She was smiling on the other end; I could hear it in her voice. "What's up girl?"
"I was getting ready to ask you the same question." I think we should get the obligatory pleasantries out of the way before delving into the shallow girl talk. God, how long had it been since I talked to her? It seemed to me that things were beginning to look up.
"Nothing. I just found out you were living here."
"Yeah, my roots kept pulling me back."
"Ah, damn those roots, stubborn bastards aren't they?"
"Speaking of which, we should get our hair done. And who, might I ask, was that sexy man who answered your phone?"
"Long story. Let's talk about it over dinner."
"Give me an hour and I'll pick you up at your hotel." We ended our conversation, both eager to reunite.
Rachel Gannon, I could hardly believe it. She seemed to drop off the face of the earth after she was released from Statesville, and somehow, she found her way to New York. It's been a long time since I was this excited to see someone. Now, the big question; what should I wear?
*****
I walked through the posh lobby in my high-heeled shoes and expensive coat; and though I looked like I belonged there, I felt so much like an outsider. I don't think the feeling of not belonging will ever go away completely, no matter how hard I try to disguise my dis-ease.
The elevator doors part and I step out, slightly out of breath. I'm claustrophobic, thus my need for an roomy apartment, roomy car, roomy everything. I am a little nervous in seeing her again, mainly because of the tension I know will be there during those first few moments.
I haven't forgiven her for the pain she inflicted on me so long ago. I have to calm myself down; just thinking about it gets me so worked up. I know she was scared and confused, but what kind of friend let's her best friend's husband hang out to dry? Granted, Todd could be, and still is a pain in the ass, but I can't help but wonder where our path would've led without the Georgie Phillips fiasco. Okay, I'm only getting more worked up about it, so I'm just going to have to chalk it up as fate and leave it at that.
She opens the door almost immediately. Wow, she looks great! Her hair is much shorter, and choppier, the way so many models have been theirs wearing lately. And she looked happy...no...content is a better word.
"Hey, girlfriend, are you going to say something or just stand there with your mouth hanging open?"
She is nervous, tugging at her sweater and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. "Hey," I reply, giving her the warmest hug I could.
"I can't wait to catch up," she said, "just let me grab my jacket. Oh, and come in for a second, I want you to meet a friend of mine."
"Okay, sure."
There is a discernable tension in the air, though I suspect it is coming from me. I follow her inside, anxious to meet this gentleman who makes Rachel, someone who is always so sad beneath the surface, seem so happy with her life.
"Tea, this is-"
"Hello, Jared." I make no attempt to hide my contempt of that bastard. This man and I go way back, back to a time I'd rather forget.
"Tea," he says, equally as dry.
Poor Rachel, she stands between us without a clue as to what is going on. She does know, as anyone would, that we despised each other. "I see you two know each other."
"We know each other all right," I say, not taking my eyes off him for a second.
She stands still for one more second, before making a move to get her coat. "You ready?"
"Yeah, let's go."
*****
We really don't have a plan for dinner, so we walk around until something catches both our eyes. We settle on a small American restaurant that has been written up as a "must dine" place. During our wait for a table, neither of us say anything; in fact, the walk over had been rather quiet.
"This is nice," Rachel says, once we were seated and settled.
"Yeah, I've been meaning to check it out, but, you know."
"Still the workaholic, I see."
I nod in response, taking in the scene around me. It is nice, quaint, the kind of place that had much history wrapped in the walls. I imagined it as a place of secret lovers, shielded from discovery by the dim light.
"You look good," she says to me, her eyes attached to the diamond bracelet I'd recently purchased.
"Thanks, so do you." Honestly, this is not going well. She's going to ask me about Jared and I'm sure she won't want to hear my thoughts. She'll ask me about Todd, and I don't want to talk about him. This really wasn't a good idea after all; too many things left unforgiven.
She opens her menu before I, pretending to peruse the selection. Every now and then, I watch her eyes peek over the top, finding my eyes, she quickly returns to the menu. "So many things. What are you having?"
I haven't been paying much attention myself, but the first thing my eyes fall upon is the salmon, so that's what I blurt out.
"Sounds good," she said, "I think I'll have the same."
There are sounds all around us and I'm trying to lose myself in them. There is the screaming child to our right and softly disagreeing couple to our left. There is Anita Baker softly singing "Funny Valentine" in the background. And there is our table, eerily quiet, considering the amount of time we'd been estranged.
"So, Tea, what made you come back here? I thought you'd been transformed into a small town girl?"
I smile politely, "Once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker; it's home."
We spend several more minutes not talking and I saw it was eating her alive, holding back the Jared questions. When we did speak again, we spoke about safe subjects; goals, ambitions and the always fun girl talk.
Rachel mostly picked at her food, as did I. It seems both of our appetites had been taken away by the tension between us, which we didn't dare speak of. She got that look in her eyes, that gossipy look that passed between us when we regressed to our teenage years. "So, who are you seeing?"
"Myself."
Her eyes widen in disbelief. I wonder if she shares the same belief as Todd; Tea Delgado is a slut. "You've got to be kidding me?!"
"Nope, I'm a single girl in every sense of the word."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Believe you me," uh oh, my head is beginning to spin. Let me try to cover. Try to cover. "I never thought I'd say those words either."
This is getting difficult. I'm not feeling well and it came on so suddenly. I'm not too worried, just annoyed that my body chooses to betray me at this particular moment.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing. Tell me about you. What's going on in your life and where have you been?" I'm trying to buy time. I'm thinking, while she talks, I can let my mind rest for a few minutes. That sometimes helps with the dizziness and nausea.
"Girl, where do I begin?"
I zone out, literally. I don't know exactly how to describe it. It's almost like my head is spinning off its axis and all I can do is watch from a distance. I have a queasiness that plagues my stomach, but it'll go away eventually. Then, there's the problem of my eyes; they hurt. I need darkness, so I close my eyes, squeezing them tightly. I can't hear Rachel any longer; I hear absolutely nothing.
I don't know how long I'd been out, but I can hear activity going on around me. I don't really want to open my eyes because the light, it's too bright.
"Tea, Tea," Rachel said very softly, as if she were trying to NOT wake me up. I laugh inwardly because I thought the object was the exact opposite.
I open my eyes, embarrassed by of all the attention. There are people all around, asking if I am okay and yelling at each other to get me some water. "I'm fine, I'm fine, just helped me up."
There is a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back down. I want that hand off of me and I want to get out of there. Rudely, I jerk away from the hand and insist how fine I am.
I am given my coat by a concerned lady who insists she could read my eyes and what I needed a little less work and a little more happiness. I listen to her while Rachel takes care of the bill.
"God, that took forever," I complain, as soon as Rachel and I were out of listening range of prying strangers.
"Wanna tell me what that was about back there?"
"That? It was nothing," I lie.
"Well, you and I are going back to your place to discuss that 'nothing.'"
