She was walking toward the bar, with another man...smiling...laughing. He saw it though. He saw the sadness and the emptiness behind her eyes. She was faking it. He wanted to run to her and snatch her from the grasp of that other man. Get his hands of his fucking woman. What rights did he really have? Any rights he once had to her were forfeited the day he left her.

So many nights he had dreamed of the very moment when he would see her again. The very first look that they would share. In his fantasy, she would look at him and instantly feel that "connection." In reality, knowing her the way he did, there was no way in hell it would be that simple.

He was a mess. A mess that she would never want to clean up...again. Been there...done that. He became acutely aware of how he must look with his bloodshot eyes, skinny physique, probably even smelled like marijuana and certainly reeked of alcohol. I'm coming apart at the seams, Tea.

If he were smart, he would have left without saying a word to her. That magnetism that she had would not allow him to leave. For the briefest of moments, he was content to just look at her, bask in the warmth of her presence. He ordered drink after drink, all the while watching her. Loving her from across the room.

*****

Tea was exhausted from dancing with Grant. Surprisingly, he was good...really good at salsa and meringue. His rhythm matched hers, on beat, loose, agile...a great dance partner. Even let her lead...as if he had a choice.

Settling back into her chair, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She froze...her hands began to tremble. There was a feeling in her stomach; slightly nauseating...her body alarm telling her that something was not quite right.

"Tea, are you alright?" Grant asked, noticing her lightening quick change of mood.

She ignored him. She turned around in her chair, scanning the entire bar for anything out of the ordinary. Her eyes went right past him...twice. "Um, I'll be right back. I need to go freshen up."

She had to pass his table to get to the restroom. The closer she got to the table, the more her body reacted. A case of the shakes, a cold chill, and the knot in her stomach that became progressively tighter. Before she saw him, she felt him. Her eyes were drawn to his table...to him...to his eyes.

They connected. For more than a minute, their eyes remained fixated on one another. The entire room disappeared...it was just the two of them.

Tea had to grab hold of a chair; otherwise, her weak legs would have buckled beneath her. This can't be. It can't be. No! Not after all this time. Oh god, if this is a dream...please doesn't wake me.

Todd never, in a million years, anticipated running into her. He dreamed of it, but seeing as how his dreams never came true, he didn't expect it to actually happen. Looking at her, everything that he felt for her, every emotion that he tried so hard to push so deep he could never access it, came rushing to the surface like a geyser. He wanted to touch her. Her hand was so close to him...gripping onto a chair. Just for a moment, he wanted to feel that feeling of love flowing from her to him. If she pulled away, it would have been worse than Peter Manning holding his hand over an open flame. The physical is always easier than the emotional.

He cleared his throat and tried to act as nonchalant as possible. "Hey." Gim me the words. Gimme the words. "Um...you wanna sit? Will you sit?"

Don't wake me. Please, don't wake me. She closed her eyes for a long time...an exaggerated blink. Let him still be here when I open them. Slowly, they opened...he was still there.

"Tea, um...you gonna sit or what?"

"What?" Shaking her head, she brought herself back to reality. "Oh...um...I can't. I'm...uh...there's someone waiting for me."

His shoulders slumped. She hates me. Oh Tea, don't leave me. Don't go. Save me Tea.

"It's just...you know...I was only going to the restroom...and...I saw you...I...can't...do...this...now...Todd." With the support of her wobbly legs she managed to run into the bathroom...tears falling before the door closes behind her.

She went into the handicap stall and let the tears flow. It's not fair. Not after all this time. How can you taunt me like this? How can you flaunt a man in front of me that you KNOW I can never have completely? God...why do you do this to me? I can't believe it. Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Her legs finally gave out and she sunk to the floor.

The restroom door opened and she heard the very slow and deliberate footsteps coming toward her. She peaked under the stall...it was Todd.

"Tea, you okay?" His voice sounded so sad, so pained, and so soft.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." She was trying to convince herself as well as Todd. She prepared to open the door...wiped her eyes...straightened her clothes. Put on her Delgado armor and prepared for a fight. It was the only way to deal with him without letting him hurt her again.

"Oh, okay." There was so much he needed to say to her...so much they needed to say to each other. When she opened that door, and he saw her, he became the frightened child once again. Afraid that his feelings for her would not be returned...just like the little boy on the playground who really liked the little pig-tailed girl...but was too scared to tell her. Run...Todd...run.

"If you'll excuse me...I need to get back to my date." She steps right around him, walking out of his life.

"Tea...wait." She stops in her tracks. "I...don't go. We need to talk."

"Todd...you have...in your actions...told me all I need to know. I can't listen to your lies. I can't deal with you anymore."

"No, Tea...I...I still...I still...love you. Turn around and look at me." When she makes no attempt to move, he speaks a little louder. "Look at me!!"

Gradually, she turned toward him, looking him straight in his eyes. "What? What is it that you want me to see...huh?"

"I'm a goddamned mess without you. I...need...you."

"How dare you!!" She walks up to him, as close as she can without touching him...her fury bouncing between them. "You LEFT me! You left me on our wedding day and now you say you need me? What about me? What about the needs that I had...huh? You never did give a damn about anyone other than yourself. You have proven that time and time again. You were a goddamned mess before me, and you'll be a goddamned mess until the day you die. So don't spew words of love to me when you have never, ever, shown me any evidence of your love. You don't want me and you don't want anybody else to have me. That's what this whole thing is about."

"No-"

"I know you Todd. I know how you operate. I'm not falling for your little games again. I'm going back to the bar, to my DATE...a man who can and will satisfy every need that you couldn't."

He stood there, watching as the door closed behind her. In a way, her words were so true. She held up that magic mirror again, showing him exactly what he was.

I sentence you to a life of hell...in other words...I sentence you to a life without your wife and daughter. You are to spend your remaining years...alone...and...unloved.

"Shut the fuck up Oprah."

*****

Tea apologized to Grant for being away so long. He gladly accepted, taking the liberty of ordering both of them another drink. Earlier in the evening, she declared that she was "cutting herself off" for the rest of the night, switching from martinis to water. After seeing Todd, she wanted to drink herself into a state of complete emotional deadness.

Grant talked and talked...his voice was drowned out by the sound of her thoughts. It didn't dawn on him that he was essentially talking to himself...he rarely took time to breathe between sentences. The only thing that did catch his attention was her empty glass, which he promptly had re-filled.

Breathe. Breathe. It's going to be okay. Let him go. He can't hurt you anymore...not unless you let him. You're safe. Don't crack now.

*****

Todd watched her every move...every action...every reaction. She would smile...laugh...touch her date ever so slightly on the arm. It physically hurt to see her with someone else. Smiling at someone else. Laughing at someone else's jokes. Most of all, it hurt seeing her touch another man, when just minutes before, she stopped just short of touching him.

He started drinking shots of tequila. Had them lined up on the table, drinking one right after the other. If he drank enough, he would revert to the unfeeling beast that everyone thought he was. That was really the object...to not feel. He could have gotten up and left, but he wanted to see her for as long as possible...needed to see her...in the flesh.

Look at you...all over that guy...like some...cheap...oh...shit! Why you doin' this huh? I never wanted to hurt you...why can't you see that? I did everything for us...our future. Even when I don't get punished...I get punished. Damnit, Delgado, I tried to be everything you wanted me to be...but that still wasn't enough for you. I can't fucking take this!

*****

She drank an additional two or three martinis...she couldn't remember. It didn't matter anyway...as long as she couldn't feel. She could have left the bar, but it was sort of a game she was playing with Todd. Who is going to be the first to crack? If she left, it would be tantamount to admitting her feelings for him. If she stayed, it would show that she didn't give a damn about him or his feelings. A little trick she learned from him. Whenever things got too comfortable, you walked away...just like that.

On the sly, she would steal looks at him. He was so pale and so thin...she shivered just thinking about how he had been living. He had always been so bad at taking care of himself, neglecting himself in the name of a story or whatever paranoid fantasy he had.

What are you doing to yourself Todd? Shit...why do I even care? This is really pathetic, Tea. A gorgeous man is talking your ear off, and you're not even paying attention. Are you stuck on stupid? Todd is broken; he doesn't want to be fixed! He's not your problem anymore. Don't give him the power to hurt you anymore. You are in control...stay in control.

"Would you like to dance again?"

"I beg your pardon?" She hadn't heard a word he said in minutes, maybe even hours.

"Would you like to dance again?"

"Uh...sure. Why not?"

*****

She's holding his fucking hand...right in front of me.

He watched her saunter onto the dance floor...glancing in his direction as she did. For my benefit huh? He drank his very last glass of tequila, slamming it down on the table.

They swayed together, slowly, to the beat of the music. There was no room between them; they looked as if they were soldered together. She probably feels his fucking hard on. He had to hang onto the table just to keep from kicking his ass. His fingernails dug into the wooden table...his jaw clenched.

She is mine! You...you...goddamn prick. Get away from her! Get away from her!

All he could see were visions of the parade of men he knew she had slept with...Kevin...Andrew...Sykes...RJ. Those were the ones he knew about. The guy she was with became a compilation of them all. The alcohol distorted everything...his vision...his senses...everything. The one thing his intoxication could not cure...and in fact made worse...were his ulcers. They were beginning to flair up...they were burning. He pushed the pain deep inside, and made his way to the dance floor...to Tea.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Grant turned around, feeling a finger on his shoulder. "Yes?"

"Move," Todd commanded.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! Get your hands off her...I'm cutting in." Outweighed by at least forty pounds and a couple of inches shorter than Grant, Todd stepped in his face.

Pulling away from Tea. "Look, the lady-"

"Would love to dance with him." She saw the anger in his eyes, knowing that there would be trouble if she didn't intervene.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'll be fine." Grant grudgingly walked away, looking at the ground.

"Thanks," Todd says, grabbing her by the waist and attempting to pull her to him.

"I didn't do it for you...I did it for him. You would have killed him if you didn't get your way." She put one hand around his waist, holding his hand with the other. Miles separated them.

They hardly swayed at all. The feeling of being so close to one another was enough.

"This is so right Tea."

She just looked at him. Enjoyed looking at him. His eyes weren't right. The corners of his mouth were formed in the shape of a grimace. "What's wrong?" She pulled away.

"What? What?" He groaned in pain just as he collapsed in her arms.

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