The next morning, Tea was still safely wrapped in Todd's arms, breathing with his same rhythm, sleeping more soundly than she had in weeks, maybe even months. She careened her neck to read the time on the digital display of his VCR. It was nearing noon, the sun was hanging high in the sky and the day was clear and perfect. She glanced up at him, reluctantly wiggling away from his arms.
He must have felt her stirring; it wasn't soon after that he opened his eyes to find her watching him intently. A smile immediately played across his face, causing her to smile in return.
"Good morning," she said, touching his goatee with her fingertips. "I can't believe we slept so long."
"Yeah, me either," he replied, standing to stretch his legs which were kept in an uncomfortable position all night. "You doin' okay?"
"Much better thanks to you." Tea started feeling a little self-conscious about her morning breath, talking under her breath. She always felt that way about being with a man but usually, she was out of bed, showered, changed and practically running out the door by the time they awoke. "I need to use your bathroom."
"Go ahead. You want somethin' to eat? I mean, there's probably not much here, but I could order something, or we could go out; doesn't matter to me."
"If you have some coffee, I'll take some of that." She disappeared down the hall into the bathroom while he made the coffee.
She peeked her head out of the bathroom and asked if he had any old sweats or something she could borrow for the day. She'd return them, she promised. He slipped his favorite pair of sweats and favorite t-shirt through the small crack she left in the door and went off to make some coffee.
She took her time in his shower. Let the water cascade down her body for as long as possible, standing in the tracks where water had tricked down his body hundreds of time. It was silly, she knew, to think if being in his shower as a turn on, but just about everything about him turned her on. After using his shower, his shampoo, soap and slipping into his clothing, she used his toothbrush. She had never done that before, figuring toothbrush sharing to be unhygienic or something. Maybe it was just that she never loved any of the other men and never really wanted to exchange anything with them.
He had a steaming cup of coffee waiting for her on the table in the living room. Even went so far as to add the exact amount of cream and sugar that she liked.
"Mmm, perfect," she said, after taking her first sip.
"So, what's the plan for today?"
The day, as beautiful as it was, would bring her great heartache. She had thought about it the entire time while she was in the shower; she and Del were going to have it out. He had no right to unilaterally decide what was and was not right for their family. Enrique had given up any rights he had to being considered part of the family when he betrayed her years ago. Not only that, he had avoided taking any sort of active role in his daughter's life for years. All of a sudden it was okay to include him just because Del decided it was time? What right did he have? And Tea was going to say exactly that when she saw him.
"Delgado?"
"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking."
"About?"
"Today. I am sick and damn tired of Del thinking he can control everything."
"He just wants what's best for you."
"I guess he and I have different ideas of what's best for me," she said bitterly. The coffee cup made a sound as she ran her finger along the rim. She liked that sound, it reminded her of when she was a child and she did the same thing to her mother's nearly empty coffee mug. Used it as an instrument since her family was too poor to buy her something real. She squinted her eyes and tilted her head, concentrating on its sounds.
"What are you doing?"
"When I was a kid, I used to play this game by myself. I've always loved music and I wanted to play something my whole life. We were so poor and to play instruments where I went to school, your parents had to put money toward your music education. Since we didn't have extra money, I had to make my own music. I used to take all of our glasses, only when our father was gone, and fill them with different levels of water."
He could practically see her with her nearly black eyes, shoulder length pigtails and determined attitude sitting in front of a bunch of glasses for hours, trying to perfect Fur Elise. If it hadn't been for the pain in that the memories brought back, he would have chuckled. "When I was a kid, I had all these toys, but I never wanted to play with them. Peter always kept guns and shit in a cabinet and I'd steal one, take my toys out back and shoot 'em. I'd get my ass beat for it later; I always got my ass kicked."
Tea watched as he diverted his eyes from actually looking at her. Didn't want to see the pity in her eyes and didn't want to see her sympathy. She reached over to him and clasped his hand within hers, "we are so alike."
"Yeah, well, whatever."
They drank the remainder of the coffee and Tea cleaned up his messy kitchen afterwards. Once or twice, she came close to calling her penthouse and chewing whoever answered the phone out for chasing her out of her own home. Then she realized it was silly; nobody chased her away. She made a conscious decision to walk away instead of face the problems head on.
With that in mind, she decided to go back into the lion's den so to speak and confront Del and Jose if they were still there. If they weren't, she would breathe a little easier, but still carry that resentment and anger on her back. Todd offered to go with her and she gladly accepted; he was her strength when she had none and she just might need him with her.
*****
Tea's Penthouse
Todd and Tea waited in the hallway while she pulled herself together. Her thoughts had to come together and she had to be calm when she saw them. It was part of her "never let 'em see you sweat" mentality; she was a fighter, hiding her fear just before the championship fight.
"Maybe this isn't the right time. You wanna go somewhere else and do…whatever?" Todd's anxiety increased right along with hers. Their beats practically rammed into each other with their constant pounding. Weird how that worked; he shared her anxiety and suffered from the same symptoms as she.
"I have to do this now." She took a deep breath and held it, letting it go as she inserted the key into her lock. Did the same thing when she unlocked the two deadbolts that kept her safe each night. "Here goes nothing," she said under hear breath.
Just as she'd suspected, Del was sitting in the living room, waiting for her. He had maneuvered the couch, probably all by himself, so that it faced the door and the first thing she'd feel was his anger. Todd even wanted to step back, swearing to himself that he saw steam coming from his ears.
Del's eyes moved rapidly from Todd to Tea and back again. Couldn't believe she'd fallen for him yet again. AND she was wearing HIS clothes. Burned him even deeper; seeing her with the man who had humiliated her time and time again. Kept his cool though, kept his body glued to the couch and his hands had not yet formed a fist.
"Figured you'd be waiting up for me," Tea spat bitterly. She held her smile in, sensing that seeing her with Todd was eating Del alive.
"Yeah, somebody's gotta watch out for you seeing as how you do such a lousy job of it."
Todd hung back, even though he wanted to kill Del for that last remark. What stopped him, aside from not wanting Tea to have to deal with his anger as well as her own, was the simple fact that Del's remark was similar to many comments he made to her while they were married. Never really heard his comments or stopped to think about what they would do to her. Hearing them come from someone else's mark cut him to the core. Still, he said nothing and did nothing.
"I think I've done pretty good, considering how my brothers enjoy undermining or trying to undermine my every decision and every wish. You're very good at that." Tea stood across the room with her arms crossed over her chest. That was her pissed position, along with the uncanny ability to darken her eyes to a shade just shy of black.
"I guess I know whose bed you were in last night. Not much has changed, has it?" Instantly he regretted his words. It was one of those things he couldn't control, where the words came out before he could stop them from rolling off his tongue. He was cruel in his bluntness with her at times. It was one of those times when he didn't need to be blunt at all; he needed to listen.
She came back quickly though; didn't miss a single beat. "I guess not. You're still trying to control my life after all these years. What gives you the right, huh?"
Todd, for his part, eased his way out of the room. He was the quiet intruder that didn't belong. The boyfriend that was only loved by the girl and despised by the father, or in Del's case, the father figure. He moved like the sneaky black cat, quickly and silently. Snuck down the hall, eyeing Roseanne's room more than once, debating on whether he should see if she needed to talk.
Tea didn't notice; her eyes were trained on her brother, unflinching at his silent judgment of her. She sort of smirked at him, daring him to say more. He didn't, wouldn't, even he knew when not to push her.
He growled and walked over to her window to the very spot where he saw her standing plenty of times. "Enrique said if you don't want him around here, he won't come around."
"Yeah, well, I guess the meaning of the words, 'get the fuck out eluded him last night."
"Baby, don't you think it's time to give up that grudge? I mean, seriously, we're all we've got."
She got dead into his face and spat, "you may not have anyone or anything, but don't presume to think that the rest of us are as alone as you. As a matter of fact, don't presume anything about me anymore!"
A direct hit to the heart. She knew what got to him, just as he knew what got to her. Out of all of him, now that she had Todd, he was the loneliest, the most pathetic. Turned away from her to hide the tears that had begun to form in his eyes. Had she not been so angry, she would have noticed and would have tried to take the words back immediately.
"You know what pisses me off?" she said, sending the dead horse to its second grave, "you KNOW what he did to me and yet you brought him here anyway."
Todd, who had been in the hall, made himself invisible and strained his ears to hear the conversation. Thinking he would learn something about what made Tea tick, he listened intently. This was the part of herself that she wouldn't tell, he assumed, the part that haunted her in her worst nightmares.
"Tea, that was a long time ago and he's so sorry for that-"
"Bullshit. I can't believe you're with the FBI and you can't see through his damn lies."
"You think I wasn't pissed at him for years after what he did to you? You think I didn't have to work through some shit before I could even say his name out loud? For god's sake-"
"For god's sake, he cost me MY CHILD Del. And you bring him to my place, the one place on earth where I'm supposed to feel safe and you bring him inside MY walls and say I should forgive him?" Her face was red with the heat of her anger and at the same time, she wanted to crumble into a pile of tears and let it all go.
The sound of the doorbell sounded loudly, causing them both to jump. Tea stalked toward the menacing sound, wondering who would have the audacity to interrupt her verbal "roll." She smirked and nodded her head at the older brother that stood on the other side. It figured he would show up, but it didn't bother her in the least. Anger had taken over; her soft heart was nowhere to be found.
Todd almost peeled himself away from the wall, but his body wouldn't move. There was something about Tea that she would never reveal and by hiding, he might find out her big secret. On guard and ready to attack if needed, his ears perked up and he braced himself for the secrets that might be revealed.
Enirque stepped around the cross-armed Tea, plopped down on the couch and made himself comfortable. The way he acted, an outsider would have thought he owned the place. Didn't phase Tea one bit. She was aware of his little games of power and for once, her thoughts were clear enough to where knew exactly how to fight back.
She took a deep breath and became Angela Bassett as Tina Turner and Angela as Bernadine in "Waiting to Exhale." She drew upon their strength and having just seen both movies during one of her more "I am woman, hear me roar" moment. Neither Enrique nor Del had a BMW that she could set fire to, like Bernadine, but she had the hips and switched them all the way across the room. Looked from one brother to the other, one looking like he hadn't a care in the world and the other as if he carried the world's weight. She could have smacked them both silly and was tempted to do just that. But she didn't.
"Sit down next to your brother, Del," she demanded, knowing she was the one in control.
Del looked into her black eyes, not hesitating to do as she said. Never had he seen her so angry, it was frightening. She was the quiet bomb, becoming more and more ticked off by the minute. He had some major making up to do to her after this.
"Now," she began, pacing the width of the room, "I want you to know some things-"
"Tea-" Del began but she wagged her finger and shook her head.
"No," she said, "it's my turn. I do not appreciate the position that you both have put me in. And Enrique, I don't like you at all. Make no mistake. The only reason I didn't throw your ass out of here last night is because your daughter was in this penthouse, you bastard."
"You'd think with your high-priced education, you'd think of a better word than 'bastard,'" Enrique taunted.
"I'm speaking in a manner that I think you'd understand. Do I have to speak more slowly or less intelligently for you?"
Enrique grinned, not taking her seriously, which was in fact, a serious mistake. She shot him a look, the look and the grin on his face vanished within seconds. It was a side of her that he'd never seen. She wasn't the timid child that he used to frighten on a daily basis. She was his worst nightmare; a woman with the power and strength that he'd only dreamed off.
Todd had to stifle a smile when he saw Tea put the fear onto that man who thought he was so soft. He'd probably worn that same look on more than one occasion when he stepped over to her bad side. The only difference was that he knew the soft Tea, kind Tea, hurt Tea that no one else saw. He loved her more for her tough veneer.
"This is my life boys, and I decide who I will and will not have in it. Del, it's not up to you to put this damned broken family back together. You know that saying, 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it?' Sometimes, the exact opposite is true; if it's broke, it's meant to stay broken. I don't think you understand what this," she peered at Enrique, searching for the right word, "this sub-human did to me."
Del stood up, stood in front of Tea and looked down upon her. Stood close enough to where he had to step away from the heat emitting from her body. "Listen, baby, I did what I thought was best. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know that," she said calmly, rubbing her temples, "but you should have asked me instead of assuming that time could heal these wounds. You of all people know how he destroyed my life. You were there, Del; I don't understand how you can sit back and try to put us back together when he caused me to lose my child." Tea had never before confronted Enrique about the loss of her child. At first, it was because she was too distraught to mention it, then it was because she was ashamed, later it was because she wanted to forget it. There was only one problem; the pain wouldn't let go of her.
Everyone became hushed at the same moment, holding their breaths and waiting for what came next. Todd was anxious to hear the story and kill Jose if it came down to it. Del waited for her to explode. Enrique just waited, not caring what she had to say.
By that time, Roseanne had come out of her bedroom and stood behind Todd in the hallway. She too wanted to hear what came next. She was pulled out of her bedroom by something she couldn't explain and instead of making her presence known; she waited to hear what came next. She was just as quiet as Todd, sneaking the same as he, drawing not even the attention of his keen hearing.
"And don't you dare say you didn't know it would come to that. You fucking heard him say to me over and over again that if my fast ass brought a bastard child into his house, then he would be the shit out of me. Was the baby my shit? 'Cause he sure as hell beat it out of me." Her eyes filled with tears, but not one drop fell. "And you sat back and watched without trying to help me. And Enrique, I remember hearing you laughing at me," she laughed nervously as she said it. "You were enjoying it and now, you PRETEND to want to patch things up? Kiss my ass, you bastard! Kiss my fucking ass!"
Del reached up to his face and wiped away the tears that had started to trail down the side of his face. No one had bothered to tell him that part of the story. Tea hadn't even bothered, keeping mum about the whole thing. She might say a thing here or a thing there, but not much. He had to piece together most of it, putting his own "Enrique couldn't possibly be that cruel to his sister" spin on things. Guilt boiled over into the form of tears. He shook his head saying over and over that he didn't know.
Todd was almost out in the open when Roseanne startled him by grabbing him from behind. "Don't," she said, continuing to pull him backwards.
"Oh come on Del, you know the Drama Queen. Isn't that what we used to call her when she was a kid? She'd always run to Mami and claim we did this and that to her. You know how she is."
"Get out of here, man. I got nothin' to say to you."
"What? You gonna let her come between brothers? You're the main one talking about family and how we need to stick together and shit. You don't believe your own sermons anymore?"
"I'm telling you one more time to get the hell out. Next time, I say it, I will forcibly remove you from these premises."
"Remove me from these premises?" Enrique mocked, standing up and laughing in Del's face. "Are you getting all official on me Mr. Law Enforcement Agent? Look at you? The bitch is a lawyer and you're a damn cop. I guess that makes me the smooth criminal huh?" When no one said anything and all eyes seemed to be on him, he continued, "I'm not leaving here until I see my daughter."
Roseanne stepped from the darkness in the hallway and showed her face. "You see me, now you can leave." Tea turned to her in shock, hearing the sheer strength and power in her voice. She knew that Roseanne was pretending to be strong and inside, she was the exact opposite.
"Rose, my beautiful Rose-"
"Tea was right about you all along. How could you do that daddy?"
"Rosie, don't do this," he said, but he really didn't care. He was too pissed to care about Roseanne or Tea or Del or any of them. They had all turned against him, especially his daughter. All those years she called, begging and crying for him to come and see her, and when he does, she takes someone else's side. She didn't have to worry about seeing him again, none of them did. He looked at all of the faces in the room; all of the eyes that were bearing into him and realized that it was done. He was defeated, out numbered and that they were really the family, he was the outside. "Fuck all of you," he said, walking to the door, opening it, stepping through and slamming it behind him.
