| AGAIN BY TORRI |
CHAPTER 16 |
Part 16
I heard from a friend today,and she said you were in town,
suddenly the memories came back to me
in my mind.
How can I be strong,
I've asked myself
Time,
and time I've said
that I'll never fall in love
with you again.
A wounded heart you gave,
my soul you took away.
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did.
I come from a place that hurts,
and God knows how I've cried,
and I never want to return.
Never fall again.
Making love to you
oh it felt so good and
oh so right.
How can I be strong,
I've asked myself
time
and time I've said
that I'll never fall in love
with you again.
So here we are alone again.
Didn't think it'd come to this.
And to know it all began
with just a little kiss.
I've come to close to happiness
to have it swept away
don't think in can take the pain
never fall again.
Kinda late in the game
and my heart is in
your hands.
Don't you stand there
and then tell me you love me
then leave again
cause I'm falling in love
with you again.
Hold me,
hold me,
don't ever let me go.
Say it just one time
say you love me
God knows I do
love you
again.
-Lyrics by Janet Jackson "Again"
The Beach
The sky is orange, as the sun is just beginning to disappear beyond the horizon. The water is warm, but there are few people in the water. There is a slight wind, causing a pleasant breeze. Todd and Tea sit quietly on a bank of rocks that overlook the ocean. The sun is producing an angelic light that frames Tea's face. Todd stares at her, knowing in his heart that she is his angel. She turns to him, and smiles uneasily, nervous and anxious at the same time.
"What are you looking at?" She asks.
"Promise you won't laugh," he pleads.
"I won't," she promises as she turns her body toward him.
"You're glowing."
"Glowing?"
"Yeah. It's like you've always been an angel to me, now the rest of the universe is just discovering it."
She is taken aback by his honesty. Not knowing what to say, or do, she just nods as the tears start to flow.
"Don't cry," he says as he wipes her tears with his thumbs. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry. Geez, why can't I do anything right?" He asks no one in particular.
"You didn't hurt me, honest. It's just, what you said is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me," she says honestly as she covers his hands with her own.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"How come you're not mad at me? Not that I want you to be, or anything. I just expected you to yell and scream, smack me around a bit," he says with a smile.
"I have thought about what I would do if I ever saw you again. I've imagined every possible scenario. But the truth is, I didn't know what I would do. You know I see a therapist, right?"
"I think you may have mentioned it."
"We talked about letting go of pain, and anger, those are negative emotions. Negative feelings affect every aspect of your life. I've let those feelings control me for too long, and I'm just tired. Tired of hurting and being mad all the time."
"So where does that leave us?" He asks hopefully.
"I don't know," she answers, as she wraps her arms around herself for warmth.
"You cold?"
"A little."
He removes his shirt, and wraps it drapes it around her shoulders. "Here."
"No," she protests, "now you'll freeze. How about us going back to the house for some coffee."
"Okay."
They make the short walk from the beach back from the house, in silence. They steal peaks at one another, neither talking. This time, they walk to the front of the house, but Todd stops and turns to Tea before they reach the door.
"Do you have that key I sent you?"
"Yes," she says as she fishes it from her purse. "I grabbed it this morning, thinking that it was to the house," she says as she unlocks the door. "Wow," her mouth drops as she looks around the massive foyer.
"Come here, let me show you something," he takes her hand and leads her into a room with a wet bar, bar stools, and a state of the art sound system hidden behind an electronic panel.
"What is this?"
He ignores her question and fiddles with the stereo remote. He hits the play button for the CD player, and salsa music begins to blast from the speakers. He walks back to her and extends his hand. "May I have this dance?"
"Todd, you hate to dance," she says as she gives him her hand.
"Yeah, but you love it," he pulls her to him.
"Can you even dance?"
"I've got moves you've never seen before," he laughs.
"I see you've been brushing up on your romantic comedies."
"I wanted to impress you," he starts to gyrate his hips very seductively. Tea had no idea he had such rhythm.
"You're really good at this."
"I should be after all the money I spent on lessons." The way they move together is so natural, so perfect. Todd is still not wearing a shirt, his bare chest rubbing against her, turning her on. After the music stops, they move over to the bar and sit on the stools.
"That felt so good," says Tea, still breathing hard from the dance.
"Better than when you were dancing with Antonio?"
"Easily," she answers with a smile.
"Thanks. Hey, you wanna drink?" He asks as steps around the bar and opens himself a bar.
"Yes. How about a pina coloda?"
"You sure? You know how you get after you've had one of those."
"Positive. I think I can handle one,"
"Whatever. Uh, you can, you know, always stay over again," he stammers as he hands her the drink.
"Thank you. When did you start taking salsa lessons?" she asks.
"A couple of months ago. You wanna watch a movie, or play a game or something?"
"What movies do you have?"
"Anything you want," Todd says as he hops off his stool. She does the same, and he leads her to the family room. The big screen television is surrounded by hundreds of movies, categorized by genre. She settles on "Sense and Sensibility," handing the movie to Todd. He looks at the title, and frowns.
"What?" She asks innocently.
"Come on, can't you pick something more, uh, masculine?"
"You said anything I wanted, and this is what I want."
"Fine, he says as he grudgingly puts the DVD into the player. What's this movie about anyway?"
"Love and patience and fate and desire and all those other things you hate so much."
"Oh, god," he says as he rolls his eyes.
"Just give it a chance. It reminds me of us in a way. That's why I picked it."
"How does it remind you of us?"
"Well, two people are madly in love, but the timing is never right. There are misunderstandings, and deception, but they overcome all obstacles and end up together."
"I repeat, how does it remind you of us?"
"We've overcome a lot, and, who knows, maybe we'll end up together. You just never know."
"You want some popcorn?" He asks, trying to change the subject.
"Yes, please."
"Alright," he starts the movie, and goes to the kitchen to fix the popcorn.
She relaxes into the couch, feeling more at ease than she has felt in a long time. This is the way it should be, Todd. Perfect house, perfect beach, perfect love. Why did it have to go so wrong?
Todd hops on the couch, interrupting her thoughts. She jumps, slightly startled.
"Did I scare you?"
"A little. You made me another drink?"
"Yeah."
A Couple of Hours Later
Todd and Tea were both drunk, and feeling more talkative than usual. Todd polishes off the last of his beer, and uses the back of his hand to wipe his mouth.
"Why do you do that?"
"What?"
"Why do you use your hand to wipe your mouth?"
"Habit," he answers.
"Oh."
"When I was in therapy, I started remembering things," he confides.
"Like what?"
"Um, like, okay, you know how I've always had terrible table manners, and you always hated that. Well, when I was a kid, Peter used to," his eyes begin to fill with tears, "he used to withhold food from me. I would go days without eating, then out of the blue he would put a plate in front of me, and I would have to try to eat it before he took it away," the tears begin to fall.
Tea puts her arm around him, and he leans his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't. I planned on telling you about my therapy anyway. I didn't remember a lot of the stuff he did until I started seeing Suzanne. Are you sleepy?"
"Not really, why, you want to talk some more?"
"Yeah."
