| UNFINISHED BUSINESS BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 16 |
[Todd watches the pain in her eyes. He knows that he put it there by leaving her, each time that he did, each way that he did.]
Todd: Can I love you without feeling like I revealed too much, like I risked too much, like I went too far and the only way to keep from falling into that emotional pit that I just opened up is if I get away from you?
Tea: Can you? Can you love me and stay with me? Can you allow me to love you while you love me? Can you give me everything that I want, Todd? Right here, right now, can you do that?
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chapter 16:
Todd: You're asking for a lot, Tea.
Tea: Only what I deserve...what we both deserve.
Todd: I don't deserve it. I never deserved any of this. I never deserved what you were offering me.
Tea: I'm still offering it.
Todd: Don't. You'll just get hurt again.
Tea: Not if you stay. Not if you let me love you this time. Not if you love me, too.
[Tea waits, hoping to hear Todd declare his love for her. He remains silent. Tea's hopes are crushed. She steps away from him.]
Todd: Delgado...
Tea: Go, Todd. This was a mistake.
[Tea turns and walks out of the kitchen. She goes into their bedroom and climbs into bed. More than ever she wants to escape into sleep, to escape all of the pain that she's feeling right now. Tears quickly escape her eyes, helping to exhaust her and she does soon fall asleep.
Hours later, Tea awakens. She keeps her eyes closed and pulls the blanket over her face, trying to keep the morning light from forcing her out of bed. She doesn't want to get up. She doesn't want to face yet another miserable day alone and feeling empty inside. She has no husband. She has no baby. The two things that she needs the most...and the two things that she knows are lost to her forever.
For several minutes, Tea allows herself to wallow in her own pain. She knows that she was stupid to trust Todd again. She's angry at him for not staying the night before, for not loving her as much as she needed him to love her, even though she knows that it wasn't fair for her to put such heavy expectations on him, especially when he had no idea that he would even see her yesterday. She can't help it, though. She had really hoped that he would surprise her, that life would surprise her, and they would have ended the night together and began this new day as a fresh beginning.
The sound of the curtains in her bedroom being closed, along with the light still visible through her blanket disappearing, startles her. She quickly pulls the blanket away from her face and looks toward the window.
She finds Todd sitting in a chair by the window, looking at her.]
Tea: What are you doing here?
Todd: I don't know.
Tea: Were you here all night?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: Why?
Todd: I don't know.
Tea: Do you think you might know at some point?
Todd: I don't know.
Tea: Well...this conversation isn't helping much. I'll get up and make some breakfast for us, okay?
Todd: I should go.
Tea: You don't have to.
Todd: If I stay, you'll think it means something.
Tea: Would that be a bad thing? Would it really be so horrible if you stayed and allowed me to love you?
Todd: What if I can't do it? What if I can't give you all the stuff you want? What if you end up crying yourself to sleep again tonight...and tomorrow night...and every night after that?
Tea: Did you know I was crying last night?
[Todd looks away from her and remains silent.]
Tea: Did you?
[Todd still doesn't answer her.]
Tea: If you knew, why didn't you come in here and comfort me? Why didn't you hold me? You knew that I wanted you to hold me, didn't you?
Todd: It's too much, Tea.
Tea: You have to deal with that, Todd. You have to, for me and for you.
Todd: I don't need this. I never needed any of this.
Tea: I think you do need it. You need love, Todd. You want love. You can lie to everyone else. You can try to lie to yourself. You can't lie to me, Todd. You need love. I have so much love for you. You just have to let me give it to you. Let me wrap it around you.
Todd: I only stayed last night to make sure you didn't do something stupid. You know, like walk into that stupid ocean, or something.
Tea: Is that what you were afraid of? Are you sure you weren't afraid that you would walk into that ocean yourself if you didn't spend the night here with me, where you know that you're loved?
Todd: Love... I'd rather be kicked in the gut. That would hurt a lot less.
Tea: I know it hurts. I hurt. I need you so much. I want you to be with me because...
[Tea pauses for a moment, finding it difficult putting her own feelings into words.
Todd stands up.]
Todd: I should go.
Tea: You don't have to.
Todd: This is what you wanted, isn't it?
Tea: I don't want you to leave.
Todd: That night, you wanted me to stick around until you woke up before I took off on you, right?
Tea (her anger rising): Right, Todd. I wanted to be awake when you pulled my heart out and dragged it behind you as you raced for the door. Leave! Go ahead! Run! Get as far away from me as you can. Break my heart. You never cared about me. You never loved me. I never meant anything to you. Get out of my life. Get out of my house. You don't belong here.
[Todd studies her face. He knows that she's angry at him right now. He can see how much she's hurting, though. It's not just the tears flowing down her cheeks that give away her pain. It's her eyes. It's that desperate, lonely, scared look in her eyes. He knows that she doesn't mean most of what she's saying right now.
Todd can't handle the amount of pain in the room...hers and his. He leaves the bedroom...and the house.
Tea turns onto her stomach and cries into her pillow. The pain is overwhelming. The sense of loss is worse than it's ever been before.
In his car, Todd speeds down the road, trying to escape the pain, both inside himself and inside Tea. It's too much for him to endure right now. All he can do is run from it. He knows that it will just cause more pain for both of them but he can't go back. He can't allow himself to feel this much. It's too dangerous. He needs to run.]
to be continued...
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