He fell into her arms, weighing next to nothing. It was the thing that made for great drama…all of a sudden the antagonist…in the middle of a tirade, rant, rave, speech…falls slowly into the embrace of their would be lover. The lover catches them, as they always had…their anger drifting to some far off place. Love, being the only thing to remain.

Tea felt his pulse…strong as ever. With a physical strength that people never would have guessed she possessed, held him up…alone. Nobody noticed how he rested limply on her shoulders. "Todd? Todd? You have got to wake up," she whispered into his ear.

He could hear her and feel her…sense her fear. It would have been the perfect opportunity to take advantage of. Pretend to be sicker than he really was, appeal to her "maternal" instincts. The thing with Tea was that no matter how tough she appeared, inside she was a softy. For people she loved anyway. But, she could tell when he was bullshitting her, with the exception of the whole DID fiasco. Fuck it; I'll just take my chances with the truth.

He let her hold him for a few more seconds. Memorizing her scent and feel for future reference. Heaven. It was the closest he would ever come…heaven in her arms.

There was a subtle change in the tension of his back muscles. They became tighter. She could feel him pulling away from her arms. Just a few more seconds. Stay just a little bit longer. He moved farther and farther away from her, until he could look her straight in the eyes.

"What's wrong with you, Todd? What happened?" Genuinely concerned, she reached to feel his clammy forehead. He was burning up with fever. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" His words were slurred, coming out like a record on the wrong speed. The ground beneath him was moving, he would swear to it. So was the rest of the room for that matter. Swimming on dry land. Don't let me drown, Tea.

Tea held his hand, for his comfort as well as hers. Many days and many nights she dreamed of feeling his skin entwined with hers. Not just sexually, but the little touches that people who are truly intimate share. Such as handholding. Little things. Just the little things.

Grant watched her walk from the dance floor, holding Todd's hand. He watched her go to his table, get his coat and pay his tab. He watched her approach him.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to go." As she talked, she retrieved her coat, gloves, scarf…everything she went in with. Todd leaned against the bar, still very weak.

"Why? What's going on?" Grant looked from Todd to Tea and back again. It was incomprehensible that she could be leaving with another guy. He bought her drinks all night long, talked to her, danced with her. Even got her drunk. As she prepared to leave, he noticed how quickly she had sobered, and how her voice took on a very businesslike tone.

"Nothing. I just need to go. Thank you for everything tonight. I really had a good time."

"Yeah. Um, here's my card in case you want to get together again…just the two of us."

"Thanks." She stuffed it into her pocket. "You ready?" She asked Todd.

*****

Tea's Penthouse

Tea never thought anything could keep Todd down…not for long anyway. He was invincible…a cat with more than nine lives. Whatever it was that was ailing him took hold and was not letting go.

It was an awful dream. The greatest love she'd known…would ever know…shoving his way back into her life. At once flattering and disconcerting…most of all…heartbreaking. She couldn't turn him away, not in his condition…not in her condition. A little time with him, taking care of him couldn't hurt a thing. When he was better, he could limp away in his brokenness, and get back to whatever life it was that he lead. He needed her, and the love that they shared kept pulling her toward him. Let it take you…flow with it. Go with the tide.

Stepping into her apartment, was stepping into her mind. He took in the entire scene, memories for the picture book he kept in his head. The dark décor reflected her dark mood. The CD collection consisting mostly of blues and jazz was indicative of her soul-reaching sadness. The book on her coffee table, a love story, belonged to a heartbroken woman. To him, it was all evidence as to how much he hurt her. She had crossed the threshold to the dark side…ticket courtesy of Todd Manning.

A casual observer would have attributed her décor to her being a contemporary woman. Her CD collection to being that of a connoisseur of "soulful music." The book belonged to a hopeless romantic. To a casual observer.

"You need to lay down."

"Huh? What?"

"Follow me." She could have taken him to one of the other bedrooms, but she took him to hers. Turned down her covers for him. Put her pillow under his head…not the extra one that was never slept on. She wanted his scent imbedded in her sheets.

"Thanks." It was too comfortable. He could have stayed in her bedroom, in her bed, forever. It was so warm, homey, just where he belonged. Once again, she was his savior.

"I'm going to get a cold cloth. Do you need anything else?" She struggled to keep her voice very even, careful not to let her emotions get the better of her.

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay. Be right back."

*****

Tea's Kitchen

In the kitchen, she had time to think things out. It appeared that life had been just as cruel to him as it had been to her. It took all the willpower she possessed to not cradle him in her arms, rub his back, and hold him until he recovered fully until she deemed him cured. Which could have been forever.

Is this another one of your games, huh? Or shall I say a "test?" You're notorious for "testing" us, aren't you? Are you dangling the proverbial carrot in front of my face to see if I will bite…or should I say the proverbial "apple?" You won't win…I am strong.

Above the sound of water, she heard some movement in her bedroom. It didn't come as a surprise; Todd could never sit still for too long. He must have been too "comfortable" and "cozy." She turned off the water and just listened to his footsteps. Back and forth, zigzag pattern, quick and smooth. Long strides. She remembered so much from their time together, every moment they spent together, the good and the bad. He moved so quickly from one place to the next, hyper and manic. Sometimes, he would startle her by his sudden surges of energy and bursts of movement. Made her nervous back then…now, they just made her glad that they occupied the same physical space.

His movements changed, slowed…followed by nothing. Worrier, she thought. It was gnawing at her, a premonition. Their "psychic" connection was communicating with her. "Go to him," it said. "He needs you," it whispered.

Blindly, she followed her instincts, easing her body down the hallway. Listening. Waiting. Worrying. She was almost afraid of what she would find lying in her bed, or on the floor next to it. She kept thinking that this was God's last laugh…killing him on her bedroom floor.

In the distance, she heard him wrenching. It was coming from her bathroom. It hurt to hear him suffering so, coughing, breathing hard, vomiting…and coughing some more. She ran to him, finding him on his knees, leaning over the toilet.

"I'm so sorry Tea," he said in a raspy voice. As he opened his mouth to speak, he struggled to vomit again. "I-"

"Shh." With a dripping wet cloth in her hand, she walked over to him, stepping over his "mess." "It's okay." She wiped his face with the cloth, gently, lovingly. Helping him to his feet with one hand, and trying to flush the toilet with the other, she noticed the blood mixed in with his vomit. Not wanting to scare him, she flushed and helped him back to the bed.

"Thanks." Though tired, he started to feel better. A lot better. Had to have something to do with her healing hands. If he went to sleep, he was confident that the only dreams he would have were happy dreams of his family…Tea and Starr.

"You're welcome. I think maybe we should go to the hospital, Todd. I don't know what's wrong with you but-"

"No, it's okay. I…I get like this sometimes. I'll be okay…you'll see." What started out as a very bad night was looking up. Not the sick part…the not being alone part. It had been so long since he last had some sort of welcome human contact…probably since he left Llanview. After all this time, he had somebody willing to waste their time on him…Tea no less. It was "pity" time…but time nonetheless. At this rate, he'd take whatever he could get.

"Why?"

"I have ulcers, no biggie." He rolled onto his side so he could study her. She was right there, in bed with him, wiping his forehead with the wet cloth.

"No biggie? Oh Todd, you have got to take care of yourself." It wasn't a request...it was a demand. If anything had happened to him, and she knew about it, it would kill what was left of her. The past year was hell on earth. She didn't know whether he was dead or alive, but suspected that she would "feel" something if he was. Her "connection" with him would call to her.

"Why?" I don't want to "take care of myself." There's no reason if you're not in my life. God, you are so beautiful.

"Why?" Because you are worth it. Because you are somebody. Because you are needed and loved. "Your daughter won't have a father if anything happens to you."

"Starr is better off without me."

"No. I know for a fact that she misses you and loves you very much." His wedding band caught the light, casting a dancing shadow on the wall. She was taken off guard by how tightly he clung to the past. "Um, listen, you need to get some sleep. We'll talk about your medical condition in the morning."

*****

All night, she lay in bed next to him, watching him sleep. There was a peacefulness that she had never seen before. A combination of the alcohol and his illness, she was sure. He looked so sexy lying in her bed, like he belonged there all along.

She could not make herself fall asleep, not with him being so sick and needing her so much. No one had needed her in a long time…it felt good. She had to look at the situation realistically, this was temporary. In the morning, he would be better and go home to whatever life he was leading.

He was the one that got off easy. There might be some love in his heart for her, but it could never match what she felt in her heart. She was so confused. Any other woman, a woman with sense, would have left his ass at the bar…let him suffer. She just wasn't wired that way when it came to him. All sense flew out the window…her heart took over.

For months she had carefully cultivated this "I don't give a fuck about anything" image. And bang, just like that…he shot it all to hell. Just like before, he shattered that image. Made her care. Melted the ice around her heart. Made her soft.

Life is so damned confusing. I work my ass off to move past this…this…relationship…and here you are again. Who am I kidding? My pathetic daily homage's to you…my…"memory checks." Why can't I just be rid of you once and for all?

I didn't ask for any of this. I did want money…I guess that's what they mean when they say, "be careful what you wish for." I got my money but paid with my soul. Looking at you right now…shit…I have got to be sensible. We are over. We are over. Just keep repeating that.

The longer she lay next to him and reveled in his peacefulness, the more she felt her resolve dissolving. Never mind the mantra, it didn't help a bit. It only served as an annoyance. It would have been simple to steal a touch, graze his skin with her fingertips, but if she started, she would not be able to stop. One touch couldn't possibly hurt. Her finger hovered over his hand, the one with the ring; she came so close to touching it. A hair away…yet she denied herself the luxury of his contact. Tempt me…I will not falter.

The temptation was too great; she had to get away if she was going to stay strong. She got out of bed, removed herself from the "apple orchard." She retrieved a piece of lingerie. Nothing to sexy, long, satin pants and a matching shirt. Her dress slid off her body, unselfconscious, oblivious to Todd's open eyes watching her.

Just in time, Todd thought. She had stripped for him before, lay everything on the line for him, and he blew it. Threw her out. Broke his own heart in the process, but he would have done anything to protect her from "Monster Manning." He lay in bed helpless, yearning for her as she left the room…again.

She quietly sought solace in the living room. There, she could lose herself in a good movie or a record album, or the penthouse view. God, she and Todd switched places. He was sleeping; she was walking the beaten path. He was peaceful, she was plagued by worries.

My, how time changes things. Doesn't heal…just changes. Have I changed at all? I thought I had; now I'm not so sure. I'm probably the same little human doormat that he ran all over in the past. My only defense for my stupidity…"but I love him. I love him. I love him." Love can only do so much.

Am I getting a second chance? Is that what this is all about? Bring us back together for a second chance? Naw, can't be that easy. Besides, we had our second chance…it didn't work out. Face it Tea, you are not meant for love.

Switching gears, she concentrated on his ulcers. She had never seen him in such pain. In the past, he acted like nothing bothered him. Those damned ulcers were doing a number on him. He probably let them get out of control before he had himself checked out. You always let things go too far before getting help. All you have to do is ask.

Wearing only his socks, Todd softly walked down the hall. From the darkness, he scrutinized her. From her posture, he gathered that something was on her mind…probably him. From the tilt in her head, he inferred that she was confused. She was so hurt, all because of him. That's what you do…you rape people…that's what she said on their wedding night. Maybe she's right.

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