Tea stood off in a corner, nibbling at her fingernails as Marty examined Roseanne. Roseanne had no idea what was going through Tea's head, nor did she particularly care. What mattered to her was her ice-cold body with her burning, sweating forehead. Nobody noticed how quiet Tea was; it was as if she didn't exist, melted into the walls and became part of the decorations.

When Marty finished her examination, she turned to see Tea appearing visibly distraught. She hadn't noticed earlier how dressed up she was, how flawless her skin looked, nor did she notice the tears that seemed to teeter on the rim of her eyes. "She's going to be fine. Just give her aspirin to bring her fever back down and she'll be just fine," Marty said, touching Tea on her shoulder.

"Okay. Is there anything else you need to do or is that it?" Tea smiled through clenched teeth, trying her hardest to expedite Marty's departure. She turned her body, put an arm around Marty and steered her toward the front door. She breathed a little easier assuming that Marty would be on her way.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay."

"I hope I'm not prying but when I saw you at the hospital and the subject of your ex-husband came up, you seemed rather sad. I hope you're not wasting too many tears on him. You deserve so much better."

Tea could feel her blood pressure rising and her head began to spin. Everybody had something to say about him, everybody, but they didn't know him. Then she felt guilty for thinking such thoughts about Marty. She had a reason to hate him. He stripped her of everything, but what about him? What about what was stolen from him?

"I know it's none of my business," Marty began, making her way over to the couch and sitting down, "but I've wanted to have this conversation with you from the first moment you became involved with him. Let me tell you something about Todd Manning, he's not the person you want to believe he is. Todd is cold, cruel, malicious."

Tea took a deep breath, held it for five seconds and released it. "I know about what he did to you-"

"'What he did to me. That's what it's referred to as now? That thing he did? The incident? The misjudgment? The mistake?"

"Marty, I-"

"Didn't mean it? No, I know you didn't. Tea, you don't know him like I know him." Marty looked hard at Tea, searching her eyes to see if anything was getting through. It wasn't her intention to have this conversation with anyone, let alone Tea, but delving deep into her memories was the only way to get through to her. She had kept up with Todd's life since she left Llanview. She knew all about the "Sun" Publisher who was on top of the world with his new family. Damn it, it just wasn't fair, she thought. Todd didn't deserve happiness, not after raping her, stalking Nora and killing countless others, accidentally or not. He deserved nothing but heartache, yet standing across the room was someone who obviously loved him very much. "You don't know the part of him that stuffed a red sweatband down my throat and held my hands high above my hand. You don't know that part of him that fucking ripped my shirt from my body and unfastened his pants with one hand while holding me down with the other. 'Marty, you sure know how to party,' you don't know about that. You don't know about the part of him that fucking ripped me when he shoved himself inside of me, do you? You don't know about the part of him that taunted me and egged those other guys on while he stood on the side. Do you know the instigator? The gang leader? Do you know the real Todd Manning?"

Tears flowed down the side of Tea's face in a black streak. She knew nothing of those things that were painted so vividly by Marty. Was able to detach herself from the court documents; the words, in their two dimensional form had no impact. That wasn't the Todd she knew. He had changed, hadn't he?

"Am I getting through to you Tea? That man is not worthy your love, he's not worthy of anybody's love…he's a monster." Marty was practically yelling.

Tea shook her head, muttering words like, "no," "he's not like that," or "you don't know him the way that I know him." She almost laughed as those last sick, twisted words left her lips. She didn't know Todd in that way, probably never would. Was knowing him sexually, when he was in his prime and before the rape, some sort of deeper knowledge of the man within? Did she know him better than Tea? What would've happened if the Spring Fling had never occurred? Tea guiltily thought about those things, a little jealous because Marty knew him before he was so broken and closed off. And that jealousy manifested itself in a stream of bitter sentences. "How in the hell can you say he's not worthy of my love? You don't know anything about him; you don't know him the way I know him. Contrary to your condescending tone, I know everything about Todd and you know what? That doesn't make any difference to me. All I know is how he is when we're together, and granted, he's not perfect, but he's a hell of a lot better than most men out there. Where the fuck do you get off judging us? And make no mistake, but judging him you are judging us. Listen," she walked closer to Marty, clasping her hands together and shaking them through the air as she tried to get her point across, "I am so sorry about the things he did to you, but there were awful things that were done to him and that's one of the reasons why he is the way he is."

"I'm not trying to judge you, I want to help you. I want you to understand the kind of man you apparently still love. Tea, what he did nearly destroyed me. It's fair to say that his actions killed a large part of me and that's something I can never get back. He took me…he held me down…he fucked me over and over again but he didn't stop there. He taunted me…he almost did it again and HE DID NOT CARE! I lived in fear of my life; I had no one on my side. He was the big shot football player and I was 'Marty the Party Girl.' You know what gets me the most? After serving a little bit of time in prison, he was released and he got his life back. Inherited millions, got married, had a child…what about me? He comes out smelling like a rose every single time and people like me are forgotten about. I mean, look at you. You're beautiful, smart, successful and you are in love with him. Tell me, how does that work?"

Tea sank into the couch, refusing to start crying again, especially after the initial stream of tears ceased. She said nothing, nothing at all. She even stopped breathing momentarily. It hurt so badly she thought she would fall over and die, right then and there. The emotion, that's what was missing from the written words in the court documents. What did being in love with someone like him say about her? Was everyone right when they said she was a crazy bitch during her bouts of depression and could they cite her love for Todd as the perfect example of her craziness?

"Tea, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm really not. I want you to be happy-"

"Todd is the only man that has ever made me happy," she sniffled. "You think you're doing me some sort of favor? Well, you're not."

"I'm having the conversation with you that I wish someone had with me before I went out with Mr. Football Superstar. Maybe if they did, none of this would have happened."

"Don't you think everyone deserves a second chance? Todd has paid for his crimes, over and over again he has paid for them, when does it all end?"

Marty had almost started crying too. She hadn't spoken about the rape in years, had no reason to. But when she saw Tea at the hospital and that look of misery crossed her face for a milli-second, she knew this conversation was something they had to have. She was breaking Tea's heart; saw it crumbling with each detailed description. She couldn't answer Tea's question, afraid to tell her that it would never end...it shouldn't end. What Todd had done should condemn him to the same kind of hell where she lived, one that had no ending either. "I've paid too Tea, why can't you remember that? As a woman-"

Tea popped off the couch in a flash, her anger overtaking her. "As a woman what? As a woman I should automatically condemn a person for something they did before they even met me? As a woman, I should never forgive anyone for their sins? As a woman, I should live in pre-judgment of someone else? As a woman, a minority woman, the last thing I should be doing is judging a book by its cover."

Marty remained calm, her tears had never fallen, dried up before they could overflow the rim of her eyes. Calmly she spoke, having so much time to deal with her inner demons. "Tea, listen to me. Todd Manning is not who you think he is. He lies, he cheats; he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. Trust me on that one. Above all, he is a cold, unfeeling bastard that will only suck the life out of you. Or has he already done that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I remember when I first met you. You were so full of life, a little distant, but you were so energetic, smart, all of those things that I admired in women and I said you were going to go far in this town. And Rachel adored you and I adored Rachel, so I figured somewhere inside there was a heart. When you married Todd, I knew that was going to be trouble. I saw the way he listened to you the way he would no one else. I had hoped you would come to your senses and get out before you fell and you didn't. You risked your life for his child, and right after that, my husband was shot," she braced herself for the lie she was getting ready to tell, "and killed because of Todd. He ruined my life twice, and he seems to have done the same to you."

Tea began to pace across the hard wood floor. She paced a trail, back and forth in front of Marty. It was too much; all the talk was getting to her. Was she disillusioned at first because of the money and later because of the love? Damn you Marty Saybrook. She wished Todd were there to hold her and to make her believe that he wasn't that man that was described to her. "Marty, you don't know him," Tea said without much conviction.

"I know him well enough. I know what he did to me, that's all I need to know. Tea, I'm not telling you these things to hurt you."

"Then why tell me at all Marty if not to hurt me? You know what, I'm not having this conversation anymore. I appreciate you coming by to treat my niece, but I think it's time you go."

Marty stood up, towering over Tea who suddenly felt inferior. "I'm sorry. I know I really overstepped my boundaries. Tell Roseanne to rest, not to overdue it and get her prescription filled." Tea nodded and averted Marty's gaze. "May I use your bathroom?"

"Yes. Down the hall and make a left."

Tea watched as Marty walked away form her. Everything had gone so well up until that point, she and Todd were going to start over; things were getting back on track. And then this happened. Marty told her story and now she wondered how could she love a person who was so cruel. She stood over by the window, putting all of her weight against the cool surface. She would have no problem if the glass decided to give away and she fell from her penthouse apartment. She wouldn't even try to fly; she'd just sink to the ground and die.

Why? Why? Why? Why now when we were so close? I could feel us getting so close and now this shit happened. God damn it! Why do I get my chance, huh?

There were no answers, not even the slightest sign that she was even being heard. She banged her head against the glass, just hard enough to make the slightest of sounds.

Out into the overcast and darkening sky she looked, searching for something, a sign that there was indeed someone listening to her endless prayers. Only the clouds rolled by, mocking her with their motion when all she could stand was still. Frozen in a spot, lost in a thought, daydreaming of the normal life she so desperately wanted. It would never be that way for her, normalcy wasn't part of her makeup.

A knock on the door. She heard it; possibly it was the sound to snap her out of her dreadful thoughts. Thoughts that consisted of flying out into the universe to join those rolling clouds in motion. The knock was her leash, pulling her back from the edge of the abyss of darkness. She turned around in slow motion, knowing that she would never have the courage, or maybe she had too much courage to end her life.

The knocking persisted and she, dazed, walked over to the sound. She wrapped her fingers around the golden brass doorknob, without looking through the peephole, she opened it.

The smile on his face disappeared as soon as he saw her. He could see it in her eyes, she was afraid of him. He reached out to her anyway, tried to pull her to him but she took a step backwards.

"Delgado, what's wrong? What did I do?" His face crumbled, partially out of pain, partially out of anger and partially out of complex confusion.

"Todd, you need to go. I can't explain it right now but," she couldn't finish, her voice broke. She needed him to leave before he saw Marty and all hell broke lose. The look on his face where just moments before, she could only see love for her, was enough to finish breaking what was left of her heart.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is, tell me and I'll fix it...yeah, I'll fix it. You don't have to worry about anything. Is it Roseanne? Did something happen to her?" He asked the questions; secretly hoping the answer to one or both of them was "yes." That was better than the alternative of hearing her say she made a mistake and they weren't going to work things out.

She shook her head and mouthed the word "no." "Todd, please, just trust me."

That's when he looked over the top of her head and saw there was another person in the penthouse. The figure was much too tall to be Roseanne and as she came closer, he began to recognize the curly locks. As she came closer still, he recognized the eyes and the lips and the nose. "Oh…my…God," he gasped.

Tea spoke up, horror written all over her face. "Todd, it's not what it looks like. I didn't know she was coming. She's a doctor in the city and she treated Roseanne after the miscarriage and Roseanne called her today and asked her to meet her here because she wasn't feeling well and Marty came to check on her and-"

"Oh…my…God," he said again, his eyes darting from Tea to Marty and to Tea again.

"Todd, say something to me please," Tea begged, trying to get Todd to focus on her, trying to hold it together for him.

"I see we meet again, Todd Manning. I see you're still up to your charming, manipulative ways," Marty said, not to be cruel, but to be honest. She was tired of not speaking her mind to him and she finally had a chance to get it all out in the open.

"Marty, just let it go-" Tea begun.

"Ha, let it go? Tea, you have obviously never been raped, otherwise, you'd know there's no such thing as letting go." She stared at Todd with a look of such deep contempt and hatred; it caused a bone tingling chill to go through his entire body.

"Not in front of Tea, okay Marty. You hate me and that's fine, but please don't do this in front of her."

"I seem to remember saying please to you and you didn't respect my wishes. I remember saying please don't do this or that Todd. Please let me go, Todd. Please don't hurt me Todd. Please leave Patrick out of this, Todd. Please stop this vendetta, Todd. And you didn't. You have ruined my life, you have ruined me and now you want me to please not do this in front of Tea? You have a lot of fucking nerve."

He only knew of one way to escape, even though Tea had probably heard everything. That would explain her reaction to him; the fear that swirled around in her eyes. He looked at Tea and sadly mumbled, "I'm so sorry," reached for the door behind him and backed out into the hallway.

He made it all the way to the elevator and the doors had just started to close when that pale hand stopped them from closing completely.

To Be Continued...

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