The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
| REACHING OUT BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 44 |
PREVIOUSLY: [Tea's thoughts disappear as Todd stands up and leans over her. He brings his mouth to hers and kisses her gently on the lips.
After a few moments of mutual pleasure, he pulls away from her, picks up his suitcase and leaves her room.]
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chapter 44:
[Minutes later...
Del arrives in Tea's room with dinner. He's surprised to find that Tea is alone.]
Del: Where's that bastard of yours?
Tea: He left.
Del: Permanently?
[Tea gives her brother a glare that lets him know she isn't amused.]
Del: You can't blame me for hoping. You deserve so much more than that loser could ever give you.
Tea: You don't know Todd the way that I do.
Del: Are you going to try to tell me that he's really a sweet, gentle man when you're alone with each other, instead of the disgusting bastard he is when other people are around?
Tea: Todd can be very sweet...when he wants to be.
Del: How often is that?
Tea: Let's just eat dinner and talk about something else.
Del: I brought extra. I knew that bastard would try to eat your food, if I didn't.
Tea: I don't eat much now anyway.
Del: You need to. You need to put on some weight.
Tea: If I wanted someone to nag me about eating, I would have let Todd stay tonight.
Del: Where is he staying?
Tea: I don't know. He didn't say.
Del: Should I toss his dinner out the window? He's probably in the bushes.
Tea: He is not.
Del: You checked?
Tea: Are we eating, or not?
Del: If you need me to, I'll go find your bastard and bring him back here.
Tea: You hate him. Why would you want him here?
Del: You love him. It's a mystery to me what the attraction is, but it's clear how you feel about him. If you need him, I'll find him for you.
Tea: We'll both survive one night apart.
Del: You're still moving in with him?
Tea: Yes. Don't give me a hard time about it.
Del: I won't. It's Todd I'll be giving a hard time to, if he hurts you again. I won't let him get away with treating you like he did before.
Tea: Stop worrying so much about me.
Del: You're my baby sister. It's my job to look after you.
Tea: I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of myself.
Del: Not when it comes to that bastard of yours. You let him get away with every lousy thing he does to you.
Tea: If you keep this up, it won't just be Todd that I send away tonight.
Del: You're already trying to send me away. I think I should stick around longer.
Tea: You and Todd can't get along.
Del: That's his fault, not mine.
Tea: You keep insulting him.
Del: I haven't come close to the kinds of insults that pig has been saying about you. You should have more respect for yourself than to be with someone who talks about you the way that he does.
Tea: I know that whatever he said earlier must have really upset you, but I need you to not hold it against Todd. It probably wasn't true, anyway.
Del: He never should have said it.
Tea: Todd just likes to get a reaction out of people. Stop giving him that reaction and he'll stop saying inappropriate things.
Del: I doubt that.
Tea: Just try. I don't want to have to keep both of you separated forever.
Del: I won't let that bastard keep me from spending time with my baby sister.
Tea: So, you'll come back and visit again?
Del: Do you plan on staying here permanently? Or, are you hoping that your bastard will invite you to return to Llanview with him?
Tea: He already has. I'm not ready to leave yet.
Del: I grew up here. This will always be home to me. But, your home isn't here. Maybe you shouldn't hide out here for too long.
Tea: I'm not hiding out. Okay, maybe I am...a little. The last thing I need right now is for people I know to look at me with pity, like they would if I went back to New York, or Pennsylvania. Besides, I like it here. I may not have grown up here, like you did, but I do feel a special connection to this place.
Del: I thought it might be easier for you to be somewhere else right now.
Tea: The loss I feel won't be any less if I go somewhere else.
Del: I know. I just worry about you being here all alone.
Tea: I'm not alone. Todd's here.
Del: Don't remind me.
Tea: He really does help me.
Del: I don't know how.
Tea: You don't need to know. You just need to accept that he does.
Del: My girlfriend and I have talked about bringing her kids down here sometime. Do you think you can keep your bastard under control, if we do?
Tea: Do you think you could stop calling him a bastard?
Del: That's tame, compared to what I really want to call him.
Tea: Todd loves children. I'm sure that he would be on his best behavior. Besides, I would love to meet the woman who has you finally settling down.
Del: We're not married.
Tea: Yet.
[Tea laughs at the fear she sees on her brother's face at the possibility of marriage.]
Tea: You're such a man! Commitment and marriage don't mean the end of the best part of your life. For many, marriage is the best part of their lives.
Del: And, for some, it doesn't work out.
Tea: Going from woman to woman isn't working out for you anymore, is it? You want something more, don't you?
Del: We're just dating. That's all.
Tea: I think it's more than that this time. I can tell. This woman is someone special to you. She's not like the other bimbos you've devoted much of your life to, up to this point. And, I can tell that you adore her children.
Del: They are great kids.
Tea: They're accepting you okay?
Del: They seem to.
Tea: Is their father still in their lives?
Del: He lives in Europe, but he makes sure that he's still a regular part of their lives, despite the distance.
Tea: Have you met him?
Del: A few times. He seems like a decent guy.
Tea: Everything seems perfect.
Del: Except my job.
Tea: Does your girlfriend want you to find a safer job?
Del: There's that, but also that my job keeps me away a lot.
Tea: And, I'm keeping you away now, too.
Del: Tina understands. She does want to meet you, though.
Tea: After Todd and I find a place, if it's big enough, you could bring your family down and stay with us.
Del: I'm just dating her.
Tea: If you really care about this woman, stop fighting it. Accept that you have a family now. Trust me, it's not a bad feeling, once you allow yourself to really embrace it.
Del: You don't have any regrets?
Tea: I have many regrets. But, none of them are because I opened up my heart to Todd, or to his daughter. I just wish that we could have made it work, that we could have made each other happy, longer than we were able to, and that we hadn't hurt Starr in the process of messing up our own lives.
Del: Do you really think you can make it work this time?
Tea: I don't know. I am willing to try. And, Todd is willing to try. We both know that we've been given another chance. And, we each know how close we came to losing each other permanently. Even if it doesn't last this time, I still want whatever time I can have with Todd, because I love him. If I had died...
[Tea wipes at a tear escaping her eye as she's transported back to that horrific event weeks earlier.]
Tea: ...my biggest regret, besides suggesting this trip, of course, would have been that Todd never would have known how much I still loved him. He would have spent the rest of his life convinced that I hated him. I never should have allowed that. I never should have chosen my pride over my heart. That was a mistake.
Del: One that you'll never make again?
Tea: I may make it again, but I'll regret it if I do. Love is so precious and so fragile. If you love this woman, don't let your fear get in the way. If you give in to that love, you may get hurt, but if you never love, and never allow yourself to be loved, the damage done will be far greater than any broken heart.
Del: It's just easier not to allow yourself to get that close to anyone.
Tea: I know. Your mami died. Mine abandoned us. I know that we both learned early not to trust people to last forever in our lives.
Del: It serves me well in my job.
Tea: But, not in your life, and not in your heart. When I called you and told you about the accident, when you went home after that first visit, after burying someone you loved dearly, who comforted you, your job or your family?
Del: Maybe we should talk about something else. I'm getting too depressed to eat.
Tea: I've been too depressed to eat for weeks.
Del: Is that changing? Now that you have your bastard with you, are you feeling better?
Tea: Todd has helped.
Del: Do you really think he can stick with this and give you everything you need this time?
Tea: I don't know. Part of me wants him to. Part of me is where you are right now, thinking that maybe it would be better if I ran from my feelings and didn't risk my heart again. But, I would be risking it by pushing Todd away. I know that now. Being apart was only easier because the pain was already a constant. When I'm with him, I'm always waiting for the pain to come, because I know that it will. I know that he'll leave. I know that I'll only be allowed a taste of happiness before it's yanked away from me again. But, this time, I'm going to savor that taste. It may not last long but I will enjoy it as much as I can while I have it this time. I'm so aware right now that this could be the last taste I ever receive.
Del: Maybe your bastard will surprise both of us and get it right this time.
Tea: Maybe he will. Maybe I'll be the one who walks away this time.
Del: I thought you were so determined to make things work?
Tea: It's easy to say when I'm talking to you, when I'm telling you what to do. When Todd is here, though, and I feel those feelings, I get so scared. When that happens, the pain of being without him seems preferable to the agony of giving him my heart, knowing that he won't want it and he'll leave, like everyone always leaves.
Del: We'll make a deal. We'll both stop playing it safe and start really risking our hearts.
Tea: And, when it doesn't work out?
Del: I thought I was the pessimist in the family.
Tea: I'm so tired of it hurting so much, but I can't imagine it being any different.
Del: I hate to say this, but he did show up here when he found out what happened. He does seem to truly care about you. I think that it really scared him, realizing that he could have lost you. He may actually be a man this time, instead of a little boy, and stick it out. If he doesn't, I'll hunt him down and kick his butt.
Tea: Speaking of little boys...
Del: You're my sister. Anyone who messes with you better be prepared to answer to me. I'm going to be a bigger part of your life now so that bastard of yours better watch his step.
to be continued...
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2001 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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