet, she realized she was giving up a good life for the promise of being with him. Again. When she was with him it all seemed so incredibly simple, their love for each other was so overwhelming, so convincing, that they couldn’t imagine being apart, but when she spent time away from him she was filled with doubts. Todd had so much emotional baggage and at times he was so needy and immature, even dangerous....and now he had two children with Blair. Aaron offered her a new life, a simple life with a clean slate and all the promise of an uncluttered future...and children she wouldn’t have to share with a vindictive ex-wife.
But...she loved Todd. It was more than love...it was something vital and essential to her very existence--a life-force that awakened her soul. Life without him was colorless and bloodless, like living in some shadow world, a life without senses, without viscera . She felt complete with him and could not bear the loneliness of being without him no matter who she was with. As much as she cared for Aaron he could never make her loneliness for Todd disappear, that deep, sorrowful pain , that soreness in her heart that only Todd could alleviate with his touch and his presence.
As she stepped off the curb and attempted to cross the road to the parking lot a sleek, black Jaguar with tinted windows sped directly in front of her and blocked her way. Tea approached the car angrily.
“HEY! What the hell is wrong with you...” she yelled, hitting the roof with her fist before the electric window suddenly slid smoothly into the door revealing a smiling Todd Manning behind the wheel. Tea leaned down, resting her arms on the door, her anger evaporating instantly at the sight of him.
“Did anyone ever tell you what a reckless driver you are, Todd Manning.”
“Yeah...I’m reckless...you like reckless. Get in,” he commanded arrogantly.
Tea got in quickly, hearing the smooth hissing of the electric window closing behind her head. The car had a black leather interior and along with the dark windows made them feel hidden and protected from the world around them, like some dark, silky cocoon surrounding them.
They looked at one another, still a bit awed by the others presence, astonished by their closeness, dazed by their mutual weakness for one another. Todd reached over for her and she fell into his arms breathlessly, collapsing into his embrace with a loud sigh as he moaned softly into her ear. They did not move for a few minutes, but rested in each others embrace as if exhausted from the sheer effort of being apart.
“I love you,” he whispered , his fingers bruising her skin with tightness of his grip. “I love you... I love you....” he continued whispering, his voice fading into her hair.
Tears sprang into Tea’s eyes as she struggled to control her emotions, but she was shaking against him as he continued to pour his heart out to her softly. He pulled away from her and wiped her face tenderly, smiling as he pushed her hair back.
“I missed those waterworks of yours, Delgado.”
Tea started laughing.
“You know how I cry when I’m happy.”
“Are you? Are you happy?” he said, with a bit of apprehension. “Do I still...make you happy?”
Tea stared at him and nodded slowly.
“You do. You’re the only one who makes me truly happy. Why, Todd...why you?”
Todd started laughing.
“I don’t know, Delgado....why you? Why do I feel like I stop breathing when you’re not in the room.”
Tea looked down at her wedding rings and played with them nervously, thinking of her husband and feeling guilty and ashamed at her happiness with Todd.
Todd sensed the conflict and confusion inside her, the turmoil he was causing in her life once again.
“You look tired, Tea,” he said, touching her face.
“Yeah, I am a little...there’s so much going on, you know? Carlotta...Aaron...us...”
“Yeah...I know. So let’s get away from Llanview for a few hours,” he said, shifting the car into gear and peeling away quickly, heading for the freeway.
*********************
It was late afternoon as Todd maneuvered his Jaguar slowly up the dirt road. The sun was weak as it filtered through the forest, bits of bright light bouncing off of tree trunks and leaves like sparks giving the
the wooded area a glittering effect. Strange thoughts filled his mind as he drove, about Ben’s warnings and Tea’s husband. Perhaps Ben had been mistaken, but Todd was filled with apprehension at the thought of Tea being in so much potential danger...and Ben was right, he couldn’t tell her and put her in further danger. The only way was to convince her to leave him immediately and for that to happen, Todd had to come clean with her about everything he’d done since his return. Lying is what he did with Blair and he didn’t want to deceive Tea...honesty meant everything to her and he loved that their were no secrets between them. He saw Vicki’s cabin in the distance as he pulled into the clearing in front of it and shut off the engine.
He looked over at Tea who had reclined her seat and fallen asleep. For a moment he just sat and watched her in her quiet repose, loving her with his eyes, but finally he reached out and caressed her face, needing to touch her...to connect with her.
Her eyes fluttered open and she rubbed them softly as a smile came slowly to her face at the sight of him. She looked around, realizing where they were and looked at Todd curiously.
“Querido, what are we doing here?”
Todd stared at her, suddenly becoming anxious and deadly serious.
“I...think we need...to talk about...some stuff,” he said mysteriously.
Tea started laughing.
“Since when does Todd Manning want to talk about anything.”
Tea’s smile faded when she noticed the look in Todd’s eyes, a painful and guilty look that she knew all too well. It was that mixture of anger and remorse that seemed to invade his eyes when he decided to make a confession to her. Getting out of the car quickly, she closed the door and leaned against it looking out through the trees and preparing herself for the inevitable storm that his words would bring. Looking up she saw dark clouds trailing across the sky moving into position. Yes, a storm was indeed coming as it invariably did when she got involved with Todd.
His door slammed shut as she heard his footsteps coming around the car and he came up beside her. He was a beautiful shadow in a black sweater and black jeans as he stood there staring at her. She began walking toward a trail just coming to life with fine green grass and leaves just beginning to bud as he followed beside her silently. A chilly breeze blew through their hair as they walked.
“Have you changed your mind, Todd? Do you want to stay with Blair...and your family? Is this what you brought me out here to tell me?” she asked without looking at him.
He grabbed her arm and turned her toward him.
“NO! NEVER!” he shouted, almost angrily. “I love you...YOU! You’re all I want”
She buried her face in his chest with relief as he crushed her against him, closing his eyes with the sudden contact of her body. Tea’s arms went up around his neck as he kissed her frantically, his lips bruising hers with a painful need, with a powerful intensity. Their mouths opened greedily and their tongues plowed desperately into one another’s needing sustenance, trying to relieve a hunger that was becoming unbearable to both of them, a hunger that needed to be fed.
Tea pulled away breathing heavily and leaned against him as they both tried desperately to maintain control over their starving bodies. Finally she looked at him, noticing his lips wet and swollen from kissing her and his eyes wild with a thwarted primal desire.
“You brought me here to tell me something, Todd. Is it going to affect us?”
Todd stared at her, then looked away with a hurt expression as he nodded slowly.
“Yeah...I think so,” he said.
“Tell me what it is,” she said quietly as they continued to walk up the path, bracing herself for his words.
The sky above them was getting darker as the powerful, gray clouds began to bully the weaker sun and block out the little light that peaked through the trees.
“It’s about me...something I did. I want you to know about it,” he said, keeping his eyes on the path in front of him. “Blair took off to Mexico near the end of her pregnancy...and I followed her there. We got into a fight...as usual...and she went into labor. I delivered the baby with the help of a Mexican woman--a mid-wife. Afterwards, Blair had passed out from exhaustion I guess, then...I..”
Tea stopped walking and turned toward him.
“You what, Todd?”
Todd looked into her beautiful inquiring eyes and took a deep breath before stepping away from her, leaning against a nearby tree with his back turned to her.
“ I thought the kid was Max’s. I wanted Blair and Starr and me to be a family so...I...I...paid the midwife to get rid of the kid. When Blair woke up...I told her the kid had died,” he blurted out quickly as if the speed of his declaration would make it less painful.
A light breeze rustled through the trees quietly announcing the impending storm but all Todd could hear was the silence coming from Tea. When he gathered the courage to turn around and face her she seemed relatively calm. She stood in the middle of the path, her arms dangling limply by her sides as the wind blew her hair gracefully around her face and shoulders. Her eyes stared into his but gradually the meaning of his words registered in them and her brow became furrowed as her mouth dropped open.
“I told her the kid was dead. Then we went back to Llanview, we told Starr her brother was dead and I asked Blair to marry me. On our wedding day she decided to come clean...she told me the kid was mine. So I took off, back to Mexico, found the kid and brought it back to her. Then we got married...and I...I got my family back. That’s what I did, Tea.”
Tea was still. In her eyes he saw a parade of dark emotions...horror, disgust, then anger as she turned around quickly and started running blindly into the woods, veering away from the path.
“TEA...wait!” shouted Todd as he began running after her.
“STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!” she shouted as she continued to run aimlessly as sharp branches whipped at her face and hair.
He rushed up quickly behind her and grabbed her around the waist to prevent her from running and hurting herself.
“Tea...wait. Let me explain,” he said as he continued to struggle with her.
Her fists pounded at him until she freed herself from his grasp and pushed him away violently.
“EXPLAIN? How are you ever going to explain this to me?” she yelled as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair. “I DON’T KNOW YOU! I don’t know who the hell you are anymore! The Todd Manning I used to know would never victimize an innocent child in that way... NEVER!”
“I wasn’t thinking...I...just wanted it gone! Tea listen to me...after you left me I just didn’t care about anything...”
“DON’T YOU DARE TRY AND BLAME ME FOR THIS!” she shouted, coming toward him as if she would hit him. “How could you do such a thing? For Blair? You did this to get Blair back all to yourself...so that you wouldn’t have to share her with Max?”
“NO! I thought that’s what I wanted...but it wasn’t!”
“OH, GOD...it never changes with you! I am such a fool to have fallen for your bullshit again!” she said, shaking her head in frustration. “I can’t do this again. I’m leaving!”
Tea started walking back toward the path but Todd grabbed her arm and yanked her back.
“NO...YOU‘RE NOT LEAVING! You’re not walking out on me again, Tea! If you want to be with me...than don’t fucking walk out on me when it gets too tough for you! Tell me what you think of me...tell me you hate what I did...BUT DON‘T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME,” he shouted at her as she wrenched her arm away from him.
“WANT TO BE WITH YOU? I DON‘T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I was an idiot to think that things would be different this time, but it’s the same damned thing every time. You reel me in and than do something that you know I can’t forgive...”
“I didn’t do this to YOU, Tea...it’s not for YOU to forgive! My son is the one who’ll have to forgive me someday...NOT YOU! I’m not asking for your forgiveness here!”
Tea walked right up to his face.
“Then why the hell would you tell me something like this? Why did you think I could handle knowing that the man I’m in love with, the man I was about to throw my whole life away on, is capable of committing such an atrocity!” yelled Tea as she buried her face in her hands.
“I didn’t want this lie between us,” he said quietly as the pitter-patter of raindrops suddenly filled the forest sounding like multitudinous grains of sand hitting a hard surface. “I’m sick of lying and being lied to...I don’t want that for us.”
Tea looked up at him, her tears mixing with the raindrops dropping on her devastated face. The rain fell with increasing speed and volume but they just stood there watching each other and getting soaked. As Tea pushed her wet hair away from her face she looked him in the eyes.
“And Blair forgave you for this?” she asked in astonishment.
“Yeah...she lied to me...I lied to her...I guess we called it even. That’s how it is with us...one big, happy family of liars.”
“You know, Todd, maybe she is the perfect woman for you,” said Tea in disgust as she began to walk away from him.
Todd watched her heading for the path, her image blurred by the heavy rain as it faded into the distance. He started running after her , but the path had turned slick and muddy with the sudden downpour and by the time he caught up with her she was yanking at the car door with angry frustration.
The rain was becoming torrential and the road was already partially flooded with water.
“Tea...come on...let’s go inside the cabin...the road is probably washed out,” he yelled to her above the loud thunder that was pounding in the distance.
“No! Give me your car keys...I want to go...I need to get away from you,” she yelled back.
Todd grabbed her arm and tried to pull her toward the cabin.
“Come on, Tea...don’t be stupid. There’s a huge storm coming,” he said as a bolt of lightning exploded loudly near by, startling both of them.
Tea pulled her arm away and started walking down the road.
“TEA! TEA!” Todd ran after her but than stopped. “Fine...but it’s getting dark and there are wolves and bears out there,” he yelled, hoping she’d stop.
Tea stopped and looked around. Her white sweater clung to her body and her boots were ankle deep in mud. When she turned she saw Todd’s murky image a few yards away from her through sheets of falling rain, completely drenched as water pelted his head and body relentlessly. As she walked reluctantly back toward him a flash of lightning lit up the sky above them and the thunder rumbled loudly overhead, echoing menacingly throughout the dark mountain.
As she neared him she threw him an angry look, but started walking toward the cabin as he followed closely behind her. Todd searched the porch for a key which was under a rock by the front door and opened it quickly as Tea walked through it silently.
to be continued...
2002 Copyright by Trog
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